Just for the value of the headline: Hopkins student kills intruder with samurai sword, police say

[cali]

7:35 a.m. EDT, September 15, 2009
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A Johns Hopkins University student armed with a samurai sword killed a man who broke into the garage of his off-campus residence early Tuesday, a Baltimore police spokesman said.

According to preliminary reports, a resident of the 300 block of E. University Parkway called police about a suspicious person, department spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said. An off-duty officer responded about 1:20 a.m. to the area with university security, according to Guglielmi. They heard shouts and screams from a neighboring house and found the suspected burglar suffering from a nearly severed hand and lacerations to his upper body, he said.

The suspect was pronounced dead at the scene.

The student told police that he heard a commotion in the house and went downstairs armed with a samurai sword, Guglielmi said. He saw the side door to the garage had been pried open and found a man inside, who lunged at the student.

Detectives were still interviewing the student and his three roommates Tuesday morning, Guglielmi said. Burglars had already stolen two laptops and a Sony PlayStation from the student's home Monday, according to Guglielmi.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/baltimore-city/bal-sword0915,0,4027961.story

[Bonobo]

1. Kakatte koi! nt

[Forkboy]

2. I see this thread getting moved to the katana dungeoun.

[Robb]

15. The katungeon? nt

[slackmaster]

3. It's interesting but not very well written because of an ambiguous (or misplaced) modifier

I would have edited it to something like:

"Hopkins student uses Samurai sword to kill intruder"

Otherwise a reader could get the impression that the intruder was wielding the sword.

[Robb]

17. I always hope this kind of headline is a requirement of print

...Headlines being written to fill spaces, as they are. :)

[derby378]

4. Glad the student is okay

Still, the whole thing sound surreal.

[HamdenRice]

5. Kill Bill Vol. 3 nt

[Mike Daniels]

7. I was thinking shades of Pulp Fiction

Didn't "Butch" (Bruce Willis) use a similar device to dispatch "Zed"?

[HamdenRice]

16. In the pawn shop?

I think so.

:rofl:

[shanti]

20. zed's dead

;)

[SteppingRazor]

6. You see?! This is just proof that if everyone were armed with samurai swords...

the nation would be a much safer place. :)

[meegbear]

8. If samurai swords are outlawed, only outlaws would have samurai swords

[SteppingRazor]

11. Outlawed? Ha! You'll get my samurai sword when you pry it from my cold, dead hands! n/t

[Javaman]

19. never bring your fists to a samurai sword fight. nt

[ProgressiveProfessor]

22. The correct version is: If samurai swords are outlawed, only ronin would have samurai swords

[Botany]

9. memo to self ..... avoid pissing off samurai warriors

[Fumesucker]

10. I was thinking of the Deliverator in "Snow Crash"

The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed sub-category. He's got esprit up to here. Right now he is preparing to carry out his third mission of the night. His uniform is black as activated charcoal, filtering the very light out of the air. A bullet will bounce off its arachno-fiber weave like a wren hitting a patio door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest. Where his body has bony extremities, the suit has sintered armorgel: feels like gritty jello, protects like a stack of telephone books.

When they gave him the job, they gave him a gun. The Deliverator never deals in cash, but someone might come after him anyway–might want his car, or his cargo. The gun is a tiny, aero-styled, lightweight, the kind of a gun a fashion designer would carry; it fires teensy darts that fly at five times the velocity of an SR-71 spy plane, and when you get done using it, you have to plug it in to the cigarette lighter, because it runs on electricity.

The Deliverator never pulled that gun in anger, or in fear. He pulled it once in Gila Highlands. Some punks in Gila Highlands, a fancy Burbclave, wanted themselves a delivery, and they didn't want to pay for it. Thought they would impress the Deliverator with a baseball bat. The Deliverator took out his gun, centered its laser doo-hickey on that poised Louisville Slugger, fired it. The recoil was immense, as though the weapon had blown up in his hand. The middle third of the baseball bat turned into a column of burning sawdust accelerating in all directions like a bursting star. Punk ended up holding this bat handle with milky smoke pouring out the end. Stupid look on his face. Didn't get nothing but trouble from the Deliverator.

Since then the Deliverator has kept the gun in the glove compartment and relied, instead, on a matched set of samurai swords, which have always been his weapon of choice anyhow. The punks in Gila Highlands weren't afraid of the gun, so the Deliverator was forced to use it. But swords need no demonstration.

[ddeclue]

12. So apparently he really DID see ninjas on the lawn..

:P

[mikelgb]

13. Kudos for attempting to enact the proper punishment for stealing: severing of the hand.

Stern glance for killing the guy. That's a no-no.

[TheMadMonk]

18. Kick in the arse for failing to maintain a propper edge. nt

[ProgressiveProfessor]

23. Sounds more like poor technique

[Blue_Tires]

14. well, at least he can truly say he earned his sword

unlike some other posers...

[angrychair]

21. A little "Princess Bride" action

What he said to the intruder before he cut him with the sword "My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.”

:rofl:

[dflprincess]

24. Samuri university student

[Kaleva]

25. I like the way this was written up.

"and found the suspected burglar suffering from a nearly severed hand and lacerations to his upper body, he said.

The suspect was pronounced dead at the scene."

How does a dead man suffer? Did he suffer and then die shortly after he was found?