Well, it happened. Obama's death panel decided I'm too lazy to live.

[Curtland1015]

I got the letter yesterday. Turns out I spend too much time playing Guitar Hero and not enough building tanks and planting turnips. Plus my "stubby" little toes make me ineligible for breeding.

My wife seems less depressed about this than I would have expected...

Anywho, I've got to report to the executioners/post office on Tuesday.

Anyone want my Green Lantern comics?

[saltpoint]

1. I'd love to have the comics but I got the same verdict. Woe is us, and

I'll see you in line.

[angstlessk]

2. OMG!1! I got 'stubby' toes too, this must mean I will be soon joining you

soon in the here after...glad I love jeebus an stuff!1!!

[AnnInLa]

3. I want to be a judge on that panel, because

there are some people I know ---- never mind.

[greguganus]

24. So now we know why Paula Abdul's not a judge on American Idol anymore. n/t

[taterguy]

4. Sucks to be you

BTW, is your wife hot?

Just asking as a rhetorical question

[Curtland1015]

9. Well... yes, why do you ask?

[gratuitous]

5. We'll miss you

I'd ask for your Guitar Hero game, but my turn's coming up pretty soon, and the guy behind me is saying "Less chat, more splat. Jump, Fucker!"

[hedgehog]

6. You need to send a letter to the editor about this.

We all do. Nothing will kill this sooner than making the "death panel" a joke.

[holiday]

7. i think thats why paula abdul quit american idol

she wanted to be judge on obama's death panel

[WeDidIt]

8. What issues of Green Lantern do you have?

[Vickers]

10. It's gotten to where I hate checking the mailbox.

That fucking socialist killing machine!!!1!!!!!!1!!!

[Autonomy]

11. I'm jobless and an avid MMO player

I am sure my letter is coming Monday.

[Fuzz]

36. Which?

[Autonomy]

38. Currently playing LOTRO

Lord of the Rings Online, though I've played various MMOs and MUDs for years. Of course, I still play single-player games, too, all of which make me George Will's best pal. :p

[Fuzz]

39. How is that? Playing WoW right now. Played Asheron's Call for years before that.

[Barack_America]

12. Hmm. I'm brushing up my resume in advance of my panel hearing next week.

Is the whole "team player" thing in or out these days?

[Curtland1015]

15. Are you kidding? Being a "team player" is what Communism is all about!

As long as you work hard, aren't too short (or too tall), are in good shape, have no physical or mental abnormalities, aren't an uggo, and have strong working hands (or if a woman, wide birthing hips) you're a shoe in!

[Barack_America]

20. Fuck. I'm narrow-hipped. I'll have to stuff my pants with Charmin.

Hopefully that will work. Whew. Thanks for the tip.

My grandmother had scads of kids. I'll be sure to bring that up.

I don't reallly work that hard though...

[kayakjohnny]

13. Death panel will be to basement restoration what death metal was to.....

oh crap, where was I going with that?

[madokie]

14. I'm getting old, can't hardly get around

and to top it all off my peter don't work right anymore so I'm expecting that letter soon too. damn'm anyway. I'd get the hell out but my feet are of no good for me to run on so I guess it's hide and watch and count my minutes left.
+1

[lillypaddle]

27. try viagra for that peter problem

and if your erection lasts 4 hours or longer, call me at 404-555-1234.

[progressoid]

16. Less of you people means more Soylent Green for the rest of us.

[Horse with no Name]

17. Not to be crass

But can I have your house?

[Curtland1015]

19. You forget this is a communist nation now, Everyone owns my house.

Or socialist... not that there's a difference. At least according to the news I watch.

[Horse with no Name]

22. Fascist, Communist, Socialist et al

To the RW freepers, they are ALL the same thing. You really don't expect them to finesse anything do you?

[Kadie]

18. I thought DU'ers had immunity!

Are you sure it isn't a draft letter for the new Department of Death! A whole new department needs to be formed. Lots of help will be needed.

[TahitiNut]

21. I think it's about time they found something for those draft board people to do.

[Hippo_Tron]

23. Did you get a chance to ask the death panel folks about how they might rule on Sarah Palin?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

25. I thought they were supposed to come to your house

and take you away in an unmarked van?

[PA Democrat]

26. Dick Morris might be interested in your toes.

[Hekate]

29. Oh snap!

[dorkulon]

28. DEATH PANEL!!!11!!

[Curtland1015]

30. Bwahahahahaha!!!

[ThoughtCriminal]

31. NO! You don't have to go to the P.O. for Execution!!!!

Report to the DMV for a few hours in the Agony Booth. See your Acorn Representative for information about alternative treatment options.

[newspeak]

32. yep, I just got my notification in the mail

I'm to report to area 51-911 to the neutralizing chamber. I'm to be neutralized at 10 am on Monday. Ya know gotta keep the population down!!!

[SmileyRose]

33. recommended for the hilarity of the thread

[varelse]

34. Such a shame

the DUzy awards being suspended, I mean. This thread would be a shoo-in.

[SOS]

35. Your private insurer says "Thank you"!

The savings incurred will add a tenth of a cent to their stock price.
This will enable the CEO to buy his daughter an S-class Mercedes for her Sweet 16 party.

You are a modern American patriot!

[Jazzgirl]

37. Well, I got the letter on Thursday. My legs are too short.

I am pretty relieved to know that I have to report to the executioners office on Friday. I'm just tidying up a few loose ends.

[pipi_k]

40. Well I'm postmenopausal, so even the RWers will be glad to be rid of me

Now that I can't breed any more fodder for their War Machine....

[Wizard777]

41. Ha! You should have gotten measured for your chains while you had the chance.

You're going to be euthanized and I'm off to the fields to pick cotton fo' massa Obammy. Swing low sweet chariot.......