OK. What happened to the Rapture?

[Erika]

The Fundies voted for W because he would bring the final war between the religions and the rapture would occur. I read testimony after testimony, including Pat Robertson, that W was ordained by God to lead the final war before Christ came again.

What happened and don't the Fundies feel a touch silly?

[Monkeyman]

1. Oh No Duck Its Coming NOT

[The_Casual_Observer]

2. Ruptured, I think.

[leftofthedial]

3. it came

it saw

it took the honeybees

[tblue]

12. And nobody told them they've been left behind already

[Cobalt-60]

4. Sorry I thought you meant the Blondie tune

I understand they made an interesting mash up with " riders on the storm".

[Captain Angry]

5. The Democrats are holding it up.

If those darn Democrats would just let Bush carpet bomb the region and set off World War III, then the Rapture is sure to come.

<cough>

I forget where I read it, but some interesting Rapture connections were made to explain Bush policy.

Why clean the air if the only people left to breathe it are evil?
Why clean the water...
Why help the poor...
Why make peace with your enemies...

[Bluebear]

6. It MUST be coming, this woman had a dream about a wedding dress:

"I had a dream last year and I was scrambling and looking everywhere frantically for my wedding dress.. well im not married nor engaged so I knew in my Spirit I was looking for the wedding dress for the Wedding Supper of the Lamb! I felt the HOLY SPIRIT speak to me in my heart that I couldnt find the dress because JESUS has it and He will be giving it to me!!
Well... this year, just a month ago or so my stepdad said he had a dream of me in a full wedding dress...well to me I interpreted that the LORD was telling me that the time may be almost here for HIm to come!! Boy i sure hope so..
Marantha!! Bo YESHUA!!"

http://rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=641

[Erika]

8. Now that IS funny n/t

[DeSwiss]

18. Jesus had her dress!?!?!?!?

[Bluebear]

24. I know, I know, but there it is.

:crazy:

[momster]

29. Multi-talented Jayzus

Not just a carpenter...a seamstress too! He can also bake a mean cake, paint a house, repair the Hubble, and win Dancing with the Holy (Gandhi's tango just won't be enough!), all at the *same time!*

If this chick wants to be a bride of Christ so bad, she should convert to Catholicism and become a nun, instead of wishing and praying for the destruction of the rest of the world.

[camero]

33. Wanna really freak her out?

Tell her you're naked in heaven. Oops.

[LibertyLover]

34. So now Jesus is a cross-dresser?

(yeah, bad pun). Hmm, I know that he probably wore long robes, but I never figured him for the dress thing.

[camero]

37. And a wedding dress at that

I thought they were aganist same-sex marriage.

[Canuckistanian]

43. Oh, that Jesus. What a prankster. n/t

[OrangeCountyDemocrat]

7. He's Here Another 19 Months. nt

[AtomicKitten]

9. It's late.

[orleans]

10. no worries. there is still time--it ain't over till it's over. n/t

[saltpoint]

11. I'm thinking they're waiting for the May sweeps.

[lady lib]

23. Good one!

:spray:

[jobycom]

13. It's Bush's fault. Jesus tried to get here, but he underbudgeted for the gas increases.

I hear he's really pissed and building a special corner in Hell all for the oil company folk behind it. Then he's got to get some more cash and get that VW bus running again. Might take a few more years...

[Erika]

15. That is truly funny. Thanks n/t

[babylonsister]

14. They're waiting for their next disaster, not realizing they've met him,

and they now own him.

[Erika]

16. You have such depth. Thanks with a smile. n/t

[Kurovski]

17. It shall continue to live in the troubled minds of 18% of our bretheren.

And the women folk, as well.

With God behind them, they never feel silly.

[nadinbrzezinski]

19. :LOKING AROUND:: Perhaps it never happened

the a-holes are still around...

Or if it did happen the joke was on them

;-)

[Raine]

20. They now believe that were by-passed

and instead of rapturing out they were left behind to live in hell right here. :evilfrown: :cry: It happened election night 2006 when the Democrats took control. :rofl: :evilgrin:

[nadinbrzezinski]

21. So who got raptured?

:-)

[DeSwiss]

22. The angels that God put in charge of the Rapture....

...attempted entry into the country with swords and other weapons of mass destruction. Of course they were immediately arrested by Homeland Security and later rendetioned to undisclosed locations.....

[lady lib]

25. Dunno. Maybe cause we're not "rapture ready?"

http://www.raptureready.com/

I'm gonna head over there and take notes!

[saltpoint]

26. Well SOMETHING must have gone wrong. Aren't we supposed to leave out

milk and cookies or something?

[xchrom]

27. dub-ya still has time. n/t

[JNelson6563]

28. Any day now......

Yesssirrreeee, annnnnnnnyyyyyyyyy day nowwwwwwwww............

As far as I'm concerned, can't happen soon enough!

Julie

[Bassic]

30. The dude that was on the daily show the other day

who succeded in preventing a teacher from showing "An Inconvenient Truth" said it was coming in like 5 to 7 years. I've marked my calendar :D

[Arugula Latte]

41. It's always juuuuuuust around the corner ...

and it has been juuuuuuuust around the corner for almost two thousand years. :rofl:

The gullibility of people is endlessly amusing, isn't it?

[Bassic]

47. Amusing, yet strangely frustrating sometimes

but we might as well just laugh at it :D

[elocs]

31. Any minute now. The Rapture is the carrot on the end of the stick...

always just out of reach. This is an example of how the fundies can twist and torture their own scriptures to make up something that nobody had ever thought about 200 years ago.

[TX-RAT]

38. twist and torture their own scriptures to make up something

Especially when rapture isn't mentioned in the bible.

[elocs]

40. No it isn't. If a new group came up with the theory of the Rapture,

the fundies would label them a cult.

[Telly Savalas]

32. There haven't been any Iran war prophecies here lately, have there?

When they show up again, you can peg this Rapture foolishness to them.

[dorkulon]

35. GWB's Rapture Report! (pic)

[formerrepuke]

36. It's happening now! Run! (pic):

http://www.unusualcards.com/occasions.html

[Arugula Latte]

42. Note to self: Script idea: Jesus vs. Godzilla. nt

[johnaries]

39. Well, the Rature Index is showing 160,

which is described as "Fasten your seatbelts!"
http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html

[hedgehog]

44. The Rapture arrives on the afternoon of the day that a working

economically worthwhile fusion reactor is developed!

[treestar]

45. Check the Rapture Ready board

The rapture has been scheduled many times and postponed, I believe July 7, 2007 is the next most logical date, unless the Israelis invade a nearby country any time sooner.

[The Straight Story]

46. There has to be a democratic president and not a rethug one in before rapture

The left will turn the country more liberal when it controls it all, thus bringing about the fall of religion, birth of the new earth religion, and sacrifice of ourselves and comforts for 'mother earth' - then we will please the earth by killing off many in the population, ala sacrifices of the old days en masse, because less people means a better planet (using germ warfare or something).

Rights to free speech will be limited, guns taken away (except for govt people of course, we can trust them), the age for sexual consent and drinking will be dropped to 13, churches will be taxed and ridiculed and those who go to church will be treated like evil freaks, etc and so on.....

THEN the rapture will come.

But we need Hillary in first, so look for the christian right wing to be secretly voting for her - this is why the rw preachers are telling em all of the above will happen, so that they know who to vote for to make it a go ;)

:rofl: