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Should people refrain from confronting right-wing relatives over Thanksgiving weekend?

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LoZoccolo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:27 PM
Original message
Poll question: Should people refrain from confronting right-wing relatives over Thanksgiving weekend?

Sorry, polls are turned off at Level 3.

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Mind_your_head Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:28 PM
Response to Original message
1. Don't consider it a confrontation.....consider it an "educational opportunity" n/t
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stray cat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #1
13. Are you willing to be educated by your relatives?
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timeforpeace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #13
25. Might as well go for it, show them what our side is all about.
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usregimechange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:29 PM
Response to Original message
2. All people deserve education
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:43 PM
Response to Reply #2
17. It is the pinnacle of arrogance to think that you are the only one in a position to "educate" others
Reasonable people often come to different conclusions and develop different attitudes from the same set of information. If you think you are entitled to educate your relatives, don't be surprised when they start trying to teach you something.

Enjoy your holiday meal, if you are capable of it.
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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:30 PM
Response to Original message
3. No, because I want to enjoy the day with my family. n/t
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Retired AF Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:34 PM
Response to Reply #3
34. Yes
Family is more important than hating folks you don't know.
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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:30 PM
Response to Original message
4. n/t
Edited on Wed Nov-18-09 08:30 PM by cynatnite
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Auggie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
5. Yes... I'll try
Got a holiday party a few weeks later with some right-wing clients. Another test -- this one with alcohol included.
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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
6. Yes, bringing up controversial subjects over a holiday meal is just poor manners
Suck it up for a few hours and talk about things you have in common.

If you have nothing in common with your relatives, you shouldn't be there in the first place.
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Speck Tater Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:32 PM
Response to Original message
7. No. Such arguments are NEVER productive. Therefore
one's only possible reason for stirring that pot is to cause trouble and upset everyone.
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cherokeeprogressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:32 PM
Response to Original message
8. I have no trouble putting politics aside for the purpose of sharing a nice day and meal
with my family. I'm not so consumed by my politics that it rules my life.
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southerncrone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:33 PM
Response to Original message
9. You won't change their narrow, ignorant minds, so let everyone just
enjoy the turkey & pumpkin pie in peace. It's a day to be thankful that humans can GET ALONG WITH ONE ANOTHER despite their differences. . . . just like the Indians tolerated the Pilgrims & shared their harvest with them. :grouphug:
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mia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:33 PM
Response to Original message
10. No!
Family is too important for me.
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Nikki Stone1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:34 PM
Response to Original message
11. Well, we could all go volunteer at shelters for the day and hand out turkey to the homeless
and their children. Then we could avoid the relatives AND live by our principles. :)
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dysfunctional press Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. actually, they prefer the help on regular days...
Edited on Wed Nov-18-09 08:41 PM by dysfunctional press
on thanksgiving, a lot of shelters are almost overrun with people who want to be able to pat themselves on the back for their one annual day of what they perceive as selflessness by serving the homeless..
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Nikki Stone1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #14
20. Not the one around me.
But then, we're ground zero for the housing crisis.
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pipi_k Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:25 PM
Response to Reply #11
28. I did that one time for Christmas...highly recommend it.
Actually, what I did was drive around and hand out meals to shut-ins.

It was one of the most meaningful Christmases I had since my kids grew up and left home.
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dysfunctional press Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:38 PM
Response to Original message
12. thanksgiving 2000 was not pretty, once my repuke mil had her second glass of wine...
and decided to break the strict 'NO POLITICS' rule that her daughter(my sil) had laid down as hostess.

it got...ugly. quick.

on the bright side- it was more than three years before i even considered attending another function on my wife's side of the family...those were good times.
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gratefultobelib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:15 PM
Response to Reply #12
26. Ah, yes. I remember telling my cousins to "eat shit and die" when they were making fun
of the hanging chads. My aunt had to physically remove me from the room.
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dysfunctional press Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:45 PM
Response to Reply #26
40. in my defense...
'although i did refer to her as a stupid partisan bitch', i was able to refrain from dropping the c-bomb in her direction(at the dinner table, anyway).

