Stand up for Liam, stand against domestic violence

Bjorn Against

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Wed May-05-10 11:23 PM
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Stand up for Liam, stand against domestic violence

Back in March I wrote about my little hero Liam. Liam is only three months old right now but he has already inspired all of us that know him and he has reminded us that no matter how bad things seem we can never give up hope.

When Liam was only six weeks old his father got frustrated with his crying and broke both of his legs, cracked his ribs, shook him and sent him to the hospital with a severe brain injury. The doctors did not give Liam much of a chance, they said that if he survived he would likely be in a permanent vegetable state for the rest of his life and he almost certain to have severe disabilities.

As we looked at Liam lying in his hospital bed hooked up to all his machines we hoped for what we thought was the best possible outcome, we just hoped that Liam would wake up and be conscious of what was going on around him. All we wanted was for him to be awake and happy, even if he was going to be severely disabled we could live with that as long as he was able to enjoy life. We thought that even with the best possible outcome things were going to be very difficult, the doctors had little hope for him and they drained most of our hope away from us.

Liam was not about to give up however and right when everyone had thought that all hope was gone he showed us that he was an incredibly strong little guy. Four days after the incident Liam opened his eyes for the first time and over the next few days he made incredible progress and by the time the weekend was over you could not even tell anything was wrong with him any more. Liam proved all the doctors wrong and he reminded us that even our youngest and most vulnerable can show incredible strength and bravery.

After Liam's recovery we were all ecstatic, the severe trauma we had felt in the previous days gave way to an incredible sense of hope and opportunity. We knew that Liam was a very special little boy and we are determined to make sure that he is able to get a fresh start in life and ensure that he is raised so that he is able to overcome the abuse he suffered and become a great citizen.

The picture below was taken just last weekend, Liam is now a happy and healthy little baby ready to begin his new life. On June 1st both Liam and his mother will be moving into my home and I will become one of his primary caretakers. I have never lived with a baby before so I am really excited but also more than a bit scared, not only will I have to go through the normal challenges of raising a child but I will also have to deal with the trauma caused by domestic violence.

After Liam's recovery I was so happy that I almost forgot about just how traumatized I was those first few days after Liam was brought to the hospital. Now that initial sense of relief has worn off the memories of the violence are coming back and it is extremely stressful. Liam's father is out of jail at least until his next court date at the end of the month and while the chances of us having any encounters of him are pretty slim it is hard not to worry about it. He knows that both Liam and his mother are moving into my home and he really wants to see Liam again but he also knows that we won't allow him to. He also has had suspicions that I am in a relationship with Liam's mother which is not the case, but if he suspects it I am sure he is getting very upset about it whether it is true or not.

Being in this situation has really made me understand what it feels like to be in the shoes of a past victim of domestic violence. When someone who you thought you could trust commits an act of violence it is very difficult to know if you can ever trust them again. You want to believe that they just lost their minds temporarily and would never hurt anyone again, but you just don't know and it is very frightening.

I am not writing all of this to worry anybody, so please don't stay awake at night thinking that I am in danger because chances are that we won't be seeing Liam's father again and he will be sent off to prison after his next court hearing.

The reason I am writing this is that I want people to take a moment to think about the effects that domestic violence has on people and do what they can to stop it from happening. I learned the hard way that domestic violence has the potential to have the impact on the life of any of us. I am a single guy who has lived alone for the past few years, being harmed by domestic violence was not something that I was too worried about. When Liam was abused it felt like I was abused and now I realize that any one of us can be a victim of domestic violence.

Please, if you are in a relationship with someone who shows signs of being overly aggressive get out of that relationship before it is too late. If you know somebody who has been the victim of abuse do whatever you can to help them, and if you hear someone make offhand comments about how someone needs to be smacked make sure they know that you don't approve of that sentiment.

Domestic violence is a serious issue and if you have not been effected by it yourselves you probably know someone who has, you may not even know who they are because many victims don't speak about their experiences but you are likely very close to someone who was abused even if you don't realize it.

Please speak out to protect people like Liam, take a stand against violence.