what would you do about a situation like this...

[KurtNYC]

My neighbor downstairs is a grocery and they left their stereo on all night. I went down at 1am and pushed the door in, it was held only by one of those sliding latches like you have in a hotel room but the part that the latch goes into popped off and splintered part of the jam. I shut off the stereo, closed up and went to sleep.

next day i get a call from the police. 'did you enter?' yes ' was it to turn on the heat ? no, to shut off the stereo that they left on' Cop tells store owner it was me, ask him about stereo. Says I did breaking and entering. Back to me: 'ok he doesn't want to press charges. I understand your frustration but you can't enter, you should call us next time. ok so I will pay for the repair.

I go to the store owner and apologize and say I can pay for the repair, but he wants to lecture me. can't see why I would enter his store even with the stereo on. "It wasn't even loud." Yeah but with your ear on the bed and the bed on the floor that is all you hear. So he tells me he is getting a locksmith and it will $100 minimum and he is complaining to me about how much it costs even though I just said I would pay so I am feeling like something else is going on in his mind. I say 'hey send the guy up when he is done repairing bc I have a couple doors for him to look at and I will pay."

The locksmith comes and I talk to him while he works. He isn't repairing the damage, he is putting in a deadbolt, a nice one. Cutting a circular hole, drilling out the middle of the jam, setting the kick plate, etc. As friendly as I can I ask "so what kind of damage did I do?" he says "somebody broke in" I say 'yes, it was me. Are you repairing it ?' No I am putting in a deadbolt. 30 mins later he leaves, never comes up. Gives his bill to the shop.

Now I have a gut feeling about what is coming tomorrow bc I have dealt with this guy for a year (and others have warned me). He is going to say I owe him hundreds even though he has used this as an opportunity to significantly upgrade what was there and I only agreed to repairs. And if I hedge he is going to threaten to press the B&E charges.

What would you do ? pay it or fight ?

[kentuck]

1. I would pay it..

...and look for a new place to sleep.

[FreeState]

2. Pay it - thencall the cops on him every single time he's breaking the law n/t

[Orrex]

3. Pay it and consider yourself lucky.

You broke into his place of business, which AFAIC is the end of the story.

You say that the stereo was too loud? Okay. Was breaking-and-entering your only recourse? Did you have no way to contact him? Or an employee of the store? Could you have called the police, if only to lodge a formal complaint?

I'm sorry that he's engaging in repairs that you find to be in excess of the damage you caused, but it would make no sense for him to restore the entryway to its state of shoddy, half-assed security. If you'd busted through his hollow-core door to get to the stereo, he wouldn't replace it with another hollow-core; he'd go for a top-of-the-line steel-clad oak door, and you'd appropriately be on the hook for it.

And while you're at it, apologize for breaking in. Also, you should get some kind of written statement from him agreeing that the matter is settled (after you've paid for the repairs). That way, at least, he can't come after you in six months to claim that he still intends to come after you.


But whatever else you do, pay for the break-in.

[KurtNYC]

9. Thanks, and I did apologize

both through the police and in person. Thanks for well reasoned advice. I am just too close to this thing and I know it. I was over the line this time but he has been over the line in the past so I feel pushed around but I know I have to bury this and move on. I can have my lawyer draft a hold harmless or whatever is appropriate.

[Orrex]

14. You're welcome, and you seem to be taking away the most important part.

I can have my lawyer draft a hold harmless or whatever is appropriate.

This can only be a benefit to you, especially considering your neighbor's general demeanor. It will save you from future civil bullshit and from "on second thought" criminal charges.

Sure, you'd very likely prevail even if he did take you to court, but it would be a (potentially quite costly) pain in the ass.


By the way--what music is he playing tonight?

[KurtNYC]

18. no music tonight but the thermostat for my floor and his is in the shop also

so no heat for me. The fridge cases keep it too warm for the heat to turn on. That is why the cops asked about me trying to turn on my own heat bc the store owner knows I want it on. I say stereo off, heat on. I get stereo on, heat off.

The shop is upscale and they play about 3 CDs over and over. what I hear most is "The Girl from Ipanema" -- about once an hour it seems. That and a bunch of similar swanky jazz bc apparently that is what people like to listen to while they over-pay for stuff (pork sausage is $12/pound, cheese is $20 and up).

[valerief]

4. Why didn't you call the police in the first place? Didn't you know you were breaking the law?

That's what baffles me.

[KurtNYC]

10. I was dead tired and pissed off. Working 12 hour days.

Not the best state of mind for decisions. It is not the first time he has left the stereo on. And there are only one or two cops on duty over night here so it could take hours.

Would do differently if I had it to do over.

[valerief]

17. I do sympathize. I've been kept up nights by neighbors teevees and stereos.

I hate them.

[azurnoir]

5. He's runs a grocery? oh the nasty things you could do

Is the grocery clean, are all of the items with freshness, does he sell fresh meat or veggi's ? You could make the board of health his lunch date for the next month of course he could evict you

[KurtNYC]

12. he is not the landlord (thank god), moved in after me and took my flag

and lied about it his first day here. had his contractors start at 5am 10 days in a row. that was our start.

