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From the Archives, my vote for the "Best Ayn Rand Post Ever"...

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Junkdrawer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 11:05 AM
Original message
From the Archives, my vote for the "Best Ayn Rand Post Ever"...
With Ayn Rand being kicked around DU again, I thought I'd once again dig up a "Best of DU" post...

DUer Telly Savalas from 10/2005:

Ella turned towards the window, folded her arms, and said, "Kent, I cannot understand why you read that drivel. If there's anything worse than a bad political philosopher, it's a bad political philosopher who writes bad novels to present her flawed ideas. It's bad enough when she writes nonfiction works that foist assertions and conjecture on the reader and tries to pass it off as 'reason', but when she tries to dress it up in a fictional work with one-dimensional characters and a cheesy plot, it's downright putrid. I'd go so far as to say that her writings dishonor the thousands of years of evolution required for humans to develop language skills.

"The worst element of her 'writing' is how utterly ridiculous the dialogue is. In real life people converse with one another, they don't take turns delivering speeches to one another. If she'd ever spent anytime actually interacting with another human being who wasn't clinically insane, she'd know this and it would be reflected in her writing.

"Furthermore, don't you think she could go to more effort to be a bit more terse? I mean, Jesus Christ, I've seen bumperstickers that are more nuanced than one of her novels, so I don't see why she can't be more succinct in the exposition of her cheap little 'ideas'. Does it really take an 800 page novel to say "guvmint bad, capitalism good"?

"Face it, Kent. She's a second-rate hack that makes Jackie Collins look like Dostoevsky. Put that shit down and do something a bit more intellectually engaging. For instance, there's a Dukes of Hazzard marathon on the country network. Try watching that instead."

Kent set the book on the table and glanced up at Ella.

"Ella," he said, "I see your collectivist friends have poisoned your mind with these bizarre ideas about word economy and multi-dimensional characters. Such things are only devices to enslave the Individualist. Every word the Individualist says is a gift to the universe, so the universe benefits the more he speaks. Hence all this silliness about being brief when trying to make a point does not apply to the Individualist.

"Let's be clear, Ella, that when I say the Individualist gives a gift to the world by expressing his thoughts, it is not altruism that motivates the giving of this gift. No. No. No. Altruism is an evil sentiment that only results in atrocities like child labor laws and homeless people being fed. Thus the Individualist is ego-driven. By satisfying my own desires and showing complete contempt for the needs of others, I make the laissez-faire capitalist system work as it should and the benefits rain down on everyone. Although many economists prefer to use the term 'trickle down.'

"For instance, when I enriched your life last week by giving you a 45 minute lecture on the necessity of abolishing the capital gains tax, I didn't do it because I wanted to please you. Rather I did it because I love the sound of my own voice. The fact that you were enlightened by my observations is only secondary. Nevertheless it demonstrates my point about how being selfish is superior to being altruistic. Had I been altruistic and payed heed to you wish for me to...what was that phrase you used repeatedly? 'Shut the fuck up', I believe it was? Well, had I done that, then you'd have spent the rest of your life unaware of the great thoughts that course through my mind on an hourly basis.

"Yes, Ella. It amazes me how unwilling the collectivist mind is to accept the truth. Why wasn't it just last week when you were claiming that society should chain down the Individual by using some of his resources to aid victims of Hurricane Katrina? After I was able to overcome my feeling of horror and disgust that you would suggest denying the Individual his Freedom, I successfully rebutted your point by observing that A equals A, therefore it logically follows that the so called victims should fend for themselves and not depend on the altruism of collectivists. Rather than daring to challenge this impenetrable logic, you simply dismissed my comments by calling me an asshole. Were I a petty collectivist, I might have taken offense at that remark. However, I am a noble Individual and know that your hurtful words were motivated by your envy of my superior intellect. For it is individuals such as I who propel society forward.

"Um...the Individual's freedom should be regarded as...um...Egoism is the one true...um...er...what was it we were talking about, Ella?"


