Dear Ladyhawk, Please fuck off and die. Love, The State of California

[Ladyhawk]

Dear Ladyhawk,

We're so sorry about cutting your disability income by $50, bringing your gross income to $850 a month. We know it's not enough to live on and that you're stuck begging from your fundamentalist, extreme right-wing family, but frankly we don't give a shit.

We know there are many like you who suffer from severe, treatment-resistant depression. We're sorry, but we had to cut back on funding for mental health, even though your county has the second highest suicide rate in the state. We're very sorry your psychologist friend, your psychologist and psychiatrist bugged out on you, but we can't afford to pay them. You see, we're all much too busy sitting around our beautifully-appointed mansions with our thumbs up our asses.

Sorry you can't find anyone to replace your psychologist, but your county is full of redneck fundamentalist Christians who don't know the difference between Freud and fraud. Well, truth be told, they tend to get the two mixed up.

As for your last appointment, we actually told the psychologist to say, "So you think you deserve more?" in a superior, sarcastic voice when you complained about the lack of health care. (Well, OK, we didn't tell her to say that, exactly. She just absorbed it through years of feeling superior as a Republican fundamentalist Christian.)

We thought it was immensely funny. Didn't you?

We're also very sorry Medi-Cal recipients cannot seek mental health care out of county. You can seek help for nearly every other ailment, but not mental health. It makes you wonder if we planned it this way, doesn't it? Kill off the crazies, make things less expensive for the rest of us?

Honestly, it's not a plot to kill you. We simply don't care enough to change the law.

We're sorry you've had to call suicide prevention a half dozen times over the past three weeks or so. At least that doesn't come out of our pocket, thank God. We won't be spending any more money on you, you worthless leech on society.

Oh and by the way, the federal government won't help you, either. They're too busy bombing random brown people and paying off the banks that drove us to the brink of financial ruin, which led to our cutting off access to mental health care.

And the liberals? Puh-lease. They're too busy congratulating each other over electing a center-right black man. They aren't going to help you.

They don't care about you.

WE don't care about you.

NO ONE cares about you.

Please fuck off and die.

Sincerely,

The State of California

[annabanana]

1. Oh my poor dear Ladyhawk. .

I am so sorry you are being so royally screwed over. I care about you. :hug:

[roguevalley]

44. This is so wrong. I don't know what to say, honey, but I love you. You

have had such a hard road for so long. :(

[Ladyhawk]

112. Thanks, roguevalley.

I always enjoy your posts and your signature with the cute little Dachsund standing on his hind legs. :)

I've had treatment-resistant depression for over twenty years now. There has to be something that can be done.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

2. I thought it was "Caulifornia"

I'm sorry for what has happened.

[wndycty]

3. While I feel for you, Obama is not center right

. . .on by the way, nice mention of race.

1) He is closing Gitmo, though not as fast as promised--that ain't center right

2) He is working hard on passing a revolutionary health care reform bill, that even if it does not give us a public option is far more than ANY OF US could have imagined in 2004--that ain't center right

3) He is doing what he can to pull us out of Iraq--that ain't center right

I can go on and on, he ain't center right, and while I wish you the best I will push back when you call him center right.

[derby378]

5. If he signs a bill with no public option, THAT'S center right

It turns the bill into a big giveaway for Big Insurance. And we'll be forced to cough it up for the fatcat CEOs in the form of a new tax.

[SammyWinstonJack]

59. +1 nt

[keepCAblue]

98. +2

[Selatius]

8. I generally disagree. Obama's economic policies are center-right.

If he were center-left, he would've been arguing from single-payer and negotiate to the center with the Republicans. Or, he would've started from the position of opening up Medicare to people under 65 and allowing them to invest/enroll in it. Instead, at the very onset of the debate, he conceded the entire notion and gave it up as a bargaining chip.

Of course, as a matter of opinion, I'm not passing this as objective fact. The only frame of reference that I could use is Europe and Japan's experience with health care. Several European countries use private health insurance as the mode to deliver care to everyone, but even they have extremely stringent demands on the health insurers, such as they be restricted in terms of over-head costs, executive compensation, lobbying activities, and even the size of annual profit margins. The German model is a great example of that, but the bill that is currently under consideration gives health insurance companies far more leeway than what the Germans would dare to do to their citizens.

