Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

response to conservative ''liberal vs. conservative'' viral email

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010) Donate to DU
 
yurbud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:01 AM
Original message
response to conservative ''liberal vs. conservative'' viral email
A friend got this from his dad and challenged me to come up with a response:


Conservative vs Liberal

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
Lot of truth here!

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a
good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".


Here's my response:



Liberal vs. Conservative

If a liberal hears about a crime in his neighborhood, he calls the cops, then finds out if his local police are adequately funded.
If a conservative hears about a crime in his neighborhood, he buys a handgun and uses it to shoot his wife when he's drunk. Unless his kid used it to shoot the neighbor kid first.

If a liberal has a religion, he practice it at home and at church.
If a conservative has a religion, everyone has to practice it in public schools and courthouses.

If a liberal isn't a homosexual, he doesn't have sex with homosexuals.
If a conservative isn't a homosexual, he want to bar homosexuals from getting married because there's nothing worse than a monogamous homosexual. (but the conservative still has sex with them).

If a liberal sees his hard-working neighbor out of a job, he wonders if any of our economic policies cost him his job, and how we as a society can help him out until he gets back on his feet.
If a conservative sees his hard-working neighbor out of a job, he assumes the guy is lazy or being punished by God.

If a liberal doesn't like a talk show host, he changes channels...and finds that they are almost all conservative even though half or more Americans are liberal.
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he calls him a terrorist-loving, America-hating traitor who should be shot (or maybe that was just Bill O'Reilly).

If a liberal has good health insurance, he wonders if others have it too and how he can help them get it.
If a conservative has good health insurance, he doesn't give a crap if other people die in the streets like dogs.

If a liberal hears a good idea like "Do unto to others as you would have them do unto you," they try to live by it.
If a conservative hears a good idea like that, they make a long list of exceptions to the rule, like in business, torturing people you're afraid of, how they treat minorities, immigrants, gays....

Lastly, if a liberal gets an unsourced email, he wonders if it was concocted by some PR firm who knows how to push conservatives buttons.
If a conservative gets an unsourced email, he forwards it without thought because it pushed all his buttons.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
gatorboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:04 AM
Response to Original message
1. " If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life."
Yes because if his conservative friends found out, they would murder him.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
CTyankee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:07 AM
Response to Reply #1
3.  A life of quiet desperation for the conservative.
He perpetuates his own misery rather than stepping in the light of truth and understanding.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yurbud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:09 AM
Response to Reply #1
5. then call Jeff Gannon to celebrate...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Betty Karlson Donating Member (902 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-19-10 10:04 AM
Response to Reply #1
19. It's difficult to quietly lead your life
When others are doing everything to vociferously take it away from you. I would certainly encourage my GLBT brothers and sisters in Christ to NOT stay quiet when it happens to them.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Overseas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-19-10 10:11 AM
Response to Reply #1
20. The PR firm that wrote the email hopes we haven't seen "Outrage."
If a conservative politician is gay, he pushes anti-gay legislation.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
CTyankee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:06 AM
Response to Original message
2. Excellent. I'll cut and paste that baby! nt
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Zoeisright Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:08 AM
Response to Original message
4. Sure is a lot of projection in that first one.
Repukes, after all, are the ones who want to control everyone, and the ones who whine and snivel when they don't get their way. They are always trying to suppress freedom of speech, hating the poor, and then crying when they don't get their way.

Your response is great.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
raccoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:20 AM
Response to Original message
6. This is great. Rec'd.

This is such BS:

"If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it."

Hello--a lot of jobs DON'T provide it. As for shopping for it, he may be denied insurance due to pre-existing conditions.


A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his."

No, we all pay for it.


Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
zeos3 Donating Member (912 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:23 AM
Response to Original message
7. Excellent response. n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Make7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:23 AM
Response to Original message
8. I always thought the "Joe Conservative" email was the stock response to that one.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Overseas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-19-10 10:15 AM
Response to Reply #8
21. It is a classic. Very apropos. //nt
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
el_bryanto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:31 AM
Response to Original message
9. Good response n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Motown_Johnny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:40 AM
Response to Original message
10. If a conservative believes life begins at conception he may kill someone who doesn't
if a conservative is afraid he may order bomb strikes on innocent civilians

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yurbud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:44 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. if a liberal is attacked by terrorists, he wants to catch the guys who did it AND find out why
so he can prevent it from happening again.

If a conservative is attacked by terrorists, he wants to commit genocide on everyone of the terrorists religion, race, or both (and gays, atheists, and anyone who believes in evolution)...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Xenotime Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-19-10 10:40 AM
Response to Reply #11
22. Agreed.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Iris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 01:29 PM
Response to Reply #10
16. If a conservative doesn't believe in abortion, she has one anyway but makes sure no one else can
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
NJmaverick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 11:57 AM
Response to Original message
12. A few more
If a conservative has a belief abortions are wrong they ban want to ban that option for everyone else
If a liberal believes an abortion is OK they want to let each woman make that choice for themsevles

If a conservative is in office they spend like drunken sailors and say debt is OK
If a conservative is out of power they say debt is evil and try to obstruct any progress

If a liberal is presented with scientific theories and statements they look at the facts and accept or reject based on the scientific evidence
If a conservative is presented with scientific theories and statements they ignore the facts and go with that they want to hear
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yurbud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 12:27 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. yep
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Urban Prairie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
14. Conservatives say life begins upon conception...
and abortion is murder. But they also believe in "personal responsibility", and want to eliminate entitlements, so if abortion is banned, that baby had better be born with decent health insurance coverage and the mother and/or father gainfully employed. If the baby/child dies or becomes seriously ill, due to the lack of sufficient medical treatment or financial support, it is not their concern.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yurbud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 01:26 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. if the baby dies in utero because the mom couldn't afford a doctor or food, that's ok.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
conscious evolution Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 01:55 PM
Response to Original message
17. If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a
If a liberral reads this he forwards it to his friends for a good laugh.Then debunks it and makes the con look like an idiot.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yurbud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-19-10 01:43 PM
Response to Reply #17
23. ha! Is that you gors?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
donheld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-18-10 10:34 PM
Response to Original message
18. Bravo
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Sat Aug 02nd 2014, 12:29 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010) Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC