Why is God telling BOTH Bachmann and Santorum to run for president?

[jberryhill]

Either God has one heck of a sense of humor, or these candidates missed the part about God telling Sharon Angle to run so that we'd have something to laugh at.

But, seriously, I'd like these two into a debate and ask them, "Which one of you did God tell to run?"

How would you even sort that out? With a dunking stool? Seeing which one floats?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. God certainly has a twisted sense of humor.

[Lugnut]

25. That would be my guess. n/t

[Joe Bacon]

52. You forget that Bachman & Santorum's "God" is Ayn Rand.

And "Ayn as in Mine" always said "Look Out for #1"...

[DJ13]

2. She's making fun of them

[valerief]

3. No problem. They'll be Raptured on 5/21. nt

[demosincebirth]

20. Holy shit! We're leaving on vacation that day.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

34. You bet you are!

:evilgrin:

[BobbyBoring]

64. Heaven or hell?

Purgatory is booked solid!

[Zambero]

4. Because when you put their last name intitials together...

It spells B.S.
A subtle tipoff from God almighty!

[Tx4obama]

5. And Palin is waiting for a word from God too about running! LOL n/t

[jberryhill]

8. Well, if that's a tough decision for God, then I'm definitely leaning atheist /nt

[RichGirl]

31. Not so fast...

God works in mysterious ways. He wants them to run...that doesn't mean he wants them to win. As I recall, he also told Palin to run as VP in the last election. Look how that turned out. THANKS GOD!!

I'm being facetious of course. Personally, I believe "God" is the energy force that runs through all living things. Religion has distorted the concept of God beyond recognition. Especially Christianity.

[mythology]

43. It's not that God is having a hard time making the decision.

It's that God is having a hard time telling Palin to run without laughing. This is one of those things that doesn't work if the mark is in on it, sort of like on the show Punk'd or Candid Camera.

[Rosa Luxemburg]

54. God has already chosen Obama so they are fakin'

[appleannie1]

6. Actually, their mental condition causes them to hear voices in their head. It is not God.

[jberryhill]

12. But God only speaks to people like that anyway

Now THERE'S a coincidence.

[The Magistrate]

7. God Likes a Cage Match, Sir....

[jberryhill]

9. Good point, and historically supported

E.g. the war against the Benjamites.

[susanr516]

38. ROFL!

I was going to say God likes to hedge all his bets, but your response is so much better! Thanks for the laugh.

[underpants]

41. Read the Bible - God invented humor

very funny Magistrate

[LatteLibertine]

56. Read the bible indeed

that god is sadistic and insane.

[Ikonoklast]

62. Shut up and kill your kids.

I have commanded it.

When you are done, rape and kill everyone in your path that I tell you to.

I like that stuff, too.

[baldguy]

10. Different gods talking to different people, obviously.

[jberryhill]

13. We should make them do competing miracles to decide who has the better god

[Sheepshank]

11. Satan is the great deceiver......

....so which one is the one being deceived? Makes for a conundrum. We should let those two duke it out. IMHO Best be safe and vote for neither one.

[jberryhill]

18. Well on the off chance one of them is right, we ought to give dunking a fair try

[TlalocW]

14. Is Bachmann officially announced?

Where does it say Bachmann is hearing voices?

TlalocW

[jberryhill]

16. She hired God as campaign HR consultant already

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/05/michele_bachmann_wants_god_to.html

[tomm2thumbs]

15. hilarious... perhaps one was hearing the echo of the Lord asking the other one

[jberryhill]

17. Makes sense - the only things they hear are echoes in the emptiness of their own heads

To them, a brainstorm is like a single drop of rain on a cloudless day.

[treestar]

36. +1

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Keith Bee]

19. Think of it as cockfighting

Only, instead of two roosters, you have two humans with the IQ of roosters.

[demgrrrll]

21. He wants President Obama to win

[The Wielding Truth]

23. Best answer.

[RichGirl]

46. Exactly....

God is telling them to run...thus splitting the ticket. Big win for Obama.

[davidpdx]

22. I didn't see the quote where Bachmann said God told her to run

But I did see the one where Santorum's wife said that. I posted that one on my Facebook page with a nice rant about the religious right being the American Taliban.

[jberryhill]

47. Here ya go...

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/05/michele_bachmann_wants_god_to.html

[Jester Messiah]

24. Apparently the lord loves a trainwreck. [nt]

[liberalla]

26. God is bipolar.

You'll get different information at different times... he's working on getting his meds adjusted just right.

[sakabatou]

27. He wants to see a trainwreck

[Monk06]

28. Apparently God isn't listening to KKKarl Rove. Imagine Caribou Barbie, Bachman and Santorum

Make KKKarl sound reasonable.

How FUCKED UP is that????

[quaker bill]

29. Perhaps because God wants to give both

a lesson in humility.

[RichGirl]

30. It's very obvious! It's proof that God is on our side.

God is telling them to run because he knows they are crazy (he still loves them) and will insure an Obama win!!

Notice, God hasn't told Pawlenty or Romney to run....

[tallahasseedem]

32. Recommended ...

for making me laugh my ass off with the topic line.

To answer your question, I have no damn idea. I guess it's kind of up there with, "Why does God allow people's homes to be mowed down by tornadoes/"

[KittyWampus]

33. it's a test sent by God. Whichever candidate prays hardest wins.

[treestar]

35. Strangely, why don't both B and S admit God made Obama President?

Have they done all Obama has asked since he took office? It must be obvious to both B and S that God intended Obama to be the President THIS term. It's funny how God controls everything until it's not what they want, then they ignore God's actions.

As for God telling them to run, and being willing to speak for God like anyone else can, it is that God likes a good laugh and He can't wait to hear just how extreme B and S would go in opposition to each other. The crazy vs. the crazy has to result in even more insanity.

[Kahuna]

37. Because God wants Obama to win. nt

[southernyankeebelle]

39. Just like Palin they forgot the GOD chose Obama for president. He picked wisely.

[ladywnch]

40. "Seeing which one floats?"... well, turds do float ya know. n/t

[crazylikafox]

42. Because God wants to split the crazy vote.

And the real Christian, Obama, gets elected.

[lunatica]

44. Debate question: "How many of you did God tell to run for President?"

[jberryhill]

45. That would be epic

[The Wizard]

48. Did they both get

a permission slip from Zeus?

[liberalhistorian]

49. Because he needs the comic relief

from the never-ending comedic stupid show those two would provide?

[w8liftinglady]

50. God wants President Obama to serve another term... and,yes- dunk them in stool

[fishwax]

51. b/c got wants them both to be soundly defeated -- if not in the primary than in the general

:)

[TxVietVet]

53. The dunking stool.

See if their god rescues them. :evilgrin:

[verges]

55. God obviously wants the Dems to win

by confusing and splitting the Repubs!

[AngryAmish]

57. Do I want to dunk them in stool? Yes.

[Vidar]

58. God is apparently confused.

[NICO9000]

59. Why does God hate America?

On the other hand, why do Bachmann and Santorum hate Jesus so much to twist his words so horribly?

[Jakes Progress]

60. So they can split the idiot vote and Obama can win.

[PatSeg]

61. Is that the same god

who told GW to run for president? Of course, in that case God didn't think Bush had a chance in hell of winning. He was just messin' with the guy like he/she is with Bachmann and Santorum.

[Autumn]

63. God wants to see them in a celebrity death cage match.

I agree with God on this.:thumbsup:

[Avant Guardian]

65. Because GOD is tired of watching Jerry Springer reruns

[Arkansas Granny]

66. What does God know. According to GWB, he ran because God wanted him to.