••• Good news, earthlings! The GOP sales tax is just what you need!!! •••

breadandwine

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Sun Sep-26-10 06:33 AM
Original message

••• Good news, earthlings! The GOP sales tax is just what you need!!! •••

Remember how there was a British tax on TEA that played such an important role in the American Revolution?

You DO remember that, yes?

Well, now, many Republicans have signed a pledge to support what they call the FAIR TAX, a SALES tax that is FAIR because it takes the same percentage from everybody regardless of whether they are rich or poor.

Here's how it works. Say you're poor. You can't save. So all your income gets spent and it's all taxed at the checkout counter.

But the RICH have vastly more income than they can spend. (Of course the sales tax does NOT include a tax on stock purchases…)

So only a tiny fraction of the income of the rich winds up getting taxed at the checkout counter.

Now, if you are a subhuman Democrat, this may sound unfair to you. But if, sooner or later, when you get rich, SOMEDAY, you'll be GLAD you got stiffed on the way up!!!!!!!!

Then, ha-haaaaaaah! You'll REALLY make money!

And THINK of it. All those complicated IRS forms you won't have to fill out ever again! Instead, you'll just lose your shirt, won't have money to buy things, consumer spending will collapse, the economy will tank because nobody has any money to buy what the rich make, and THEN, when YOU get rich, YOU can SH*T on all the non-rich the same way!

Now, what exactly does the FAIR TAX, the sales tax, actually entail?

Just one little itty bitty taxipooh. The sales tax.

Like this:

First of all, the TEA TAX. Yup. Can't have a sales tax without adding a tax on tea, now can we? That's because the Tea Party LOVES YOU.

What else?

Tax on sugar.
Tax on spaghetti.
Tax on macaroni.
Tax on linguine.
Tax on spinach.
Tax on Brussels sprouts. You didn't like them anyway.
Tax on corn.
Tax on peas.

Tax on broccoli. Bush the 1st didn't like broccoli and it's environmentally green so who cares?

Tax on kale.
Tax on potatoes.
Tax on apples.
Tax on pears.

Tax on avocados. But so what. They come from a foreign country called California.

Tax on lettuce.
Tax on tomatoes.

Tax on peanuts. See? This tax isn't going to cost you peanuts.

Tax on milk.
Tax on cottage cheese.

Tax on yogurt. That's only for liberals ANYWAY.

Tax on Tofu. WHAT are you, a foreigner?

Tax on restaurant food. But if the restaurant had to buy some ingredients retail, you're going to get taxed on all that twice. Isn't the sales tax WONDERFUL?

Tax on beef.
Tax on chicken.

I'm your landlord. I better not smell chicken around your apartment. That's MY money you're spending. Stick to potatoes or I'll raise your rent!

Tax on soda. If it tastes good you don't have a right to drink it ANYWAY until you become rich.

Tax on bathroom tissue. Better stick to the generic brand. Charmin's too soft for you until you become rich.

The sales tax. Just one harmless itty bitty little taxipooh!

Tax, tax, tax, tax, tax.

Tax on electronics. We were planning to get rid of the internet ANYWAY, so stuff it!

Tax on hardware supplies and lumber. If you have enough money to do renovations and head down to Home Depot you need to be giving that money to the RICH. Do-it-yourself renovations take money away from real estate developers so take the sales tax and LIKE it.

Tax on office supplies. Only rich people are allowed to run companies, offices and stores. Your store needs to go out of business, buddy, so my store chain can take over.

Tax on school supplies. Child labor laws are SO FIVE MINUTES AGO. Tell your child to go out and get a job! I need cheap labor.

Tax on computer supplies. It's back to mainframes, buddy. Who told you that little people were allowed to have their own desk computers?

All these taxes are ON TOP OF whatever local sales taxes you already pay. This is a NATIONAL sales tax, BEING as how we Republicans don't like the Federal Government!

Tax on clothing. Who are YOU? Paris Hilton? Put on some rags you picked up at the odd lot store, shut up and stop complaining.

Tax on rent. What do YOU care? It's not as if this will cost your landlord any money. If this causes him any problem, he can just raise your rent.

Tax on pharmaceuticals and healthcare. BECAUSE we Republicans really care about your healthcare.

Tax on toothpaste. A few extra cavities won't hurt your smile. You weren't planning on running for office on the GOP line ANYWAY, so who cares?

Tax on dry cleaning. We all know who runs dry cleaners, NOW DON'T WE? Dry cleaners are for business suits. You need to forget about that, get down on your hands and knees and clean the floor like Cinderella.

THE SALES TAX IS GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!

Tax, tax, tax and MORE tax!

Tax on bridal fashions. Were you planning on getting MARRIED? You can't AFFORD a family! So what do YOU care?

The sales tax. Just one itty bitty little taxipooh!

Do me a favor. Post your own lists below of all the taxes covered under the sales tax little bitty taxipooh that you will be so PRIVELEGED to pay. You'll never have to fill out a tax form again! Aren't you LUCKY?

Support the - TEA - party.
VOTE REPUBLICAN!!!

Isn't the sales tax great?

Your thoughts, recs and kicks appreciated.