My son is OK - he should be calling me soon. Some thoughts on this whole ordeal

[The Straight Story]

First off - I talked to my son's wife, she has not talked to him yet but is supposed to pick him up in a few hours and is anxious to talk to him. After they get together she is going to have him call me. She is anxious to hear his voice as am I. According to a call she got he is ok, so we are both happy about that. But still...

Here are my thoughts on it all:

1: Yesterday - without going into the whole history of my life let me just say yesterday sucked in ways I cannot even express here without writing a novel.

I was out on the porch, pacing and smoking and thinking about how to re-do a website for a friend, and I came inside to check the latest news on DU and elsewhere. TV was on and I saw a graphic of Texas and Fort Hood. Then I saw the caption and turned the sound up.

Now I didn't know how big that place was, I only knew my son was there. And I know that there has been a shooting there with multiple people injured or dead. It hit like a ton of bricks. Is he ok? So I grabbed the phone, looked up his cell #, and called him. His wife answers and knows nothing. I could hear one of my granddaughters in the background crying. My thoughts were - what if?

No words can describe what I was feeling. Fear? No, that does not even do it all justice. It is like having a whole life rush through your mind all at once. Like when I sat with him one day looking up at the clouds back when his mom and I were together - and thinking about how simple I wished life could be. He and I were laughing and coming up with all sorts of things that the clouds could be.

Right then I wished we could be back there again. It might seem a bit dramatic, and a day later to me it was really - but for hours I sat in limbo wishing I could just hold his hand again and look up at the sky and smile. And if nothing else, I would have been in hog heaven to hear his voice.

Hopefully in a few hours I will. Sadly some won't hear the voice of those they love. I am glad it won't be me, and that makes me feel selfish in a way. To be glad that it was someone else getting 'the call'.

Which leads me to:

2: Today -
So much speculation from so many sides. I don't care if it was a Muslim. A Christian. A person who hates the US for any reason. If there was more than one shooter, don't care. I don't care their faith, if they owned guns.
Some person went and killed/injured a bunch of people who posed no threat to them and forever changed the lives of a great many people. Nothing - nothing at all, was gained from their actions - except more pain and suffering.

For some it will be a lifetime of pain over the loss, for others (like me) it was only hours of crying and pain and worry.

BLAME? We want to find a reason, I want to as well.

For me, in the end, it has nothing to do with religion or what others have done to 'provoke' such an action. I have been through a lot of hell in my life but have never went off and killed someone over it....

*BUT*

Here is the rub. People say 'Well, I can understand why X/Y/Z would attack us because we did A/B/C to them at some time' and yet those same people condemn such thinking when our troops or others here use that same logic when talking about attacking people in other countries. To wit - "I can understand their hate and why they would attack us, but I cannot condone feeling that way when people here get all patriotic and want to do the same." - so only WE here in the US are supposed to be able to look at things logically and see the big picture whereas those 'savages' over there cannot do so and we explain away their actions.

They are not as civilized as us. Is that the message?

As mom used to say - "Two wrongs don't make a right."

You don't, just don't, hurt innocent people because someone associated with that group of people did you wrong.

It IS wrong when we (as a country or as individuals) do it, it is wrong when others do as well. If you think that it 'explains' what others do, you are wrong - because so many others do not do the same.

Whether Christian, Muslim, whatever - revenge against people who have done you no wrong is...well wrong. Period.

You don't need to 'understand' things. That is not to say one cannot strive to grasp the underlying reasons, there is a HUGE difference in understanding why one group (or one person) would want to do harm, it is another to excuse said harm.

You hijack a plane and crash it into a building - you get no sympathy from me for your cause. You shoot up a bunch of people because you don't like what the government is doing, you get zip from me in way of sympathy.

Timothy McVeigh and folks like him might well say 'well, we did what we did for a cause' - I don't fucking care, you hurt and killed people who had nothing to do with it, don't come crying to me and expecting me to be sympathetic to your cause.

None. Zero. Zip. I won't excuse your vicious actions against others.

Steal food for your family because they are hungry? I can get that. Don't have car insurance because you don't have enough money for it? Ok, I get that. I get a lot of things.

But shooting, harming, killing someone else because some other group/person did wrong by you? I ain't buying it.

My son could have just as easily been one of those killed yesterday, and he has not in any way done wrong by the killer or even those who might in anyway been associated with him

I don't condone what the US has done in some wars, and I sure as hell won't condone what others have done.

Wrong is wrong. Period.

[Coventina]

1. So glad to hear your son is safe.

And I agree with your post 100%

[Arkansas Granny]

2. I'm happy to hear that your son is OK.

[crim son]

3. Let us know when you hear from your son.

As for the rest of your post, RECOMMENDED.

[Sebass1271]

4. I am glad your son is ok and that you will

be able to hear his voice. What a great feeling that must be! and I agree with you, what is wrong is wrong. No excuses.

[The Straight Story]

6. Keeping the phone next to me like a baby :)

I can't even describe what it will feel like to hear his voice.

Went for 8 years not knowing where he was, used to read obits in papers where I thought he lived at the time - as well as sports pages and such, just to see his name. Then we found each other, etc, and eventually he left to join the army so he could provide for his family.

He'll probably laugh at me a little for being so worried, I don't care - to hear him laugh will be nice.

