Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be

[Wetzelbill]

Apologies if this is a dupe. -WB

Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be

ESCONDIDO, CA—Spurred by an administration he believes to be guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 47, is a vehement defender of ideas he seems to think are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution and principles that brave men have fought and died for solely in his head.

"Our very way of life is under siege," said Mortensen, whose understanding of the Constitution derives not from a close reading of the document but from talk-show pundits, books by television personalities, and the limitless expanse of his own colorful imagination. "It's time for true Americans to stand up and protect the values that make us who we are."

According to Mortensen—an otherwise mild-mannered husband, father, and small-business owner—the most serious threat to his fanciful version of the 222-year-old Constitution is the attempt by far-left "traitors" to strip it of its religious foundation.

"Right there in the preamble, the authors make their priorities clear: 'one nation under God,'" said Mortensen, attributing to the Constitution a line from the Pledge of Allegiance, which itself did not include any reference to a deity until 1954. "Well, there's a reason they put that right at the top."

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/area_man_passionat...

[Blue_Tires]

1. ladies and gentlemen, I present the mind of the typical Ron Paul voter

[laconicsax]

6. !

[Subdivisions]

2. Bwahahahahaha!

[ck4829]

3. Ignorance is the most powerful weapon that the right wing possesses

Too bad this is the Onion, but I have heard many right wingers say exactly what that guy says.

[Wetzelbill]

4. I know

that's what makes it so hilarious, lol.

[FSogol]

5. This describes so many RWingers to a T. n/t

[ddeclue]

7. Oh crap it's the Onion again.. I thought this was real..

around these parts you'd never know it was satire.

Doug D.
Orlando, FL

[ddeclue]

8. Oh crap it's the Onion again.. I thought this was real..

around these parts you'd never know it was satire.

Doug D.
Orlando, FL

[AwakeAtLast]

9. That one was really good

I was falling hook, link and sinker right up until I read the link!



Great post!