I've been feeling guilty about being unemployed

[Juche]

This thread

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x8207197#8207227

Hit home how serious the psychological trauma of unemployment and the potential lack of self worth, independence, dignity, autonomy, hope & purpose that comes with it can be. I have heard several british people worry about the same thing we do, about the slipping away of their country as a decent, secure place to live with a future.

I'm unemployed, and I feel really ashamed by it. Not only that, but I feel guilty collecting unemployment insurance. I never felt guilty collecting subsidies for education though. When you add in all the K-12 plus state/federal funding for college I got, I received about 120k in education funding from the government (maybe 70k for K-12 and another 50k for college). I never felt guilty for that. Maybe I didn't consider that 'welfare'. But what the hell is wrong with us? Have right wing talking points seeped so deep into my subconscious that I believe them deep down inside and think I am just lazy?

This is the true nature of oppression. When you get people to oppress themselves, nobody else has to do it for them. A public that will spy on and punish themselves do not need an external oppressor. I try to remind myself, I didn't collapse the economy. Before this happened, I had a decent contract job, and there was an opening for a full time position at my old job. Then when the economy collapsed, the full time opening was eliminated before it was filled, and my contract was cut short. I was gainfully employed, paying taxes, I liked my job, I liked working there, and I lost it.

And even though I do feel shame and guilt, I realize the people who actually collapsed the economy do not feel any. In fact, they are gearing up to lobby to block legislation designed to stop their kinds of antics from happening again.

This is hard to explain, but the best metaphor is being a sexual assault victim. You descend so far into self hatred and shame that you lose contact with the fact that you didn't do anything wrong. Your assailant, who doesn't feel any guilt, did something wrong. And while you are at home beating yourself up, they are out doing it again and again.

I didn't destroy 8 million full time jobs, and destroy the equivalent of another 3 million by cutting full timers down to part time. Had that not happened, I'd still have a job. And even if my contract had expired, I'm sure I could've gotten another position far easier had this recession not happened. Add in the fact that we need to create 120k or so a month just to keep up, and add in the fact that no net jobs were created from 2000-2010, and we are fucked. We are probably 20-40 million jobs short in this country. In 2000 we had 280 million people and 132 million jobs. In 2010 we have 315 million people and 129 million jobs.

And it is weird processing all the emotions. I feel shame and guilt for being unemployed, but I also feel upset that I feel shame and guilt in the first place, since I didn't do anything wrong. The people who actually did something wrong are still out doing wrong things while I sit at home and feel bad about myself.

Or take unemployment insurance. If you give 10 million people $300 a week in unemployment aid, that is $3 billion a week, roughly $13 billion a month. That is roughly the cost of the war in Iraq. So the unemployment aid that helps millions live with slightly more security and dignity costs as much as the war in Iraq.

But

1. The war in Iraq hurts people. Nobody is really hurt by UI. People are helped by UI because it helps stop foreclosures, repos, starvation. Nobody develops traumatic injuries due to the unemployment assistance.

2. UI does far more to grow the economy than the Iraq war. I think a dollar devoted to UI and subsidies for the struggling creates 2x more GDP growth than a dollar devoted to military affairs. Military affairs overseas (vs domestic bases) probably see even lower GDP growth. I wouldn't be surprised if every dollar going to UI creates 3x more GDP growth than the war in Iraq.

So people badmouth unemployment insurance, but $300/wk to 10 million people is the same cost as the Iraq war. Not only that, but it does far more to grow the economy, it helps people rather than hurts them, and it is a far more humane way to spend $13 billion a month. Spending that money giving $300/wk to 10 million people is far better than an unnecessary war. And I still feel ashamed for collecting it.


I have all these contradictory emotions inside me. I feel ashamed for being unemployed, but angry because I realize it wasn't my fault (I liked my job before they let me go). And I feel angry for even being ashamed sometimes, I realize the people truly at fault don't feel any remorse about any of this.

How long is this sustainable (screwing those at the bottom, telling them to suck it up and blame themselves when they are fucked)? I am not perfect, but in the last few months I have felt myself go from ashamed to more angry. I still feel ashamed, but there is more anger in there now.

A lot of us have to adjust to having lower prospects for independence, autonomy and security that aren't going away any time soon. Things don't feel like they are getting better, and people will only erroneously blame themselves for so long.

