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ccharles000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 06:52 PM
Original message
Father forces sex on son
Edited on Wed Dec-23-09 06:53 PM by ccharles000
A ROCKHAMPTON dad is accused of forcing his son to have sex with a prostitute because he feared the 14-year-old was gay.

During a family barbecue around Christmas time in 2007, the dad allegedly phoned a prostitute and arranged to meet her at a motel on Yaamba Road, North Rockhampton.

The father drove his son to the motel and paid the prostitute in $50 notes.

The prostitute took the boy into a motel room while the father waited on a balcony.

The dad walked in and out of the room to check on his son and told him he wanted to see a used condom as proof that theyd had sex. After the boy and the prostitute had finished the dad took his son home.

A magistrate yesterday found there was enough evidence against the father for him to stand trial for the rape of his son.

Giving evidence during the committal hearing in Rockhampton Magistrates Court, the boys mother testified she questioned the youngster about where his father had taken him.

First (he) didnt want to say anything to me. Then he told me his father took him to a motel room and there was a prostitute there, the mother said.

He wouldnt talk, he just started crying.

Police first became aware of the alleged rape when the father phoned the Child Protection Investigation Unit on May 5, 2008.

http://www.themorningbulletin.com.au/story/2009/12/23/d...
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Thickasabrick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 06:55 PM
Response to Original message
1. Holy crap.....I am ashamed that there are people like that in this country nt
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kayakjohnny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:21 PM
Response to Reply #1
13. Not to excuse the offense but this might've happened in another country.
Rockhampton sounds like possibly UK or even Australia. The story's website is .au. I believe that might be Australia. And she was paid in $50 'notes' which sounds like foreign currency.

Any way, the crime is still a crime and the dad should be in deep trouble for this.
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Thickasabrick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. Thank you! I am relieved it's not here (not that it couldn't happen) nt
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valerief Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 06:57 PM
Response to Original message
2. Some men are beasts. nt
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:12 PM
Response to Reply #2
10. The prostitute is a beast, too. She's a rapist.
I can only imagine the poor kid in there, not wanting to go through with it... what was she doing? If she had a shred of decency she would have locked the hotel room door, and called the cops to inform them of what the father was attempting.

I'm pro-legalizing prostitution, so it has nothing to do with the fact that she's a sex worker.... and everything to do with the fact that she is a rapist.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:14 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. good point and hadnt even looked at it from that angle, but right on.
she knew he wasnt willing. she took money to rape the boy. part of it.

hadnt even looked from that pov
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. Exactly.
It's so sickening. I just feel so horrible for this child. He has his father standing outside, demanding he have sex with this strange woman, and this woman inside forcing herself on him to get the cash from his father.

Say nothing about the fact that the kid is just fourteen years old.

I can't imagine what the mother is thinking. If she hasn't begun filing for divorce, and told that man in no uncertain terms that he will never... ever... EVER... see his kids again...
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:26 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. it is amazing ignoring what the prostitute did, her part. so amazing, i had to post
below to draw the attention. why would we all not see that part of it. everyone is talking about the father. he didnt rape the boy. he just paid someone to.
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:47 PM
Response to Reply #18
22. He participated in the rape.
He forced his son to have sex with the woman. Although she did the physical act, he also participated, and thus is also guilty of rape. At least IMO.

I guess most people don't see it because:

1) The article rarely mentions the prostitute, primarily because she hasn't been found yet. (And I hope they hunt the bitch down. With dogs, if necessary.)
2) It's a woman. Generally when it comes to rape, most people associate it with men, but as this story proves a woman can also rape a man.

I remember a story from years ago, where a woman adducted a man at gun point, then forced him to have sex with her. People were trying to argue that it couldn't be rape, because he got an erection. I was left trying to argue that getting an erection is something a man generally cannot control... much to deaf ears. It was the same excuse used decades ago, before rape of women was taken seriously, about a woman having an orgasm during rape. The argument was mostly the same: It couldn't have been rape if she had an orgasm, it meant that she enjoyed it!

