Sheesh - another demand from Glenn Beck

scentopine

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Sun Sep-13-09 11:44 PM
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Sheesh - another demand from Glenn Beck

WASHINGTON (AP) - Fox News host Glenn Beck has issued a demand to US President Barak Obama ordering him to "do the right thing" and apologize for remarks that forced Representative Joe Wilson (R-SC) to yell "you lie" during a nationally televised health care address. The controversy began when President Obama made an surprise reference to illegal immigrants during the address without mentioning his own status as an illegal African infiltrator planning to murder older white Republicans. In a tersely worded press release, Fox expressed deep concern that the President has violated "the sacred traditions of South Carolina by refusing to show us his papers." The President's latest insult to Mr. Beck comes at a difficult time for his health care initiatives and many Republicans are now threatening to withdraw support for the plan.

In response, White House spokesperson Robert Gibbs said today that the President is working diligently on a solution to the crisis. Gibbs stated Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and a team of experts have begun round the clock diplomatic negotiations with Fox News. When asked about rumors Beck is demanding the Medal of Freedom award as part of a reparation package, Gibbs left open the possibility saying "nothing is off the table at this point, all options are being considered." leading to speculation that the Medal will be awarded as early as next week in a private ceremony in front of an audience of hand selected and heavily armed supporters of the talk show host.

This is the second time in days that a Black Obama administration official has upset the sensitive Republicans. However, Mr. Gibbs noted "President Obama will not tolerate the deliberate abuse of Republicans with candid talk. Mr. Van Jones' resignation indicates our belief that no one is above the law and the President is considering his own offer to resign in order to move the nation forward." However, other Black administration officials are privately worried. "First Acorn, then Van Jones and now Obama, I'm next, these guys really are a lynch mob" according to an unnamed Black Justice Department Cabinet member responsible for 9/11 who requested anonymity.

As a peace offering to Republicans, Gibbs announced construction has begun on the new US Department of Republican Relations (USRR) with an annual budget of $50 billion (USD) . "This is another step in our continuing commitment to work in harmony with our good friends on the same side of the aisle.” The slip brought chuckles from the press corp, but the room grew oddly still when Gibbs clarified this with “I’m dead serious. Workers have removed the aisle. There is no more aisle. We are one party, working in harmony for the good of the American people.” Gibbs continued “the whole operation has been designed by Republicans to be completely self sufficient. That’s the beauty of it. Republicans will run it on the savings generated by not having the Government involved!” When asked about the purpose, Gibbs explained that private discussions were underway with key industry stakeholders about how to best utilize the new department.

The controversy has spilled over to concern among world leaders that the United States is damaging its reputation as a role model democracy. Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Uganda, Turkmenistan and France have agreed to host a series of multi-way talks to help reach an equitable agreement between the beleaguered President, Mr. Beck and Mr. Wilson. However, this diplomatic overture has stalled on Mr. Beck’s demand that any talks must take place without France.