Also, Obama never really campaigned as a fair trade kinda guy. He tends to belong closer to the neo-liberal school of thought that pushes free trade. If you wanted fair trade, then you should've voted for either Kucinich or Edwards.

[donco6]

9. Uh, yeah he is.

Not that he hasn't done some good stuff, and not that I didn't vote for him, because I did. But he's a pretty classic center-right guy.

[Berry Cool]

14. I disagree. He only looks that way because the right has gone so wacko

and because he hasn't been held to everything he said he would do.

[gleaner]

17. Right now he is performing ....

like he is "center right." You have just delivered the short list of promises he has not yet kept that he said he would take care of immediately during the campaign.

If there is no public option or single payer then there is no insurance reform, just the status quo relabeled and passed off as something helpful when it won't be.

I don't see him taking any active measures to close Gitmo. He talks about it, but he doesn't do it. I don't see any movement to leave Iraq. He talks about it but he doesn't do it. He consulted with and pandered to the Republicans on health care until it is such a mess it might not benefit anyone.

Push if you want to, but it doesn't change facts. You are entitled to admire him as much as you wish, and the rest of us are entitled to our opinions as well, even if they differ from yours. He hasn't accomplished much, he has let us down on what he promised to do and now he is sabre rattling at Iran and Pakistan, both ways to guarantee that the existing wars will never end. I don't know what it is he's doing. I supported him based on what he promised during the campaign. I liked him and trusted him. Now I feel like I have been sold out.

It didn't have to be the way it is, but Obama is a sitting president from the same party that controls Congress. It might be nice if he would speak to some Democrats and let the Republicans go into the obscurity they belong in.

[saracat]

19. Obama is just a politician. Ladyhawke is a human being.

[bobbolink]

23. Very compassionately said. thank you!

:hug:

[datasuspect]

71. obama will never have to worry about quality healthcare for the rest of his natural life

[bobbolink]

20. I know it bugs the hell out of you, but some of us differ. Compared to Nixon and Eisenhower

yes, too bad, he IS center Right.

Get used to it.

You want to "push back" on someone who is having a hard time just hanging on?

THAT, my dear, is Center Right also.

Your compassion is unexciting.

Deal with it.

[waiting for hope]

50. +1 bobbolink ...

:hug:

[ruggerson]

49. can't you take time out for two seconds to forget about Obama

and absorb what she is saying?

[bobbolink]

74. Amen. Compassion. We're watching.

I seriously doubt that Obama would be proud of someone who, in his name, ignores the pain of another.

[omega minimo]

60. He sure as fucking hell IS and this is NOT the moment to be snitty about it

:evilfrown:

[pecwae]

81. Oooh, nice.

A veiled accusation of racism and yet you can go on and on.

The OP did NOT mention Obama, the OP was NOT about Obama. The OP was about the OP and if you really cared you would have kept your comments to yourself.

[hootinholler]

88. He effectively took single payer off the table for a public option

That's Center Right.

He's looking forward instead of bringing war criminals to justice, that's at *least* center right.

I can go on too.

He is at least center right.

-Hoot

[DontTreadOnMe]

91. HUH?

re:

"1) He is closing Gitmo, though not as fast as promised...

2) He is working hard...

3) He is doing what he can...

I can go on and on..."



I voted for Obama and support Obama... but, c'mon... this is what you are touting as his accomplishments? Three incomplete items.
Give me a PM when you have some items in the "Done" column.

[Scruffy1]

92. Oh yes he is

As much as I admire and respect him he's definitely center right. The banks got their bailout and home owners got sold out. Where is the promised mortgage relief? The stimulus bill was gutted by republicans and he signed it. Health insurance companies and big Pharma in secret meetings are driving the agenda along with the bankers. Just because he's a far better alternative than the old fraud McCain
doesn't make him what he isn't. Who he picked as insiders tells the real story.

[Butch350]

99. Thank you for the clarifying that point.

[TBF]

104. Is that your idea of a compassionate response to a person who is hurting?

I am amazed by your lack of sensitivity and determination to market your candidate rather than simply consider the OP and how this person feels. Unbelievable.

