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A lifelong friend has turned TOTALLY Tea-bagger -- what to do?

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radhika Donating Member (563 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:24 PM
Original message
A lifelong friend has turned TOTALLY Tea-bagger -- what to do?
Edited on Mon Apr-05-10 05:25 PM by radhika
A 30-year friend has morphed into a full-bore Tea Bagger. Here in Los Angeles where we first met, she was a Democrat, secular, liberal-minded, socially inclusive and a-political. After 10 years in rural Maine all is different. Republican, anti-immigrant, anti-poor, anti-choice, anti-liberal, anti-tax, anti-government. She toes the TB line on Obama: Socialist, Kenyan, Marxist, America is in Danger and we need to Take our Country Back; anti-healthcare while on Medicare. No attempts at logic or discussion works, she believes only wing-nut sites and rejects all other input.

Here is the capper: I mentioned that Peru decided to provide national healthcare to the poor. Thud. Silence. I said 'doesn't seem like you like that idea'. She agreed - no way, that is not the way the world should go. Even another nation, on another continent providing expanded social services to it's citizens is not OK in Tea-Bag terms. It's creeping socialism.

Any of you seeing this in your circles? What to do?
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JuniperLea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:27 PM
Response to Original message
1. Nope...
Only the dumbest of my Pubbie relations are going that way... you know, the kind who say "it's just a piece of paper" when I mention Obama's degrees, etc. Anyone stupid enough to think degrees of this caliber are "just a piece of paper" probably can't spell... check... doesn't know what should be capitalized or not so they type in all caps... check... and are still living in fear of "death panels"... check.
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paulsby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:28 PM
Original message
i would do nothing
i have friends all over the political spectrum. i don't try to convert them and vice versa, generally speaking.

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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:59 PM
Response to Original message
16. I'm fine as long..
... as they keep it to themselves. If they spout bullshit they will find that I can defend my opinions pretty well and rebut bullshit equally well.

So, I do have friends that are all over the political spectrum, we just don't talk politics.
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Iris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 07:34 AM
Response to Reply #16
51. That's the problem. The don't keep it to themselves. And I have issues being "friends" with
anyone who thinks people are expendable because they are poor.
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quinnox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:28 PM
Response to Original message
2. Oh boy
Consider cutting her loose. I know I couldn't hang around someone like that who constantly spews tea bagger rhetoric.

It seems she was brainwashed in Maine, and needs to be de-programmed.
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monmouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:41 PM
Response to Reply #2
8. I agree with you. My address list used to be pretty good sized. I'm
down to about five and glad to be rid of the others. I had warned them to please stop sending me bigot, false e-mails but they kept on anyway. Deleted them ... Felt very good.
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
3. I once had a friend who started out really liberal when he first moved here.
Both he and his wife (who was a friend too) started getting more and more paranoid and right wing before they finally moved back to their home town.

I quit spending time with them when I heard them making racist statements. I just didn't want to be around that. The wife started reading the Color Of Crime and believing every bit of it. They picked out a church here in town that taught stuff like that and started spending lots of time with the preacher, who was indoctrinating them into that hatred little bit by little bit.

At first, I tried to point out that they were believing lies and skewed statistics and tried to reason with them. I tried to explain it, but they would not hear it. It did not work. If anything, they seemed to start to direct hatred toward me for pointing out the truth to them.

You can't control people. You can try to reason with them, but when all else fails, cut your losses and move on...is the best bet. At least, that is my opinion on what to do when something like that happens.

In my case, I just didn't want to be around that kind of hatred toward people based on skin color. That sealed the deal. I was out of there. Fuck that. Life's too short to be tied up with people who are hung up on their hatred.

I guess it depends on the specifics of the situation.

