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When I was going to high school, to many girls we same-aged guys simply didn't exist.

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Smith_3 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:00 PM
Original message
When I was going to high school, to many girls we same-aged guys simply didn't exist.
Edited on Mon Feb-23-09 12:02 PM by Smith_3
They almost always looked primarily after the guys who were at least two or three years older. I guess that's just the way it often is. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

edit: This is in response to this thread http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=5108645&mesg_id=5108645
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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:14 PM
Response to Original message
1. I was the dateless darling of my high school
not because I wasn't pretty, I saw guys staring at me walk into light posts. It wasn't because I was religious, I wasn't. It wasn't because I had strict parents, I didn't have a curfew after 16.

I was the one who coasted through all the academic stuff without doing any homework. My scores on everything from competitions in French through math through the college boards were a consistent 20% above everybody else's. I scared the hell out of you guys, although if you'd ever asked for help I'd have given it.

Face it, you all wanted the vapid cheerleaders and the rest of the girls in your class didn't exist because they just didn't measure up to the ideal of pretty and bouncy and non challenging.

So kwitcherbitchin. At least half the fault was yours for not accepting us for who we really are.
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driver8 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:16 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. You sound like the girl I had a HUGE crush on!!
But I was afraid to talk to her because she was so effin' smart!!

We are good friends now, and I still have a thing for her!
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:37 PM
Response to Reply #4
14. lol lol ah highschool. this is what i was going to say. not for a minute
did all the guys want the cheerleaders. i knew many that had NO interest in the cheerleaders and didnt particularly like them. but.... they are young and shy and would have a crush forever

i found out, after highschool, guys had crush on me. i also had two huge brothers that would hear about it before me and they would threaten them.....

ah highschool
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madokie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #14
31. Oops
I can remember when I was one of them big brothers :-)
don't be jacking with my lil sis now you hear
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:16 PM
Response to Reply #31
34. oh.... lmao. i had no idea
none. a couple years out i met a guy and he told me. oh the stories he told me. i was so royally pissed. my brother a year over me was a big ole football linebacker and could kick any person ass in the school.

i had no idea.

you are bad.... bad you. you just do not know what you did to your sister.

i had three friggin fathers growing up

that is funny


thanks for the laugh
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cobalt1999 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:27 PM
Response to Reply #1
11. I don't know if I buy your analysis
Sure going out with the occasional cheerleader was fun, but I remember being a H.S. boy and it would take more than good grades to scare us off. It didn't with me or my friends anyway.

In fact, it's almost impossible to scare off H.S. boys when it comes to a pretty girl. Give teen boys a smile, eye contact, and a little undivided attention and they're hooked. It doesn't change much over the years either.
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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:35 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. I actually had shitty grades
because I only did homework if it interested me, which it rarely did.

In other words, I was no grind.

I think you've forgotten how incredibly conformist high school is.
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bbernardini Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:48 PM
Response to Reply #1
18. Maybe they were stunned by your modesty? nt
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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:59 PM
Response to Reply #18
22. Shoot, I thought the whole thing was funny
and I've never thought it was anything but a party trick.

Why did you think a statement of fact was boasting?

Fortunately, college was different because by that time, kids are far less conformist.
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 03:46 PM
Response to Reply #1
55. In my (last) high school, the cheerleaders were also the honor students and class officers.
Not every high school met that "cookie-cutter" stereotype of dumb jocks vs. shunned nerds. Not at all. While the first high school I attended could be so characterized -- eggheads vs. greasers vs. jocks vs. cool kids -- the second high school was far more sane. The class leaders were also on the athletic teams and cheerleadrs and they were among the best students as well. Pete and I were (somewhat) the exceptions, neither of us with athletic ability and both with after-school needs for part-time jobs. But we were the top in National Merit and statewide Math competition. We were the smartest ... and our friends were the cheerleaders and jocks. We hung together. We also had motorheads and shop monkeys in the mix. While most weekend parties were limited to the more affluent kids, we weren't 'outsiders' in school.


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ProfessorGAC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 06:18 AM
Response to Reply #1
59. Very Broad Brush Warpy
I was the smart one in high school, myself. And, the girl i dated back then was an honor student as well. So, let's not get nuts about guys being intimidated by smart. Guys that age are interested in cute! They don't need vapid. They need cute!