[Ladyhawk]

113. Um...you missed the point of my post entirely.

Since you totally digressed from the point, I'll address the petty concerns of that one paragraph:

I voted for Obama. I supported him over Hillary by a wide margin. Obama's race never even crossed my mind when I decided to vote for him. However, I never trusted him or any of the other politicians on the Democratic ticket (with the possible exception of Dennis Kucinich). I felt then (and still feel) they are nothing but tools for the status quo.

For about six weeks I gave Obama the benefit of the doubt, but it became obvious he is hardly the savior he made himself out to be.

The reason I mentioned his race is that a lot of people who voted both for and against him made an issue out of it. Some of those who voted for him and celebrated his victory were so proud the race barrier had finally been broken they didn't take into account some of his failings. Paradoxically, some idiots on the right were so angry an "uppity black" was elected they didn't take into account his strengths.

What I see regarding Obama is a dangerous cult of personality. Attention has shifted away from the issues to the man himself. In some cases, his race has been used as a tool by both sides for political gain. People are so busy adulating or attacking the man, they’re forgetting about the issues...like say, health care for the mentally ill.

[bigwillq]

127. Good post here.

Hope you get the help you need. :hug:

[Lagomorph]

4. You forgot...

By the way, you owe the US Treasury $190,000 dollars and we need it now. Please attend to this promptly.

[AnneD]

6. I hope this is along the lines of Jonathan Swift's

A Modest Proposal, otherwise I withhold comment

[NNN0LHI]

7. The don't call him the Terminator for nothing

[Berry Cool]

10. I am so sorry.

I wish there was something else I could say.

Can't think of anything but... :hug:

[EFerrari]

11. You got them down cold.

:grr:

:hug:

[Ladyhawk]

114. Thank you.

I cried the whole time I was writing it, but it really did feel inspired. I just wish it made even the slightest bit of different for you and me and everyone in California who is feeling the pinch.

I honestly have no idea of what to do. Even if I did, I'm not sure I could summon the energy needed to do it.

I hope you are feeling OK. I've been meaning to read your posts (especially the one about moving) in the other forum, but lately when I read those posts I keenly feel the pain of others. Either that or I'm just so angry I can't even begin to be civil.

Califuckedupistan, home of the angry, fed-up hordes.

[nadinbrzezinski]

12. This too shall pass, the problem is how many people will die

because of this idiocy.

Hugs

[donco6]

13. Dear Ladyhawk, for what it's worth, I think you're great.

Sincerely,

donco6

[barbtries]

15. don't fuck off and die ladyhawk

we care :hug:

your letter is powerful and should not be limited to only the eyes of DUers.

[Ladyhawk]

116. Where else shall I send it?

I'd prefer anonymity. Just look what happened in a "liberal" forum. This small, conservative town would explode over a "letter to the editor" like this. Also, I'm pretty certain "fuck" and "shit" would be bleeped. :) Fuck 'em.

[Ruby the Liberal]

16. Oh honey - I am so sorry you are going through this

:hug:

[saracat]

18. I am so sorry Ladyhawke. You make my health care issues seem petty.

You are absolutely right on in what you say.Don't give up. Please .We need people like you to speak out and hold the politicians feet to the fire. Bless you Ladyhawke.

[Ladyhawk]

117. I don't know what your health care issues are, but I doubt they're petty.

What I'm trying to say is there should be health care for you, for me, for all of us. It's the government and the conservatives who think health care issues are petty.

That said, I really do sometimes thing they're trying to kill me. I've been at this for twenty years. I make a little progress and then have a relapse. Each time it's harder to get back up.

I really might be screwed for good this time. I don't know yet.

[bobbolink]

21. I know this isn't worth the electronic paper it's printed on, but *I* care.

FUCK all the uncaring shits you have been dealing with.

You are valuable to us, and we want you HERE!

:hug:

[pitohui]

22. i'm sorry what an awful mess

i wish i knew what to say

WE care about you, a lot of people do, unfortunately i think most of us are abt in the same mess financial as you are and feel frustrated to know how to show that we do care

i don't know what to say or do


people are killing themselves right and left in louisiana, apparently the suicide rate has doubled, and we're actually not even having the same financial problems as california, since in an ironic turn of events re-building the mess caused by katrina at least has created jobs

[Ladyhawk]

118. I'm sorry. Awhile back I "predicted" suicide rates in California would increase.

Generally speaking, they've increased across the board.

http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2009/apr/05/economic-plunge-cited-factor-suicide-rate-spike/">Economic plunge cited as factor in suicide rate increase

Why do you suppose Louisiana is having such an increase in suicides if the economic conditions are not as severe? Maybe Katrina left behind some severe PTSD?

