I just sent a letter to Obama about DOMA, with a picture of our family.

[Plaid Adder]

I encourage others who are affected by the Defense of Marriage Act to do the same. I figure it might help make more of an impact if they can see who they're hurting.

Note that on the White House official site, they explicitly ask that you NOT send "personal items such as family photographs" because they will only be chewed up during the security procedures. However, I don't think there's any reason they can object to an image printed directly onto the letter, which is what I did. All you have to do, if you have a digital copy of your photo, is insert it into your MSWord document (or whatever WP program you use) and then print it on a color printer.

Here's the physical address to which you can send your letter:

President Barack Obama
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

My advice, FWIW, is to refrain from using inflammatory or hostile language and try to express your feelings more on the "saddened and disappointed" end of the spectrum. I figure that by writing a letter I am tacitly agreeing to at least pretend that someone in the WH might theoretically care about what I have to say, so that dictates to some extent the tone of the letter.

C ya,

The Plaid Adder

[Starry Messenger]

1. k&r

[ronnykmarshall]

2. Great idea!

I'll do that tonight.

[merh]

3. What a terrific idea.

Did you send a copy to Shin Inouye? He should gather all such letters so that he can sit down with O and let him see the faces of those who are deserve the equality guaranteed by the constitution.

K&R - and thank you

[otohara]

4. I Sent E-mail Yesterday

because I am saddened and hugely disappointed.

[Cha]

5. Excellent way to

communicate what you want.

[Cant trust em]

6. Great point on communication and use of language

I don't get the sense that Obama is the kind of guy to respond to angry rants.

[Plaid Adder]

7. Well, I mean let's be realistic: Obama's not going to see that letter.

It will be opened by a staffer and some box in some database will be checked off and then it will be discarded. But whoever opens the letter will see the image, even if it's only for a second.

The Plaid Adder

[Cant trust em]

8. Still though. I think it's an important tone to set. nt

[Horse with no Name]

27. Never say never

you have a way with prose that very well could possibly make it "stick out".
I'll keep you and your lovely family in my thoughts and hope it could be you.
http://www.france24.com/en/20090224-barack-obama-daily-...
>>>snip
A report by ABC’s Jake Tapper reveals that the new president is reading a selection of 10 letters from the public every morning. And not only is he reading them, he has also developed the habit of distributing the letters ahead of policy meetings, telling aides “this is the sort of person our policy needs to address”.

The letters, selected by the White House Correspondence Office, tell the story of families struggling to make their mortgage payments, of businessmen having a hard time cutting costs, or of divorced parents barely managing to raise their children on social security. Sometimes the purple folder includes letters from children.

Each day, Obama replies to two or three correspondents in his own hand.

[Toasterlad]

24. Nor Anything Short of Witholding Money, It Seems.

I'm not sure why anyone would feel that this Administration or Congress is entitled to polite language. Seems to me, they need to know just how pissed off we are.

[Mira]

9. Wonderful thinking, Plaid Adder. K&R

[Orsino]

10. Great! Only by humanizing the problem will it be solved.

While I don't think it's going to make the president budge (his position is too coldly calculating to yield to individual pleas), this sort of thing contributes to the kind of LBGT-friendly climate in which he will dare to do more.

[T_L_W]

11. why

do you not think they already know gay people are humans?
I don't think the problem is that he doesn't "dare to do more". I think the problem is that he is going in the opposite direction from what was implied during the campaign. He sent someone to DEFEND DOMA. I certainly hope he doesn't dare to do more in the direction he is headed.

[Orsino]

12. I think it would be a mistake to assume that Obama's stated belief...

...(re: marriage is between a man and a woman) is anything more than political expedience. Had he campaigned for marriage equality, I think he would never have been nominated, much less elected. It's simply a task for which he doesn't yet have the political capital to achieve.

No, he doesn't dare to do (much) more until more Americans give up their homophobia. Same goes for almost all the other presidential candidates.

[T_L_W]

13. again

he defended DOMA, the opposite of repealing it. I don't think he cares to dare to do more in the direction we are all hoping he would go.

[Orsino]

16. Not quite correct.

However, even if we interpret the DOJ's required defense in as sinister a fashion as possible, that can't account for this week's good news: http://www.feministing.com/archives/016162.html

President Obama is taking some progressive steps, but he's having to be stealthy because, as you say, he doesn't dare do more. Yet.

[Ms. Toad]

19. You are fooling yourself if you mistake

his profound uncomfortableness with MARRIAGE equality for political expediency.

It is the reason I did not become a supporter of his until after Edwards dropped out (Edwards stated position was not much different, but his interactions with the GLBT community indicated that even though he was personally uncomfortable, intellectually he knew that his discomfort was wrong - and was actively struggling with it. Obama is quite comfortable embracing separate but equal.)

Generally I support what he is doing as president, am amazed at how many different fronts he manages to juggle so proficiently, but I am (not unexpectedly) profoundly disappointed with his benign neglect - and in some cases worse - of our community.

[Orsino]

20. No.

As long as homophobia is politically expedient, we will never know how President Obama really feels about marriage equality. He's never been able to articulate this alleged discomfort--and for such an articulate man, I think this is a strong hint that his stated belief is something of a put-on.

[Ms. Toad]

22. Enjoy your fantasy world

I've been in the trenches on this issue for 28 years, publicly, privately, in the churches, and in the courts. I have enough experience to know the difference between political expediency and deep down discomfort.

It doesn't have to be articulated in words to be recognizable; in fact it would be very rare for someone who publicly purports to support gay rights to express that discomfort because s/he knows it is "wrong." From closely following the primaries it is clear it is something Edwards and Obama shared - Edwards was at least honest about his discomfort, and you have to be honest about it before there is any hope of moving past it.

[Orsino]

23. If you could articulate it, you might convince me.

I've spotted no evidence that Obama's opposition to marriage equality is something more than political expediency.

[Ms. Toad]

25. Sorry - but someone feeling

fundamentally uncomfortable with your marriage is just something you just know.

If you haven't personally experienced that disconnect between the words someone uses to express where they would like to be or know they should be and that person's gut reaction to your race, gender, sexual orientation, whatever difference you'd like to name (which doesn't generally ever get expressed in words), nothing I say is going to convince you.

[Orsino]

29. Is it something you've seen on TV, or in person?

Something the president has said, or done?

[Ms. Toad]

30. if you're still looking for specifics that can be articulated

you have obviously never experienced someone who is profoundly uncomfortable with your family - at the same time he is saying all the right words to suggest that he supports you. It's similar to listening to two musical performers - each of whom is technically perfect, yet one clearly lives the music while the other is merely performing it. A computer analyzing the performance would rate them identically, but real live people - particularly other musicians - would know the difference even though there was nothing articulably different in their performances.

For just a little flavor of it, try watch his signing speech and ask yourself if it is the same eloquence he has in other speeches on fairness and equity issues - compare it, for example, to his speech on signing the Lilly Ledbetter act.

[Orsino]

31. I have noticed that his behavior differs.

It's one of those subjects he loses his eloquence on, and so I've presumed that I was seeing cognitive dissonance rather than bigotry--as with discussions of the wars. Very similar behavior, to my eye.

I think he would like to stick up for equality, but he's doing it only subtly, and on the big questions, he's failing us. Perhaps less so than any previous president, though.

[Strong Atheist]

32. Welcome to DU!

[Lone_Star_Dem]

14. What a brilliant idea regarding the photo!

I also agree with the idea of not using inflammatory language.

We're all Americans and have a right to the same level of respect and civil rights. The time has long since passed for any American to have to fight the politicization of what should be an innate part of being an American. Basic equality.

[Jokerman]

15. You ROCK Plaid!!! K&R

[mtnester]

17. Wonderful Idea

at this point, anything helps

It is sad that you feel you have to couch your feelings though. I think you would be able to discuss this in a way that can easily be understood and engarner empathy from those who truly have the ability, or the DESIRE, to feel it. You are allowed to be emotional about those you love.

[Vidar]

18. K&R.

[AntiFascist]

21. K&R, excellent idea!

The day after DADT was announced, I sent a polite letter to President Clinton describing the effects of a march in the steets the previous evening, and how people seemed to be cheering us on.

[babylonsister]

26. What a great idea, and nice to see you! Rec'd. nt

[HughMoran]

28. Great idea - K&R!!

I think this is a really good idea - I bet Obama will respond to a flood of real life stories - pics can't hurt either.