I did. No amount of smart would intimidate me from pursuing cute.
GAC
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Lost in CT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 07:34 PM
Response to Reply #59
68. Now that is the truth...
It's is just easier for woman to say I am too smart (or successful) rather than admit they are not cute enough.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 08:10 PM
Response to Reply #68
72. that is mean. chip on shoulder much....
what an ass.
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Lost in CT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 08:19 PM
Response to Reply #72
73. No it is accurate... Honestly this is no more mean than claiming that all men are shallow and fear
intelligence.

It also happens to be a perceptive look at the sour grapes stories many teenage girls (and boys) tell themselves.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 08:28 PM
Response to Reply #73
74. may be but your post sounds more like a guy that has been rejected by a female
one too many times....

the better way to not come off sounding like the ass, if you really had a point is to suggest the poster isnt correct. but to attack her look, ergo trying to humiliate her is bullshit.... and typical.

she could be beautiful, you dont have a clue.... not a friggin clue. she could preceive that is why no one is interested and could be many different reasons why, having NOTHING to do with her looks. but you attack on looks

not accurate. cant be accurate when you have NO knowledge
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Lost in CT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 08:31 PM
Response to Reply #74
75. I was responding to professor gac who said he didn't mind smart but he needed cute.
A. we are talking about High School (I was shallow then as well)

B. We are talking hypotheticals.

I wasn't looking to hrt or even reffer to the original poster
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 08:34 PM
Response to Reply #75
76. hm
gotcha....

:)
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Threedifferentones Donating Member (820 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 07:16 PM
Response to Reply #1
66. And I suppose you were this aware and articulate about your own situation in high school
And you went out of your way to be extremely honest with other kids, the way boys should have been towards you?

Kwitcherbitchin indeed, when it comes to relationships or lack thereof there is always plenty of blame to go around, in my experiences at least.
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SharonAnn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 07:55 PM
Response to Reply #1
71. Hmmm, I could've written that.
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theoldman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:14 PM
Response to Original message
2. And when they get to be 50 they look for a guy 10 years younger.
I think I know the answer but I will let the gals enlighten us guys.
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notadmblnd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 07:45 PM
Response to Reply #2
70. I'm 50 and I don't look for younger guys. They come to me.
Edited on Wed Feb-25-09 07:46 PM by notadmblnd
and it's not because I'm cute either. I think they want to be "mothered". By that I mean they want approval and they want to be fed. I'm also an "old man magnet" and I haven't figured out why they go for me. But the ones my own age, they simply don't exist as far as I can see.:shrug:
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pink-o Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #2
77. That's cuz guys in their 50s are pretty stuck in their ways
Edited on Wed Feb-25-09 08:42 PM by pink-o
Not all, of course, but many I've been set up with never want to go out or break routine. I get it, I'm 54 and I'm to the point that if I deviate from my habits I immediately get lost or lose my stuff cuz in real life I don't remember anything 30 seconds after it happened. But Dudes, come on! I love to travel, I run and cycle, and there's gotta be more to life than watching the same TV shows every night! That's what my 85 year old father does.

Also, my boomer generation is among the last whose mothers stayed home like June Cleaver and Donna Reed--some men still have a hard time understanding that women aren't put on this earth to carry their water, pick up their socks, clean and cook for them (after working an eight-hour day themselves). Younger guys don't expect that of you so much.

Sorry if that offends, but it's my perception here in the dating world. As for High School--well, I was 6'1" by the time I was 14, so I tended to date older guys back then. Luckily, like the OP, I never had any problems with them being predatory, and my the first guy I had sex with at aged 16 was a really wonderful 18 year old guy. We also were together for quite awhile, especially considering teenage years!

