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NanceGreggs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 08:52 PM
Original message
A Man, a Tan - and NO Plan
Edited on Sun Feb-14-10 08:57 PM by NanceGreggs
You know the guy I mean John Boehner (R-AE Republican Asshat Extraordinaire).

It seems that Mr. Boehner is whining, yet again, about the lack of real bipartisanship being offered by President Obama and the Democrats.

One cant ignore the irony. Mr. Boehner wouldnt recognize bipartisanship if it came up behind him on the street, and took a bite out of the tan line on his flabby white ass.

States Mr. Boehner re the upcoming Health Care Summit: We now know that instead of starting the 'bipartisan' health care 'summit' on Feb. 25 with a clean sheet of paper, the president and his party intend to arrive with a new bill written behind closed doors exclusively by Democrats -- a backroom deal that will transform one-sixth of our nation's economy and affect every family and small business in America.

Imagine that! Mr. Boehner is concerned about a deal that will affect our economy, along with families and small businesses in America. One wonders where his concern for our economy was when his Partys president was in power, and initiated two wars on the lay-away plan. Hey, wage war now and you pay nothing, we repeat nothing, until the chickenhawks come home to roost and your country finds itself in unfathomable debt! Please ACT NOW and accept an ample supply of depleted uranium as our special gift!

Mr. Boehner (who, according to well-sourced rumors, has a Ph.D. in WhineMeistering) insists that A productive bipartisan discussion should begin with a clean sheet of paper.

Oh, wouldnt it be loverly if we could all, as a nation, start with a clean sheet of paper. I couldnt agree more. Imagine if we could all just go back in time, and start with a clean sheet of paper that wasnt smeared with the blood of innocent Iraqi civilians who have perished in a war based on lies, the blood of our military casualties, the blood of the tortured at Abu Ghraib and Gitmo. Imagine a clean page that wasnt covered in the red ink Mr. Boehner and his party members enthusiastically supported in the name of patriotism bipartisanship, or the good of a nation, be damned.

They will then engage a largely handpicked audience in a televised 'dialogue' according to a script they have largely pre-determined. They will do this as a precursor to embarking on a legislative course that Democratic congressional aides acknowledge has also been pre-determined -- a partisan course that relies on parliamentary tricks to circumvent the will of the American people and engineer a pre-determined outcome. It doesn't sound much like bipartisanship to me."

Im sorry (well, not really) to break it to Mr. Boehner, but the citizenry is able to read between the lines. What they're really worried about here is the GOP having their collective asses kicked yet again in a televised event thereby enabling the nation at large to get a firsthand glimpse at how inane, ill-prepared, and downright stupid the current crop of elected Republican representatives really are.

In addition just to state the bleedin obvious Mr. Boehner might want to steer clear of the predetermined bullshit, now that we all know that Bush and his misadministration had pre-determined the invasion of Iraq long before the facts were known (as though facts mattered).

It is especially rich to be lectured about hand-picked audiences by a man whose cohorts unquestioningly supported a president who never appeared before an audience that wasnt carefully screened and hand-picked and if enough of them didnt show up, there was always the option of photoshopping crowds for general media consumption.

Perhaps Mr. Boehners real problem stems from inexperience in dealing with a president who is not a pretzel-choking, heh-hehing, plastic turkey-serving, Pet Goat-reading, seguey-crashing, Herkel-massaging, English-mangling, drunk whose only real talent was smirking like an idiot, while people like Boehner praised his frat-boy antics and while the rest of the country, and the world, cringed in embarrassment.

Perhaps the real Boehner-of-contention is the fact that a president who actually works for a living, instead of spending only as much time in the Oval Office as it takes to announce his next vacation, is beyond the ken of Republicans who have brush-clearing* of their own to attend to (*a phrase meant to encompass a vast number of things, including but not limited to handing out no-bid contracts to war-profiteering corporations one has a large shareholding in to supporting every bill that is against the interests of the average, hard-working taxpayer), and fail to understand why such a worthy endeavor isnt recognized as a valuable contribution to the countrys best interests.

Or perhaps it is just a piss-your-pants fear that an already dwindling party membership might be noticed by the populace even more of whom could, at any moment, wake up and start asking some very embarrassing questions.

Of course, one cannot deny that the response by Mr. Boehner and his ilk to the Bush years was swift and circumspect. They did, after all, offer up a correct-the-course, cure-all-ills ticket in 2008: comprised of a senile old hypocrite and a clueless idiot. So much for The Plan to extract the nation from the shitpile left by the last Republican administration more of the same, perchance with a new, improved Mission Accompished! banner strung over an aircraft carrier while more US-flag draped caskets were delivered in the dead of night, hidden from the view of people whose comments were being recorded via illegal wiretaps.

Yes, a clean page would be nice, Mr. Boehner a page that didnt include photos of citizens drowning in NOLA while your partys president partied; a page that didnt contain the names of veterans who served their country and find themselves homeless. A page that didnt include the citizens who have died, or are about to die, due to insurance company malfeasance that you think should be put on hold while you play the wheres the bipartisanship? game, hoping against hope that you can stall the inevitable tide of anger, frustration, and weve had enough outcries from those who have had enough of your partys obstruction to progress and true reform.

I would just like to add two things, by way of a personal note to Mr. Boehner:

First, you might consider that your arrogance and complete ineptitude is a result of too many hours in the tanning salon. So turn yourself over, sir youre done.

Second, please stop reminding people that your name is pronounced Bonner we all know a boner when we see one.
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annabanana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 09:00 PM
Response to Original message
1. Bingo, Nance my dear. . spot on. . n/t
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 09:03 PM
Response to Original message
2. Bleedin' perfect, my dear Nance!
And this is the perfect summary: So turn yourself over, sir youre done.

Proud to K&R!

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JNelson6563 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 09:04 PM
Response to Original message
3. that was fun!
well put Nance.

Julie
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Cha Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 09:08 PM
Response to Original message
4. My question is ..does President Obama have any
worthy adversaries who aren't accusing him of falsehoods?

Thanks Nance for your humorous take on the ugliness of the minority leader in the Senate.
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rasputin1952 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 09:09 PM
Response to Original message
5. That's not a tan...it's rust...
:D
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lob1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 09:15 PM
Response to Original message
6. We agree. A dick is a dick and a Boehner is a boner.
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ChicagoSuz219 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 09:20 PM
Response to Original message
7. If this were posted on HuffPost...
...I'd fan you! :-)
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JeffR Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 09:21 PM
Response to Original message
8. K & R!
Poor orange bastard never had a chance.

:rofl:

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abq e streeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 09:22 PM
Response to Original message
9. Another great one--these a-holes need to be called out frquently and forcefully
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live love laugh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 09:25 PM
Response to Original message
10. Rec for the title alone. LOL nt
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madinmaryland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 09:29 PM
Response to Original message
11. "Herkel-massaging" Herk-on??
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Atticus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 10:12 PM
Response to Original message
12. Wiki agrees with you regarding the pronunciation of his name.
If another double entendre wouldn't exceed the limit, Boehner is a poster boy for "the Peter Principle". Wikipedia explains that phenomenon as follows: "In a Hierarchy Every Employee Tends to Rise to His Level of Incompetence."

Unfortunately for Mr. Boehner---and America---he rose above his level of incompetence when he was elected Trustee of Union Township in Butler County, Ohio.

