Despondent dads driven to kill loved ones

[Liberal_in_LA]

Despondent dads driven to kill loved ones

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/05/19/murder.suicide.families/index.html


In research during nearly three decades, Dr. Philip Resnick, director of the division of forensic psychiatry at Case Western, has outlined two motives for familicides: revenge or despondency. In latter cases, a "nonhostile, hopeless father" kills his family to save them from perceived doom, because he feels unable to provide for them.

"They become very depressed as the breadwinner," Resnick said. "With their distorted, depressive perceptions, they feel that rather than allow their children to go hungry, they may feel they're doing a favor to take their family with them as they end their own life. ... They're not depriving them of life, they're ending what they see as an intolerable life."

In recent cases, some men were facing financial turmoil. In April, a New York attorney who was involved in questionable financial dealings asphyxiated and beat his wife and 11- and 19-year-old daughters in a Maryland hotel. Investigators later found that $20 million from his clients was missing.

A man who decides to commit suicide might want to avoid his family facing the stigma, said Richard James Gelles, dean of the School of Social Policy and Practice at the University of Pennsylvania.

"They couldn't leave people behind to be ashamed and humiliated," said Gelles.

On the night of his birthday in 2003, Curt Wheat shot his wife, Marie, as she slept in their bedroom, then shot himself. Neither of the couple's two children was at the Sahuarita, Arizona, house during the shooting.

His then 29-year-old daughter, Cari Wheat was living in San Francisco, California. Wheat believes her father pulled the trigger out of a sense of love for her mother.

[Xipe Totec]

1. That is not love; that's narcissism n/t

[cali]

8. absolutely spot on. n/t

[ShortnFiery]

2. There's no way in Hell that KILLING people, healthy or not, is out of a sense of love.

The only instance that I would consider "love" to enter the equation is IF the victim is in INTENSE PAIN and will die anyway.

Otherwise, no, I can't relate - at all. ZIP!

[librechik]

3. "Loving "fathers-- driven to assert the ultimate control over their loved ones

are delusional and deserve no sympathy.

They mistakenly believe only their influence has kept the family alive--without the fathers' superior strength, the others would simply die.

They are sick sick people, Narcissists who deserve no sympathy.

How DARE THEY!!!!

And how dare this doctor defend them.

[Berry Cool]

13. They are not "defending" them, they are attempting to explain the line of thought

going on in their heads, as warped as it is. There is a difference between defense and explanation.

Oh, and for the record, the author here is sloppy: "Case Western" is not the way to abbreviate the name of the university, it's "Case Western Reserve." The phrase "Western Reserve" has to be kept together; otherwise the name makes no sense.

[librechik]

15. apologies

should try to have more empathy--have my reasons, duh

cheers! and thx for the "CW" 411, BC

[CBR]

4. It was on Law and Order once -- they were called

family annihilators. Generally, white, middle-class, in financial trouble, no history of family problems etc...

[Mythsaje]

6. Criminal Minds too...n/t

[Arugula Latte]

5. Women take things out on themselves. Some -- SOME -- men take it out on others.

These types of killings are often about male power at their root, IMO.

[Mythsaje]

7. Totally beyond my understanding...

Of course, I've been accused of being more maternal than paternal, so what do I know?

[Withywindle]

14. Unfathomable too.

I've been in some dark places in my life. I've considered suicide. A large part of the reason I haven't done it is because I couldn't bear to hurt my family and friends that much. I don't think this makes me a superior person to those who do, or anything, it's just that I'm fortunate enough to still have a link to reality and some faith in the value of my relationships.

I do not understand the mentality of those who think they have the right to take their family with them. I suppose I'd have more sympathy for those who do it out of despair if these cases weren't also linked so often with men whose wives are leaving them, hence they feel they're losing the CONTROL they're entitled to, and if they can't "have 'em", nobody will. The actual value of the wife and children as seperate, individual people who may be quite resourceful enough to find a way on their own, or not, never seems to play a role in the decision-making process. Or at least not enough of one to stop the murder.

I just can't see any altruism in it. Seems to me more like barbarian chieftains of old who have their wife and favorite slaves killed when they die to serve them in the afterlife.

[soothsayer]

9. more evidence that men are more emotional---more hysterical---than women

Stock mkt proves it, too.

[lunatica]

10. Acute depression and despair really distort people's thinking and perceptions

I think to say this is just narcissism isn't totally right. These are men who otherwise don't feel the urge to kill so it's likely that it may be a narcissistic disorder mixed with acute depression. What the article calls despondency is probably a very profound depression mixed with despair.

Anyone who has suffered from depression has been in that really dark place where it seems this world is truly a horrible place to exist. People who commit suicide can't bear to keep living in a world they perceive is so horrible. I can see where the extrapolation would be to take your entire family with them. They would believe they're leaving their families in a world they themselves can't bear to exist in.

Not trying to make excuses. Just trying to understand since I've suffered from depression all my life. Depression is the worst kind of psychic pain I can think of. At it's worst you feel like suicide would be a huge release. Once I seriously thought of committing suicide when I was in a horrible depression that had lasted for weeks. The thought actually gave me a tiny rush of energy. It actually cheered me up for a moment because it felt like I could escape being depressed. My next thought was that if I did commit suicide I could be stuck in a worse place for eternity and fully aware with no escape ever. That thought actually made me decide not to commit suicide, just in case there is an afterlife. That was when I made the choice to fight the depression and do whatever it took to get out of it.

Life and the world and existence looks very different when you're that depressed and in despair.

[REP]

11. Suicidal depression is not killing your family

Depression is a serious illness, and a dangerous one if untreated - but dangerous to the person who has it, not those living in the same house Someone who kills his family to "spare" them economic hardship is suffering something other than and/or in addition to depression.

[lunatica]

12. I tried to explain that in my post

We can't just throw these murderers out with the kitchen sink by just passing judgement and dismissing them as mere narcissists. There are just too many of these crimes happening now. There is a link to some mental illnesses being aggravated by the present economic circumstances. In other words there is something more than just a narcissistic or control explanation here.

If there is something here that can be addressed by our society perhaps it could help minimize these crimes. Even if it happens after much study and experimentation in mental health treatment.