(edited due to BAD verb agreement in one sentence!)
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:16 PM
Response to Original message
3. i went to school, worked and took care of my terminally ill mother, no time for dating.
was i more mature for my age, most likely, it turned me into a 40 year old.
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davikim Donating Member (66 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:00 PM
Response to Reply #3
23. me too,
I just read a post about kids caretaking parents and how they resent it. I so rarely do, it was the only life I knew. Also, I didn't turn purty until about 35. That seems fair to me........
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:05 PM
Response to Reply #23
26. huh, i'm sure you were purty before then. Anyhow i'm sure part of me resented
it at the time but my mom was dying and i was and in home hospice was all she had, what i did resent was my Dad, he could have helped but chose not too, same thing with my sister and now they're both dealing with that guilt, tough shit.
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 03:48 PM
Response to Reply #23
56. Welcome to DU. (FWIW, I used to live in West Richland ... on Melinda Drive.)
Small world. :hi:
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glowing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:17 PM
Response to Original message
5. maturity level..
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Vinca Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:18 PM
Response to Original message
6. Well . . . duh . . . the older guys had cars. nt
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cobalt1999 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:19 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. That's what I was thinking
The number of girls interested in going out with me went WAY up once mom & dad didn't have to drive.

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KG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:20 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. true dat. i was invisible to the chicks till i got a car as a senior. all of a sudden everybody knew
my name!
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PVnRT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 03:12 PM
Response to Reply #6
49. ...and smokes
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Selatius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:20 PM
Response to Original message
8. Speaking as a male, I'd have to say many girls my age preferred older guys as well.
I guess it's because older guys appeared to be--"appeared" being the operative word here--more experienced and mature and may have had a little more spending money. The older you get, the more often you find girls a little younger than you becoming interested in you. That's not to say all girls around your age prefer somebody older. Plenty of other girls would date guys the same age as them, and some of them are willing to date guys younger than themselves.

I guess males mature mentally more slowly than females. :shrug: Then again, a lot of guys are a bunch of douchebags as well who would have no second thoughts on taking advantage of somebody they perceive as naive and inexperienced.
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Oregone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:21 PM
Response to Original message
10. Same here, then I married someone from high school years later
She was not available in high school, because she was always dating older jerks. You basically just sit there quietly in waiting. Some eventually get bored and go after the available girls (who were younger)
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dustbunnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:29 PM
Response to Original message
12. It's a circle of life type of thing.
When you hit 20 all the 16-year-olds start to notice you.

When you get to 40, suddenly all kinds of 20-something women are available, especially if you have that salt 'n pepper thing going.

Not a bad deal if you ask me. You just have to wait it out.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #12
15. really, when you were 20, were you really looking at the salt and pepper cause i wanted the hunk
i wanted the guy my age with my energy. i had no interest in old. i didnt need someone to take care of me and i didnt want to get married and have kids. old wasnt a draw
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dustbunnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:52 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. It was a 4-year-phase thing.

Luckily I snapped out of it. :D

The reasons for it: Availability mostly. In the city I lived, there were gazillions of older guys (with money, but also without) who aggressively pursued young women. on the street, in cafes, shops, work, you name it. Still are, from what I can see. You get worn down after awhile, or seduced by the intelligent maturity, the manners, etc.

I believe it also happens because young women still consider economics when selecting SOs in many case. Look at all those CEOs, celebrities etc. After the mid-life thing they end up with some young, willowy lovely who passes the check list - the 3 H's (height, hooters, and hair). Look at Tony Randall!! OMG!! Remember Jackie and Onassis?
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:01 PM
Response to Reply #19
24. when i lived in san diego at 18, first time really on own, desperate
broke and hungry, in a couple week period i had three different old farts offer the ole sugar daddy thing. i had to do some reflecting and just couldnt see doing it with them lol lol and had to decide nope, not for me, have to depend on self. and that was the last time i considered that kind of an arrangement. was a positive experience to just tuck that thought behind me and never have to revisit.
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dustbunnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:11 PM
Response to Reply #24
29. Old farts!!

:D Same thing here, although not overtly offering that. I went out on dates to museums, plays, excellent restaurants, but it was like going out with my dad, and wasn't for me either. They were really pleasant, fun evenings though, better than going out to smelly bars and clubs with guys my age. I did date someone for a couple of years who was 10 years older, which put him in the early 30s, which was okay.

