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Mother injects heroin into brain damaged son to allow him to die in peace

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Mari333 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 07:58 AM
Original message
Mother injects heroin into brain damaged son to allow him to die in peace
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article6...

now she is on trial for murder. if he had no possible hope of being anything but a shell of a body with no possibility of functioning, I wonder what any parent would do?
I have seen parents hang on to their grown children who had NO brain function for yrs, hoping for a miracle.
this is a sad but poignant story.
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Christa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 08:04 AM
Response to Original message
1. I cannot blame her at all
I hope never to be in this position, but NO judgment from me.



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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-18-10 12:18 AM
Response to Reply #1
15. I had to turn off my mother's life support. I have only love and appreciation
for that last dignity and that last love I could give her. This woman is blameless.
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Tansy_Gold Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 08:07 AM
Response to Original message
2. I can't speak for everyone, but I think many of us who have watched
a loved one die a slow, cruel death would not condemn Ms. Inglis. Some of us might even wish we had her depth of love.



Tansy Gold, been there, done that.
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Happyhippychick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 08:35 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. Yes and yes.
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Altoid_Cyclist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 09:15 AM
Response to Reply #2
6. I watched my Dad die from early on-set Alzheimers and my Mom from metastatic colon cancer.
My story is a little different than this article, but your post just brought back some painful memories.

People can think whatever they wish about me, but there are cases where a hastened, peaceful and respective death is far better than letting modern medicine prolong "life" simply because they have the technology to do so. There are times when death is not the worst option available.

My Dad would beg us to do something to hasten his death and I couldn't believe the amount of pain that my Mom went through before lapsing into a coma. I will carry the memories of what they went through (with no hope of recovery) to the end of my own days.

You're so right that I can't condemn Ms. Inglis or anyone else who has to watch a loved one suffer and chooses the same path as she.
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Saphire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 09:37 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. You are not alone. I felt they would not have allowed a dog to suffer
like my mom did. Thankfully, it was only for a short time. I would not convict her.
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Tansy_Gold Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 10:00 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. "If I were a dog, they'd put me out of my misery"
My husand's words, six weeks before his death.

We were awaiting the birth of our daughter's first child and for her sake as well as my husband's, I wanted him to last long enough for that. But it became obvious that the pain was too great, the cancer had advanced too far for effective treatment, and it was just a matter of days or hours. We brought him home to hospice care on Thursday, the baby was born on Friday, and my husband died on Saturday morning, on our son's birthday.

Hospice had given me various suffering-relieving medications, for whatever good they would do. One of them was morphine, to be administered orally with precise records kept of when and how much was given.

The hospice nurse was on her way for the daily visit when he died, and after her arrival the first thing she asked me to do was dispose of the remaining morphine. I asked her if she needed to check the records and how much was left and she just said quietly, peacefully, "No. We never do that."

I will never forget the tone of her voice.



Tansy Gold



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Altoid_Cyclist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 10:08 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. I always have to be extra careful when I'm around my wife's family.
They all meet at my MIL's house on Christmas Eve. They come from all over the US and I'm the only one who doesn't belong to the same religion as the rest of them.

One of her Aunts was telling me about two friends (from their church of course) who had recently died from ALS. She was saying how horribly they suffered and how painful it was to watch them go through that and that she hoped that nobody in our family ever has to go through that.

I made the huge mistake of saying that maybe people like Dr. Jack Kevorkian were right that sometimes the kindest thing to do is help hasten death when the situation is hopeless.

She tore into me and did everything but accuse me of having goat horns and a tail. She was so ticked off at me that she walked away from me and wouldn't speak to me the rest of the night.

All I know is that I have no problem with what I said. I do however keep my mouth shut when I'm around her family now.
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izquierdista Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 08:08 AM
Response to Original message
3. Will she get a jury trial?
If there are any humans on the jury, any with genuine human emotions, they should walk out and refuse to hand down a verdict.
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muriel_volestrangler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 09:16 AM
Response to Reply #3
7. It is a jury trial; other family members were talking about withdrawing treatment
But she did this on her own, after her first alleged attempt to kill him the previous year:

Mother seemed insane before allegedly killing brain-damaged son, court hears

Brother of dead man says Frances Inglis was in a 'constantly frantic' and 'crazy' state before son's death
...
On 4 September 2007, shortly after Alexander's father warned staff at Queen's Hospital in Romford that his wife posed a risk, Frances Inglis allegedly attempted to kill Thomas by injecting him with heroin, Alexander told the jury.