P.S.---glad you're posting again.
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demtenjeep Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 10:17 PM
Response to Original message
13. well said
thank you
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JimWis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 11:07 PM
Response to Original message
14. K&R
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FrenchieCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 11:17 PM
Response to Original message
15. Happy "V" Nance! He drinks.....
and half of the time doesn't know diddley squat.
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ladym55 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 11:11 PM
Response to Reply #15
49. You are so generous!
John BOehner not knowing "diddley squat" is probably 99.9% of the time!!! (Just sayin')
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DesertFlower Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 11:23 PM
Response to Original message
16. the title says it all. nt
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The Wizard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 11:27 PM
Response to Original message
17. Didn't like Boner
from the first time I heard him. There's something really sleazy about him. And he's embarrassed by the pronunciation of his name. There's no letter A in his name. He's a boner, and a dumb one at that.
John Boner (R. Oompah Loompah) The skin tone is a dead giveaway. The moran right behind him in leadership, Eric Cantor, isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer either. Did anyone expect anything better from a party led by Rash Limbaugh?
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 11:38 PM
Response to Original message
18. K&R
yep, Yep, Yep.
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tavalon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 11:49 PM
Response to Original message
19. They are so irony impaired!
Of course, our side isn't without a similar impairment but we lack the gall to trot it out so obviously.
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BrklynLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-14-10 11:51 PM
Response to Original message
20. :D
Edited on Sun Feb-14-10 11:53 PM by BrklynLiberal
Pure joy to read.....
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Sub Atomic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 12:31 AM
Response to Original message
21. Uh oh Nance, the Oompa Loompas are gonna be pissed you're going after one of them.
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Kyril Enko Donating Member (204 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 12:38 AM
Response to Original message
22. BipartisanSHIT!
The GOP has made it abundantly clear that they've zero interest in working with obama. On anything!
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DFW Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 01:01 AM
Response to Original message
23. Might this be the same Rep. Bonehead who swore to uphold a Constitution he never read?
The same Rep. Bonehead who went before the nation (with the entire House Republican leadership chanting in unison
behind him) angrily quoting from , and claiming it was the Constitution of the United States?

(It was, in fact, the Declaration of Independence, but when have facts ever gotten in the way of the Fox Party?)

Facts have not mattered to the Party of NO for a long time, now. There doesn't seem to be much prospect of them
changing tactics any time in the foreseeable future: negative, angry and wrong. I don't care if the Fox watchers
and the disciples of National Hate Radio cheer them on--they would cheer as our Ship of State went the way of the Titanic.
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Divine Discontent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 01:02 AM
Response to Original message
24. "turn yourself over, sir - you're done" - HAHAHA! Their sheer incompetence guarantees that we'll
have majorities after November. I watch them talk and I think - "seriously, someone backs these ignorant fools?!"


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, NG!

:hug:
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JTFrog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 06:15 AM
Response to Original message
25. K&R
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JCMach1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 06:34 AM
Response to Original message
26. Someone need to make a FAKE TAN ad about this guy
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babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 07:08 AM
Response to Original message
27. Love, love, love this! Couldn't have been written
about a more hypocritical guy. Thank you, Nance! :toast:
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secondwind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 07:23 AM
Response to Original message
28. Repeat after me: "Off to the Greatest Page with you!" K&R
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ellaydubya Donating Member (301 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 08:04 AM
Response to Original message
29. My first read of the morning!!
Thanks, NanceGreggs!! I am now fired up and ready to go!!!
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RoccoR5955 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 08:29 AM
Response to Original message
30. It's phonetic spelling IS Boner!
So that's how I have always pronounced it!
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AlbertCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 08:50 AM
Response to Original message
31. Doncha love how Boehner always looks so very very serious?
Edited on Mon Feb-15-10 08:52 AM by AlbertCat
He's soooo focused and in the important moment.

But alas, it just looks fake thru the spray tan and the same old whines that have no merit and accomplish nothing. Everyone already knows what the Repugs are going to say ... "NO!"... and going to do... obstruct. We all already know this. Surprise us! Act! DO SOMETHING! Like get out of the way.

It's up to Repugs to prove they want to participate in this government, not the Dems.
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TheCowsCameHome Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 08:53 AM
Response to Original message
32. He was half-baked before, but Nance gives him a good roasting.
Cranked up the heat on this "boner"
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Technodaoist Donating Member (138 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 09:04 AM
Response to Original message
33. Bonner?

Everyone here in Ohio calls him BAY-ner... If they bother to use his name.

"It's spelt Smith, but it's pronounced "Throat Wobbler Mangrove"
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madmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 10:17 AM
Response to Reply #33
37. Not everyone...... Besides weren't you taught in school...
Edited on Mon Feb-15-10 10:18 AM by madmom
when two vowels go walking the first one does the talking...thus bOner.



edited to add...Good Job Nance!! :toast:
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Highway61 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 09:34 AM
Response to Original message
34. A big K & R
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paparush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 09:59 AM
Response to Original message
35. Its a Trap!
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DisgustedInMN Donating Member (956 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 10:17 AM
Response to Original message
36. You...
:yourock:
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rhett o rick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 10:25 AM
Response to Original message
38. rec. Thom Hartmann says that until Booooner learns to pronounce Democratic Party,
he (Thom) wont worry about mispronouncing Boehner.
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solara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 10:56 AM
Response to Original message
39. Ohh yeahhhhh...
:patriot:

You are so spot on.


:kick:
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Phx_Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 10:58 AM
Response to Original message
40. She must be talking about Boner.
That was the first thing to pop into my mind. Who else?

:rofl:

Nice job, as usual Nance.
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Turbineguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 01:28 PM
Response to Original message
41. Ah...... That felt good!
And I was only reading it!
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bvar22 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 01:29 PM
Response to Original message
42. UNTIL....
..a viable Public Option "like Medicare" is incorporated INTO this Health Care Reform Bill,
The Boner is essentially CORRECT (though for the wrong reasons):
The WILL of the American People IS being circumvented.

LESS than 35% of the American People support Mandates without a Public Option.

* Would you favor or oppose the national government offering everyone the choice of a government administered health insurance plan something like the Medicare coverage that people 65 and older get that would compete with private health insurance plans?

Favor 82%

Oppose 14%

Not Sure 4%
http://www.ourfuture.org/blog-entry/2010010320/poll-sho...


If there in no Public Option, there is no reform.

"When given the choice between a Republican, and a Democrat who acts like a Republican, the voters will choose the Republican every time." ---Harry Truman

QED Massachusetts

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inna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #42
48. Exactly. Thank you, Bvar22, as always.

-1 to the OP. At this point, I just automatically unrec her screeds whenever I happen to see them.
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Cheap_Trick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 01:53 PM
Response to Original message
43. Proud to be rec #100
Damn, I would love to smack Boehner in his arrogant orange face....but shit splatters.
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PJPhreak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 01:59 PM
Response to Original message
44. Love It!
Could not have said this any better!

"Perhaps Mr. Boehners real problem stems from inexperience in dealing with a president who is not a pretzel-choking, heh-hehing, plastic turkey-serving, Pet Goat-reading, seguey-crashing, Herkel-massaging, English-mangling, drunk whose only real talent was smirking like an idiot, while people like Boehner praised his frat-boy antics."
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LuckyLib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 02:04 PM
Response to Original message
45. We have had some great descriptions of Chimpy McFlightsuit here on DU, but yours
Edited on Mon Feb-15-10 02:04 PM by LuckyLib
may be the best: "pretzel-choking, heh-hehing, plastic turkey-serving, Pet Goat-reading, seguey-crashing, Herkel-massaging, English-mangling, drunk whose only real talent was smirking like an idiot" !!

:thumbsup:

Great rant!
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goclark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 02:10 PM
Response to Original message
46. Tell it like it is Nancy!
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winyanstaz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 02:25 PM
Response to Original message
47. K & R
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ladym55 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-15-10 11:18 PM
Response to Original message
50. The BOehner ...
is a color NOT found in nature ...

the slurred speech is the result of WAY too many Rob Roys for breakfast ....

Why does no one talk about BOehner's extremely lavish life-style funded by his "fund-raising" for the RNC?? Life is good for the BOehner. It pays to be a bright orange drunk, I guess. :shrug:

And, yes, when two vowels go walking, the first does the talking.
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DFW Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Feb-16-10 06:10 PM
Response to Original message
51. In case you're wondering why he always has that scowl:
He always sucks

(on these, I mean :)

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