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Melting Ice Caps Expose Hundreds Of Secret Arctic Lairs

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Cruzan Donating Member (806 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 09:52 AM
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Melting Ice Caps Expose Hundreds Of Secret Arctic Lairs
ZACKENBERG RESEARCH STATION, GREENLANDClaiming it to be one of the most dramatic and visible signs of climate change to date, researchers said Monday that receding polar ice caps have revealed nearly 200 clandestine lairs once buried deep beneath hundreds of feet of Arctic ice.

"We always assumed there would be some secret lairs here and there, but the sheer number now being exposed is indeed troubling," said noted climatologist Anders Lorenzen, who claimed that the Arctic ice caps have shrunk at the alarming rate of 41,000 square miles per year. "In August alone we discovered 44 mad scientist laboratories, three highly classified military compounds, and seven reanimated and very confused cavemen. That's more than twice the number we had found in the previous three decades combined."

"This is no longer conjecture," Lorenzen added. "This is a full-blown crisis."

According to oceanographers, the Arctic Circle has been devastated by the effects of global warming in recent years, threatening hundreds of men and women who use the frozen tundra as a place to conduct bizarre experiments in human-animal grafting, carry out massive government cover-ups, or simply as a hidden headquarters from which to battle the forces of evil and fight crime.

"Last week a giant ice sheet broke off and split my prized underground complex nearly in half," said Dr. Raygun, a self-described psychotic mastermind best known for his diabolical thought-control experiments. "Now millions of dollars in state-of-the-art doomsday devices are goneall because of the environmental carnage wrought by the human race."

"You spend your whole career concocting a brilliant scheme to wipe out all of mankind, and what happens?" Dr. Raygun continued. "They bring about a major global catastrophe completely on their own, those fools!"

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Myrina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 09:56 AM
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1. ... just wait until Nu-"New York" , circa 25,000 BCE, is thawed out!
Edited on Tue Sep-22-09 09:56 AM by Myrina
all those silly people who think the planet is only 4,000 years old are going to be in for a big surprise!!
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Captain Hilts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 09:59 AM
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2. Love it!
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SidneyCarton Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:02 AM
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3. Gad Zooks!
I have to call my minions, and make sure we haven't been discovered yet.
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L0oniX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:13 AM
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4. Santa is being forced to move.
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Q3JR4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:37 AM
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5. Uh oh, kinda defeats the purpose
to have your secret ice lair hanging out there doesn't it?


Artists rendering.


Q3JR4.
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blueworld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-22-09 10:49 AM
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6. Noww I understand why Glenn Beck uses the iceberg thingy! n/t
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