Glenn BecKKK Thinks Evolution Is Ridiculous, But He Does Believe God Lives On A Planet Named Kolob

[Turborama]

“I don’t think we came from monkeys. I think that’s ridiculous. I haven’t seen a half-monkey, half-person yet.”

- - GLENN BECK, who believes that God lives on a planet named Kolob with multiple celestial wives.

From http://anglophonic.tumblr.com/post/1386045667/i-dont-think-we-came-from-monkeys-i-think">anglophonic via http://tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/10/glenn-beck-evolution-is-ridiculous----i-havent-seen-a-half-monkey-half-person-yet.php">Talking Points Memo


(Disclaimer I didn't post this to mock his religion, just him and the crap he spews out of his mouth hole)

[aquart]

1. Did they have evolution on Kolob?

[Turborama]

2. Good question. Its Wikipedia page doesn't say anything about that. However...

...it does have something about the part Kolob apparently played in the creation of earth.

Birthplace for the earth

According to several Mormon writers, the earth was created near Kolob over a period of 6000 years (six "days" in Kolob time), and then flung to its present solar system after the fall of Adam. This theory is based on oral comments attributed to Joseph Smith, Jr. The theory is also based on a passage from the Book of Abraham stating that in the Garden of Eden, time was measured "after the Lord's time, which was after the time of Kolob; for as yet the Gods had not appointed to Adam his reckoning". According to the theory, the reason that Earth time was measured in Kolob time was because the earth was physically located near Kolob. As a corollary, some Mormon writers argue that at the end times, the earth will be plucked from the solar system and returned to its original orbit near Kolob.

Using traditional creationist reasoning, influential LDS theologian Bruce R. McConkie came to a different conclusion, arguing that during the first "day" of creation (not necessarily a 1000-year "day" in Kolob time; it could have been any length of time), the earth was formed and placed in orbit around the sun.

The idea that the earth was formed elsewhere and then migrated to orbit around the sun differs from the scientific explanation of the earth's formation. According to scientific consensus, the earth formed in orbit around the sun about 4.5 billion years ago by accretion from a protoplanetary disk, and remained near its original orbit until the present.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kolob#Birthplace_for_the_earth

[aquart]

8. The lengths people will go to avoid admitting they were conned.

[Brewman_Jax]

3. He's wrong, as usual

it's Kobol, the home of the 12 Tribes. :P

[BurtWorm]

4. Now we know where his obsession with unintelligible charting comes from.

:crazy:

[Turborama]

7. Yeah, good point! I hadn't thought about it like that but you're right

He must be running around all day with a diagram of that end game in his mind.

[Lint Head]

5. I took an antihistamine and now the kolobs are gone.

I'm kolob free!

[safeinOhio]

6. Why do these people

think Darwin was wrong, except for when it comes to the rich and poor? They seem to think natural selection in nature is bunk, but in societies it is gospel.