Ugh. Sorry, just typing that makes me want to puke... then go back in time and strangle those people.

I'm pretty sure there are people out there who've read this story, and have absolutely no idea why the boy was upset. Or they're saying, "I guess the boy really was gay! If he wasn't gay, he wouldn't be upset!"

Completely missing the point, of course, that he could be straight... but he's upset because he was RAPED.
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:12 PM
Response to Reply #22
26. The Internet proves me right... unfortunately.
I did a Google search on the headline, hoping to see other sources reporting this story (and thus perhaps gather more information)... and I stumbled upon these two places.

I'm pretty sure there are people out there who've read this story, and have absolutely no idea why the boy was upset. Or they're saying, "I guess the boy really was gay! If he wasn't gay, he wouldn't be upset!"

Completely missing the point, of course, that he could be straight... but he's upset because he was RAPED.


That's what I said above, and I'm proved right here and here.
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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:19 PM
Response to Reply #26
30. Regardless of your orientation, having your dad take such an unhealthy interest in your sex life...
Ick, just, ick!
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-24-09 02:25 PM
Response to Reply #26
75. .
Edited on Thu Dec-24-09 02:26 PM by seabeyond
tried to give a video, didnt work. tyt doesnt think rape. it is a male after all. but couldnt get right video up
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:19 PM
Response to Reply #22
32. and i am surprised du doesnt have its group hootin and hollerin how lucky the boy is
and how they dreamed.... when they were his age, and yada yada yada.
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:27 PM
Response to Reply #32
41. I know. This has happened in the past when female teachers were on trial for sleeping with...
...a male student. People would defend the teacher. However, if you switch the sexes around, they're ready to burn the man at the stake. All the while ignoring the double standards and hypocrisy.

Really, it comes down to sexism... You know, "He must have liked it. Because men like sex."
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:28 PM
Response to Reply #41
42. inevitably it was women calling bullshit and the men spouting off all manly. so
sexism it may be, but was coming almost exclusively from males.

raising two boys and growing up with brothers and always hanging out with males.... i have always called bullshit on that crap.
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:36 PM
Response to Reply #42
46. Yeah.
My world got rocked about how sometimes double standards apply to men after a guy I knew was involved in domestic abuse.... by his girlfriend. So many double standards. It really changed how I viewed things. It's difficult to watch a girl emotionally attack someone, then physically assault them, and watch other people stand around and act like nothing is happening... or mock him for it. Tell him he'd need to grow a pair. I watched her burn him with cigarettes for fun. Ugh.

Sorry, still boils my blood. I believe abuse is wrong in all cases, regardless of gender, and I cannot stand double standards.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:33 PM
Response to Reply #46
62. when i was a teen watched brother with a gf the would hit him in balls...
i would tell him, take her down. no he says. i am a tit for tat kinda gal. really, it is all wrong and leave the abuser. kids get into school and girls hit, pinch, scratch, push, kick and dont get in trouble. boys dare not protect self. and even when they tell a teacher, teachers response it man up.

i had one little girl, about third grade. told her dont hit, pinch, kick son. he is not allow to hit back. she says.... the POWER. my mouth fuckin dropped.

so yes, i see abuse as non gender.

doesnt mean that men tend toward violence, that hurt significantly worse, but not gonna shy away from females role either.
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:53 PM
Response to Reply #62
72. Exactly. I've seen all that as well.
It's the same situation for men as for abused women. It kills their self-esteem, although for men they try and play it off as nothing. They try and act tough, because they don't want to seem like "wimps." It's all so sad. No one should have to suffer abuse. No one.

There are many men in abusive relationships that refuse to fight back, for fear of hurting the girl... because men are typically physically stronger than women.

My mother cleared that up for me when I was a boy. A girl at school was pinching, kicking my legs, and punching my arm. I told my mother that I told her stop, but she wouldn't, and that I couldn't hit a girl because it was bad. My mother looked me in the eye and told me, "If that girl hits you again, hit her back. Don't let nobody be hittin' on you. I don't care if she is a girl. If she thinks she's man enough to hit you, then you hit her back." :P I ended up pushing her on the ground, causing her to fall on her butt, and told her that if she hit me again, that I was gonna hit her like my Mamma told me. LOL. I was like in second grade. She stopped after that.

I do my best to speak out when the topic comes up, because I feel it is a moral duty. The same is true for abuse in gay / lesbian relationships. As odd as it sounds, a lot of people don't realize that domestic abuse and violence takes place in gay / lesbian relationships just as often as in heterosexual relationships. Logically, you'd think it'd be common sense, but for a lot of people it isn't.

I've had several friends go through domestic abuse and violence, such as the aforementioned guy in the previous post. So I take it seriously. I know what it does to people.
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PSzymeczek Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #22
54. Solicitation of Rape
Wasn't that the premise of "The Accused"?
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:03 PM
Response to Reply #18
52. It was one of the first things I thought about. Along with what a shitty
father the guy was. If the prostitute knew his age and saw how uncomfortable he was, she is also sick. I don't care how hard up you are for money... The father, however, holds most all the blame for me because that is his child that he put through that. His 14 year old child. But both should be held liable.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:35 PM
Response to Reply #52
66. the woman raped. i put most the blame on her. she committed the action
the father gets his blame. but she raped.

think what we would do if a mother paid a man to do her daughter. and she is crying...
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:12 PM
Response to Reply #10
27. What she did was wrong but she was in a vunerable position
She was already performing an illegal act and could have been arrested if she got the police involved. Prostitutes often fear their johns (in this case the father) and their pimps. They are also more likely to be abused as children. These factors make it less likely that she'd do the right thing and refuse to perform.
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:19 PM
Response to Reply #27
31. And that's supposed to excuse the fact that she raped him?
She gets no sympathy from me. None. The police couldn't arrest her because she didn't commit an illegal act. She agreed to do something, but had she called the police instead of raping the boy, what could they have charged her with? No jury would have convicted her; she would have been a hero to have saved the boy from his father.

More likely, I'm thinking she was a drug addict, and raped the boy for the money to buy drugs. Many women enter prostitution to support a drug habit. Not all, of course, there are some women who genuinely enjoy the work. Without knowing more it's difficult to say.

Being abused as a child has nothing to do with it. It's making an excuse. That's like saying, if a man rapes a young 14 year old girl, that "Oh! He was abused as a child..."

People would never say that. It's a double standard. This woman is a rapist and deserves to be treated as such.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:20 PM
Response to Reply #27
33. she raped. that simple. nt
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proteus_lives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:32 PM
Response to Reply #27
61. She's a rapist and should be charged as such.
No excuses.
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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:17 PM
Response to Reply #10
29. Yeah, but that would put her in jeopardy too.
And who knows what kind of ungodly situation she's in. I do agree that she shouldn't have had sex with him but she may have felt like she had no choice.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:22 PM
Response to Reply #29
36. we are making excuses cause she is female? cause she is prostitute?
cause vulnerable?

she raped. that is all we know.

when i learn man held a gun to her head too.... then i may revise opinion. otherwise, rape
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:22 PM
Response to Reply #29
37. Switch the sexes around and would you say the same thing?
A mother feels her daughter is a lesbian. She finds a man, pays him, takes her daughter to a motel room, and then forces her daughter to have sex with the man. The man is clearly aware that the woman's daughter doesn't want to go through with it.