[treestar]

24. Your first paragraph explains why right wingers always want the government

out and charity to be the only way we help each other. So they can have control, and control behavior.

I think the liberals do care, and would support the needed law changes. If only the media would pay attention to your story rather than running story 7,456 on the idiocy of Sarah Palin.

[Synnical]

25. I apparently missed something here?

[sudopod]

26. *hug* nt

[LynneSin]

27. You know I was almost going to recommend this until I read the last part

I'm sorry but Obama is out there fighting as hard as he can to get this healthcare reformed and public option made available. I realize that you have some serious challenges, mainly from the State of Californa, but Obama isn't to blame for them. Busting on him ruined what could have been a very effective post.

If it means anything, family practitioner can write out prescriptions for most depression medications. I know in Delaware it's a 4 month wait to get an appointment but when i felt my depression returning, my family doctor wrote out the prescription I needed.

[saracat]

28. So compassion evaporates for the person if they don't completely

support Obama? You sympathized with her until she expressed anger. What about her post wasn't true until the last part. Agree to disagree but it sounds like the issues of one who may not always agree with Obama aren't as worthy of consideration and I find that just wrong.
Ladyhawke's issues remain the same no matter what she thinks of Obama. She is a loyal DUer and a liberal who deserves better.

[LynneSin]

29. We all deserve better but right now Obama is the last person to blame with healthcare

I mean he's out there fighting like crazy to get this thing done but it's CONGRESS that passes the bill. Wouldn't it have made more sense to rip the blue dog democrats of congress who are taking orders from their corporate sponsors than accusing Obama of being right of center? And trust me, I've seen right of center and Obama has been no where near there.

[saracat]

31. She has the right to her opinion. You seem to indicate that her criticism of obama is more

important than the issues facing her. I don't see it that way. the issues are what count.Obama is just a politician. What is said about him doesn't matter.The harm that occurs to people like Ladyhawke matters a great deal.
We don't have to agree with everyone to care about them. This is about something way more important than Obama.

[LynneSin]

33. I'm just expressin my opinion

I do feel for her with her healthcare situation. Unfortunately there is more of that happening across the country and mainly because our state governments are going broke (California being the wose of them).

If this was something more important than Obama then why bring him up at all? Especially since he is not the problem but the state of California along with the reupblicans & blue dog dems in DC

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

39. True. What is happening is the consequences of Republican dominance.

President Obama can't be expected to correct AT LEAST 15 years of Republican dominance,...forty years of capitalistic strong-arming. He had NOTHING to do with all that preceded him. To the contrary, he has spent his life trying to rebuild in such aftermaths. What is with people's cognition, these days?

:shrug:

[LynneSin]

40. I just hope he can get some headway with the bluedog democrats

It sounds like we'll take this thru reconciliation and therefore just need a majority

[omega minimo]

65. Well, thanks for stopping by.

:hi:

[omega minimo]

64. He has everything to do with "all that preceded him," if he perpetuates it.

[saracat]

46. You can't let go of it, can you? Her situation is the issue NOT

whatever is said about Obama.That really was the only statement she made that mattered to you.If she were bleeding to death and blaming Obama I get the impression you would argue with her about it before even considering applying a tourniquet.

[LynneSin]

56. how is dealing with severe depression different from bleeding to death

both can have dramatic issue on the person dealing with it.

Perhaps you don't like what I have to say, that's fine. But I hardly see Obama as being 'right of center' for the 9 months he has served and not the hold up for getting healthcare reformed. So why ruin a perfectly good letter by badmouthing the one person who really isn't the cause of the issue. I would have had way more respect if the finger was pointed at the real cause for healthcare reform hold-up in congress and it's not the republicans (who are doing exactly what we expect of them) but the blue dog democrats who would rather support the corporation and not the people that elected them.

[noiretextatique]

58. wow...what's wrong with you?

you're being pretty callous, and it's not like you at all. she's distraught over her situation, and i don't think you are helping.

[omega minimo]

67. How do you figure this thread is about your "respect" and criticism of "a perfectly good letter"?

[Lorien]

123. Sorry, but on the issues Obama is indeed right of center

Nice thread hijacking.

