Court date moved for man charged with faceplant in women's buttocks (real headline in real paper)

[SoCalDem]

Court date moved for man charged with faceplant in women's buttocks
Suspect has adamantly denied wrongdoing
BY CASEY MCNERTHNEY, SEATTLEPI.COM STAFF
Published 09:38 p.m., Tuesday, May 3, 2011
http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Court-date-moved-for-man-charged-with-faceplant-1363740.php

The setting of a trial date for the man accused of planting his face in the buttocks of multiple women at a West Seattle park was postponed Tuesday after his defense asked for more time. Duane Starkenburg, 46, has been charged with two counts of indecent liberties and one count of attempted indecent liberties. He has adamantly denied wrongdoing, and is not being jailed. His case setting hearing, where a trial date is expected to be set, is scheduled for July 5.

Starkenburg made headlines in January following his release from jail on $175,000 bond. Speaking to several reporters, he said he knew of two of the alleged victims, but not the third, and said there has been a serious misunderstanding. Starkenburg complained about the women's identification of him, said he was celibate for seven years, maintained that had never touched his partner without her coming out of the shower, clarified details of a violent felony case in which he struck a woman during a road rage incident, and admitted to being at the West Seattle park.

"Yeah, I do watch women run," he told the reporters. "They're runnin' around half-naked." Starkenburg questioned how he's a threat to the community. He also said he has chronic insomnia and played football half his life, saying he knows how to tackle people. Starkenburg said he hadn't been in Lincoln Park until he started trying to get into shape again last month. Starkenburg said that he wouldn't be going into parks ever again, "so all you ladies are safe in Lincoln Park."


snip

[Orrex]

1. No one dances cheek-to-cheek anymore.

:wtf:

[chrisa]

2. Maybe he was turning into a werewolf, and he was trying to say hello.

'They're runnin' around half naked!' - Yeah, doesn't sound like a threat at all. :)

[pipi_k]

3. He was only promoting a new cartoon series...."Beaver and Buttface" n/t

[SoCalDem]

4. ahahahahahahaa

you win:)

[Ikonoklast]

5. Yeah, there's a serious misunderstanding, all right.

Between a rational thought process and him.

This guy is damn lucky he never tried that with my daughter, we'd be reading his obit.

She doesn't play nice with molesters.