Bush names Wolfowitz president of al-Qaeda

[dave_p]

From The Borowitz Report, May 23

In a bold move to undermine the international terror network, President George W. Bush today named former deputy defense secretary and World Bank president Paul Wolfowitz to be the new president of al-Qaeda.

President Bush indicated that Mr. Wolfowitz's role in planning the war in Iraq and bringing scandal to the World Bank showed that he was "just the man" to bring chaos and disorder to al-Qaeda.

"I've seen Paul Wolfowitz in action," said Mr. Bush, a beaming Mr. Wolfowitz at his side. "If anyone can mess up al-Qaeda, it's this guy."

Several key details in the president's plan still need to be worked out, such as how exactly Mr. Wolfowitz will infiltrate al-Qaeda and rise to the top position in its ranks.

"Al-Qaeda closely screens all of its top officers," said Hassan El-Medfaii, head of the terror network's human resources department. "It's not like the Defense Department or the World Bank."

[Captain Hilts]

1. Great! Wolfowitz could run Al-Q into the ground. Excellent! nt