Are people supposed to just pick up and go back to the way things were back in 2005 when this is all over? This seems like an event that could change our consciousness paradigm.

[SargeUNN]

1. I certainly understand

I have been unable to work more than a few hours a week for a couple decades. I am forced to live on a salary that is almost 9x below the poverty level, and try to do what I can to fight the good fight for what I believe in. It is embarrassing but appreciated that some of my listeners help me out and if not for them I think I would have committed suicide by now. Oh well, don't bellyache Sarge, their are many who are worse off than you is a statement I hear a lot and frankly I am about ready to slug the next person who says that to me in the mouth.

[RandomThoughts]

2. I disagree with this line.

A lot of us have to adjust to having lower prospects for independence, autonomy and security that aren't going away any time soon. Things don't feel like they are getting better, and people will only erroneously blame themselves for so long.

That is much of the intent of strife.

Personally I will not accept the security state, nor consolidation of wealth, and any other result is better.


The way to control a population is make them think there are two choices, the bad or the worse. In my view forget them, they can do what they want, but I don't accept their view of the world. Nor will I be part of it. If I have no say, at least I choose what I think, and they can not take that unless you give it to them. I am not nihilist, but I also do not accept that quote, not because nihilism would be better, but accepting such an idea is just another form of it.


Sorry for you unemployment, and feelings of your unemployment. I hope things work out in a way that makes you happy.

[DailyGrind51]

19. I believe the poster is referring to financial "security"?

[Better Today]

3. Logically I know it isn't my fault, but emotionally it's hell.

[KT2000]

4. It is a triple whammy

The worst part is that everyone looking for a job has to go through tremendous rejection - that is something that is really hard not to take personally. But please don't do that. Who gets hired is pretty arbitrary.
Don't feel guilty about the unemployment insurance. Nothing moves in this country these days unless it can be demonstrated in dollars. If there will be a push-back to the raiding of this country by corporations, holding companies and equity firms, it will come about when the dollars of unemployment startle the politicians into action.
Right now these entities are rewarded by tax cuts for their atrocious behavior so consolidation and off-shoring continues.
Think of your UI as a commentary on the state of affairs in this country - and it is the truth!

Good luck to you

[KT2000]

5. delete

[proudohioan]

6. I know how you feel.....

I, too have been feeling guilty, ashamed and worthless. I have been trying (mostly in vain) to convince myself that this economy is not my fault, and that in a normal economy, I would be considered a valuable, highly marketable and skilled person and could find a decent job that paid well over minimum wage.

What angers and hurts me the most is the fact that I am, for the first time in my adult life, not self-sufficient, and at age 48, I may never be self-sufficient again.

Yeah, and that just makes Big Pharma even richer; think of all the new prescriptions for anti-depressants that are being written as we speak..... glad SOMEONE is profiting in this economy!:sarcasm:

[Warpy]

7. You paid into that insurance by taking slightly lower wages

so now that you've been dumped out in the cold, you are collecting because that insurance is owed to you. Don't feel guilty about that part. I'm perfectly happy thinking that some of my taxes this year will be going to you. No problem, been there, done that, collected as long as I could.

As for the guilt and shame, yeah, been there too. If you pick up your mail after dark because you don't want to face anybody, it seems to be pretty normal. You're not weird. One bit of advice: do get dressed in the morning. Nothing is more depressing than spending a day in PJs and a bathrobe. Been there, too.

And yes, when the employment picture brightens, you'll be amazed by how quickly you get back into the workaday rut. I went through this in Nixon's unemployment, collected for almost a year and a half, and went back to work when things improved. I've always looked back on the unemployed time as one of my happiest. It's when I taught myself how to cook and make clothing and did all the free tourist stuff in town.

I just hope your situation turns around as quickly as mine did.

[B Calm]

11. Exactly! I was laid off for a period last year and this is the exact

mental frame you have to put yourself into. You did pay extra taxes when you were working for unemployment insurance, so don't feel guilty!

Good luck finding a new job. Things are looking better and I see a very bright future with democratic leadership. This election coming up is pivotal for this recovery. The last thing we need now is to go back to republicans screwing everything up.

Use your free time to get out the democratic voters!