Would you say the same thing about the man in this case? If not, it's a double standard. The woman is a rapist. Pure and simple.
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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:26 PM
Response to Reply #37
40. It's a false comparison, given the reality of prostitution.
Your typical gigolo who caters to women is highly paid and a lot more autonomous than a typical sex worker, male or female, who caters to men. Maybe she was a high-priced call girl who could turn down clients as she wished. Somehow, I doubt it.
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:29 PM
Response to Reply #40
43. It seems you don't know a lot about male prostitutes...
...there are tons of men sex workers. Some are drug addicts, having sex for the cash to get their next hit. Others, especially younger boys, are forced into it by desperation (homelessness for example). All of the same reasons that a woman would be a prostitute equally apply to men.
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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #43
47. And they invariably cater to men. eom
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:53 PM
Response to Reply #47
49. And what is your point? A prostitute is paid to have sex.
It makes little difference if they're having sex with men or women. There are tons of straight men who are "gay for pay". I know a male exotic dancer (don't call him a stripper - he'll hate you :P) who hates this because... well for obvious reasons, they steal his clients. He also feels they disgrace the profession, and if asked, will go into a long tirade about the difference between a stripper and exotic dancer. None of which, really, is relevant to this topic.

What is relevant is this: If a mother paid a male prostitute, who was straight (Gay for Pay as well), to have sex with her daughter because she thought the girl was a lesbian... and the prostitute slept with men and women to support his drug habit... would you feel differently? If the gender roles of the people in this story were reversed, and otherwise EVERYTHING in the story - all of the surrounding circumstances were the same - would you feel differently?
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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:33 PM
Response to Reply #49
64. I would feel the same.
I'd think the mother was scum and I'd reserve judgment on the prostitute until I knew more about his/her situation.
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Fire_Medic_Dave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:33 PM
Response to Reply #2
63. and Susan Smith was the epitomy of motherhood. n/t
Since we are making blanket generalizations.
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valerief Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-25-09 06:51 PM
Response to Reply #63
76. I don't understand. I said some men. I just don't understand your point. nt
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FLAprogressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 06:59 PM
Response to Original message
3. what the fuck is wrong with this man?
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Ken Burch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:01 PM
Response to Original message
4. I'm also assuming the guy's wife is going to ask why he HAD the number of a prostitute
Especially if he had it on speed-dial.
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dysfunctional press Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:47 PM
Response to Reply #4
70. it's not that hard to get the number of a prostitute in england...
at least not the last time i was there- they put business cards all over the public phones. and they usually have some kind of humor involved.
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Ken Burch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:49 PM
Response to Reply #70
71. This was Australia, not England.
And that still begged the question of why a married man was hanging with hookers.
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dysfunctional press Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 10:16 PM
Response to Reply #71
74. there's nothing to say he was 'hanging with hookers'...
the idea behind their line of work is to be available, and not that hard to locate.
in england(at least london) they have(or had) those cards...
in the u.s., you can look in the yellow pages of just about ANY city or town and find a lot of listings under 'escort services'(wink, wink, nod, nod...)
and you can use the internet to find them just about anywhere on earth.

i'm guessing that it's no more difficult to find a hooker in australia, than it is anywhere else.
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TK421 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:03 PM
Response to Original message
5. I want ten minutes with this guy...in a room...nothing else, fucking bastard
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WeDidIt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:05 PM
Response to Original message
6. What a fucking sick thing to do to his own son!
Shocking!
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:07 PM
Response to Original message
7. Oh. My. God.
If my father had forced me to do that, I don't think there would be anything left for the court to put on trial. My mother would have killed him, cut him into tiny little pieces, and fed him to the dogs.

That poor boy. I feel so awful for him. My heart breaks... I hope his mother takes him and his brother, divorces the father, and the son of a bitch goes to prison never to see the light of day again... and the prostitute is found and joins him there.

