Please help me with this LTTE for accuracy or other comments

[ashling]

except for spelling and grammar. After all, I am the grammar police, not you. :rofl:
I need to get this in soon. I am late (usually have one sent in by Sunday morning.)

Betsy McCaughey – the right wing propagandist who originated the “pull the plug on grandma” canard – was forced to resign as propagandist for her board when she humiliated herself on national TV. Try as she might, she could not support her claim. But I open the paper today to find a letter from Hyme Solomon touting the same tired claptrap.

You want examples of real death panels, Mr. Solomon?

A teenage girl in Glendale, California recently was denied an operation for her pancreatic cancer by her insurance company. After media uproar in Los Angeles the insurance company decided to approve the operation. Guess nobody told the insurance company “death panel” that she had just died.

In cities all over the United States, patients are “dumped” from hospitals when their money runs out. I can show you video of confused and disoriented elderly patients being dropped off on skid row to die.
At a Congressional hearing recently 3 health insurance executives admitted to rescinding over 20,000 health insurance policies on flimsy or unrelated technicalities when a policy holder became critically ill. Don’t believe me, ask Congressman Burgess, he was there and as appalled as anyone there. The insurance executives were not even contrite. It was just another death panel to them.

The right wingers worry about grandma – but nobody’s going pull the plug on her. I guess as far as they are concerned, its only the poor and unemployed who should die alone and in pain.

[NYC_SKP]

1. Great letter, but...

My grammatical two cents include:

Add an article, "a" or "the", to this phrase: "After media uproar";

Insert the subject pronoun, "I" at beginning of this sentence: "Guess nobody told the insurance company...”;

Use "three" instead of "3" in this sentence: "At a Congressional hearing recently 3 health insurance executives..."

Regarding word choice and tone, the use of the term "right wingers" might sound too opinionated and take away from the otherwise serious and sober message you present.

Otherwise, your LTTE is concise and has an engaging beginning, middle, and end.

:applause:

[ashling]

4. OK, I am going to ignore your breach of etiquette (LOL)

because you are from NYC. In the future, however, please pay attention to the instructions in the post.
:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Seriously, thanks for your support.

A friend once said to me "I hope you don't mind my editing -- it comes from being an English teacher for 30 years." ""That's ok," I replied "I take editing pretty well -- it comes from being a husband for 25 years"
:hi:


BTW, thanks for the edits

[NYC_SKP]

5. I think they say....

...we have to interact with a new word eight times before we get it.

I KNOW I have to READ something at least three times before I catch something like the parts in bold.

Mea culpa, lo siento!

:hug:

Terrific letter!!!

[katanalori]

2. Looks good to me

and sorry I cannot help myself re grammar:

Third paragraph, second sentence place comma after Los Angeles.
Last line, its should be it's.

Great LTTE - I hope it gets published!

[Tansy_Gold]

3. Here goes

http://www.pajamadeen.com/health/teen-dies-after-cigna-denies-liver-transplant

This blog entry gives the basic info on Nataline Sarkisyan, the California teen-ager. You might want to use her name and the name of the insurance company, CIGNA. She was actually denied a liver transplant.

No empty threats: If you really do have video of confused and disoriented elderly patients being dumped on the street, put your money where your mouth is. Got a youtube link? Put it in. No hearsay; give them evidence.

I'd change "skid row" to just "the street." It doesn't make any difference if it's a locale where the down-n-outers hang out or any street. Hell, they could be dumped on Park Avenue or Rodeo Drive and it would still be heartless.



"At a Congressional hearing recently 3 three health insurance executives admitted to rescinding over 20,000 health insurance policies on flimsy (Flimsy what? Flimsy technicalities?) or unrelated technicalities when a policy holder(s) became critically ill. Don’t believe me, (?) (A)sk Congressman (first name? district? party?) Burgess,(.) (H)e was there and as appalled as anyone there. The insurance executives were not even contrite. It was just another death panel to them.



"The right wingers worry about grandma – but nobody’s going pull the plug on her (because she's uninsured or can't pay. After all, she's on Medicare). I guess as far as they are concerned, it(')s only the poor and unemployed (uninsured) who should die alone and in pain."



The letter's good, but it misses a few points. The poor and unemployed may in fact have health coverage through their state's version of Medicaid; it's the uninsured of all employement and wealth status who are left out. Grandma may indeed have the plug pulled on her, if she has a DNR order on file or the family decides to remove her from artificial life support. But because she probably has Medicare, at least the plug won't be pulled because she's not insured.



Then send it off.


Hope this helps.


TG, former editor and frequent LTTE writer

[ashling]

6. Thanks. this is what I was looking for

as for the edits, see my response above (#3) LOL,

I only referred to Congressman Burgess because he is the Republican Congressman from this district, and is well known (he's a Dr, too - I should add that)

Your other points were good, too. Thanks.

BTW, if its ok, in the future I'll just IM you for edits LOL

[Tansy_Gold]

7. Grammar & punctuation

I've been a writer a LOT longer than I've been an editor and so I know how easy it is to miss the little things in our own writing, even its v. it's, their v. there. So when I'm asked to edit/proofread, I point out everything my fresh eyes find. Sorry.

Congressman Burgess may be well known by MOST in that area, but for those who might be new to the area and looking for info on their new representative, it's a good idea to include all the relevant information, including that he's a doctor and WHAT KIND of doctor. MD? PhD? JD? EdD? DDS?

I don't respond to IM, but I'll take PMs.


Tansy Gold

[ashling]

8. Technology is elusive enough for me, but then

abbreviations on top of that! IM,PM, BM ... its all the same to me LOL :hurts:

I was just kidding, I wouldn't impose like that.

However, have read Flannery O'Conner's The Violent Bear it Away. I am working on a paper for a political theory class in which I will be discussing this and several other novels. If you have read it, what did you think? It has been several months since I read it.

I am going to discuss her use of light and dark, fire, sun, moon, and some other things which escape me at the moment.

Anyway, I thank you for your help. As to the MD thing, I've already sent it in. I will see if I can change it when they call about it (they know me pretty well over there. In fact, I wrote something calling for the absolute necessity of the public option and one of the editors told me that he was actually a single payer man.)

[Tansy_Gold]

10. nope, haven't read it. sorry. n/t

[Juche]

9. I would reference that the wingnuts are on cahoots with the insurance company death panels

The resistance to health care can basically be tied to 2 groups.

1. Profitable pharma and insurance companies that don't want to face competition or regulation.

2. Poorly informed right wing reactionaries who hate anything done by liberals.


The true death panels are in cahoots with the people who believe Obama supports death panels. If you can somehow tie the 'useful idiot' factoid into it, that'd make it better.

"While Mr. Solomon condemns false, theoretical death panels under health reform, the insurance companies that have real, verifiable death panels are paying the bus fare and handing talking points to people like Mr. Solomon to read at town hall meetings."