I always thought, since all these older guys are ALWAYS divorced, that maybe they picture themselves before marriage, and haven't realized they aged. Or, see themselves passing into another phase in life and want to get all they can while they're able. Either that, or have finally become successful and want to buy what they couldn't get earlier on.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:14 PM
Response to Reply #29
33. about 43
you start seeing the handwriting on the wall and it is really challenging the next couple years. i chose to embrace old.... in all its glory and not so glory

i think.... just opinion, guys have a particularly hard time and they are looking back to prove they arent going forward. it is desperation, pure and simple.
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dustbunnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:24 PM
Response to Reply #33
35. Yes, desperation, and wistfulness maybe?
Edited on Mon Feb-23-09 01:29 PM by dustbunnie
Hoping youthfulness will rub off on them. John Fowles wrote a short story about this very topic in "The Ebony Tower" that was just so sad.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:26 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. getting old is not for the weak of heart....
lol lol

lookin back can only make it so much harder
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dustbunnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:36 PM
Response to Reply #36
39. Lol, well I won't wish for it before its time -

but think it's wonderful to share it with someone you love. I'm looking forward to spending every life-phase left with mine. You sound like you have a lovely relationship. :) From your posts, I think we both settled down later rather than earlier, so there's much less "stuff" to figure out and you can just get on with enjoying life and each other.

Strangely enough, back on the original topic, a lot of those nerdy guys in school ended up achieving dreams and becoming something great, while the popular guys faded away. Sometimes it really is a wait game. Late bloomers become beautiful flowers.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:44 PM
Response to Reply #39
41. you are so right on. what i tell my sons now. i cant wait until he gets to college
Edited on Mon Feb-23-09 01:48 PM by seabeyond
so life can be his.... not a kid, never has been

yes.... waiting until older absolutely has advantages. both hubby and i did ALL our playing, mistakes, alone time, fixing our fuckups and baggage from teen years, lol, before getting together and we were both clear what we wanted in life.... it makes it so much easier.



cheers to you
:toast:

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dustbunnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:57 PM
Response to Reply #41
42. I hope your son enjoys EVERY moment of college life and achieves what he sets out to do.

Cheers to you Seabeyond, and to living well with those we love!


:toast:
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #12
21. I've been surprised
that after reaching my late 20's I got more attention from teenage girls than I ever got in high school. It's not attention I'm looking for at all but it's hard not to notice.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:03 PM
Response to Reply #21
25. they are trying to get affirmation in their sexuality.
that is the inexperience and naivity of this age that we are talking about in the first place. boobs, boobs, they got some boobs. it is all new to them and they are looking for affirmation to their sexuality.
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glowing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 02:32 PM
Response to Reply #12
43. Only if you look like George Clooney.. otherwise, love handles and pot
belly and bald head do not turn on a 20yr old.. not unless you have lots of money.
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Lilith Velkor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 06:58 PM
Response to Reply #43
65. Rich guys...UGH.
I dated one for about a week when I was 18. He was 20, cute, and pretty good in the sack, but insufferably arrogant. Come to think of it, I can count on one hand the number of rich guys I've met that weren't insufferably arrogant, and one finger if you only count the straight ones.

I can't imagine being turned on by a fat, balding middle aged rich guy at that age. I've known young women who pretended to be in order to maintain a coke habit, but that's not the same thing, is it?
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dustbunnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 07:30 PM
Response to Reply #65
67. You dated a young, rich guy.

Poor young guys can be just as arrogant. Even worse if they figure they have art to fling at the world.

Many rich older men, as well as middle class, or poor, are in great shape. Works for the female population too. Baldness btw, is inherited, affects the rich and poor, and often starts in the twenties. :)

Tis always best to look at the individual for who they are.
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Lilith Velkor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #67
79. Did you read the post to which I was responding?
It said that 20 year old women are "turned on" by fat, balding middle aged men if said men are rich. I disputed that. I was not talking about the ones who are in shape.

Now that we are on the same page, poor young guys may be insecure, defensive and belligerent, but not arrogant in the same way rich guys are. YMMV and all that.

It's all well and good to "look at the individual for who they are" (what does that mean, anyway?) but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't look with keener interest if the individual in question had, say, a strong resemblance to Hugh Jackman.
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dustbunnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 11:17 PM
Response to Reply #79
81. The post you responded to was mine, if you look up, way up.
I too would love to make love with hugh jackman. So?

Does it change anything in my life or about my beloved! I sure as frack hope not so, because even though I love him beyond all things and others, sometimes I just like it to be about me. :-)
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Lilith Velkor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-26-09 12:08 AM
Response to Reply #81
82. Okey-diddly-dokey.
I guess I just kind of bristled at the memory of all those skanky fortysomethings trying to get in my drawers when I was a young punk chick getting a totally different kind of freak on.

