Be rapture ready - Hire an atheist to take care of your pets

[Mass]

http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/comments/atheist_bas... /

Atheist-based business offers fundies adoption service for dogs left behind by The Rapture



What a hilarious, brilliant idea.

Christians who believe they’ll vanish from Earth in the rapture can now hire an atheist to care for their pets.

For $110, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets offers a 10-year contract guaranteeing that an atheist will adopt the pet that’s left behind by its raptured owner. Additional pets can be covered for $15.

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets has guaranteed atheist reps in 22 states (NC is a new addition, as is GA).


Oh, and if God takes you prior to the Rapture, there’s no refund: “In the event of the death of the subscribing pet owner prior to the Rapture the contract will remain in effect. EE-BP will continue to honor the contract for the remainder of the contract period. We do not adopt / rescue animals except as a result of the Rapture occurance.”

...

[Robb]

1. I want in.

IPO, I'm sooooo there.

[rd_kent]

2. This has been out for a while and was posted before.

Have they had anyone sign up? Why not? Do they not really believe that the rapture will happen or do they just hate their pets?

[Fla Dem]

3. Actually, I would think pets would be "taken" as well.

They are surely pure of heart.

[rd_kent]

5. But they are unable to "accept Jesus" as their savior, so no deal.

[Mariana]

11. That doesn't matter, because animals don't sin.

What do they need Jesus for?

[rd_kent]

23. They don't. Thats the point.

[Mariana]

24. Then what's to stop them going to heaven? nt.

[Fla Dem]

6. Oh heck then, I want to stay with my pet. n/t

[Tesha]

7. The mice (pan-dimensional beings that they are) will vanish.

The rest of us will still be here.

Tesha

[Prophet 451]

17. But what about the dolphins? n/t

[Tesha]

20. Most are going, but some are staying behind for more fish. (NT)

[stray cat]

10. they love their pets but are smart enough to know a scam and that atheists lack integtrity

and don't love animals (that would be the opinion)

[mitchum]

16. Or maybe they are just chickenshits who actually doubt the "certainty" of their convictions?

[rd_kent]

22. Bingo!

[rd_kent]

21. Smart enough to know a scam? Really?

WTF do you think their religion and all the "rapture" BS is? A SCAM!

smart enough my ass.....

[Quasimodem]

4. With the possible exception of my girlfriend's cat

Everybody's pet stands a far greater chance at being judged a true Christian than their owners.

[RC]

12. I do believe your are correct.

Very few Christians actually follow Christ's teachings. They pick and chose from all the rest of whichever of the Christian Bibles that they believe in.

[Angry Dragon]

13. Perhaps your girlfriends cat just has taste.......

[madrchsod]

8. i`m a believer in christ`s message so i`ll be around

i got a nice back yard for a couple of critters....

[stray cat]

9. also need someone hired to sue those who don't honor their contract

or to just knock them off for not taking care of the pet.

[glitch]

14. ROFL! Thanks for that. nt

[ThoughtCriminal]

15. Aren't they afraid?

That we might use them for satanic sacrifices after they are gone?

[Prophet 451]

18. I wonder if I can get the UK franchise?

OK, "Rapture ready" fundies are a tiny background noise here but I figure there's go to be at least a few.

[winyanstaz]

19. Now that is a job I would like :)

These people should get a medal for job invention