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Fox News Reports: Millions of Grannies Flee U.S. as Death Panels Loom

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Contrary1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 01:39 PM
Original message
Fox News Reports: Millions of Grannies Flee U.S. as Death Panels Loom
Borowitz Alert.

:rofl:

Glenn Beck: "Run For Your Lives"

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - With the establishment of government-mandated death panels just days away, grandmothers began fleeing the United States in record numbers today, reports Fox News.

"I am never one to yell Fire' in a crowded theater," said Fox News host Glenn Beck. "But run for your lives!"

Across the country, slow-moving caravans of 1980s-era Cadillacs with turn signals blinking were making the torturous journey to the Canadian border, their back seats laden with cats, knitting projects, and bottles of Ensure.

Fox News may have set off the mass exodus by warning grannies that if they did not flee quickly enough they would face government-mandated organ harvesting.

Elsewhere, anti-healthcare protesters objected to the language of the House bill, saying there were too many polysyllabic words.
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onehandle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 01:41 PM
Response to Original message
1. Good. They drive too slow. And they drive Buicks, not Caddies. nt
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 01:42 PM
Response to Original message
2. Flee to countries with "socialized" health care
I would go in a heart beat if I could take my entire family with me.

What an idiot.
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Christa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 01:43 PM
Response to Original message
3. LOL
Fleeing to Socialism :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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FightingIrish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 01:43 PM
Response to Original message
4. It's sad that satire comes so close to the truth.
We'' be seeing crap from the right that comes awfully close to this.
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tularetom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 01:48 PM
Response to Original message
5. I had to check if my wife was still here
Better check my daughter, she's now a grandmother also.
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busybl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 01:54 PM
Response to Original message
6. Hey, I drive a buick. Oh wait, I am a grannie. never mind.
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Bitwit1234 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 02:04 PM
Response to Original message
7. If you google Reagan and socialism
you will see that his administration was considered more socialist than Obama, which isn't. Maybe we should go to all the republican sites, post the link which was out truthout and see how they like it. And one of the most lying, hateful and asinine websites is the one for WCBM the radio station in Baltimore Maryland. Nothing you read in the headline is even recognizable in the article itself. If you to read downright filth try it out.
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louis-t Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 02:19 PM
Response to Original message
8. In other news, republicans insisted 145 amendments
be added to the bill, then complained it was too long. :banghead:
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OHdem10 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 02:32 PM
Response to Original message
9. Pray tell, where are they running to???
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jmondine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 10:27 PM
Response to Reply #9
14. To London, where they'll live on the streets and harass fit, defenseless young men...
... and form the motorcycle gang, "Hell's Grannies".
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jmondine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 02:44 PM
Response to Original message
10. The Geriatric Journey
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oswaldactedalone Donating Member (284 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 02:52 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. If they're Faux News viewers
Edited on Mon Nov-09-09 02:53 PM by oswaldactedalone
then good riddance. The less ignorant there are among us, the better I like it.
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calimary Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 03:52 PM
Response to Original message
12. Hilarious! I love the mental picture - all those old Caddys with their turn signals going!
And the cats and the knitting and the Ensure cans in the back.

:rofl:
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zbdent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 04:40 PM
Response to Original message
13. uh oh ...
Dem landslide in 2010 ...
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HughMoran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-09-09 10:38 PM
Response to Original message
15. aww geez
:rofl:
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