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kpete Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 07:00 PM
Original message
Obama to give back country
Obama to give back country
Submitted by R. Neal on Sat, 2009/08/22 - 12:55pm.

Sources close to President Obama's inner circle say he has listened to the Republican teabaggers, birthers, gun-toting militiamen and town hall criers and that he "hears them loud and clear." After some long and painful reflection, he has decided to give them back their country.

Because there is so much concern about what the government is going to do to grandma, the first step of winding down the federal government will be to end Medicare and Social Security. According to sources, Republicans and their libertarian allies have convinced Obama that America's seniors can take better care of themselves with the help of their families and the free markets, which are better equipped to provide for their dignity, health, and wellbeing. Ending these wasteful programs will save taxpayers trillions of dollars, and reduced life expectancies will result in huge bonus savings on health care costs.

Regarding the national debt, Obama will file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on behalf of the United States. This will automatically wipe out most of our debt, providing an immediate benefit of approx. $40,000 for every man, woman, and child in America. Holders of T-Bills, Savings Bonds, and the like can get in line with defense contractors, road builders, veterans with pensions, and China to collect whatever pennies on the dollar they can for what they are owed during the restructuring of the Full Faith and Credit of the United States government.

Realizing now that the private sector can do things with greater efficiency for lower cost, President Obama is also going to abolish the U.S. Postal Service. This might be a great time to buy stock in FedEx and UPS, and investors will be able to negotiate better trades without interference by the Securities and Exchange Commission, which will also be abolished.

more:
http://www.knoxviews.com/node/12000
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madfloridian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 07:02 PM
Response to Original message
1. That's a great piece...well done.
Thanks for sharing.
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no bad days Donating Member (83 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 07:11 PM
Response to Original message
2. I thought.............
Like.....back to the indians.........whew...close one.
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lib_wit_it Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-24-09 05:34 AM
Response to Reply #2
7. ORLY?
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LunaSea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 09:21 PM
Response to Original message
3. Nicely done!
The comments are a hoot too!

Next up, state and local
Submitted by fletch on Sat, 2009/08/22 - 5:02pm.

Next up, state and local governments, which are just federal mini-mes. I'll just dump the garbage in my neighbor's yard, and if he has a problem with it, I'll express my 2nd amendment rights, and first, maybe 4th, whatever, those are all just more regulations anyway. I can't wait to start printing my own money.

Space Tyranny
Submitted by Stick (not verified) on Sat, 2009/08/22 - 3:40pm.

BHO just can't quit his socialistic ways! What about government tyranny of space?! If Amurikans are to have REAL choice in tele-communications technology, we must end the government monopoly over the satellites that ensure our 24/7 access to "reality" programming and "fair & balanced" sources of news! Tyranny I tell you! TYRANNY!


"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?"
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undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 09:22 PM
Response to Original message
4. Is he bringing home the military too?
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proud2BlibKansan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-23-09 09:32 PM
Response to Original message
5. The last paragraph is the best!
After being briefed on the President's plan, Martin P. Wingdale of the Heritage Family Club for Conservative American Strength and Prosperity Foundation said "Finally. This is hope and change we can believe in and that America has been asking for. But we're still waiting for Barrack Hussein Obama to produce a birth certificate."

:rofl:
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troubledamerican Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-24-09 01:25 AM
Response to Original message
6. No more Interstate Freeway System. That's socialist.
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