Open mine first. It's a can of whoopass in just your size.

[WingDinger]

Obama has been dropping hints for two years now. never mind that sweater, those mittens. What he wanted was a shove to the left. While I'm sure he envisioned riding sidesaddle on an ass into Jerusalem, my present was a little louder, more rambunctious. When I saw he was going to give the bad little boys nutcrackers, and us good little boys lumps of coal, I ordered a can of whoopass from QVC. A little risky, given there is no return policy. But it is the gift that keeps on giving. No, batteries are not included. It takes Double D political capital to operate. And although he will do much of the heavy lifting, some freedom of assembly is required. There will be no hymns sung. No martial law midnite clear. We have heard the Republican slaybells. Bring it on. And our Santa is skinny, so as to scoot down the chimney with ease. I can hardly wait to see the reaction of the bad little boys to us holiday treehuggers. While it looks to them as we are screaming for bigger presents, in reality, we are insisting that this is family time. It is nice to bring a wayward soul in from the cold, Santa's place is home. There is surely a new year acomin', but that will be easier to handle, with a few family squabbles under our belts, just as always. Should the bad little boys again try to steal our abundance, there just might be a nuclear winter option.