I don't blame them for trying - I'm a cougar now, so I totally get it.

I'm glad you found a way that works for you. Cheers. :toast:
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WolverineDG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:43 PM
Response to Original message
16. Yeah, well, when I was in highschool, I never had dates
or a boyfriend. Why? The excuse I heard was "I thought you already had a boyfriend." Never mind that I was never SEEN with a boyfriend, never SEEN in the local hangouts with a boyfriend (or at all, since most were couple-oriented), never SEEN at a dance...yada yada...kept hearing the old "when they're ready to settle down, then you'll have a boyfriend."

So now I'm single, never married, what do I hear? "I thought you already had a husband." :eyes:

I give up.

dg
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:08 PM
Response to Reply #16
28.  "I thought you already had a husband."
lmao.....

that is just wrong. cute post....
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anonymous171 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:47 PM
Response to Original message
17. Older males are usually more accomplished, and are therefore more attractive to the younger females.
That is just the way it is. I remember that during my HS years it made me very bitter. But I eventually got used to it.
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Javaman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 12:54 PM
Response to Original message
20. I was the nerd.
Edited on Mon Feb-23-09 12:56 PM by Javaman
I never had a date in high school. no sweethearts, nothing.

Most of the impossible to be had girls were already dating dentists and lawyers.

The one girl I had a crush on, never knew I existed. She was smart and pretty, and I was average and painfully shy. She later went on to big things. At least the very few times I did have to interact with her, she was always really sweet. Me, I was a bumbling fool who would blush at the drop of a hat.

Life goes on.

I'm now with the love of my life. :)
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:06 PM
Response to Reply #20
27. lol lol ooooh, i have the cutest 14 yr old and he is soooo cute when he blushes
and it is so easy for him to blush. yes, it is a curse that shyness. but i tell him, he just doesnt know how many girls are looking at him, wanting him cause they are just as shy as he is.

now there are some in highschool that arent shy at all. and the other kids think that is who they are suppose to be, but doesnt work that way
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Javaman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:34 PM
Response to Reply #27
38. If I could only go back and tell myself that. LOL nt
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LanternWaste Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:12 PM
Response to Original message
30. When I was in HS
When I was in HS, I more often than dated girls who were in the same class as I was. Never had any impression that they wanted someone older-- just someone with a car and a few bucks in their pocket.

And that general observation can be attributed to 90% of the couples I knew in HS. Heck, everybody would give a lot of grief to any of our/their friends who dated "younger" girls (even if only by a year).
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madmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:13 PM
Response to Original message
32. When i was 16 we moved from a big city to a country bumpkin school district.
I was dressing stylish for a big city school (mini skirts) but for the country school tar tish. All the guys wanted to "go out" with me. Then they found out that I didn't "go out" that was the end of that. Oh and yes I was told I was very pretty, nice figure (big boobs) but I was an avid reader. Once they found out there was something besides boobs and ass, they lost interest until around 18-19.
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DFW Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:31 PM
Response to Original message
37. Same here, but fate let me even the score
Exactly four years after I graduated from high school, I met an absolutely fabulous
woman almost exactly my age (3 months younger, to be precise). We hit it off right
away, and we are still together today.

Oh, yeah, one part of the story i should have mentioned: That was THIRTY-FIVE YEARS AGO!!
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 01:38 PM
Response to Reply #37
40. you go dude
happy 35.... i love hearing the good stories.
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DFW Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 02:53 PM
Response to Reply #40
44. Every rule has an exception, right?
We didn't get married right away, but we still count our anniversary from the time we met.
Who cares about the paperwork? That came 8 years later, since we never found the time to
organize the bureaucratic end of it. As it was, we had to wait for my brother to invite
us to our own wedding. Well, actually, it was HIS wedding, and he said as long as we were
going to both be there, we might as well join in, so we did, and made it a double (he and
his wife are still together, too). The thing looked like the UN (my wife is from Germany
and his wife is from Japan).
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 03:01 PM
Response to Reply #44
46. lol lol.... that is the coolest
i remember you. see i do like happy stories. lol