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abelenkpe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
4. My mother used to be a democrat
She's full on tea bag crazy now. She did marry my republican father, but she remained democratic until Clinton's second term. Honestly I blame the internet. She got sucked into the Clinton administrations scandals site and from there moved on to things like free republic. She is a stay at home mom in a wealthy upper middle class suburb. She has no strife or want, but her idle time is spent willingly filling her life with hate and fear found on the internet. It's sad really. She's so nutty I won't let my children ever visit unsupervised.

But a 30 year old? G, I'd think she'd be smarter than that. But if the people she is surrounded by are all teabaggers and she only reads teabagger approved news then that would be the reason.

If she's still talking to you though there is hope. My parents haven't talked to me at all since HCR passed. Seems the teabaggers have decreed that associating with the enemy is not permitted.

Making me quite glad to live 3200 miles away in LA. I love this place! :)
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KonaKane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:38 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Mine too.
Not only has their entire household officially morphed into Teabagdom, she has started to use words like "N*gger" and "F*g" which she would never dare utter back when she was a bra burner.

I don't know what happens to people. Some say "well its age" but I dont see all older people doing this. I don't even visit anymore.
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Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. Not me. The older I get, the more liberal I get.
Shoot, it was only 11 or 12 years ago that I was still a big supporter of the death penalty. Now I'm 100% against. I've always gone my own route, though... B-)
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Not Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:07 PM
Response to Reply #15
20. Me too. And I saw my Dad move more liberal as he grew older
And I am fine with it :)
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Lilyeye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:34 PM
Response to Reply #4
30. Sounds like the folks in my family. I can't even be around them anymore.
Esp my nutbag aunt. Thankfully my parents are still democrats.
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spanone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:36 PM
Response to Original message
5. find a new 'friend'
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babsbunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:40 PM
Response to Original message
7. just laugh at them
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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NNN0LHI Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:41 PM
Response to Original message
9. This old friend of yours ever exhibited any signs of racism?
Even subtly. Just once?

Don
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radhika Donating Member (563 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:03 PM
Response to Reply #9
18. She lived in a mixed-race community here in LA...
And her children when young had playmates and later dates with persons of several races. But Maine is as white as it gets, and when I spent several weeks there I don't recall seeing even ONE non-white.

But there is another thing about rural Maine. It's a do-it-yourself, no frills type place. People repair their own houses, there are fewer building codes and plan checks, and neighbor-to-neighbor they organize their lives with less government.
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abluelady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:45 PM
Response to Original message
10. Distance Yourself
I've decided that it is more than politics. It is having different values. Life is too short to spend time with people I don't respect, even if I liked them.
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LuckyLib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:50 PM
Response to Reply #10
33. This is it in a nutshell. Life is wa-a-a-a-y too short. Dump her and find real friends.
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stanwyck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 08:45 AM
Response to Reply #10
54. That is the painful conclusion I've also come to recently.
When you discover how differently you see the world, and spending time with former friends means listening to anger and hate, you have to walk away. I do make sure that I have enough contact (through mutual friends who are apolitical - they're Switzerland) that if the person is in need, I'll be there. But, I just am no longer willing to have difficult social contact with people who consider Obama satan and consider all liberals as devil worshippers.
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abluelady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 10:04 AM
Response to Reply #54
62. It isn't Easy
There are people in my life who I've known are "not like me," but was able to deal with it, until now. I'm talking friends of over 35 years. But now they have become so vicious. Like you, I will be there for them in an emergency, but on a daily basis, I want to sip my wine with someone more like me.
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stanwyck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 11:45 AM
Response to Reply #62
67. It's incredibly sad, isn't it? I, also, am talking about very
old friendships...decades long. And my husband and I have tried. AND tried. But we've decided it's just not worth another painful evening of trying to avoid the minefield of topics with certain people. When you're reduced to discussing the latest (benign) TV show (nothing controversial!) or the weather (nothing about climate change!) with people you've known for over 30 yrs, you're in trouble. And the evening is long and tiresome. No issue is without hidden possibilities of blame for: "those people" (minorities, immigrants, whoever isn't "us"), the "elite" (? whoever they might be), the media (well, except for Fox News or the radio talkers), public school teachers (um, my parents), Hollywood (aka Jews), and on and on. You end up in a very strained, artificial atmosphere where nothing thrives. I'm not sure where the break happened. It was gradual. We all used to be more homogeneous. I think the origin of the disconnect occurred somewhere around our late 30's.
I guess when the realization starts to set in that we're not the Masters of the Universe, we're average people, there are people who feel lost and start looking for excuses for not being part of some exclusive club they really thought they'd be in by 40.
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Naturalist111 Donating Member (362 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:45 PM
Response to Original message
11. Bully him!!!
:-)
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4lbs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:48 PM
Response to Original message
12. "10 years in rural Maine" says it all.
Edited on Mon Apr-05-10 06:14 PM by 4lbs
Rural Maine likely doesn't have much access to TV or the Internet.

