Letter to the Editor - rough draft

[ashling]

Its difficult to decide which is scarier: the lies and scare tactics of the far right and health insurance companies, or the fact that there are people stupid enough to believe them. The latest is the fear that health care reform will mean that the elderly and handicapped will be euthenized. Sarah Palin has even put her baby back in the news again by suggesting that there would be a “death panel” in store for Trig.

What is most ridiculous is that it has been liberals, progressives, and Democrats who have always been concerned about the care and treatment of our most vulnerable citizens – NOT Republicans. When Democrats passed Social Security so that the elderly would have some guaranteed support in their old age, what did conservatives and Republicans do? They tried their best to kill it. When Democrats passed Medicare so that the elderly didn’t have to decide between not getting medical care or eating dog food? Republicans tried to kill it. Medicaid, family assistance, daycare, educational assistance for the mentally challenged, and other programs that would improve the lives of these citizens? Same thing. Republicans wanted to kill them, too.

On second thought, its not scary . . . its just sad.

[jwirr]

1. Sounds good to me.

[angstlessk]

2. great letter, send it in NOW! K & R

on edit...please folks, recommend!

[gristy]

3. Pretty good

For the last line, a couple small changes to this: "On second thought, it's not only scary . . . it's sad."
I also added the missing apostrophes.

[ashling]

16. Thanks

I had already made those exact changes in the one I submitted.

Great minds ... yada, yada.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

4. Excellent letter.

A few technical things: First word: "It's," not "Its." Third line: correct spelling is "euthanized." Last line: "it's," not "its" (2x). Send it in!

[ashling]

17. Thanks

The one I pasted here was my first rough draft. I always double check the final because I am prone to typos - only have one good eye ... well, good might actually be an overstatement. LOL

[timeforpeace]

5. Health insurance companies will make a killing so don't think you should include them. Plus people

won't care if you're sad.

[ashling]

18. Health Insurance companies - 1st paragraph

I didn't say I was sad, I said that "it" is sad ... so, I respectfully disagree ...

but thanks for your opinion - always appreciated.

[hfojvt]

6. I don't think that you want to call people stupid

perhaps "gullible" - that way the onus is kinda put on the liar who duped you, instead of on you for being stupid enough to be duped. Always nice to bring up our history.

[G_j]

11. good choice

stupid, can be commonly used as an insult. That may raise immediate barriers, making it harder for the person to hear you.

[ashling]

19. I think you are probably right,

but too late.

Thanks anyway.

[katanalori]

7. just opinion here

I am having trouble with the words "scarier" and "scare" in the first line.
(Maybe because my fundie "friends" keep using those words over and over).

I like (first line): "It is difficult to decide which is more shocking: The scare tactics.............."

And last line: "On second thought, it is not shocking....it is just sad."

As far as no one caring that you are sad, I disagree. People DO respond to sadness and heartbreak IMO.

[ashling]

20. I think you are right on both counts

I wish I had seen your post before I sent it (LOL)

Thanks for your opinion.

[tabasco]

8. That's really good!

Short and to the point.

LTTE is the most-read portion of the paper, or so I have read.

[GReedDiamond]

9. Rec #5...

...great letter!

[izquierdista]

10. One addition

I would point out that we already have "death panels". They are called "underwriting review" by the health insurance companies, and many people have died due to their decisions.

[kevinbgoode]

12. Very good point.

And now we are cookin'. . .these are exactly the kinds of points that need to be made at both town hall meetings and in letters to the editor. Make these scum actually defend the companies who are paying their way to disrupt these meetings.

I've certainly noticed that the one topic the disruptors do NOT want to talk about is the insurance industry/health care industry.

[ashling]

21. I know, but

you run into word limits, etc.

[Cairycat]

13. Excellent letter!

Great points. I would suggest changing "daycare" to "Head Start" - maybe a little better connotation for that. In your last sentence, "its" needs an apostrophe, since you're contracting "it is".

[surrealAmerican]

14. You might consider rephrasing ...

... "decide between not getting medical care or eating dog food".

It makes it sound like they can now both get care AND eat dog food.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

15. I'd use a different concept:

"scary" separates you from the reader. You're setting up a stance that requires a reader either to embrace your position - to be scared, and, ultimately, saddened - or to go along with the demonstrations against health care reform.

I'd rewrite it in a less combative, isolated tone.

Do you want to make a point, get people thinking along your lines? Or do you want to make enemies? Because that's how your current draft is framed.

The second paragraph opens with an insult - "ridiculous."

You might want to consider writing it without denigrating the views of others (no matter how ridiculous you think they are) - it makes you look narrow-minded and intolerant. I know that I wouldn't read the rest of this letter if it were in the paper, just because of the loaded language. And I happen to agree with you!

The last line is insulting.

Offer an alternative, or else describe in less pejorative terms the things that Democrats have accomplished. But, when you set it up as a Democrats versus The Other Side situation, you're making it combative, and I'm not sure that's the best way to make whatever points you want to make.

But, that's just my take on it............................................

[ashling]

22. Thanks to everyone who replied!

Your opinions are certainly appreciated.

I tried to answer most of them. I know they will help in my future LTTEs.

I consider you all