[Towlie]

13. Exactly! Your work has to pay for ALL the expenses your employer incurs, plus a profit for him.

Every expense, including all (not just 50%) of your Social Security, retirement plan, Medicare, Workers’ Compensation, unemployment compensation, income tax, coffee in the lunch room, payroll accounting costs, and of course, your salary, is part of your employer's cost of employing you, and every bit of it has to be more than paid for by the work you do else there would be no point in employing you. In short, this is a lie:

4. How can I be overpaid? I paid into this fund for years so it’s my money.

Employees in Florida do not pay into the Unemployment Compensation Fund. There are no deductions made from your wages to finance this program. The program is entirely funded by the taxes paid and reimbursements by the employers in Florida.

[NNN0LHI]

8. I have been in this same situation several times during my working career before I retired

It was no fun but I made it. After living through the first recession or two it actually made me stronger.

You will be alright too.

Best of luck.

Don

[mikehiggins]

9. Was it your fault you lost your job? If not, screw 'em

Get every penny your are entitled to.

And if it was your fault? Ditto.

Most likely it wasn't. When Chemical Bank merged with Chase Manhattan a lot of really skilled and dedicated people lost their jobs because of redundancy. The amount of depression among those cut loose was horrific yet none of it was their fault. The merger was praised as a great thing. The thousands shown the door were just collateral damage.

The same pattern exists everywhere across the board.

Unless you are a total screw up losing your job is generally the result of things far beyond your control.

Feel guilty or depressed over being out of work? Been there, done that, realized it does not compute.

Keep looking for a job but expect to be rejected.

Illegitime non carborundum, or something like that.

[DumbBassRepublicans]

10. My best wishes to all...

who are unemployed and are seeking employment...
GOOD LUCK, AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL...!!
Yep.
Even, republicans..!!:grouphug:

[LiberalLoner]

12. Wishing blessings for you and all who are struggling now. n/t

[DavidDvorkin]

14. Understood. I know it's not my fault, and I'm trying very hard to find a new job, and yet

I keep feeling guilty that I don't have one yet.

It's getting close to one year, and I'm beginning to fear that I won't find one again. Age discrimination might be playing a part in my case, and there's nothing one can do about that.

[AnArmyVeteran]

15. I know it's hard...

So much self worth comes from one's contributions through their work and getting a pay check once a week. To add purpose to your life you can always volunteer to help others. Just by sharing your story her will help others who are going through the same thing you are because they won't feel as alone with their thoughts and feelings.

I guess one way to look at it is that being unemployed is better than working as a financial big shot on Wall Street. They are 'employed' and making millions or billions a year, but they harm others every time they 'go to work'. Being unemployed is almost noble compared to being employed at a corrupt organization like Goldman Sachs, or one of those 'Payday Loan' companies where you are part of a process of hurting other people.

Anger can serve you well if properly directed. It is a great mobilizer and can be used to increase your focus and determination. Use it to your benefit. Anger can almost be therapeutic, and it is a big part of the healing process. Just go easy on yourself. You are the same person you were when you were working. You still have the same values. It's just a matter of rediscovering and redefining yourself.

As much as you can, enjoy your unemployment. I don't say that lightly. I've been unemployed and I know all of the fears, uncertainties, pressures and anxieties associated with not working. But remember how many times you have picked yourself up throughout your life and know you can and will do it again. Your true value doesn't depend on whether you are working or not.

I can tell by the way you write you are a very expressive person who can articulate very well. That is a talent a lot of people don't have. I know it's hard and easy for me to say, but focus on the gifts/talents you have, and try not to focus on any perceived expectations from society.

All the best to you and your family. You are not alone...

[lumberjack_jeff]

16. Don't confuse who you are with what you do to finance it.

Read "your money or your life". Epiphany time.

[FirstLight]

17. Great analysis...you are SO not worthless!

I'm in the same boat in many ways.

My mom tells me to go get a job at burgerking or the coffee house, BUT I have never worked in food service and they wouldn't hire me either! Besides, after all the bullshit of corporate mentality, I really don't think I could work a 'traditional' job ever again. It may mean I am struggling for a while longer, it may mean that I have those feelings of not being in control of my own life or that my intelligence is wasted ..but I am doing the best I can. I take my daughter to girlscouts and my son got a scholarship to play in little league...we try to keep life 'normal'...while using all the help we can get. I've been living in poverty most of my adult ife, regardless of education. Just completed a cert program at Sac state...and I will probably never get to use it in a 'normal' corporate job environment.