You know what they do have access to? Radio.

90% of talk radio is far right-wing Conservative. That's where Rush Limbaugh lives - on the radio.

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Zing Zing Zingbah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #12
77. Rural Maine isn't as isolated as you might think...
Edited on Tue Apr-06-10 08:39 PM by Zing Zing Zingbah
They've got cell phone service, cable/satellite tv, and internet these days in rural Maine towns. I grew up in rural Maine (live in a Maine "city" right now). I have never been a conservative.
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elocs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:48 PM
Response to Original message
13. Really nothing you can do. You might want to ask the "Obama is a Socialist" types
why any good socialist would give billions of dollars to help bail out institutions that are as capitalist as banks.

The short answer is that most of those accusing Obama and Democrats of socialism have no real idea what it is and how few countries in the world are actually socialist.
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OneTenthofOnePercent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 05:52 PM
Response to Original message
14. Ignore avoid political conversation. Value her friendship otherwise.
I'm sure (at least I hope) your lifelong friendships amount to more than political conversations.
I have liberal and conservative friends. There's no reason you can't continue to be friends with someone for other reasons.
I mean, it's not they've become hitler or the grand dragon or anything.
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WhiteTara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:00 PM
Response to Original message
17. carefully back away
don't make any sudden movements. Startled animals in a corner will bite. After you have made your escape, don't look back.
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Froward69 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:06 PM
Response to Original message
19. She has to hit Rock bottom and has to WANT to change
the way She Thinks. Really Tea illusion-ed people are selfish, Greedy and hateful. they falsely believe a certain element of society must die off.

~ until (of course) they themselves become endangered.
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truedelphi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:11 PM
Response to Original message
21. It sounds like maybe she was a bit lonely in Maine, and
One thing that a movement like this does is that it provides all its most diligent members with a real sense of community.

I forget which major woman journalist had remarked on her concerns about Maine's conservative nature several years ago. But I do remember the gist of reading the article. It was sad what she detailed. So many of the people there are all very poor, and mostly out of work. Yet they embraced Bush and Bush's wars, and now they are into the TB movement.

I was also reading a book about small companies and how to successfully market your business. The author (Again, another woman journalist) detailed her experiences with shopping for fish at the local fish market while she vacationed in Maine.

She wanted some fish whose price was listed at an extremely attractive price. When she ordered the fish from the store's one clerk, the clerk went over to the chalk board, erased the price, and said in a huff - "Well that was yesterday's special. YOU cannot HAVE the fish at that price." As though it was the shopper's fault that the fish was mislabeled.

The woman shopper said, "But why can't I have the fish at the price you had displayed. I didn't make the mistake, your store did."


Now people in Maine are known as among the most reliable friends you can have, but in terms of business - they seem to be missing some part of the business code of "Customer is always right."
In the end, as a shopper, she ended up very displeased with how she was treated. She went on to note that Maine has fewer successful small businesses than any other state in New England. And she commented that based on her experiences, it was easy to see why. The people whom she encountered in Maine (in terms of their business prowess) were not flexible or customer oriented and really did think in black and white, with no wiggle room or little humanity.

