This breaking news just in... Michael Jackson is still dead!

[backscatter712]

Doctors have administered an emergency infusion of embalming fluid and placed him in advanced death support. We'll bring you new details as they come out!

Where's Billy Mays? We need an interpreter for the hearing impaired!

[madrchsod]

1. oh yea of little faith..

he will rise and lead the children to the promised land!

[noiretextatique]

2. tasteless and crass

the man's funeral is today.

[rsmith6621]

3. Its Arrogant to be held Hostage.....

....by the MEDIA for twelve days....hell with out embalming fluid MJ would be nothing but flesh shriveled up around his bones by now and the maggots would be fly's....

Again we bury our Presidents quicker and with less fanfare then this spectacle.....IMO this service should have been a week ago today and less of a CIRCUS....and a burden to the citizen sand the county and city treasury of LAX...

Just like Sarah Palin I hope that both of theses events are now behind us so we can bring back to the fore front the troubles this economy is in and see some solutions...


Sadly there people out there who can barely afford $25K for a place to call home.....much less a CASKET.

Perhaps the Jackson's should be dairy Farmers.....cause they sure know how to MILK....

[johnfunk]

4. I'm still trying to get over the "Jacko to be buried without his brain" headlines...

... from The Mirror (UK).

[backscatter712]

5. Fuckin' A!

People accuse me of attacking MJ, but I'm actually attacking the media. I'm ridiculing the circle of vultures around his corpse. The media again has us distracted. Don't look at health care, look at MJ! Don't look at Honduras or Iran, watch the MJ funeral! There's violence against Uighurs in China? Didn't know that. No, don't look at that - didn't you know, MJ might have died of a drug overdose! What about the economy? No, don't you know, they're BURYING MICHAEL JACKSON WITHOUT HIS BRAIN!!!!!!11!1one Oh, you got money? Better buy the retrospective CD, the DVD of the funeral, the T-shirt, the commemorative dinner plates and gold coins and shiny baubles - we've got a dead Michael Jackson trinket industry to sustain!

Look, I'm sorry he's dead, but I didn't know the man. I've never met him. He's just a guy that sings and dances on TV to me. To lots of others, he's a lot more, but I never knew him in person, so excuse me for not expressing a huge amount of grief.

Anyways, I'm back to advocating for health ca.... BREAKING NEWS: Doctors are considering a new experimental mummification procedure to help Michael Jackson in his courageous fight to remain dead!

[SammyWinstonJack]

10. +1

:thumbsup:

[noiretextatique]

11. turn off the fucking television

i don't watch teevee, so i don't know about this supposed hostage sitaution. i hope some random internet poster pisses on your grave when you die though.

[spanone]

13. yes, but our presidents don't entertain us.

[TheCoxwain]

6. That was super funny ..... we should start a new discussion category called 'dark humor'

[backscatter712]

7. Hell yeah! I revel in inappropriateness!!!

Think of it as desensitization therapy for all the ninnies who call the waaaahbulance and demand tombstones everytime someone snarks off here. Some DUers need thicker skin.

[Norwood]

15. Pure awesomeness lmao!

A dark humor category would be great

[backscatter712]

8. MORE BREAKING NEWS...

Sources have reported sightings of a voudon reanimation specialist at the medical center where doctors continue to help Michael in his difficult struggle to remain dead!

[CatWoman]

9. what a pathetic idiot

[NeedleCast]

12. 14

[ecstatic]

14. Did sharting make you feel better? nt