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=4973593#4975243
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Richard Steele Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 11:09 AM
Response to Original message
1. Sweet! K&R
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 11:16 AM
Response to Original message
2. Dayum, the Telly has her style DOWN
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lapfog_1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 11:18 AM
Response to Original message
3. The short happy life of Kent, the Ayn Rand student.
Wilson stood up and saw the buffalo on his side, his legs out, his thinly-haired belly crawling with ticks. “Hell of a good bull,” his brain registered automatically. “A good fifty inches, or better. Better.” He called to the driver and told him to spread a blanket over the body of Ayn Rand's acolyte and stay by it. Then he walked over to the motor car where Ayn Rand sat crying in the corner.

“That was a pretty thing to do,” he said in a toneless voice. “Kent would have left you too.”

“Stop it,” she said.

“Of course it’s an accident,” he said. “I know that.”

“Stop it,” she said.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “There will be a certain amount of unpleasantness but I will have some photographs taken that will be very useful at the inquest. There’s the testimony of the gun-bearer and the driver too. You’re perfectly all right.”

“Stop it,” she said.

“There’s a hell of a lot to be done,” he said. “And I’ll have to send a truck off to the lake to wireless for a plane to take the three of us into Nairobi. Why didn’t you poison him? That’s what they do in England.”

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it,” the woman cried.

Wilson looked at her with his flat blue eyes.

“I’m through now,” he said. “I was a little angry. I’d begun to like your student.”

“Oh, please stop it,” she said. “Please, please stop it.”

==============================================================================================================

Hey Ayn... THAT'S how people talk to each other. You are a hack and a horrible person.
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 12:18 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. Please STOP putting long strings of "=" or "_" in posts and learn to use [hr].
This


works


far


better.

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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 12:19 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. Can you see
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------what-I'm-talking-about?????????????????????????
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lapfog_1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 12:32 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. no I can't see, my browser actually works.
And it was only 111 "=" signs. Not the 305 "-"s that you used.

Is this worth two posts by the html police?



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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 01:37 PM
Response to Reply #9
13. My mistake. Pardon me. I'm so sorry to actually attempt to READ what you posted.
That's an error I won't repeat. Unlike you, I can actually take feedback and learn from it. So, for the first time in eight years on DU I'll use the Ignore List to save me the trouble of bothering to deal with anything you post.

PLONK!

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lapfog_1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 07:54 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. I use that feature of DU all the time, especially for people
who feel the need to just be hypercritical assholes.

If you had offered it as a (minor) suggestion, instead as a personal affront to your sensibilities about how things should be posted, I wouldn't snap back.

But hey, that's just me.

Ignore away, if you feel so inclined.
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 08:59 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Oh, lookie! Isn't that cute?
Edited on Sat Jun-06-09 08:59 PM by TahitiNut
An arrogant, adolescent ignoramus actually replied AFTER I said he was the first and only person in my Ignore List in eight years. Shit-for-brains can't read, either.
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devilgrrl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 01:21 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. Great tip!
I did not know that! :dunce:

:thumbsup:
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 09:02 PM
Response to Reply #11
17. I'm glad my post wasn't wasted. Thanks.
You're obviously NOT an immature asshat that hates an HTML tip like some.

:hi:

:rofl:
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Cirque du So-What Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 12:04 PM
Response to Original message
4. I remember this bit of faux Rand quite well
One of the best!

Thanks for giving it another round of exposure.
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The_Commonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 12:05 PM
Response to Original message
5. Here's MY favorite Ayn Rand moment...
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Batgirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 12:08 PM
Response to Original message
6. I remember that too, it's still just as hilarious -- thanks for digging it up! nt
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bleever Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 01:15 PM
Response to Original message
10. A classic!
Thanks for the reprise.
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MisterP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 01:33 PM
Response to Original message
12. we'll there's always the "young Rosa Klebb" post
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Junkdrawer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-06-09 02:12 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. I found this on the cited thread....

There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.

...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=103&topic_id=453691&mesg_id=453705

:rofl:
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catzies Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-07-09 06:27 PM
Response to Original message
18. Error: you can only recommend threads which were started in the past 24 hours
But I can :kick: it. Very well said and a must-read.
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