that is great. japan, germany and a shared cermony.
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DFW Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 03:20 PM
Response to Reply #46
51. Washington called it "the Axis wedding"
It wasn't just Japan and Germany, either. We had a guy from Transylvania who still
lives in Brussels (who is still a good friend of ours), a girlfriend from Denmark,
some woman pal of my brother's from Surinam, a violin-playing musical partner of
mine from Holland--it was pretty interesting! We had it in Washington as a sort of
neutral ground.
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DFW Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 06:03 AM
Response to Reply #46
58. This is NOT the best pic from the fateful day!! LOL
But it's the only one I have on the computer:

and now--two of our kids--the most UNLIKELY pair of cousins you'll ever see:
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 09:21 AM
Response to Reply #58
62. ah... the 70"s? bah hahhaha. lol.
i was there too. i loved the 70's

beautiful family, beautiful kids.... thank you.

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DFW Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 05:46 PM
Response to Reply #62
64. Thanks for the kind words!
We met on July 25th, 1974 when I was on summer vacation, playing music
in a cabaret in West Berlin. My brother met his wife in 1980 while stationed
on some secret mission in the Far East, and he was operating out of some
military base in Japan. The wedding didn't happen until 1982 (I told you
we never found time for anything! LOL).
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treestar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 02:54 PM
Response to Original message
45. Where I went to high school, kids pretty much dated other kids
in the high school within one year of their class or in their class.

:shrug:
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 03:02 PM
Response to Reply #45
47. it was the exception for a girl to date outside of school and not well received. n/t
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treestar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 03:51 PM
Response to Reply #47
57. Heck, there were plenty of kids in the school
Plenty enough to pick from!

And parents to disapprove of anyone too old.
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OPERATIONMINDCRIME Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 03:06 PM
Response to Original message
48. 5 Years Is Not Two Or Three Years.
And in reference to the thread you linked, it's not really the girl who had any issues. But the 21 yr old guy had all sorts of issues.
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readmoreoften Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 06:38 AM
Response to Reply #48
60. So you're okay with a 19 year old dating a 16 year old, just not a 21 year old.
The 21 year old, you'd imprison and hound into homelessness upon release. Well that's sensible. :crazy:
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OPERATIONMINDCRIME Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 07:26 AM
Response to Reply #60
61. Stop Making Things Up Please.
I never said anything as to imprisonment. I would be against such a thing.

I merely said he has mental issues. Get a grip.
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RandomKoolzip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 03:12 PM
Response to Original message
50. In high school I was a weird fat kid who only cared about collecting records and masturbating.
Edited on Mon Feb-23-09 03:21 PM by RandomKoolzip
Well, okay, i liked politics, doing acid, and reading books too. But anyways, I knew I was a weirdo, and that no sane girl (may age or any age) would ever touch me, so i concentrated on the stuff I was good at (music, writing, doing drugs) and secretly pined and pined and pined that some girl somewhere would find me interesting enough to go out with. But none ever did, I can hardly blame them.

It wasn't until after high school that I finally kissed a woman. She was unattractive and I was desperate for ANY female contact. I felt awful - she practically had to beg me to kiss her. We dated for a week and I stopped returning her calls.

I fell in love a few times with girls I could never ever touch and through most of my teen years and into my twenties most of what I can remember is unbearable heartbreak all the time. After a while I got used to being rejected and just said "Fuck it" and concentrated, again, on my music and my other interests.

I became bulimic at the age of 21, lost a bit of weight, and for the next couple of years I did lots of drugs, partied like a dick, and had a succession of sexless but passionate) on my part) relationships which lasted an average of two weeks.

I dropped out of school, stopped giving a fuck, and gained even more weight back. It was at this point that I met my (ex)-wife, a woman six years older than me. She had lived a long time, had been around the world, and was looking for someone as pathetic and desperate as herself, and I fit the bill handily. She had a multitude of personal, physical issues, and several pathologies that I couldn't even begin to describe to you. I lost my virginity to this woman, but we stopped having sex after six months. Three months after that, we got married.

For six years, i was in a sexless marriage of convenience to an older woman, to whom I was not physically attracted, who wanted things I couldn't give her.