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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:38 PM
Response to Reply #21
32. "the TB movement"!
Well, it is contagious, and potentially deadly. :P
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Old Troop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:15 PM
Response to Original message
22. If this is truly a friend, do nothing
Unless the person aggressively and continually tries to foist her views on you. Does she have other traits that you still appreciate? Can conversations be guided into neutral ground?
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ThomThom Donating Member (752 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:24 PM
Response to Original message
23. send a package of kool-aid and a kiss-off note and walk away
save your breath
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Dappleganger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:24 PM
Response to Original message
24. There are some who have clearly gone off the deep end.
With the ones who have a streak of reasonable-ness, debating issues based on my own personal experience seems to work best. People know that we've been w/out a permanent job, have only catastrophic insurance, have done everything by the book and still got the shaft. What they tell me is "It's ok for people like YOu to get help, I don't mind if my tax dollars help you. It's those OTHER people (I'm guessing welfare queens??LOL) who sit on their asses all day, they don't deserve our help!" My brother-in-law lamented about how much more his business will need to pay for health care, while I lamented about our lack of adequate care for basic needs. Then I reminded him that it would be better for everyone is health care was not tied to work at all, further burdening businesses. Wouldn't that be great? He agreed rather quickly.

There are some who have clearly gone off the deep-end...I put them on ignore pretty much all around. You just can't reason with stupid.
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HubertHeaver Donating Member (428 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:25 PM
Response to Original message
25. How old is your friend? (rhetorical question)
I always take this paranoid thinking as an indicator of early onset dementia (unless the person is >50 years, then its just plain old dementia).
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SharonAnn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:58 PM
Response to Reply #25
34. Me too. I've seen it happen with some older relatives. All of sudden right-wing thinking, and
thinking things are black or white, America love it or leave it, you're either with us or against us, etc.

Then, 1-3 years later they're diagnozed with Alzheimer's dementia.

I think that one of the first things that I noticed was that they no longer did shades of grey or nuance in thinking. No complex answers, just simple "either or" scenarios.

I know this is anecdotal "evidence", but the people weren't like that before and they suddenly changed. And yes, they became very interested in right-wing radio but I think that was a symptom rather than a cause.

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AnArmyVeteran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 11:02 AM
Response to Reply #34
65. My sister abused my Mother by insisting she have Fox News on all the time...
My sister would force my Mom to have her tv on Fox all the time until my Mom finally succumbed to the right wing hatred. My sister regularly abuses other people and she also abused my Mom. My sister seems to foam at the mouth when she sees anyone vulnerable so she can exploit them or scream at them. She exploited my vulnerable mother too just as my Mom's health, mental and physical, both declined. I thought it was a horrible assault against my Mother, but no amount of coaxing could get her to see what my sister was doing to her. There is child abuse and there is elderly abuse. My sister seized the opportunity to pounce on my Mom's vulnerability and exploit it.

I have heard a lot of other friends who had their parents, or parents of friends, exploited in the same way by forcing them to watch Fox. The conservatives who are Fox watchers and right wing radio listeners are a CULT. They have all the signs of a cult, complete with the blind devotion and their belief that they are right and everyone else is wrong.
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UpInArms Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:30 PM
Response to Original message
26. People don't really change - they just become more of who they are.
That woman was not your friend. She was an acquaintance. If she had ever had to choose in pampering herself and helping you, her response would not have been in your favor.

Sorry for your loss, but I'll say - it wasn't much.

:hi:
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JanMichael Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:33 PM
Response to Original message
27. Some people aren't worth the effort.
One might wish to try but inevitably, time after time, subjects will pop up that expose idiotic and selfish qualities.

I simply don't associate myself with people like that on a personal level. Isn't there some "break bread" quote about that floating around in history?
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shedevil69taz Donating Member (222 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:34 PM
Response to Original message
28. Me thinketh
that if she went so far from one end of the spectrum to the other mayhaps she is too easily influenced by opinions of those around her? If so I would suggest that you do what I do with my republican family members and yes friends: avoid conversation about hot-button political issues. If any of those in my life that are so far on the right and won't listen to reason at all bring up one of the subjects I tend to simply tell them I don't wish to talk with them about it.
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Ishoutandscream2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:34 PM
Response to Original message
29. Yes, I am surrounded by them
It's just par for the course here where I live. Teabaggers are seen here as real patriots. It's maddening.
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hatrack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 06:36 PM
Response to Original message
31. Cut her loose. Life is too short to put up with delusional bullshit when you don't have to.
Edited on Mon Apr-05-10 06:37 PM by hatrack
nt
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NotThisTime Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 07:04 PM
Response to Original message
35. There is NOTHING you can do... either accept your friend with their problems or find a new friend...
sorry :( The level she's crossed over to is too large to conquer
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southernleftylady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 07:06 PM
Response to Original message
36. My sister.. she did the same thing when she moved to the country nt
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Homer Wells Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 07:14 PM
Response to Original message
37. Walk away
Just walk away!


:shrug:
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otohara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 07:18 PM
Response to Original message
38. Who Is She Listening/Watching ?
tell her to stop NOW is it's the prime-time hate crew and Limbaugh and send her links w/ truth vs lies, fear, propaganda, etc...tell her about PolitiFact http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter /

and Snopes.com is a must for all those ridiculous RW e-mails.
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LetsgoWings13 Donating Member (144 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 07:18 PM
Response to Original message
39. nothing you can really do... she is prolly wondering why she can't
"help" you :P
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JHB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-05-10 07:20 PM
Response to Original message
40. Another victim of "politics by osmosis"...
I think we need to have some sort of "Sunday school for liberalism", where we really impress upon people (and each other) what we believe as liberals and why we believe those things. And what principles we use to inform our decisions.

I've seen what you describe a number of times who either "aren't political" or are really superficial about their politics (a bit before my time, but the Vietnam-era archetype of this was they guy who was antiwar because that's the crowd that where it was easy to get high and get laid; in the 70's it was the "a conservative is a liberal who got mugged" archetype).

In LA, your friend blended in with the people around her. In Maine, she probably did the same with a different crowd. And since you noted she was apolitical before, I'd bet her new position is amplified by a new-convert's zeal.

There's no set formula for getting someone like that back, and often isn't something you can really do.

Try calling yourself an "Eisenhower socialist" (because the sort of things they're screaming about now were mostly common sense politics in Ike's era).
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ChicagoSuz219 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 12:54 AM
Response to Original message
41. Talk about your kids & the weather...
...don't get into politics & the rest.

If you can't do that, find another friend.
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cherokeeprogressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 01:00 AM
Response to Original message
42. Relax. It could be worse... she could be a Tiger Woods fan.
Seriously though, either she's your life-long friend, or she's not. Don't talk politics with her if she is, dump her if she's not. Your call.

I never let politics get in the way of good times with my life-long friends, even when the subject comes up.
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zanana1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 01:34 AM
Response to Original message
43. My brother was a progressive Democrat until he moved to Florida.
Okay--he didn't immediately become right-wing. It took about five years. But he's a different person now and being around him is just awkward and uncomfortable because there isn't much we can talk about. We used to be close. I feel like I've lost him. Sad.
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Greyhound Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 03:43 AM
Response to Original message
44. I'm a bit confused, what happened in Maine?
Did the Maine Republicon committee beat her with their stupid stick? Did she marry a knuckle-dragging mouth-breather? Frontal lobotomy?


