New GOP Strategy Involves Reelecting Obama

[demwing]

Making His Life Even More Miserable...

WASHINGTON—Calling a GOP victory in the 2012 presidential election antithetical to the party platform, top Republicans revealed a new long-term political strategy Tuesday: reelecting Barack Obama and making his life even more of a living hell than it already is.

According to GOP sources, the decision to cede the 2012 election to Obama came after rank-and-file Republicans agreed that grinding the president down to nothing and pushing him to the brink of insanity was far more in line with the Republican Party's core principles than actually controlling the White House, making laws, or governing the country..."

"...If Barack Obama doesn't go to bed fuming with deep primal rage every single night, then we haven't done our job," said House Speaker John Boehner, who later called the residual effect of getting to watch Obama's supporters become more and more disillusioned with their country as their president's posture deteriorates, his face becomes exceedingly gaunt, and his once booming voice turn shaky and unconfident "definitely a plus." "Mark my words: The Republican Party is committed to giving the American people a president who has a chronically bleeding gastric ulcer that makes it almost impossible for him to stand up. To be honest, I'm glad we're pulling out of this election, because I really don't know what we would focus on if we won," Boehner added. "Health care?"

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-gop-strategy-involves-reelecting-obama-making,21113/

[woo me with science]

1. Not sure that's parody anymore.

They are accomplishing more with him in office than they would ever have been able to accomplish with a united Democratic opposition.


We need a primary. We need to reclaim our party from the Third Way.

[Marr]

2. Actually, it would be the smart play for them. A Republican could *never* go after SS/Medicare.

A trojan donkey, however, is another story. This is one of those times when satire is more real than the official narrative, I think.

[EOTE]

3. Or simply reelecting him because "if it ain't broke, don't try to fix it."

The past few years have worked out rather well for them. I'm sure another 4 would turn out just as well.

[Name removed]

4. Deleted message

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