Meanwhile my one freelance client is going under too and I have joined together with some of my other unemployed newspaper buddies to launch something new...which probably won't turn around any profit/pay for a couple months at best...but at least we are being "productive"!
You know, that word seems to be part of the American psychological problem with work...we don't give ourselves credit for the things we do to make life better for ourselves or our families..it is all about bottom line.

As a single mom I have CHOSEN to work in temp jobs and freelancing because it meant that I could be there for my kids when they got out of school, etc. MOTHERHOOD is my first job. but because it doesnt pay anything or require a degree, etc..it doesn't 'count'.

Anyway...it is early and I am sure my brain will come up with more things to add. But for now let's hang in there. You are right- A new paradigm *is* coming from all this - it may get worse before it gets better but it won't look the same when we are done. :hug:

[AnArmyVeteran]

20. I was a victim of REAGANOMICS...

I was laid off/fired after Reaganomics went into effect. I remember standing in a line of people that circled the unemployment office THREE TIMES. There were several hundred people waiting every morning. I thought of selling "I'm a victim of Reaganomcis" t-shirts, but then realized no one had the money to buy one.

At the unemployment office there were computers to look up jobs. One I found was to drive a van filled with fliers and people to neighborhoods to distribute advertisements on door knobs. Guess what the job requirements were? They required a masters degree for the driver and a bachelor degree for the guys in the back of the van who distributed the fliers. I don't know if it was a joke or some employer making a statement. But that was how the job was listed. At the time I had a bachelors degree but I didn't apply. I wanted to be the driver :).

Just remembering all of the hassle of going to that office all the time made me feel like I was a deadbeat. Maybe it was just my paranoia, but I always felt like the people working there looked down at me and others as deadbeats, even though they could have easily been on my side of the counter.

Under Reagan, for the first time it took two wage earners to support a household. Corporations began merging and purging people. They reduced people's workweek from 40 to 35, or less, just to avoid paying them benefits. The underemployed figures skyrocketed. And for the first time in history, Reagan began to use people in the military as part of the 'employed' numbers, artificially manipulating the employment data. Can you imagine what conservatives would have said if a democrat did that? They would be going insane condemning it. But since Reagan did that dishonest act they worshipped him.

I wonder if any tea bagger really knows or understands Reagan or any of his policies. They seem to be clueless about any history at all. They also totally forget that Reagan sent 241 of our soldiers to be murdered in their sleep, with virtually no protection, by two truck driving terrorists. And within a month after those soldiers were killed Reagan CUT AND RAN by pulling out all forces from Lebanon. Again, can you imagine what the right wingers would have said if a democrat did that? Reagan sent our soldiers into harm's way and restricted their 'rules of engagement' so much that they couldn't even defend themselves. That sound familiar? GW Bush did the same thing when he started his war based entirely on lies and sent our soldiers into battle without body armor or armor on the vehicles they drove. It seems to be a conservative trait to go to war or use our troops as targets to be shot for nothing. Why do democrats let them get away with seizing the narrative of the day? There are only a handful of truly courageous democrats in the house and senate. The rest are gutless cowards.

[NNN0LHI]

21. Microfilm & Microfiche readers in my unemployment office during Reagan

http://www.microfilmshop.com/filmandficheviewers.aspx

I don't remember anything being computerized around here back then.

Don

[AnArmyVeteran]

23. Sorry, I meant microfiche readers... It was all on film (thanks for the reminder)

[TK421]

18. You shouldn't feel bad about it-I was laid off last June from my job of

8 1/2 years and I trained at least 10 people in that time to do the job I did....and they lay ME off. I've been collecting since June of '09 since nobody around here is hiring; there just isn't any work around here. Good luck to you

[OffWithTheirHeads]

22. For what it's worth, remember, your employer didn't pay shit

into youre unemployment insurance or anything else. The only reason your employer had the resoures to pay into ANYTHING is because you earned more money for him than he paid you. In effect, you earned the money that went into the unemployment fund. It's your mony! Don't be ashamed to take it.

No employer gives anything to anybody unless they are making more money off of your labor than they are earning from your efforts. The bottom line is that you are paying for yourself, and him! Don't let them try to tell you differently and for God sake, don't feel guilty. It's your money, you earnd it.