[azurnoir]

20. Oye sorry I thought he was the landlord

he's a nasty neighbor, pay the bill and get a receipt, and yes he is definitely taking advantage
next time call the cops

[riderinthestorm]

6. Tell him you'll pay your portion of the repair bill

and if he argues, tell him you'll pay it all but you'll also make sure the patrons of his grocery store know about the roaches at his place infesting his goods if he makes a stink about your fair share. Tell him you'll sit outside every night when you get home from work and actively discourage his patrons from shopping there, warning them off about the "roaches".

And make plans to get the hell out asap.

You're between a rock and a hard place. At least the cops already know the story. Use your leverage as the resident of that place (if you can) to ensure you only pay your fair share for this episode but above all, you need to make plans to get out now. Borrow dead roaches from friends and place them. Get live ones from the pet store. But find a way to break the lease and get out. You are headed for a world of hurt in persisting to live there. The owner is going to accuse you of stealing next. Be very careful and get out.

Hugs (and I'm a former landlord AND renter so I've been on both sides of this fence).

[quinnox]

7. I would pay the bill as long as it was reasonable

I wonder how they knew it was you that entered the shop in the first place. In the middle of the night it could have been anyone busting that door down but they came to you first, that is curious in itself.

Next time call the police and complain about the noise level, that was inconsiderate of the shop owner to leave the stereo on. And have some earplugs handy just in case the guy doesn't show up until morning to shut his stereo off if the police won't help you.

[KurtNYC]

13. this is a door that is inside the building

which is why the mechanism is flimsy. this is small town and we are right next to the police station. I almost never lock my doors here.

Found out his stereo is on a timer and the timer was messed up. but that means his stereo goes on even when he is closed for the day. Ugh. Lived with millions in NYC and never had a problem like this.

[ZombieHorde]

8. I am not a lawyer, but this situation sounds like he has you by your privates.

I would be pissed off, but I would pay if I could.

What I wouldn't do is wait a few months and then put a small dab of Super Glue in his new lock, but the thought would cross my mind.

[KurtNYC]

15. me neither but it sounds like extortion (threat + demand for money)

which is a felony as compared to B&E without criminal intent which is a misdemeanor.

all the same I will pay unless he goes for the sky on this. not worth a fight.

[Lars39]

11. Get a copy of the bill. Get a receipt when you pay the whole bill.

It's still going to be cheaper than a good lawyer.

[KurtNYC]

16. I think you're right

and I like the advice up thread in #3 -- get in writing that the payment ends this.

[Zax2me]

19. You live there. Make nice.

Pay and don't complain. So you can enjoy the life you work for and deserve.
Consider moving if your efforts are ignored or not returned.
Don't wait long for things to smooth over. If they do, great! If not - life is too short. Get out.

[proteus_lives]

21. Pay and let it go.

He's a prick but you did break and enter.

[ChoppinBroccoli]

22. Legally, You're Only REQUIRED To "Make Him Whole" Again

Meaning, you have to put him back into the position he was in BEFORE you damaged his property. I've always found that when situations arise that I don't quite understand, it's usually helpful to change the facts to something that I DO understand, so think of it this way. Instead of a door and a lock, let's assume it was the guy's car. If he was driving around in a Dodge Dart, and you put a ding in his door, he couldn't go out and buy a brand new BMW and hand you the bill. It doesn't work that way.

So, legally, you are ONLY on the hook for the damage to the door jamb and the cost of a new latch (or whatever the going rate for one of those latches is). The guy can't use this as an excuse to install an entire new, high-tech security system. He can't even replace a 25-cent latch with a $100.00 deadbolt. Oh, he can do it, but you're only responsible to pay him the 25 cents the latch was worth.

In a practical sense, you have to live near this guy and interact with him regularly. If it's in your nature to be a "good neighbor," and you have the wherewithal to do it, maybe you do him a solid this time around in the interest of fostering good relations (he did, after all, spare you the hassle of prosecuting you for a felony--because that's what Breaking & Entering is).

Do whatever makes your conscience feel at ease, but just know that LEGALLY, you're only required to make him whole again. And if it helps your decision at all, I could probably come up with a pretty good defense for you if you were charged with the B&E (because most States' B&E statutes include language that says you can't enter into the property of another, "...with the intention of committing a theft offense therein." If your State has this language, I think you beat that charge (but they'll still be able to get you for SOMETHING--vandalism and trespassing, for example, but those aren't felonies). Also, I would almost certainly bring up the fact that the guy refused to press charges against you initially, and then changed his mind when you got into a dispute over money, as a part of your defense. Again, it's not a complete defense to the charges, but it IS another bullet for you to shoot. So you're not totally without a leg to stand on should this guy decide to press charges after all. Just something to think about while making your decision.

[KurtNYC]

23. thanks for all of that

I am paying for his deadbolt since that is part of what it will take for him to have some peace of mind and it will avoid dragging this out. I would feel violated if he came into my residence while I was not here, even if it was just to turn my stereo off. I was under the impression that B&E without criminal action or intent is a misdemeanor (and my tired and angry mind made the decision to risk that in order to get some sleep that night but never again).

I appreciate the thought and time that went into your answer and I am factoring the information that you provided into my actions.