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radhika Donating Member (563 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 11:04 AM
Response to Reply #44
66. Nothing really, she's now retired and was long divorced n/t
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jeanpalmer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 04:55 AM
Response to Original message
45. Stockholm Syndrome?
I've seen several friends change their politics, and other things, based on where they moved to. I think in many cases it's a matter of trying to blend in with the local population and the new friends they make. It doesn't involve a conscious decision to change. The change just happens through very subtle influences. The friends they make, the work place, the church, the news they get -- all play a part.
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gleaner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 04:58 AM
Response to Original message
46. Saw it in the past ...
A woman I thought was a friend even though she was a rigid conservative told me that my life as a person with MS was not as important as the "potential" life of a fertilized zygote about to be discarded at a fertility clinic. This was a few years ago when they were discussing using the fertilized eggs that were abandoned and due to be destroyed anyway for stem cell research. She did it again in a political forum we both participated in.

I thought it over and told her that I was sorry but friends needed to support each other and mean something to each other. I cut my losses and stopped contact with her. Afterwords I realized that it was a huge relief not to be constantly judged or denigrated by someone I had thought I could trust.

My advice is to cut your losses. People can change a lot over time. Keep your good memories of her, but think of how she actually treats you and decide if it is worth it.
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Vinca Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 06:35 AM
Response to Original message
47. Tell her that to be a bona fide teabagger she MUST forfeit demon Medicare.
After all, everyone knows it's a socialist plot to get people like her in front of death panels.
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lame54 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 07:26 AM
Response to Original message
48. Dunk him in hot water
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barbiegeek Donating Member (844 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 07:29 AM
Response to Original message
49. I'd ask her why she changed her views from 30 years ago
Honestly, i'd dump her.
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EnviroBat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 07:32 AM
Response to Original message
50. I would send a search party out to find the missing part of her brain.
My father and sister are rabid idiots now too. It's hard to deal with, so I tend to ignore both of them.
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Skidmore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 07:44 AM
Response to Original message
52. I recently told someone that she knew where to find me when
she could engage in a discussion based on reality and not irrational garbage coming from radio personalities. Doesn't mean I love her any less, just means I expect her to respect her own intelligence.
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Brewman_Jax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 08:20 AM
Response to Original message
53. I haven't seen this in my circles
I've found that those that have turned to the dark side or have made such a drastic philosophical change either: believed only a few democratic/progressive ideas and never was truly a democrat, or suffered some major trauma, much like the bumpersticker "A Conservative is a Liberal that got mugged." (My counter: A Liberal is a Conservative that got laid off--again.) Maybe, like some conservatives I've met, she has retreated to how she was raised. Who can say? :shrug:

Since you asked, you can let her go. Life is too short to keep unkind and rotten people around.
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Tailormyst Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 08:47 AM
Response to Original message
55. Here is what you do: You don't talk about politics or religion.
Seriously.
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harun Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 09:11 AM
Response to Original message
56. Remind her she is un-democratic. If she truly believed in democracy,
which these tea baggers claim (but is pure BS), then they would agree if say 75% of the population wanted a given social service, that they should be allowed to have it.

Saying "that is not the way the world should go" is tyranny. If the majority of a population wants a given social service and it isn't oppressing the minority, they shall get it. Regardless of how fucked up the world view of the minority is.

It is called a society, a community. The tea-baggers are individualist extremist. Which is pure hypocrisy because they all use social services every day that they enjoy and work well.
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deutsey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 09:14 AM
Response to Original message
57. I lost a good friend in 2004 because of political and religious differences
We were very good friends back in college and had kept in touch for 17 years despite living far apart from each other (I was even in his wedding).

Then he moved to Texas and he would occassionally email me anti-Democratic "jokes." I usually ignored them but then he sent me something about Kerry and Howard Stern at a time when I was getting annoyed with the way the Dems were being smeared in the media (and weren't doing a very good job of defending themselves). So I wrote back something like I'd prefer Kerry and Stern over Bush and Limbaugh any time (and, believe me, I was never a fan of Stern's and was disappointed by Kerry's largely ineffective campaign).

Well, that set off an email exchange that somehow morphed into a discussion about religion. He asked me to explain to him my beliefs about God, the Bible, etc., which I did. In his response he literally accused me of being in the grip of Satan (he wrote all this in all-caps) and assured me that I was going to hell. Although I was completely blindsided by his fundamentalism, I tried to say in a conciliatory follow-up, look, you have your beliefs and I have mine (both political and religious), but we should be able to find enough common ground between us to remain friends.