Soon, soon I will get to hear my boy and even though I know he is ok already gonna cry.

Our usual weekend calls won't be the same this weekend. And shame on me for forgetting the lessons I learned long ago and forget.

You know, the ones about 'if I only knew this was the last time, etc, I would have done x/y/z'

[virgogal]

5. You are expressing what I felt on 9-11. I had two kids in harm's

way and it was an awful couple of hours until the communication lines were open. They were both okay,albeit quite shaken up.

I wish you well.

[aquart]

11. It never occurred to me until just this second

That when my mom called on 9/11 and told me to turn on Channel 2, she was calling to make sure I was home, not just to tell me something happened downtown to a place I was constantly prowling around.

[lyonn]

7. So happy for you!

Such a moving comment. These kinds of actions makes no sense. Sounds like brains, grey matter, gone mad. The repubs that get on the steps of government buildings and use code words for doing others harm just drive me crazy, poor terminology there, and sometimes come right out and ask people to rebel with arms. This just spurrs on those that are already on the edge.

Enough babble. Again, such good news.

[The Straight Story]

9. Thank you, and screw those who use hate as an excuse

No country, no group, none in this world are without blame - least of all my sorry ass.

If you want to stop the hate and the violence, it starts with you and your actions.

Be good to others, a candle on a hill as it were.

And no matter what, don't use me as an example Cause I can be just as bad.

Hopefully someday I will live up to my own ideals.

[Neecy]

8. I'm glad he's okay

You've been in my thoughts, and this is good news.

[The Straight Story]

10. Thank you and others who have helped me through the last 24 hours

I cannot express here in words what I felt or how much it meant it to me that I had someplace to go and vent.

You all helped me make it through the night. May seem silly or dramatic to some, but to me it was scary and painful.

My friends here, like you, made a bad night a better one.

Thank you.

[TK421]

12. Your son is OK.....be thankful for that- I can't imagine what the families of

those other soldiers are feeling right now, but as selfish as this may sound ( and it might ) be thankful it isn't yours the MSM are talking about in the body bags....just be thankful

[nadinbrzezinski]

13. Hugs and take care

and enjoy listening to your son's voice...

[w8liftinglady]

14. when my son was in Iraq-I know the feeling

"roadside bomb outside of Taji kills 4 soldiers"-and you selfishly pray that one isn't yours.What seems like centuries until the names are released.The relief.

[The Straight Story]

15. Amen

I feel so bad for those that lost a loved one, but so glad it was not me - so glad my granddaughters still have a daddy.

I don't even know how to explain it all. I do so feel for others in this situation, in ways it is hard to describe, and yet feel so good because I have my boy to talk to later on.

I dunno, I just wish I could write what I feel right now but I cannot.

[blm]

16. (( ))

.

[GreenPartyVoter]

17. Glad he is ok!

[noiretextatique]

18. i have been thinking about you and checking the other thread

for an update. so happy to hear that your son is ok i know you went through hell yesterday.
wrong is wrong...period.

[sellitman]

19. Unfortunately I know the fear that went through you.

I won't bore you with the details but I know first hand.

Glad your worst fears didn't materialize.

Mine didn't either but it's something that cannot be explained.

[LeftishBrit]

20. So glad to hear that your son is OK!

[JohnWxy]

21. glad your son is okay. This was a particularly cowardly, heinous crime. What makes me furiuous is

this idea of attacking the country you disagree with by sneaking up on people who are unaware of their jeopardy and killing them. This is so contemptible. Another hit like the WTC. Coming from a twisted coward who has enjoyed the benefits of living in the U.S., being a citizen and then killing people to attack the country which gave him so much. This perpetrator is just defecation.

[SeattleGirl]

22. I'm glad your son is okay, TSS n/t

[TwilightGardener]

23. Glad he's all right.

[susanr516]

24. I am so glad to hear your son in OK

And you are right. Revenge against people who have done you no wrong is wrong. Period.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

25. I believe killing innocent people should ALWAYS be punished. nt

[mike_c]

26. have you thought about all the people your son's organization kills for revenge...

...all around the world? I agree with you completely, but the cycle of violence starts somewhere and ending it always requires that someone step back and not take whatever whacks they feel they utterly deserve. The millions we've killed in Iraq since the gulf war, the tens of thousands of Afghans who had absolutely nothing to do with any harm to the United States-- they were the first ones I thought of when I read your words: "revenge against people who have done you no wrong is...well wrong."

You say "Timothy McVeigh and folks like him might well say 'well, we did what we did for a cause' - I don't fucking care, you hurt and killed people who had nothing to do with it, don't come crying to me and expecting me to be sympathetic to your cause." I agree, but I wonder whether you'll extend that same righteous anger toward your son and his comrades for the revenge they are wreaking in the Middle East? SOMEONE must stop the cycle of violence, and we, as the one of the primary perpetrators of violence around the world-- must be the ones to say "Enough blood is enough."

Peace be with you, and your family, and our nation.

[lonestarnot]

27. Oh man, I didn't know he was even there.

Good to hear he's ok!

[TuxedoKat]

28. Glad to hear he's okay

and thanks for letting us know.

[niyad]

29. too late to rec, but will kick just in case anybody missed that your son is okay.

so glad for your family, so very sad for those whose loved ones were killed or wounded.