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Attention, People of Earth

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asdjrocky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 12:53 PM
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Attention, People of Earth
by Paul Simms
We are on our way to your planet. We will be there shortly. But in this, our first contact with you, our headline is: We do not want your gravel.

We are coming to Earth, first of all, just to see if we can actually do it. Second, we hope to learn about you and your culture(s). Thirdif we end up having some free timewe wouldnt mind taking a firsthand look at your almost ridiculously bountiful stores of gravel. But all we want to do is look.

Youre probably wondering if we mean you harm. Good question! So youre going to like the answer, which is: We mean you no harm. Truth be told, there is a faction of us who want to completely annihilate you. But theyre not in power right now. And a significant majority of us find their views abhorrent and almost even barbaric.

But, thanks to the fact that our government operates on a system very similar to your Earth democracy, we have to tolerate the views of this loyal opposition, even while we hope that they never regain power, which they probably wont (if the current poll tracking numbers hold up).

The rest-
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2009/09/21/090921sh_shou...

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Mojambo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 01:11 PM
Response to Original message
1. Paul Simms is great. n/t
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asdjrocky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 01:23 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Yeah, I thought this was too funny to pass up.
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Q3JR4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
3. I was expecting to see Lrrr.


Of the planet Omicron Persei 8.

Q3JR4.
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