Such an awful, evil thing... and something this boy is going to carry around with him the rest of his life. Whether or not he's gay is irrelevant. Having sexual intimacy with anyone, man or woman, is going to be difficult for him. His mind is always going to be drawn back to that time... and... I just hope he gets the help he needs to move beyond it.
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Wabbajack_ Donating Member (669 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:07 PM
Response to Original message
8. I'm not in favor of capital punishment
though sometimes I'm tempted.
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TK421 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:30 PM
Response to Reply #8
19. I completely understand your position...what a fucking asshole
the kid should get compensated for having such an asshole for a father!
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Blasphemer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:09 PM
Response to Original message
9. Ignorance which results in abuse... very sad and sickening... nt
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mnhtnbb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:15 PM
Response to Original message
12. Aussie asshole.
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TK421 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:33 PM
Response to Reply #12
20. this may sound a bit naive, but I've always thought that Australians were
Edited on Wed Dec-23-09 07:34 PM by TK421
more of a "laid back" ( no pun intended ) kind of people. A good friend of mine vacations there at least once a year ( he has a childhood friend there ) and he constantly tells me that Aussies are by-and-large a fairly accepting society. I'm not saying that assholes don't exist in Australia, but there seems to be a more liberal mentality there....or am I wrong about this?
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:52 PM
Response to Reply #20
24. From all I know about Australia...
...I'd say they are more-or-less as liberal as the United States. Based on the news I sometimes read about the country, especially when it comes to LGBT issues. I would say they are slightly more conservative than the UK, which puts them on par with the United States.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:24 PM
Response to Original message
16. as a poster pointed out. why isnt anyone seeing the prostitute as a rapist for money?
she is at least as bad as the father.
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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:21 PM
Response to Reply #16
34. Because she's usually getting raped for money?
Honestly, she may have some legal and moral culpability here but I put FAR more of the blame on the sick fuck of a father. And not just because he's a man. There are plenty of stories of women doing fucked up things to their kids like hiring strippers or sex workers for them or putting them in porn.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:23 PM
Response to Reply #34
38. she raped a boy. why would it be any different than a mom giving a boyfriend her daughter? nt
Edited on Wed Dec-23-09 08:25 PM by seabeyond
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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:31 PM
Response to Reply #38
45. We don't know her situation.
If she's a high priced call girl with some autonomy, then she could have called the cops and somehow convinced them not to arrest her too for being a prostitute. Or just risked arrest anyway because calling the cops would be the right thing to do. If she's under the thumb of a pimp who will beat the shit out of her if she doesn't bring him money, and also in danger of having the shit beat out of her by the father who wants to get his son laid, then she might not have the same option.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:39 PM
Response to Reply #45
68. you can make whatever excuse regardless she raped. life of a prostitute is hell
she is living the life. bottom line, she raped.
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Berry Cool Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:24 PM
Response to Original message
17. Disgusting.
Dad and prostitute never should have gone through with it. Sick.
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gardenista Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:41 PM
Response to Original message
21. Well, Dad, whether or not your son was gay
he is now a survivor of extreme sexual abuse and humiliation.

I hope the boy is getting competent psychological counseling.
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varelse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:51 PM
Response to Original message
23. Inexcusable
This is unpardonable.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 07:53 PM
Response to Original message
25. Horrifying. nt
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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:15 PM
Response to Original message
28. Ugh.
One time I watched one of those "Cathouse" shows on HBO and there was a scene where a father brought his son to lose his virginity with one of the prostitutes. He tearfully confessed to her that he was gay and she very kindly talked with him about it.

Seriously, though, what kind of fuckwad takes his teenaged son to a prostitute, regardless of his orientation?
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #28
55. You're posts are making me upset - here is why.
There is clearly a double standard in them. There are two sexist double standards at play in America.

The first: Men like sex, and therefore any sexual act performed on them they most likely enjoy.
The second: Women like sex less than men, and therefore are somehow less guilty of sex crimes (such as molestation or rape.)

I feel that you're committing the second, and in doing so, indirectly lending support to the first. I think this is far too common. It upsets me, because there are literally hundreds of thousands of boys and men out there who have been sexually abused by women. From being molested by mothers, teachers, or babysitters, or somehow coerced into having sex against their will (under threats, black mail, etc.)... so few come forward.

