When the last Republican has abandoned Beck, here's what his revenge will be

[DFW]

He'll get out his blackboard and say, "good evening kiddies! I have some disheartening news for you.
The Republican Party no longer wants me to sound off for them. It seems that even their crazies aren't
as loony as I am. Well, I am here tonight to tell you why. They won't like it. I have discovered something
they have been hiding from you for nearly thirty years.

"Do you know why Saddam Hussein of Iraq suddenly attacked Iran after the Ayatollahs took over? Do you know
why Saddam backed down so quickly in the first Gulf War, after setting fire to enough Kuwaiti oil wells to
raise the price of oil? Do you know why it was so easy for American forces to march into Iraq even though
it supposedly had fierce elite troops to throw against us? I'll tell you why. Look who Saddam's elite troops
were. THE REPUBLICAN GUARD!! Get it? They were a special military wing of the Republican Party! Republican
is Republican. They didn't even bother to disguise it! Of course the Republican Guard did the Republican
Party's bidding. They committed all sorts of atrocities during the war on Iran. They wilted like week-old
lettuce when American troops invaded Iraq in 2003. Why? They were told not to put up a fight! After all,
Dick Cheney wasn't going to have his own party's elite fight against the regular U.S. military, was he?
The REPUBLICAN Guard was infiltrated into Saddam's inner circle long ago. Remember that photo of Rumsfeld
shaking hands with Saddam in 1983 while St. Reagan was president? That was no accident! rummy was there to
inspect HIS OWN TROOPS!

"You can thank my crack historical investigative team from Beck University for uncovering this insidious
link. No one else even figured it out before, even though the Republican Guard never even bothered to
change their name. But now their cover is blown, boys and girls. From today on, the only thing they will
be guarding is access to electronic voting machines that will keep Republicans in office long after legitimate
vote counting would have tossed them out of office. After all, the Republican Guard is there to guard the interests
of Republicans! More craziness after this word from our last sponsor, Beck University T-shirts."


(Hey, you want batshit crazy? I'll give you batshit crazy!")

[Cary]

1. Ha!

Good one.

They can claim that National Socialists were socialists, so why not the Republican Guard being Republicans?

I have a hard time seeing the wingnuts ever being sober enough to throw Beck under the bus.

[DFW]

2. I suppose you're right

Sobriety doesn't guarantee sanity, either.......

[Cary]

3. No it doesn't.

But can one be drunk on Rush Limbaugh "conservative" ideology and be sane? I don't see how.

[DFW]

4. point well taken n/t