she STILL thinks that bushco was the best choice in both selections.
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Warren DeMontague Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:41 PM
Response to Original message
15. I think people should refrain from telling other people what to do over thanksgiving weekend.
But it's like, everybody's favorite pastime. I think I even just did it, myself.
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gateley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:42 PM
Response to Original message
16. Yes - refrain. Nobody will change anybody else's mind, and it will save you from
having to listen to their whack arguments. Relax and focus on the good aspects of those misguided relatives.
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fishwax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:43 PM
Response to Original message
18. it depends, of course, but I generally refrain
If one of the wingers in my family says something particularly egregious I'll say something back. But for the most part I'm not interested in talking politics with them because I generally see nothing positive coming from it for anybody. Occasionally a discussion will come up where I see positive possibilities, and I'll pursue it, but that's not really common. When they bring up topics that I sense might turn dangerous, I usually turn the conversation in another direction, excuse myself, or simply don't respond.
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dana_b Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:45 PM
Response to Original message
19. I voted "yes"
because we're going to the right-wing relative's place(my sister and family)for dinner! I can't be rude and, if we avoid politics, we get along great.
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HockeyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:53 PM
Response to Original message
21. I live with one (my husband)
but we are going to my daughter and son-in-law's for Thanksgiving. My older daughter and her SO(gay) will be there too. My husband will be OUTNUMBERED. He can rant and rave all he wants, but we are in the MAJORITY. I RAISED my daughters well. They love their Dad, but don't agree with his politics.
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Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:58 PM
Response to Original message
22. I don't confront rightwing relatives on the holidays or any other days.
Life's too short.
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Kaleva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:03 PM
Response to Reply #22
24. In the end, they are still family.
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FSogol Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 08:58 PM
Response to Original message
23. Make sure to laugh at the rw relatives. n/t
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pipi_k Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:21 PM
Response to Original message
27. Really really rude
If one is in one's own home and confronts a guest, causing tension and an unpleasant atmosphere, possibly ruining the holiday for others, it's rude.


If one is a guest in someone else's home and does the same thing, it's even more rude.


Jesus...can't people give it a break for only one damned day?

ONE day?


:eyes:

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Zywiec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:30 PM
Response to Reply #27
31. +100
Then we get to read countless threads about how they put some repuke in their place...

Stay classy!

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jesus_of_suburbia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:26 PM
Response to Original message
29. This WILL happen in my family. It always does. It will be 2 against 4.
Thank god for my sister-in-law (who is a Dem).


It used to be 1 against 4.


When my niece gets older, I'm pretty sure it'll be 3 against 4 :)






I don't think Holiday family time should involve politics... I HATE it. I'm already dreading it.


And I love being with my family, I just hate having to fight about politics... why in the hell does it always come up at times like this? It's just inappropriate IMO.


If we are getting together as a family, let's not fight. But my family WILL. It's a guarantee.


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Kaleva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:37 PM
Response to Reply #29
35. It takes at least two to fight.
Apparently, the four in your family have figured out how to draw you into a squabble. Ignore their baiting. If they persist, then find parts of their views you can agree with and concentrate on that. Smile all the time and laugh alot. Don't get personal. As a last resort, baffle them with bull shit. Agree with everything they say but go your own way once they leave.
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jesus_of_suburbia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-19-09 07:17 PM
Response to Reply #35
57. I'll try to ignore them for the most part when they start talking politics.
:)
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pipi_k Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:39 PM
Response to Reply #29
37. Tell you what I would do...
Since my stomach is very sensitive and easily upset by stuff like that, especially at mealtime...

I would make a Plan B. Maybe pick up a ready made turkey dinner and have it available at home. Then make it VERY clear to the family that if the same arguments happen this year, I'm OUT of there. Gone. Kaput.

And I will not attend any more family holiday get togethers unless and until people can be civil to each other.

I really feel sorry for you and wish you could have the same type of Thanksgiving holiday we always have with Mr Pip's family. I can't think of any time we got together and didn't have a good time, even the day his mom passed away. I love them because they know how to laugh.

Some of us are not on the same page, politically, but people generally care more about each other than they do about arguing and being "right".

I hope your holiday is better this year.



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jesus_of_suburbia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-19-09 07:26 PM
Response to Reply #37
59. "I hope your holiday is better this year." --- Thanks, it will be!
The only time it gets testy is dinnertime.

My dad will start the shit. I don't want to leave my sister-in-law alone. It's much easier now that I have an ally in support of a Dem President. I had no such ally when I was a kid during the Clinton administration (and there were 10 or so people talking shit about Clinton and I wouldn't say a word because I was a kid).


It's much better these days with my sister-in-law... she is a strong Obama supporter (she supported him in the Primaries actually, while I supported Hillary). Of course we both support Pres Obama now.... it's nice to have some support in the family.
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Guy Whitey Corngood Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:28 PM
Response to Original message
30. C - Is a shit statement? nt
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Generic Brad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:32 PM
Response to Original message
32. Only if they start it
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tosh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:38 PM
Response to Original message
36. I feel so fortunate....
there are NO right wing relatives in my immediate family AND we don't do the extended family thing for holidays any longer.