The drug caused a heart attack but Thomas survived, and while his mother was on bail for that attempted murder, she broke the conditions of her bail by visiting him in his care home and killed him with a lethal dose of heroin, it is alleged.
...
Shortly before his mother allegedly killed Thomas in November 2008, the Inglis family discussed applying for a court order to be allowed to withdraw hydration and nutrition from him in order that he die legally.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/jan/06/mother-accused...


I can see why they've brought this to trial. For one family member to decide to end his life without reference to others, or to the established procedure and law, can't just be shrugged off.
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vadawg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-18-10 01:16 AM
Response to Reply #7
18. yup opens all cans of worms if its okay to off granny frinstance without some debate
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WVRICK13 Donating Member (930 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 08:50 AM
Response to Original message
5. I Only Hope
someone would love me that much if I were in that situation. If I were on the jury I would never convict her for such a loving sacrifice.
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CrownPrinceBandar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 10:18 AM
Response to Original message
11. My friends know.............
and I have made it clear to them that if I become brain damaged, ridden w/ incurable, disabling disease in which I'm obviously suffering, or otherwise unlikely to make any meaningful recovery, I want to die. Living without any quality of life is not living, IMHO.

I feel for this mom. I hope the courts take her son's condition into consideration and show her some leniency.
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Mamacrat Donating Member (155 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 10:22 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. Modern Medicine Only Prolonging Death, Not Life
Edited on Sun Jan-17-10 10:22 AM by Mamacrat
I think much of our modern medicine ends up only prolonging a person's death, not their life. My grandmother had a stroke at the same age and on the same side as her mother had years ago. My great-grandmother got a little better briefly then died in her sleep. My grandmother, however, was given something to prolong her life, which means she spent a year simply wasting away to next to nothing. No one should have to go through that.
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TwilightGardener Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 10:40 AM
Response to Original message
13. He had a mixed prognosis--and still had emotions (which indicates awareness)--
She first gave him a whole 2 MONTHS before trying to kill him, and then succeeded on the second attempt. People with head injuries can recover at least somewhat, but it takes time--and stopping the poor guy's heart (and depriving his brain of oxygen) the first time she attempted to kill him certainly didn't help matters. She really sounds mentally/emotionally disturbed.
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The Backlash Cometh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-17-10 10:47 AM
Response to Original message
14. Why in the brain?
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grahamhgreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-18-10 01:31 AM
Response to Reply #14
20. into brain-damaged son...
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Terra Alta Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-18-10 12:32 AM
Response to Original message
16. I feel so bad for this woman.
I think she did the right thing. No one wants to see a loved one in pain, suffering, with no quality of life. What good are medicines to prolong life, if there really isn't much of a "life" to speak of?

If I ever end up in such a state, in so much pain but having no brain function or quality of life whatsoever...I really hope someone takes mercy on me and puts me out of my misery. This is no way to live.
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M155Y_A1CH Donating Member (921 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-18-10 01:07 AM
Response to Original message
17. At some point hoping for a miracle is a vain effort.
And you know it, but lack the ability, the courage even
to walk away from the chair beside the bed.
Even when they've gone from you in an irretrievable way.


I hope there weren't fiancial reasons. Inability to pay the medical bills as a motive would be a real kick in the pants.
:kick:
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grahamhgreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-18-10 01:29 AM
Response to Original message
19. I'd want the same.
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Roon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-18-10 01:51 AM
Response to Original message
21. I had to take my Mother off my living will
She would keep me alive and let me suffer for a long time instead of letting me go. I just found this out a few months back. The only problem is I have no one to replace her. All my other step/parents are all freepers too and would also keep me alive even though I had no chance of "living".


My sister is very liberal. I think I will ask her to be in my living will.

PS..what would you call someone who is in your living will who makes the decisions for you?
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Jax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-18-10 02:11 AM
Response to Original message
22. Thank you for the post mari333
It was my parent, not me.

thank you for all your posts Mari333.

Alyce
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Liquorice Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-18-10 02:23 AM
Response to Original message
23. After reading the whole article, I think she did the wrong thing. Something is definitely
weird about that mother. She was told that her son could make a recovery and be independent, and yet she still tried to kill him off only two months after the accident. I can't imagine anyone waiting such a short amount of time, especially when she was told he could recover!
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