Few come forward because of the first sexist double standard. They feel that they somehow must have enjoyed it, because men are supposed to enjoy sex. Even when they don't want to have sex. A similar standard was applied to women decades ago when it came to being molested and raped. They are also afraid of coming forward, because they are afraid of being labeled as gay. If they are coerced into having sex with a teacher, for example, there is a fear that coming forward and saying they didn't want to do it they'll be labeled as gay... due to the first sexist double standard. After all, if a man didn't enjoy having sex with women, and men always enjoy sex, then they must like having sex with men instead, right? (Or so the logic goes.)

All I would like to see is a society in which both men and women, when they are sexually abused, KNOW and FEEL that it's OKAY to come forward. That it's OKAY to say no, and that it's not okay to be forced into having sex if they don't want too... and that there is no shame in being raped / molested, and that no one would look down on them for coming forward. Our society has made huge progress toward this for women, but for men... we still lag far behind. The same goes true for domestic abuse and violence.
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Hello_Kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:23 PM
Response to Reply #55
56. I fully agree with you re boys being abused.
I think that a grown woman taking advantage of a young boy is despicable, and every bit as harmful to him as a girl being preyed upon by a grown man. But when you put female prostitutes in the situation, it's not as straightforward as that. Given the nature of sex work in most places, to put the prostitute on the same level of agency as the grown man who exploiting both her son, and her, is probably wrongheaded. I'm not saying definitely, but probably. Again, do we know if this was an independent call girl, or a woman under the thumb of a pimp or in a brothel? For all we know, she's a sex-trafficked woman from overseas with no choice in the matter.
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:34 PM
Response to Reply #56
65. I understand that.
She might very well be a victim of human trafficking. If that's the case I can be more forgiving. Not all Pimps are cruel, and not all prostitutes have Pimps. We don't know the situation, exactly, but until we do I cannot and will not give her an inch of rope.

Most likely, and this is just my personal guess, I think she might have been turning tricks for drug money. That's how many women get roped into prostitution in the first place. It's sad, but in this situation it is no excuse.

If she is a victim of human trafficking then I can be very forgiving, because had she refused it could have very well meant her life... not merely a beating from an angry Pimp. I would think anyone with an ounce of moral fiber (and being a prostitute does not mean someone lacks it) would take a beating rather than rape a child. I know I would. I know plenty of women who would as well.

But at the end of the day, from the boy's prospective, it was irrelevant what position the prostitute was in... he was raped.

I just don't want people trying to dismiss that fact because he is a boy who was raped by a woman. It's not something our society really pays attention to, but boys are molested and coerced into having sex with women against their will all the time. It's an illness in our society that I feel must be called out, and stood up against, for the sake of the victims as well as future potential victims.
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marmar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:22 PM
Response to Original message
35. And if his son is gay, did this moron really think forcing him to have sex would change that?
This man is a towering idiot among idiots.
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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
39. WTF? That need needs a kick in the face!
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fascisthunter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
44. You Know That's Gonna Leave a Mark
on that kid's mind for the rest of his life. What a stupid stupid man.
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saltpoint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:46 PM
Response to Original message
48. In most places prostitution is illegal. Is it illegal where this happened?
Seems like it would be.

The prostitute is an adult, the young man is a minor, and the father is a fucking idiot.

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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:54 PM
Response to Reply #48
50. Not 100% sure, but I think so.
Although, really, her crime wasn't so much prostitution - it was rape. The boy was unwilling, and she forced herself on him in exchange for payment from the father. To say nothing about the boy being a minor.
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saltpoint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 08:58 PM
Response to Reply #50
51. Yes, I follow, but I'm still kind of appalled at the
parenting here.

It feels to me that the father is so far beyond ethical retrieval that the young man would be better off in a foster home, with accompanying supportive services.

It's none of the father's business whether his son is gay or straight. The father violated psychic domain. The prostitute really ought to have understood that whatever sum she earned for this stunt was not worth the emotional damage done to the kid, it being her vagina and Daddy's money.

