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Fuzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 11:48 AM
Original message
How to Be a Real Man
Written by Jennifer Granholm's husband to his son.

As a stay at home dad with a successful wife, who I encourage, advise and support, it sums it up really well for me.

http://www.newsweek.com/2011/05/01/how-to-be-a-real-man...

Dear Jack,

At your physical yesterday, the nurse measured you at 5 feet 9 inches. You have officially passed your old man. And at 13, youre not done growing.

Theres never been a better time to grow into manhood, but not everyone thinks so. NEWSWEEK recently reported on the plight of the Beached White Male. Man down! theyre cryingand insisting wed better man up. It got me thinking about what it means to be a man.

I always thought that I would become governor, and then Id be the man. But the train tracks got switched, and instead Mom pulled into that station. I came to wonder about my strength. Do you remember when I took you along to my speech about leadership to some Cisco executives in Chicago, where you ran the PowerPoint slides? During the Q&A someone asked you why your dad was a great leader. You told them that I faithfully visited the young man I mentor in the Big Brother program, even when he was frustrating and difficult. Then someone asked, Why is your mom a great leader? and you said, Wow, my momwhere do I even start? I felt my armor pierced by that contrastMoms obvious, overwhelming heroism, and my leadership, such as it was, smaller, humbler.

More at link.
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MineralMan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 11:52 AM
Response to Original message
1. How to be a Real Person.
That seems like a better subject to me. I can't see where there's a difference between being a good man and being a good woman. I don't believe sex plays into the issue at all. Being a good person, though. There's a good thing to look at, I think.
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Fuzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 12:02 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. The letter was written as a response to a Newsweek cover.
The cover had something like the death of the white male, or something similar and the story was full of male stereotypes and how it's making men feel bad.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 11:54 AM
Response to Original message
2.  I dont feel less of a man. I do feel more of a human being.
A strong man, Jack, is not threatened by others greatness. Hes comfortable with his own.

brings health, balance and grounding. i love this article and couldnt agree more. opens opportunity

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XOKCowboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 11:56 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. Agreed nt
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handmade34 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 11:58 AM
Response to Original message
4. made me think of this
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Fuzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 12:04 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Funny story. When I took my oldest daughter to the first day of Kindergarten
her picture ended up in the local newspaper. The caption read ". . .waves goodbye to her mommy".

I was like HEY!

Then I realized I was like one of the only men there, and every day dropping off and picking up, the same thing, for years.

Every year now, more and more men are there. Not sure if it's the economy, or the fact that attitudes are changing. I like to think I started a trend. ;)
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. probably a good 30% are fathers picking up and dropping kids off today
at my sons middle school. i love it.

adn that number is just made up.... but seems at least that. there are a lot. not unnormal at all
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Fuzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 02:30 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. Same here, but 10 years ago, I was the only one.
The clique of women there looked at me strangely.

;)
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 02:51 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. true that. as i think about a decade ago when kids younger and now
Edited on Fri May-06-11 02:52 PM by seabeyond
we are talking 8 yrs later

but

isnt that the coolest

i always thought grand even when there werent that many. but then i know single fathers who are raising kids, so really not outside of the box. i do like to see so many fathers so much a part of it all though... and it is just a reality, accepted, not a "strange" look

as likely to see the father as the mother
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Fuzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 03:10 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. Right now, though, I'm wondering if 15 and 11 is too late to put them
up for adoption.

freakin' monsters.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 03:18 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. the whole 2 yr olds in adult body stage, lol. perseverance. nt
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Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 03:31 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. They're probably wondering the same thing, except
...about you.



At that age, it's your mission to embarrass them as much as humanly possible in front of their friends...at least, that's what they are thinking.
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hfojvt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 04:05 PM
Response to Reply #8
16. I find it odd that so many people are doing that at all
Are kids today unable to walk? Do parents think it is too dangerous for them to walk? Lots of kids drove to high school and some came on bicycles and country kids rode the bus, but I did not know anybody who got picked up or dropped off, and probably half of us had stay at home moms.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 04:09 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. few sidewalks now a days. my kids are out of district, about 5 miles away. on a 4 lane hwy 70 mph
Edited on Fri May-06-11 04:10 PM by seabeyond
or more. no busses. a lot of the kids that live in the immediate area walk home or ride bikes. people outside of neighborhood are not so comfortable with it

in my day, from a certain distance, there were busses.
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Fuzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 04:16 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. Not enough sidewalks and too much traffic here in NJ.
This year both take busses. Next year I'm back to driving one back and forth for 2 years again.

Here it's a matter of distance, and that distance keeps getting longer almost every year.
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Liberal_in_LA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 02:35 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. good for you! cute story
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Kber Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. 'nuther funny story
I (mommy) dropped my daughter off for her first day of kindergarten this year and at the last minute she cried and clung to my leg. Her teacher pealed her off and led her inside and I went to work just a little shaken.

Later, when I called my DH at his office to let him know how drop-off went, his first reaction was that I might have been "too soft" and that's why our daughter cried. My first reaction was "are you kidding?"

Which I immediately swallowed, allowed that he might be right and would be much better at drop off than I am.

Which how DH became among the few Dads to regularly drop off his daughter each and every day before he goes to work.

And we all lived happily ever after. :)

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tularetom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 12:11 PM
Response to Original message
7. Well, that's patently untrue
Everybody knows that to be a real man you have to drink, cuss, scratch your balls, belch, fart, screw a lot of women and threaten to kick everybody's ass you disagree with.

Seriously, great article. Wish I'd known what I know now, 32 years ago when my kid was 13. It would have made the transition to manhood a little less eventful for him.
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cleanhippie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-11 04:23 PM
Response to Original message
19. Hey, thank you. That was fucking great, man!
I too, am now a stay at home dad, raising a two year old. It certainly has changed my perspective and I can identify with both you and the author in the link.

Thanks for posting this.
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