[bobbolink]

124. You've been told gently.... you still ignore the pain of another human being.

So I will say it more directly:

GROW A HEART.

[omega minimo]

66. She's in a teeny tiny state across the country....... couldn't be bothered.

[omega minimo]

63. There's no compassion there. LS is stuck in her POV and critiquing what is clearly a call for help

:thumbsdown:

[Odin2005]

42. Oh Christ, she's fucking distraught.

If she was just gratuitously bashing Obama you would have a point.

[omega minimo]

61. Gee and your Recommend or God Forbid UnRec makes ALL the difference here.

On top of your tone deafness about the person's living situation, location, hostile or nonexistent practitioners, while you prattle about Delafuckingware and your family doctor and your prescription.

:thumbsdown:

[bobbolink]

75. If Obama were to read your words, which lack all compassion, I believe he would be embarrassed.

You, dear lady, are not representing your hero well.

[omega minimo]

84. Well put bobbolink

:thumbsup:

[DireStrike]

89. mealy-mouthed support for the public option is not "fighting as hard as he can".

If he wanted we would have the public option.

If he wanted, we could have a real fight for single payer.

[smokey nj]

30. I'm so sorry Ladyhawk

:hug:

[anigbrowl]

32. Dear Ladyhawk, I would love to get $850 in disability income. In fact even $85 would help.

I feel for your problems and realize it's difficult to get by on such a small amount, and that a $50 cut can literally mean eating less or not replacing worn out clothes or whatever. Indeed, I realize that sums like that can make the difference between having an apartment or not. I empathize with the fact that your shrink sounds like a horrible person and you don't have a whole lot of flexibility to pick another one.

But I would love to have your problem instead of my own problems. Although it is a real bummer that you are getting $50 less/mo now, I'm not sure how this translates into 'nobody cares about you, fuck off and die'. I'd say it's more like they care 6% less, which still sucks, but times are tough all over. Sorry.

[saracat]

47. And this is compassion? I have problems of my own too but

while I do not wish mine on anyone else nor do I have the audacity to compete and compare regarding them.This sounds so GOP, I am in shock to see it posted here.But nothing should surprise me anymore.

[omega minimo]

69. The word for that post seems to be "derision"

[anigbrowl]

77. No, just another perspective

I agree it's bad, but I think there's no point in making it out to be much worse than it already is, and I know too that many people don't even get that much support. I suggest that considering these perspectives might be better than taking it as a personal affront, that is all.

[bobbolink]

128. The hard-heartedness is truly amazing, isn't it?

No wonder people have given up trying to talk about their own personal situation on this forum!

And, yet, this is condoned by the mods and admins.

:wtf:

This is how so many internet forums in the past have gone right down the terlet.

[LeftyMom]

48. Wow.

Most people try harder to hide an utter lack of compassion.

[saracat]

52. Ain't that the truth? Some of the responses in this thread just astound me.

But, I guess I shouldn't be surprised anymore.

[omega minimo]

70. It explains a lot

of the viciousness on women's issues.

[anigbrowl]

79. It has exactly zero to do with gender.

I don't see why you think it has anything to do with women's issues; mental illness and benefit cuts can affect anyone. IT's not a women's issue just because the OP is female.

[omega minimo]

80. The connection is the lack of compassion

wherever it is applied. It's about the person who views others that way, not the topic.

[anigbrowl]

85. I am not going to bother arguing with you about this

As I've said, it's not a gender issue to me. There are people who struggle with serious mental health issues that get no state help at all, and that distresses me more.

[omega minimo]

86. I corrected your misinterpretation/strawman. There's nothing to argue about.

You're the one bringing up gender again as if your mistaken argument was what I meant. How nuts is that? :crazy:

"There are people who struggle with serious mental health issues that get no state help at all, and that distresses me more."

And you are unable to find any compassion for this OP. Like we said.

[skygazer]

62. I always love these posts

Why don't you just come right out and say, "Your problems don't matter - only mine do."

[anigbrowl]

78. To be honest, that's exactly the impression I get from the OP.

[omega minimo]

82. That's the lack of compassion talking

An impassioned plea like this OP is very personal and also universal, it speaks to each of us -- if we have ears to hear and eyes to see, maybe even a heart to feel -- what it must be like for that person, what it might be to feel like that, to be in that position, which was quite well described, even for the most doltish among us.

