"Are you too busy to respond to every comment on your blog? Do you have a difficult time coming up with quick retorts during debates in local activist meetings? Is your pet position being ignored by your progressive friends and colleagues? Are there still progressives who have the gall to not follow every last bit of your advice on politics? If you face these or any similar problems, then you need my guide on how to win an argument with a fellow progressive. It is quick. It is easy. Also, if my experience in receiving literally dozens of criticisms of my own writing on a daily basis is any indicator, it would appear that literally anyone can follow this guide and still feel absolutely self-righteous. These simple rules should allow you to win pretty much any argument with a single progressive, or a group of progressives. Just remember the following:
1. Someone disagrees with you only because of his or her demographic background. The only reason any progressive holds any position that different from yours is because s/he is one or more of the following: white, suburban, non-union, upper-middle class, from a different region of the country, heterosexual, homosexual, male, female, a Baby Boomer, not a Baby Boomer, secular, religious, or from a specific type of religious background. If you are in a disagreement with someone on a topic that somehow particularly affects any given demographic, simply argue that the reason that person is disagreeing with you because s/he hails from the demographic group viewed as the oppressor when it comes to that given issue. When making this sort of argument, it is particularly helpful to point out that you are a member of the oppressed demographic. Of course, since you probably aren't a member of that demographic group, it is almost as good to point out that all of your friends from that demographic group agree with you. This tactic can also work against entire organizations if the membership of an organizations is not properly diverse."
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"3. What would Ghandi do?. If you happen to be in the unfortunate position where your given position is considered "fringe" by the majority of progressives, always close and open any discussion on that position with Ghandi's saying "first they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." Since Ghandi is the progressive Jesus, this tactic will work about as well among progressives as quoting Bible verses works among conservatives. You pull out a Ghandi quote, and you skip straight to stage four in any argument. Also, while this particular phrase is most effective when you are being ignored and / or laughed at, no matter what stage in Ghandi's progression you are actually in, claim that you are already at stage number three. After all, if you are in an argument, then someone is disagreeing with you, and thus in a sense fighting you. It really is the same thing as British troops throwing you in jail for a decade after beating the hell out of you for a non-violent protest."
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"6. You are too good for them anyway. If all else fails, just remember that whoever disagrees with you is either a corporate, DLC-lackey or a self-destructive, know-nothing McGovernick. You can end any argument in this fashion and still win it, because in the end you know that their tactics will lead to failure. Hell, not only will it fail, the person who disagrees with you is probably getting bought off by Rove, or some corporation. That is the only possible explanation for disagreeing with someone like you, who is made up of pure light. Except, perhaps, that you are arguing with a rank amateur who doesn't have the proper historical context to understand why liberals must be quiet at all times, lest conservatives dominate the country is even greater numbers. Some people are too naïve to know what is for their own good."
http://mydd.com/story/2007/1/29/20434/0012#readmore
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