He must have seen that as a satanic ruse on my part or something, because we haven't been in contact with each other ever since.

So the moral of this story for me is: If your friend can respect your beliefs and you can respect theirs (assuming they're more or less tolerable), remain friends. Try to give them that option. But if they can't respect your beliefs and choose to end the friendship, well, that's their choice.
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snooper2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 09:17 AM
Response to Original message
58. laugh at her and treat her with ridicule...
Dude at my work gets it every day from several of us...

Last week I walked over to his cube and asked him if he was going out in the evening to have a brick throwing party with his fellow teabaggers. I think it's starting to get to him :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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SocialistLez Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 09:21 AM
Response to Original message
59. How does that happen?
I just can't wrap my head around it.
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kctim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 10:21 AM
Response to Reply #59
64. You find you must
rely more on yourself and slowly discover that you are more than able to do so. This instills a sense of individualism and you begin to resent things which threaten to take that away.
Its one of the main reasons liberals have such disdain for us moderate Dems.
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SocialistLez Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 12:34 PM
Response to Reply #64
69. How does
universal health care, a living wage, progressive taxation, and a robust social safety net take away someone's individualism?

If people want to do more on their own...fine. I'd just like more safety nets when the rug is pulled out from people since more of our "representatives" are endorsing policies that are threatening the economic livelihood of their citizens via NAFTA, CAFTA, WTO, etc. If you're doing well on your own, fine but there needs to be a safety net for people when the rug is pulled out from under them.

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kctim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 02:09 PM
Response to Reply #69
71. Seriously?
They take away ones individualism by taking away choice so that they will conform to anothers vision of 'society.' Universal HC is a great example of this: one side believes they know what is best for everybody, so everybody must be forced to pay for it, while the other side believes individuals are the only ones who know what is best for themselves so they are the ones who are responsible for it.
The 'society' group disregards individual rights in the name of 'society,' and the 'individual' group places individual rights ahead of society.

You can't say you are fine with people who want to do more on their own if you support taking more from them. The more you take from them, the less they can do for themselves. The less they can do for themselves, the more they feel like government has control over them.

Urban/rural, city/town, downtown/outskirts of town. The less people are affected by government, the less people want them in their lives.
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SocialistLez Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 07:39 PM
Response to Reply #71
73. Doesn't sound like a moderate dem to me
Sure you don't belong on www.freerepublic.com?
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kctim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-10 08:20 AM
Response to Reply #73
79. Sigh
The thread is about the posters friend becoming conservative and you asked how that can happen. We were discussing our opinions on the "individualist" mindset of those on the right and comparing it to the "society" mindset of the those on the left.
I thought maybe you wanted an intelligent answer to your question instead of the normal stereotype cheerleading. My bad.
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SocialistLez Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-10 07:29 PM
Response to Reply #79
80. I understand people have that view
but I just don't get it.
I know you explained it well but eh...I just don't get it.

I am open to compromise on health care. If you don't want to be part of the single payer health care system, you won't have to contribute to it. You can buy private health insurance or just be uninsured. However, if you're uninsured, your medical bills won't be forgiven even if you file for bankruptcy.
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kctim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-08-10 08:25 AM
Response to Reply #80
82. I agree with you
and I believe that would cut the Tea Party at least in half. But we know it cannot be voluntary like that because that would never work. It has to be mandated or it would fail just like Social Security and Medicare would fail if they were voluntary.

Our country was founded on the principles of individual rights and limited government, individualism. These kind of government mandates are actually kind of new to our country, so it is going to take time for people to embrace them.

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olegramps Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 09:27 AM
Response to Original message
60. Why would you want to associate with someone worships Cheney, Palin and Company?
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Maru Kitteh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 09:45 AM
Response to Original message
61. Have you asked her what she thinks should be done about healthcare for the working poor?
Forget for a moment those who are unemployed, those without any income, etc.... for the purposes of argument, ask her how we fix the fact that millions of Americans get up for work every day and yet still have no access to healthcare?