The fact YOU are affronted by it and see it as self absorbed is a reflection of you, not the OP.

[omega minimo]

68. "times are tough all over. Sorry."

:wtf:

Why do you even feel the need to post that? Kick someone when they're down? Why not keep your BS attitude to yourself?

[bobbolink]

125. "It's you or me". Typical attitude of the RW.

[Lorien]

126. Oh, please do tell us all about your own problems. I'm sure that no one on DU

has ever had problems that remotely compare to yours. No one. And because none of us have problems that can ever compare to the severity of yours, no one else has a problem that matters, right? No one else deserves a shred of compassion, no one else deserves help, everyone else SHOULD just fuck off and die. "Times are tough all over. Sorry." Thank God you don't work at a suicide prevention hotline.

[frogmarch]

34. Dammit, Ladyhawk! I'm

so sorry!

Not fair.

Things have got to change. :mad:

[Fumesucker]

35. I've been reading your posts for quite a while now Ladyhawk..

And I have to say that you have held up remarkably given your circumstances.

There are a lot of people here on DU who have never met you IRL, but you are more real to many of us than some people we interact with every day.

Please take care and know that there are people here who care about you.

[Spacemom]

36. Ladyhawk

From my heart to yours. :hug:

[donheld]

37. I'm so very sorry

:hug:

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

38. I wish I had the courage to,...

,...ask that I be fully tested for suspected leukemia. I don't. We would lose everything: our modest 1500 sq ft home and meager savings! Health insurance for me would take a quarter of our fixed monthly income. I'd rather die with a modicum of quality life than live, ever again, with NOT enough.

So, I do my best to maintain our little lives while I am always tired, hot from the inside out and have pain inside my bones, every day. At least we're not having debt-collectors hounding us and having what modest life we have, threatened.

[Odin2005]

41. OMG, that sucks!

:( :hug: :cry:

[asdjrocky]

43. Hey Ladyhawk, I'm so sorry.

It might sound empty, but I assure you this is not an empty gesture, pm me for my phone number. I live in Ca and we can talk any time night or day.

I've never had so many friends that I could not use another and I don't have any answers, but I sure have an ear.

And the piece you just wrote your ass off in? Spot fucking on. You moved me with your words.

[JeffR]

45. K & R

Good vibes, Ladyhawk (though they can't compare to the support you should be getting).

[EndersDame]

51. My mom gets 450 a month from disability and perscribed $3000 meds that medicaid wont cover

I think that this country just flat out hates poor people

[tkmorris]

53. You can stop "thinking" it, it's absolutely the truth

Hell in most places being too poor is considered criminal.

[hamsterjill]

76. Sister in the same boat

My sister was recently in the hospital for an extended stay. She has no income, no insurance - the same story so MANY people in this country have, and for some reason that I don't seem to be able to understand, she doesn't qualify for medicaid.

I was sitting there when the attending physician was processing her release. The doctor wrote out SIX prescriptions. We told her that there was no money to fill even ONE of them, but the doctor just ignored us and said "take the medication as prescribed" and ended with "have a nice day". You're kidding me, right?

I felt like I was in the friggin' Twilight Zone.

[Ladyhawk]

109. I'm very sorry. Medi-Cal will at least pay for my prescriptions...

...most of the time.

The problem is I have no one to prescribe them. Also, after 20 years of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications, I've lost my faith in pills, at least for myself. There are some people for whom the pills simply do not work.

The sad thing is your sister either needs to be richer or poorer to be able to afford those prescriptions. You said she has no income. I imagine she could probably get on disability and get public assistance, but jumping through those hoops takes time and also an amount of stamina your sister simply doesn't have right now.

It takes awhile to get on disability / Medi-Cal here in California. Once you're on, you can never leave, at least while you're sick. There's no middle ground. I can't get even a part-time job or I would lose some of my benefits...well, the ones that haven't been cut, that is.

To whom can we complain? My representative, George Radanovich, is a right-winger who doesn't give a shit. Quite a few Democrats also fall into that category. And you can see from the general response here than many people have no empathy or are too concerned over petty political issues.

I honestly have no idea what to do. If your sister can find some kind of assistance, that's what you'll have to do, though you'll be abandoning her to the bottom rung of society.

