All right, enough dithering-Let's start the War on Christmas

[underpants]

[ddeclue]

1. I shoveled shit in Louisiana?

:shrug:

[Libertas1776]

12. +1

[Lasher]

2. It started last month.

It's now called the war on Hallowthanksmas Eve.

[whyverne]

3. I shot that damn partridge in the pear tree. n/t

[Vinca]

4. Let's stomp some glass Christmas tree ornaments . . . at the grocery store.

[Kber]

5. Goodness! I've been so preoccupied with bringing socialism to my local ladies auxiliary

that I have just let this slip something awful.

I just don't know how I'm going to socialize my children's kindergarten class, support the government take over of the garden club AND finish my war on christmas shopping in time!!1!

Any advice would be more than welcome.

Signed - overwhelmed in NJ

[Hubert Flottz]

6. I heard that Santa has WMDs, lektrek drills and rape rooms...

and that he's friends with Osama Bin Laden's friends.(They do both have those beards) Also heard he has Aluminum Tubes and yellow cakes and cookies. Also trailers that make deadly death drones and atomic stockings and chemical sugar plums. May have been plotting with Easter Bunny Ali to take over Cinco West Virginia.

[SpiralHawk]

7. Why do republicon homelanders luv them Christmas torture?

[Hubert Flottz]

9. I guess they figure if they torture Santa they can find out...

where all the toys are stashed and steal them all for their own kids, so the "Librul's" kids won't ever have any fun. Fun should only be had by wealthy kids the way the Pubs see it. The Pubs didn't get enough of a kick out of exporting all the jobs and making all those kids poor, hungry, sick and homeless, I reckon. "Peace On Earth" is the last thing the GOP wants.

[Odin2005]

32. OMG, that is just WRONG!

:rofl:

[SmileyRose]

8. I have a dumb question

I was thinking of just shooting the baby Jesus at my local Mall but I can never remember if the baby Jesus flies in on the chopper before or after Santa. Anyone know?

[tavalon]

15. Before, silly!

Ready, Aim, Fire!!!!!!

[underpants]

25. Well a full review of Biblical scholars illustrates that the long held belief that.....

it all depends on where the Cinnabon is

[HopeHoops]

10. I mounted a gun turret on top of the van to take out tacky inflated lawn shit

FIRE!

[Mariana]

26. Hell, that's self defense! nt.

[jakefrep]

11. I'll join up right after the War for the Preservation of Thanksgiving

I'm getting my mashed potato and gravy cannon ready to fire at any premature Christmas displays.

[tavalon]

16. As a less amusing side comment,

I hate the stores from Thanksgiving until New Years. I'm really psyched this year to be using AmazonFresh.com to deliver my groceries and with the automatic delivery, it's almost as inexpensive as going to Fred Meyer and I don't have to go the grocery store at all! I'm just thrilled!

[StarfarerBill]

13. I'm an anti-capitalist;

that flies in the face of everything xmas means in this country.

[tavalon]

14. YEEEESSSSS!

This is my favoritest War ever!!!!!

[smoogatz]

17. And don't forget our anti-Xmas rallying cry--

Happy Holidays, motherfuckers!

[Viking12]

27. "Peace on Earth" is this year's slogan -- didn't you get the memo?

It was an insert in this month's edition of the Gay Agenda.

[smoogatz]

31. Dang! Missed it.

My Republican neighbors keeping snagging my copy out of the mail...

[rucky]

18. I just peed on Santa's lap.

[L0oniX]

19. I can't wait to go hunting for santas.

http://www.tclab.it/christmas/

[conscious evolution]

20. I'll unionize the elves

I'll also taake on the maids a milking.

[Brickbat]

34. When my son was younger, he asked us if the elves at the North Pole were unionized.

[Le Taz Hot]

21. Well, as a good librul, I decided this year

to remove Mary from my Nativity tableau and replace her with a 2nd Joseph. Subtle but should be good for a few cases of the vapors. :evilgrin:

[conscious evolution]

37. Thats a good one

[HippieCowgirl]

22. Locked & Loaded - Got my cartridge in a bare tree on the front lawn.

[Bigmack]

23. It's not "Christmas"... it's Mithra's birthday... nt

[ArbustoBuster]

24. Back in my day, the War on Christmas didn't start until after Thanksgiving!

Now you see sales on guns and flamethrowers the week before Halloween! It's crass commercialism.

[Viking12]

28. We're in a post-9/11 world johnny.

[rucky]

29. We need to get back to the true spirit of the War on Christmas. n/t

[SemiCharmedQuark]

30. YEAH!!! Here you go!!!

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/211034/november-23-2008/a-colbert-christmas--toby-keith-sings

[DU GrovelBot]

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[Johonny]

35. Santa promotes obesity

Sure he claims it's a genetic disorder brought on by "toxic" chemical exposure, but I can't help but think it has something to do with his eggnog and cookies diet. That and the fact he moves once a year and has everything done for him by his elven slaves.

[nadinbrzezinski]

36. You are late, trying to get the AA set

to nail Rudolph this year. You'd think that with that nose he'd be an easy target.