In 2006, I fell in love with a coworker who was out of my league. I became determined to make it to her league, however, and went on a serious self-improvement scheme: I started working out, dieting, and went back to college. I cleaned myself up, lost 80 pounds in under six months, and got a serious injection of self-esteem. Behind my wife's back, I began courting this younger woman. The woman I was in love with, who was six years my junior, did not fall in love with me, however, and I ended up alienating my wife, who did not share my self-improvement proclivities.

Bot of those women are out my life now. I divorced my wife last summer.

I've kept the weight off and I'm still in school, however. Last year, in fact ON THIS DATE last year, I met a classmate who was beautiful, brilliant, and fascinating. She is 13 years younger than me. She cannot even legally drink alcohol yet. But we fell in love and we're still together. I think we share a common maturity level (as self-deprecating as that sounds). She's very mature for her age, and she's no frivolous tweener-type. She reads Thackeray and Eliot and enjoys them.

In any event, I think these two things are important: a) physical attractiveness is important in finding a mate. I'm sorry, but it just is. I know it's shallow, but there ya go. b) Chronological age is not an exact barometer of a person's maturity or intelligence.

HOWEVER, if the woman I met had been under 18, there's nothing she could have said or done to make me touch her. Society and I both have rules about that shit for a reason.
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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 03:26 PM
Response to Original message
52. IIRC it's because us guys mature physically and mentally later then you gals do.
That's why that story of the 12yo British daddy with the 15yo mom was so odd, it's usually the other way, with a 14yo girl going out with a 18yo guy or something similar.
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GinaMaria Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 03:27 PM
Response to Original message
53. I wouldn't go back for all the money in the world
Edited on Mon Feb-23-09 03:35 PM by GinaMaria
I think it's fair to say most of us (male and female) were insecure and full of self-doubt, afraid of failure and ridicule... luckily this is only a short period in our lives. Who could sustain that amount of emotional paralysis going into their 30's, 40's, 50's and beyond?

Even the kids that seemed to have it all together were still shaky on the inside or they peaked too early and never really went any where as adults. I think the appeal of the Peggy Sue movie, was going back with a forty something attitude that says 'I'm too tired to sweat the small stuff' and respond to situations and people the way you wished you could back then.

When I think about the 2 hours I would spend every morning on my hair... I really want that time back.

It really doesn't matter who or what you were in High School. AV geek, student council nerd, jock, princess, thespian. None of that really truly dictates your adulthood. What matters is who you are now. I'm sure you found your way and I hope you found your happiness.

On edit: My husband was always told by girls, "you're not the guy I date. you're the guy I marry" I have never been so grateful that there are so many stupid people in this world. If one of them had wised up, I would have lost out.
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JackDragna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-23-09 03:34 PM
Response to Original message
54. Pretty much everyone goes after the wrong type of thing, anyway.
Your best bet is stop wasting your time in the rat race of impressing others. I have and I love it. :)
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SmileyRose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 09:23 AM
Response to Original message
63. I was always interested in older guys
probably because my own classmates were evil fucking shitheads.
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notadmblnd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 07:36 PM
Response to Original message
69. I don't know. My son (15) has four girls chasing him
Edited on Wed Feb-25-09 07:37 PM by notadmblnd
Katie the older woman (17), I caught her in his bed with him. When I asked him where his clothes were and how he got to that point? He said... "Mom, I went out to get the mail and when I came back in, she had her pants off." I then asked him, what do you think your father would say if he was still alive? His reply, "that's my boy."

We did have a serious discussion in regards to the responsibility that goes along with having sex, but it was intermixed with humor. Needless to say, Katie isn't allowed here anymore.
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Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 08:41 PM
Response to Original message
78. That's life, kiddo.
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October Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-25-09 09:20 PM
Response to Original message
80. I only went with guys in my grade during high school. My friends did, too.
AFTER high school, I dated and married a guy 4 years older.
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Withywindle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-26-09 12:43 AM
Response to Original message
83. I resemble that remark.
Edited on Thu Feb-26-09 12:44 AM by Withywindle
:blush:

Problem is, my ideal age range for men has always been 25-35. So for a while, way back when, I was jailbait. Now I'm a cougar.

(In my - weak - defense as a teenager, my first question for potential partners was always, 'What authors do you like?' That was how I determined compatibility. If the answer was "none" or "um...I read a Stephen King book once, I think..." it was like BZZZT, NEXT! I'm not so snotty now. But I'm still kind of shallow.)
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