ABC Exclusive: War in Iraq to be given a new name

[Stoic]

ABC News

Once called "Bush's Clusterfuck", it will now be renamed "Obama's Clusterfuck".

[midnight]

1. To Bad....

[Toucano]

3. Or not to bad?

Is that the question?

[timeforpeace]

4. Two bad questions.

[jobycom]

6. To Bad! To arms! To me!

Kind of a war cry, I thought.

[Toucano]

11. For me, it's To Bed! n-t

[xultar]

2. Recommend.

[NRaleighLiberal]

5. Operation New Dawn? isn't that a dishwashing detergent? Maryann from Gilligan's Island?

[fan of the arts]

7. Torture camps to be renamed "Happy Land" too

as we let all the war criminals go free and concentrate on not getting health care, no regulations of criminal banks and screaming about some retard-tossing Alaskan hick distraction.

[MadBadger]

8. Funny, thats not what the article said.

[obamaisbestone]

9. Obama is doing just what he said he would do about Iraq.

Out in 18 months.

I do like the bumper sticker.

[jobycom]

10. The stages of the lies used to start and maintain a war.

Stage One: We must invade for national security and because they are killing babies. Our boys will be home by Christmas. Ignore the liberal protestors, they are the reason we lost the last war.

Stage Two: We have achieved our goals, and are assisting the locals to rebuild their nation. Our boys will hang around in an advisory capacity, and to serve as peace keepers. Fuck you, liberals. Next Christmas. Tell the boys how proud you are of them.

Stage Three: Okay, yeah, the reasons we first gave for the war were lies, and the declaration of victory was premature, but we are over there now, and we really kind of can't leave yet because we fucked everything up so badly that we owe it to the people there to fix things. We feel really bad, like worse than you think we do and all, but we can't bring the boys back home yet or just a lot of bad shit will go down. Next Christmas. I promise. Oh yeah, and we need to send a few thousand more troops, just to be safe.

Stage Four: "The incumbent is a liar and a failure. He cannot end this war. Elect me, and I will win us peace with dignity. The boys will be back home by Christmas. The following Christmas, latest. I promise."

Stage Five: Well, now that I am in office I can see just how bad the other guy fucked things up. I mean, you have no idea. We have to leave the boys over there. Trust me, we just do. I can't explain... cough... national security... cough... Soon, though. Some will be home by Christmas. A lot of them. By Christmas. They will have two weeks before redeployment. I really wish I could do otherwise, but that last guy who held this office... You know how it is. Two more Christmases. If that. I'm just being honest. Stick with me on this.

Stage Six: Yeah, I promised to bring them home, and we are on pace to keep that promise. Meanwhile, I am doubling the troops and aggressively attacking the locals in the hopes that killing a lot more villagers will smoke the bad guys out of the trees and scare everyone into not supporting them anymore. It could work. You never know until you try. More troops. Too pay for them, we have to cancel Christmas.

Stage Seven: Okay, we are broke, we are losing, the bad guys are calling all the shots, and I am down in the polls three months before the election. The troops are on the choppers now. They'll be home before the elections. Merry Fucking Christmas.

Stage Eight: New war. We would have won that last war if it weren't for all the goddamned liberals protesting it. Honest. Let's not listen to them this time. Trust me. They'll be home by Christmas.

[Swamp Rat]

13. Excellent!

:applause: :applause: :applause:

[stevenleser]

12. Really? Is it known as Nixon's Vietnam? No? Didnt think so. Its not Obama's Iraq either

Nice try. Not.