Jehovah's Witnesses Complain That Atheists Won't Keep Beliefs To Themselves

[WillParkinson]

Jehovah's Witnesses Complain That Atheists Won't Keep Beliefs To Themselves

"A new group of atheists has arisen in society. Called the new atheists, they are not content to keep their views to themselves. Rather, they are on a crusade, 'actively, angrily, passionately trying to persuade the religious to their point of view,' wrote columnist Richard Bernstein. Even agnostics are in their sights, for these new atheists allow no room for doubt." - The opening paragraph from the latest issue of Jehovah Witnesses' Awake Magazine. How's that for some hilarious hypocrisy?

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2010/09/jehovahs-witnesses-complain-that.html

[pipi_k]

1. Hah...they can't stand the competition....

:7

[mmonk]

2. The hypocrisy is stunning in its brashness.

[Fumesucker]

3. ...

[stevedeshazer]

4. I've never had atheists knocking on my door and handing out silly literature

written at a fifth-grade level.

[no limit]

5. ahahaha

[Hubert Flottz]

6. Why is it that my dog has never chased an Atheist off of my property

but he always scares the Jehovah's Witnesses away?

Could it be that my dog senses EVIL?

[distantearlywarning]

7. Love it! Best laugh of the day so far!

:rofl:

[msanthrope]

8. I know, I read the whole goddman thing, and I can't stop laughing....n/t

[Gold Metal Flake]

9. More war language from religious advocates.

[lonestarnot]

10. OMG

:rofl:

[TlalocW]

11. Of course these claims are made in a Jehovah Witness publication

"Atheism on the March," is code just like when non-JW religious conservatives say, "My religious freedoms are being trampled on."

The latter usually means something like, "We're not allowed to make children pray how we want them to in school."

The former probably means something like, "More doors than normal are being slammed in our faces."

TlalocW

[mopinko]

12. is there a link to donate?

if they can bump the witnesses off my damn porch, i would be do happy.

[raccoon]

13. I thought, this HAS to be from the Onion.... nt

[arbusto_baboso]

15. As did I. Truth is stranger than fiction.

And usually twice as fucked-up.

[slampoet]

14. Those damn Athiests showing up on my doorstep with nothing to say and no magazines to sell me.....

...

[pipi_k]

18. You're lucky you see actual people...

Whenever my doorbell rings, I open the door and there's nobody standing there...

[slackmaster]

16. Life imitates The Onion

:rofl:

I'm laughing so hard I can hardly breathe.

[pipi_k]

17. bwahahahaha....some of the comments....

Angry Snappy Black Queen!!!1one11 says:
Today, 9:44:49 AM
“I think this is the one my moms is keeping hidden from me as I'm one of these new atheist who won't STFU....

Although I don't consider myself an atheist as much as a 'I don't give a fuckist'




I like that one... "I-don't-give-a-fuckist"

:7



oh, and another...



Olive Yurdich says:
Today, 9:50:44 AM
“Why are there hamburger buns on the Fleet Enema banner ad at the top of the page?


*snort*....didn't see the ads. But that doesn't make this comment any less hilarious...

:rofl:

[qb]

19. Indeed... My discontent drove me to join the New Atheists!

Our mottos:
"Damn you, the religious, for BELIEVING!"
"Damn you, the agnostics, for DOUBTING!"
"Bless you, the NEW ATHEISTS, for KNOWING!"

Potluck crusade brunch meetings are the 3rd Saturday of the month at 10am.

(satire)

[LiberalFighter]

20. Imagine how many members we could entice to join with the following:

No tithing
No guilt
No church services, especially when they are held other than Sunday
No bibles, hymnals, crosses or other religious products to buy
No memorizing of the rites used in church services
No need to follow protocol in church
No need to be upset when there is a change in minister and the minister appears at odds with your beliefs
No need to worry about whether members approve of you
Less gossip

[dembotoz]

21. an evangelical atheist??????????????????

damn


just



damn

[HopeHoops]

22. Well THERE'S some fucking irony!

I'll be sure to mention that to the next pair of assholes in uncomfortable shoes who get past the dogs.

I was out weeding in NH about 20 years ago when a pair got out of the car in our court. All of the blinds on the other houses shut rather quickly. As I was the easy target, they headed for me. They asked if I wanted to talk about Jesus. I said "sure".

I continued to weed while explaining the Bible to them, including all of the seals that have already been opened and how connected to nature we are. It was pretty obvious that I knew the text way better than they did, but I also have a degree in Philosophy (as well as Mathematics). At one point, I was discussing the evils of mass agricultural poison and the benefits of organic gardening and how that's what God intended and pointed at my bean row to illustrate. I didn't realize it until I looked, but my finger was 1/4 inch away from a wasp at that point. That explained the shocked look on their faces.

After about 45 minutes of being lectured, and conspicuously dancing in their uncomfortable church shoes, they excused themselves and got back in the car and left. The neighbors all thanked me. The REAL irony is that I don't evangelize because I don't have a named faith. But if some fucker is going to try to push THEIR view of religion on me, I'll be happy to let them know what the text REALLY says.

[RainDog]

23. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

I love it.

I can't wait to see an atheist show up at my door with some pamphlet called "The Watchtower" with a picture of Jimi Hendrix on the front.

I'll shut the door in that person's face too.

[donheld]

24. OMFG

[RagAss]

25. I just laughed my atheist ass off !

[TexasObserver]

26. The irony of the term "religious toleration" is the religious tend not be tolerant.

Most adherents of most religions do not believe YOUR God is the right one, if it's not the one they embrace.

Atheists are the ones who have to be tolerant. They're the most disrespected, the most hated, and have the fewest rights.

If you want to see the ugliness of most religions, go to any church in America and say "I'm an atheist." Unless you're in a UU church, you're probably going to be thrown out, literally or figuratively.