Yay!!!
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TK421 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:40 PM
Response to Original message
38. Yes...it's not worth spoiling my appetite over
after all, this is the meal I look forward to the most all year
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upi402 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:42 PM
Response to Original message
39. no, and bring sharp things n/t
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:50 PM
Response to Original message
41. No, in fact I'd expand certainly the after meal's discussion to include *any* RW nut-bag...
sitting round the table, or painting it
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amborin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 09:52 PM
Response to Original message
42. it's simply rude to discuss politics at a dinner gathering, regardless of who's involved
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guitar man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 10:04 PM
Response to Original message
43. Yes they are my family
Edited on Wed Nov-18-09 10:05 PM by guitar man
They choose and vote their beliefs and I choose and vote mine. We know where each other stand and respect each others right to our opinions. Besides , they are slowly jumping ship and coming to our side on their own, one by one without any prodding from me. It's better that way.
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Kaleva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 11:09 PM
Response to Reply #43
46. How you deal with your family is part of the great debate here at DU.
Some here in this thread have an "in your face" attitude when it comes to discussing politics with certain family members. And one can easily find examples of members who prefer confrontation and accept no compromise of any sort with the opposition in Congress and/or at the state and local level. Others are more pragmatic, accept that not everything can be accomplished, and prefer a more civil approach when dealing with the opposition.
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guitar man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 11:58 PM
Response to Reply #46
55. I'm passionate about my politics
But not so passionate that I'm going to alienate family over it, and they feel the same way. We have the mutual respect not to get in each others face about it. We are a small and close knit group that cares enough about each other that we don't let politics get in the way. Now, if somebody asks me what I think a out something i won't mince words in my answer to them.
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rucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 10:13 PM
Response to Original message
44. It depends. n/t
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tilsammans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 10:55 PM
Response to Original message
45. I ask the wingnuts where they got their information
I say, "Oh, really? I hadn't heard that. Can you show me that information?"

That usually stops them in their tracks, because their "information" came from RW blowhards Rush, Sean, Bill, Glenn, Michelle, Sarah, et al. :puke:

Somehow, then the subject magically gets changed.
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Love Bug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 11:32 PM
Response to Reply #45
47. That's the tactic I use, too.
You're right -- it always stops them because they are just repeating someone else's opinion as their own and aren't able to actually discuss whatever issue they are ranting about with any depth at all.
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Jakes Progress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 11:34 PM
Response to Original message
48. For sanity's sake,
People should avoid right wing relatives every day of the year.
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proteus_lives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
49. Try to avoid it if its an issue.
But I also don't understand why people start screaming or crying over fucking politics at the dinner table. I've sat through many family dinners that were one long political argument. We disagreed, no one converted anyone and no compromise was reached. But we didn't start screaming or fighting or making a scene.

I've never understand someone would put politics before family.
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madamesilverspurs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 11:42 PM
Response to Original message
50. Be gracious,
serve them the wing from the left side of the bird with stuffing and gravy, and let it go at that. . .


---
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Stevenmarc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 11:48 PM
Response to Original message
51. No and miss out on a plethora of apres Thanksgiving confrontation threads
Edited on Wed Nov-18-09 11:49 PM by Stevenmarc
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Kaleva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 11:52 PM
Response to Reply #51
53. It will make more room for the checkout line confrontation threads
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Ignis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 11:49 PM
Response to Original message
52. If you can talk, you're not eating enough.
That's the rule!
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Autumn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-18-09 11:53 PM
Response to Original message
54. i will spend 3 days over Thanksgiving with my
Edited on Wed Nov-18-09 11:54 PM by Autumn
right-wing relatives, and I will enjoy and treasure every minute with them. We love and respect each other. They are family. Politics are irrelevant.
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tammywammy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-19-09 07:22 PM
Response to Reply #54
58. +1 n/t
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HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-19-09 08:11 AM
Response to Original message
56. Offer to give the blessing and rub dogshit in their faces with this...
"And thank you Lord for giving us an intelligent and articulate president after eight years of a bumbling drunken buffoon."

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rurallib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-19-09 07:29 PM
Response to Original message
60. Nope - they don't shut up, I don't shut up
If they insist on bringing it up, I no longer back down. Most have learned not to bring it up anymore. I usually thrash them.
They may be family, but they used to make my family feel like we didn't belong. Ergo, I defend my territory. But we often look for more friendly people.
And they always start, so to me it is their decision to push us out.
I have one BIL who likes to get his little 'digs' in.
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