I'm with Stupid

[Mythsaje]

Dear World:

Despite the fact we now have a President who has been known to string together two paragraphs without sounding like a complete buffoon, it has come to our attention that you're still not convinced we're not a country entirely made up of diaper-wearing wide-stance, Muslim-Hating, gun-toting, red meat loving, Congressional Page texting, Ann Coulter stalking, near homicidal weirdos who can't spell "moron" without using an "A."

We grasp the fact that if you happen to intercept our television media, you're subjected to outright falsehoods, weasel statements, misrepresentations, and pathetic excuses not so much on daytime TV, but on our so-called "news" channels. Our best are not fit to lick the BBC's riding boots and some of us know it.

People like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh stand before the whole world and spout absurd bullshit at full volume and we not only allow it, but we act as though they have a perfect right to do so. We know--that 1st Amendment thing is a real pain in the ass. We can't stop people from acting like assholes even if we'd really like to.

If that's not bad enough, of course, there's the millions of people who eat this shit up like it's the word of God handed down directly from Mt. Sinai on stone tablets. One of the most consistent voting bloc of Americans are people crazy enough to believe just about anything as long as it comes from a preacher, a pundit, or a Republican politician. They vote regularly, with directions directly from the mouths of Satan's handmaids.

These are people who could take the holiest of books and twist it to say anything they like it to say, with the cold disregard to turn the Sermon on the Mount into a holy mission to steal from the poor. And despite the fact I don't believe any of it, I'm left thinking "weren't they warned that evil would come to them in the guise of good and they'd swallow it hook, line, and sinker?" Am I the only one who's thinking "these are the fuckers you were warned to stay away from?"

Many of us have found that the more effort someone puts into seeming holy, or righteous, the better the chance that he or she is hiding a big, dark secret somewhere that's just squirming to get out. Truly righteous, holy people don't feel a need to shout it to the world.

So, yeah. We've kicked out the last cabal that tried to run the country into the ground, tried to bitch-slap the rest of you around to get you all to go along with the program, but we're still left with the legacy of those who originally put them in power.

The Grand American Dumbfuck Brigade. Thanks to the mass media conglomerate owned by Howling Mad Murdoch, these sheep are led by folks that no one, and I mean NO ONE, would even buy a used car from if they had a lick of mental integrity. I mean, what kind of idiot listens to someone like Beck and thinks, "this guy makes a lot of sense?"

A brain-dead zombie, that's who.

Look at the people who are the Right's spokescritters. Joe the Plumber? Seriously--an asscrack of a man if we've ever seen one. Ann Coulter? Put her in a black cloak and hand her a scythe and she'd be the spitting image of the Grim Reaper. Only, I think Grimmy might be packing a few more pounds. Ted Nugent? Dude, you're so fucking crazy that the old lady on the corner with the shopping cart full of old tennis shoes thinks you're a freak. Chuck Norris? Chuck, you couldn't choreograph a Power Rangers episode. We're supposed to take you seriously on political matters? Most of us realize that even in the thing you were best at you were still a fucking wanker.

Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups. He lays down on the ground and the Earth moves away from him in revulsion.

:evilgrin:

They're full of more shit than a box of puppies. Without conscience, common sense, or anything resembling a grasp on reality--or, at least, the reality as viewed by 99% of Americans who aren't Republican "celebrities."

I don't KNOW if they're stupid, but they play a good stupid on TV.

We'd like to deny any connection to them and the people they influence. Unfortunately, we happen to share the same country. But we can at least blame Australia for Murdoch. He's not OUR fault. The rest of them? Ugh.

Yeah. We'll admit it.

Maybe we should change our national motto to "I'm with Stupid."


edited for clarity

[Broken_Hero]

1. ......

Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups. He lays down on the ground and the Earth moves away from him in revulsion.


:thumbsup:

[The Magistrate]

2. Beautiful Rant, Sir!

[JohnnyLib2]

3. Yessir!

:applause:

[DCKit]

4. "...and the Earth moves away... in revulsion." Funny stuff.

And I especially like your religious angle:

""These are people who could take the holiest of books and twist it to say anything they like it to say, with the cold disregard to turn the Sermon on the Mount into a holy mission to steal from the poor. And despite the fact I don't believe any of it, I'm left thinking "weren't they warned that evil would come to them in the guise of good and they'd swallow it hook, line, and sinker?" Am I the only one who's thinking "these are the fuckers you were warned to stay away from?""

Keep up the good work.

[NanceGreggs]

5. JUST BRILLIANT!!!

:applause:

[Mythsaje]

7. Thank you...

Now try this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=6461483&mesg_id=6461483

[kelly1mm]

6. And they vote. Always. nt