If the die is cast though, really, what's the point? I'd be inclined to write her a short letter explaining that she cannot sit there and draw socialist money for herself whilst railing about "the socialists" and expect to be taken seriously by anyone, life is too short and you will be happy to correspond with her when she has regained her senses.

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Stevenmarc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 10:08 AM
Response to Original message
63. Unless you expect to score big in her will, write her off
Edited on Tue Apr-06-10 10:09 AM by Stevenmarc
and hope she comes back to her senses, life's too short.
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stanwyck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 11:49 AM
Response to Original message
68. By the way, life has been SO much better since I
put several "friends" on HIDE on FB. You won't believe the improvement when you don't have to view the latest teabag rants. It does affect you. So, put it out of sight. Remember your friends the way they were, before they started viewing Sarah Palin as the messiah.
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TheKentuckian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 01:07 PM
Response to Original message
70. I can't tell you what to do but I ask you to reflect on this
Edited on Tue Apr-06-10 01:52 PM by TheKentuckian
A child could be raised by wolves or chimps or survive on it's own far from civilization or parents but if you work with them and eventually educate them they will fill in all those gaps in knowledge that we take for granted.

If one is so homely that you have to put a T-Bone around their neck to even get the dog to play with them they can see a great plastic surgeon and go into modeling.

If you have cancer spreading through your body we can offer chemo, radiations, and surgery.

Saul of Tarsus fed Christians to lions and persecuted them with fervor. We are familiar with Wendel Porter that worked with big insurance to make their shit smell like roses. Both "saw the light".

Heck, most are familiar with the story of Lazarus and certainly have heard about people that have flat lined but were resuscitated.

However, as far as I can think of in life, myth, or even in fiction is there any examples of anyone fixing stupid.

Neil Young said that even Richard Nixon has soul.

Think about it from ignorance, to ugly, to fat, to poor, to lazy, to disrespectful, to misinformed, to unable to pay attention, to evil, and even on occasion dead we can help with the situation but like a man that is wiser than he looks that makes a living telling jokes became famous for pointing out-you can't fix stupid.

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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 02:13 PM
Response to Original message
72. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
mrfocus Donating Member (151 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 07:43 PM
Response to Original message
74. Give her a "No Cash - No Care" wristband....
although I am pretty sure she won't get the joke being on Medicare and railing against the "socialist health care system"

http://www.nocashnocare.com

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WeDidIt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 07:44 PM
Response to Original message
75. I would drop that friend in a heartbeat
Fuck the 30 years. It isn't worth the aggravation.
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chrisa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 07:57 PM
Response to Original message
76. It's fine. Keep her as a friend, if you can.
Just don't talk about politics. If she doesn't try to discuss politics, then you'll be fine. If she does, act uninterested and change the subject. This is, assuming that she still treats you well.

Politics is no reason to end a friendship if it's going well otherwise, imo. Just avoid political conversations all-together.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-06-10 09:11 PM
Response to Original message
78. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
opihimoimoi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-07-10 07:50 PM
Response to Original message
81. patience is needed...listen, humor, maybe compromise until the lightbulb is turned on full
The Baggers have only crap in their sacks...their message has peaked...worse, they are finding out they are the targets of the GOP Masters who sent Dick Aemney to initiate cranks the Bag CULT.....yess...the TEABAGGERS...they even named themselves....lol....

Friends are rare these daze...good ones esp so...

Deflect and avoid neg.....go for common ground....
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LanternWaste Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-08-10 08:32 AM
Response to Original message
83.  In my circle of close friends
"what to do? "

In my circle of close friends, we simply realize that friendship outweighs any difference in politics, religion, philosophy, income disparities, etc. They become in effect, non-issues; little more than something we use to poke good-natured fun at each other, rarely ever more than that.
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