Babies, boyfriends and bad tempers: A deadly mix

[Liberal_in_LA]

Babies, boyfriends and bad tempers: A deadly mix

By SHERRI ACKERMAN

Published: May 15, 2009

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When Reid went back into the house, he covered the baby's mouth. But nothing could quell the crying. So Reid head-butted the infant with so much force, he told Polk County sheriff's deputies, that his head hurt, too. :puke:

Finally, the baby fell asleep. Miraculously, he survived. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen, his nose likely broken. When his mother returned home, she rushed him to the hospital, where doctors confirmed he had been abused. Reid denied it.

Eleven months later, out on bail and awaiting trial on child abuse charges, Reid again would be entrusted with the care of a girlfriend's infant son.

This time, the baby, 4-month-old Jeremiah Shaneyfelt of Kissimmee, died.

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2009/may/15/na-babies-boyfriends-and-bad-tempers/news-metro/

Boyfriends killing their girlfriends' children has become so prevalent, a state committee and at least one child welfare advocate are tracking such deaths locally. They hope to use their findings to better educate caseworkers and the public and ultimately keep children alive.

In the past six years, mothers' boyfriends were accused in the deaths of 13 children in Hillsborough, Pasco and Pinellas counties. The most recent - that of little Emanuel Wesley Murray, thrown from a car on Interstate 275 in Tampa - especially horrified the public. But the cases have a lot in common. The men typically are 18 and 30, unemployed with little education and saddled with criminal records that include substance abuse or domestic violence.

Often, they are the caregivers for children whose mothers work or go to school. They have no emotional connection to the child and usually don't know how to soothe a crying baby or understand why it's dangerous to shake an infant. And they almost always lie at first about how a child was injured.

[WillParkinson]

1. Let's not forget...

Parents who do stupid things like leave the child in the care (for a second time!) of the person who abused him/her in the first place.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

5. She should be charged also.

[MrsMatt]

8. It seemed like it was a different girlfriend

the way I read the article.

Doesn't excuse the stupidity of leaving a vulnerable person with someone who has been accused of abuse.

[canetoad]

2. A topic that angers me more and more

each time I read a story of such violence and abuse.

A lose/lose situation. There is no cure, no solution. I grieve.

[SoCalDem]

3. Ultimately , it's "Mom's" responsibility

SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Sun Apr-17-05 09:09 AM
Original message
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=3493433#3493549
With Mothers' Day approaching, it pains me to see so many BAD mothers

I guess we have glamorized mothers over the years, and no one ever wants to BE a bad mother, but so many seem to be "achieving" that status...Can it be an accident?

The sad thing here is that the bad mother may pay with a few months in jail or a longer sentence...she may pay in later years when her surviving children don't write, call, or visit...but the ones who REALLY pay are the children she "loses" along the way.

Nature (survival of the fittest) has determined that mothers are responsible for the care of their young. It may be sexist, but for a few exceptions it's just a fact. Even reptiles who do not rear their young, have motherly duties beyond mating and laying eggs. The reptile mother who lays her eggs in the wrong spot will not have any young survive. Mammalian moms have it more difficult... they must also teach their young, in addition to feeding and protecting them.

It seems to me that the animals, as under assault as they are these days, seem to be doing a better job that some human moms.

We see the "mother" in the MJ case, who apparently pimped her kid (who had cancer) to MJ. Now even if one believes that he is not a pedophile, is it really a good idea to let a man in his 40's (famous or not) sleep with your adolescent son? Does taking money and gifts make it ok?

We see the mother who was "absent" from her daughter's life, so she lived with her Dad and his parents. Jessica was apparently well cared for (for 9 years) and I am sure her dad and grandparents loved her, but the fact remains.... a predator living practically next door killed her. I am not saying that her mother being there could have necessarily prevented it, but mothers are important to a girl that age, and perhaps having mother in her life could have "outed" this creepy guy before he had a chance to grab her.

Now another young girl is killed in Florida, and it looks like it's a guy her mother "dated". Mothers who choose companionship over their children's safety, are jeopardizing their lives for a few meals out, some flowers, a romp in the hay.

Single moms are sometimes the best moms in the world, BECAUSE they know that they are IT, as far as protecting their kids. There is no Dad to jump in and help. Single moms I have known do not even let their kids MEET their "boyfriend" until they are SURE of what kind of a person he is , and he has been "vetted".

Lots of predators LOOK for the needy woman with a child. They flatter the woman, but deep down it's their KID that they want. Somewhere along the line those mothers have turned their "radar" off, in exchange for some personal attention.

We are going to lose a lot more children if things don't change. Putting GPS monitors on every predator we know of will not keep chldren from being killed. It will only help us find the perpetrator after the fact. And "tagging" predators will not address a bigger problem.. the Dad, step-dad, boyfriend, scout leader, pillar of society, the minister, the school teacher, the coach...These are predators who sneak under the radar. They may not kill the child, but they do kill their souls, and self esteem.and worst of all. they steal their childhoods. That's something that can never be regained

A better solution might be to really help mothers..especially single moms. Lots of girls are growing up (and have been for a long time) without guidance from THEIR moms, so when they have children, they just wing it.

A few things could help a LOT:

Decent affordable day care (older children need looking after too)

Housing that is not in the WORST areas (where scuzzy low-lifes congregate)

Education so that moms do not have to work the lowest paid jobs, and several of them , just to get by...leaving no time with their children


No one looks into the eyes of their newborn and thinks that they will be a bad mom. They see those little eyes looking at them and imagine all the wonderful things in store for that baby, but somewhere along the line, a lot of those babies are being lost..

This is a stain on our society...that we cannot seem to protect our young...and we don't seem to be making much headway.

Some people march around with signs to make sure every baby is born, but how many are marching with signs, insisting that mothers get help to raise those babies?

[Liberal_in_LA]

4. good points, good post

Agree about the need for daycare.

[TexasObserver]

6. They're equally culpable.

The women who pick these men and leave their child with him are equally to blame.

[Number23]

7. Why are they focusing on boyfriends??

In this article, HALF of the killers were the child's own mother!

"In 2008, members reviewed 163 deaths that occurred in 2007.

Of the 241 perpetrators, 119 were the mother; 54, the father; 19, a grandparent; and 13, a boyfriend.

The majority of the children were white infant boys. Forty-five died of physical abuse with more than half of them suffering head injuries."

Moms were responsible for the majority of neglect fatalities, such as drowning, but the committee also found mothers failed to protect their children from male abusers.

Sickening.

[mitchum]

9. Because that doesn't play into the "XY spells EVIL" narrative