I'm for legalizing prostitution but don't like the betrayal here by the father.
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:24 PM
Response to Reply #51
57. Completely agree.
I don't even want to imagine what his son must be feeling and going through. It brings tears to my eyes to even try. Betrayal is the right word. Along with cruel. Perhaps evil as well.

I'm pretty sure the father's logic went along these lines (and being gay I've heard them before):

1. Men like having sex, period. It doesn't matter what men have sex with they like it.
2. If his son has sex with a woman, he'll like it more than sex with men, and therefore it will make him straight.

I'm pretty sure that's exactly what the father thought as he went through with the act. In his perverted logic, he believed himself "helping" his son... meanwhile... the damage he's done to him is... it's almost beyond words. I can only hope that his father actually LOVES his son (somewhere, deep down), and will come to a full realization of what he did... and feel all the guilt and pain associated with that knowledge. That is perhaps the strongest punishment that could be inflicted - to know that you've participated in the rape of your own child.

Either way, the boy still has a mother. From reading the article, it seems that she knew nothing about it, and when she found out she was the one who contacted the police. So, I hope this mother plans to divorce the father, and ensure that he never sees his sons again. Meanwhile, he spends a very LONG time in prison. Then the prostitute is caught, and spends a very LONG time in prison herself.

...and on the outside, the poor boy gets the help he needs to overcome this. He's going to struggle with future relationships, whether or not he's gay or straight, he's going to be scarred.
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Gwendolyn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:27 PM
Response to Reply #57
59. No, it was the father who called child protective services.

He wanted the son investigated for supposedly molesting a younger child in the family. It's fairly obvious that the father has big issues with his son and seems to have wanted him out of the house.
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Meldread Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:36 PM
Response to Reply #59
67. !! I'll have to re-read the article!
I read the part where he claimed that his older son was supposedly molesting his younger brother. However, I didn't catch the part where the father was the one who called child protective services. ...probably because I was imagining myself beating the living hell out of the father.
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saltpoint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #57
60. Agree on the need for the young man to receive any and all support
he needs, having had to navigate something he did not want without defying a father he can no longer trust.

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Jkid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:07 PM
Response to Original message
53. Rape by proxy
It's disgusting that a teen is forced to have sex because of a father's fears that his son is gay. It's rape of the highest order because instead of the person doing the rape him/herself the person relies on another person to do it for him. I hope the father gets jailed for life.

I always knew that some parents may be desperate to 'cure' their children's 'gayness', but this is the one of the worst cases I've seen, and I knew this would happen.
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hunter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:27 PM
Response to Original message
58. A guy who could do this to his son could do equally awful things to a prostitute.
I wouldn't be surprised if the prostitute was as terrified of this monster as his son was.
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Monk06 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 09:44 PM
Response to Original message
69. So much for any bond the kid may have had with his father. That's gone n/t
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winyanstaz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-23-09 10:15 PM
Response to Original message
73. I know a woman that was grabbed off the streets of downtown Seattle as a kid...
she was gang raped, beaten, hair cut off, burned with cigarette butts,..sold as a prostitute to a ship load of soldiers heading for vietnam (none of whom would help her by the way even as she pleaded and begged them to call the police or her family and as far as I know..ever told anyone else so they could find and help her either) and her pimp shot her up with heroin to make her an addict and she was turned onto the streets. She was 14.
If the girls didnt do what their pimps told them to do...they were beaten with coat hangers, cut with razors (in places that didnt show easily) and burned with cigarettes until they obeyed...or they would just dissappear.
When she finally got away...and went to the police..she was told.."You had no business being downtown that late." and while they said they would investigate..no one was ever arrested..even though the gang was pointed out in mug shots and as far as I know they still operate in downtown Seattle to this day.
My point is..until I know 2 things I would be more leniant with the hooker. 1. Did she realize the boy's age (some kids are big and brawny look older than they are that live in the country and have a hard life.) and 2. Did she have a pimp forcing her to do this.
Either way she needs to do time.
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