Tip: SSDI almost always denies the first application. It's a knee-jerk response to keeping down costs. I once had someone who fought the system for me...my psychologist friend who was laid off due to the budget cuts.

[hamsterjill]

119. Thanks!

Thanks for your commiseration and understanding. I hope things improve for you!

[Ladyhawk]

120. Thanks. For your sister, too. nt

[area51]

54. For you

:hug:

[LadyHawkAZ]

55. This headline gave me a bit of a jolt

I spent a few seconds wondering who I'd pissed off this time.

As one Ladyhawk to another: I have been there and done that (in fact I am doing that now), and I feel for you.

Hang in there.

[laughingliberal]

57. I am so sorry you are going through this

As someone who has been fighting depression since I was 12, I can really relate to the problems with trying to get help. I am in dire financial straits right now and have every reason to believe I will be rendered homeless in the next couple of months. But I am, blessedly, in a remission from my depression at the moment. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. The situation in our country right now does seem bleak but I don't think losing you would make it better but, rather, worse.

[omega minimo]

72. Let us help you.

:grouphug:

[enigmatic]

73. I just saw this post

I'm so sorry this is happening to you and if there's anything I can do, please PM me.:hug:

[Taverner]

83. Aw that really sucks

:hug:

[KamaAina]

87. With my usual exquisite timing, I have just embarked on a career as a systems change advocate here

draconian cuts similar to what you describe are falling on people with all kinds of disabilities. The agencies (called Public Authorities) that administer the In-Home Supportive Services program, without which many recipients would be stuck in nursing homes, are having their budgets slashed by more than half :scared: Meanwhile we're paying brazillions to incarcerate nonviolent drug offenders.

We're also very sorry Medi-Cal recipients cannot seek mental health care out of county. You can seek help for nearly every other ailment, but not mental health. It makes you wonder if we planned it this way, doesn't it? Kill off the crazies, make things less expensive for the rest of us?

Yikes! That sounds like something to add to our advocacy agenda. That's news I can use. What do people do who live in small rural counties where little or no services are available?

If you'd PM me with what county you're in, etc., I could connect you with some resources there (there are 29 centers similar to mine across the state).

[Aragorn]

90. ever notice...

How people on DU (and elsewhere of course) drift away from the topic?

I agree with this post and have seen the same thing in Texas. In fact we have been ranked last of all 50 states in mental health care for about 30 years.

There's just not enough money in it ya know.

[NikolaC]

93. I don't know you personally,

but I care about you and what happens to you :hug:. It's awful what you have had to go through and endure. I have an old friend who lives in New York and is in a similar situation. I wish that those in power gave enough of a damn to do something about the sad state of mental health care in this country, but it never seems to be a priority. As hard as it is, please do not give up, please keep calling that hotline as often as you need to, please reach out to any and every one who you feel can listen and be there for you. I really don't know what to say, I am so very sorry that you are going through this:hug:.

[demigoddess]

94. try to hang on, one day we will all be mad as hell and not going to take it anymore

many of us fight depression so there are people here who understand. But hang in there. We will want you around on the glorious day that the country comes to its senses.

[Kajsa]

95. Dear Ladyhawk,

You speak for me and countless others
more than you know.

We are expendable and

It Feels Like Hell!

:hug:

[Kid Dynamite]

96. This is what "winning" looks like, Ladyhawk

:(

[BrklynLiberal]

97. So sorry Ladyhawke....

I know how you feel. I am in just about the same situation here in NYC.
No job..no medical care...just enough SS (early...too young for Medicare) to make me ineligible for
Medicaid, Foodstamps, or any of the other low cost, and even some free health care here in NYC.
I have also been forced to stop the meds that were helping me to get out of bed every morning....
Rent due in 2 days...that should be fun...with no money.

This MAY be the greatest country in the world, but there sure are days when it is hard to convince myself of that...

Hang on Ladyhawke.....you are not alone.

[slygirl]

100. Dear Ladyhawk, Please fuck off and die. Love, The State of California

So, your psychologist dropped you exactly why?  Was he/she a
good doctor?  Was this working for you?  Do you want to
continue seeing this doctor?

From what I can tell, you are receiving $50 less per month
from your disability benefits.  Does this mean what you can
afford pay your psychologist is $50 less per month?  Is he/she
not willing to work with you?  IF not, maybe it's time to find
another psychologist. 

Other than that, I'm not sure I'm catching the drift of this
post.

<shrug>

~Sly 

[mnhtnbb]

101. From one ladyhawk (seen in my back yard this morning)

to another: hang in there. We care about you.



(She's a northern harrier hawk).

[maryf]

102. Any hope for change, if it exists

will come from such as you, keep your spark...so many will make a fire...

[blindpig]

103. 'they don't care'

No, they don't.

When are we going to start caring enough to put and end to crap like this? When are going to stop putting our hopes in politicians, bought and paid for by the very theives who rob and murder us? It's time to get serious and decide which side we're on.

For all it matters, I'm on your side.

[TBF]

105. I'm so sorry Ladyhawk,

that just sucks. It shouldn't be this way and I'm very sorry you're going through this.

[Orwellian_Ghost]

106. Too late to rec

Bump

[Ladyhawk]

107. I'm just checking in with this thread.

I wish I could say I was doing better, but I can't.

Thanks to those who were supportive. I really appreciate it.

I wish I could say I was surprised by those who were not supportive, but I can't.

I was surprised by those who hijacked this thread because of my offhand comment about Obama. There were a million other threads in which you could discuss this issue. Why didn't you do so in one of them? As Bill Maher said, "He isn't your boyfriend."

If / when I feel a bit better, I'll try to address some of the constructive, friendly posts. Right now I'm still a shaky mess.

[Ladyhawk]

108. Still a shaky mess.

I do appreciate those of you who care, but I'm a bit distraught over the number of "liberals" who have no problem kicking me while I'm down.

I have some ignoring to do...those of you who actually proved this point in my OP:

"And the liberals? Puh-lease. They're too busy congratulating each other over electing a center-right black man. They aren't going to help you."

[omega minimo]

110. Some of it is trolls, some of it is people's own pain projected at others......

[Ladyhawk]

111. Yes. I understand a lot of people have pain. I guess I was hoping...

...it would make them more responsive to a universal message of outrage over the state of our health care system, especially for the mentally ill.

In no way was I saying, "My problems are bigger than your problems." Playing that game makes everyone poorer.

[omega minimo]

115. It showed that some can't fathom a universal message as eloquent as yours.

That's their pain.........................................

[Ladyhawk]

121. I'm bumping this to see if anyone wants to help save a life.

I am trying to get care from a number of different places, but my health is deteriorating. It's hard for me to get out of bed, let alone try to save myself.

Things that may help:

1) a home in a liberal area for me and my parrot

I've been ill for more than twenty years. I've been on many, many medications and had talk therapy for a great percentage of that time. Obviously, these things do not work for me. I am classified as "treatment-resistant."

I've had ECT (shock treatments). I'd prefer not to go through that again. The procedures themselves were terrifying and the side effects were awful. It helped for awhile, but not long enough.

2) I need a psychiatrist who will look into the following treatment options: vagus nerve stimulation, transcranial magnetic stimulation and deep brain implants.

I finally called my psychologist friend and he will try to help, but I don't hold out much hope if his answer is more meds and more talk therapy.

I may be able to try a SPECT scan for less than what it usually costs, but I'm suspicious of the methodology. My psychologist and a few other people think it may help, so I may try it if I can afford it.

I've written letters to the Mayo Clinic about a trial for deep brain implants (haven't sent the letters yet). I'm also going to send letters inquiring about the other methods of treatment. I have no psychiatrist to refer me, so there's a good chance the letters will simply go in the trash.

The bottom line is probably this: Without a psychiatrist, without health insurance, there is no way in hell I can get the treatment I need unless somebody finds a loophole in the system.

I'm not being melodramatic or hyperbolic when I say this: Unless someone can help me navigate the system and find the help I need, I will probably die. Soon.

If you can help, PM me. I don't want to wade through a lot of hateful posts. (And please don't message me if you want to be a douche. Keep it to yourself.)

[Lorien]

122. I hope that someone here has something to offer

sure wish that I could, but I'm in a similar spot. One needs to live in a first world Nation to get any real help, and our first Nation status has faded away after 30 years of Reaganism.

[omega minimo]

129. Ladyhawk

Can you tell us generally where you are?