Yay for me! I'm gonna make my first million this year!

[Career Prole]

I got my Social Security Earnings Statement in the mail yesterday and since I couldn't go home this weekend and was bored silly, I added up all those annual earnings they listed there.

Hot diggity damn!

It took over 37 years of punching a timeclock (and three lay-offs) but this year (providing I don't get laid off again, of course)...

I'm going to hit the ONE MILLION DOLLAR mark in lifetime earnings!

C'mon...let's give it up for ol' C. Prole!



Thank you! Thank you so much!

I'd just like to say that my first million wouldn't have been possible without the help of a lot of people, and I'd like to take just a moment to thank...excuse me just a second...what's that you say?

Who the heck is Ken Lewis and why should I care about him on my big night?

Make no mistake about it. Ken Lewis of Bank of America fame is the latest worst CEO in America today. And his smear campaign against John Thain is just that--sour grapes all the way.

The truth is Lewis knew exactly what he was buying from Thain. Yet for some reason Lewis could not help himself when it came to Merrill Lynch. Not only did he add Merrill's dead weight to his own leaky boat, he even managed to do it at a premium.

That makes Lewis something of a glutton for punishment—or at the very least reckless beyond belief.

Of course, it wasn't all that long ago when Lewis was hailed as some sort of genius in the industry for buying Countrywide Financial off of that shyster Angelo Mozilo.

Needless to say, that deal hasn't exactly been one to crow about either.

Unfortunately, for Bank of America's shareholders Lewis's hubris has been as painful as it comes.

So now he is just the latest "smartest guy in the room" to be left twisting in the wind.

Oh, well shit fire and save matches! He can't be rakin' in the dough-re-mi. He's a screw-up!

Beg pardon?

He makes what?

He makes a million roughly every two weeks, you say?

Seriously?

No joke?

Sorry folks. You can all go home now. The party's been canceled.

No, I'll be okay. I'll just need a minute or two alone...

[dana_b]

1. point well made!

you spend your life working your heart out and probably doing a helluva job for 37 years. This guy is screwing up big time and gets your life earnings in TWO WEEKS!

kudos to you!

[Career Prole]

9. Thanks, Dana B! He probably never gets

voted "Employee of the Month", though.


What?

They named him "Banker of the Year" in 2008!?

[roody]

2. k & r

[dixiegrrrrl]

3. Beautiful....

you pegged the sinking in the stomach feeling with rising outrage perfectly.

Rec a million times, if I could.

[Career Prole]

10. Thanks a lot.

That was the nicest rec I've ever gotten. Worth a million of 'em!

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

4. Congratulations you should be proud.

[Career Prole]

17. Oh, I am...don't get me wrong.

I've got a lot of "sweat equity" in that million. I just wish the baker bonus babies had to put in some sweat equity now that they've hosed up the country. Not on the rockpile or anything...I'm not that vindictive...but at least make 'em drive their own cars or fly coach.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

19. I understand your sentiment. Personally ....

I'd rather make an honest buck and be able to hold my chin up than make $1,000,000 dishonest ones and have to hang my head in shame. Sounds like you are cut from a similair cloth.

David

[Doremus]

5. Quite a contrast, eh?

Your post illustrates it quite poignantly. Good job, on both counts.

[Career Prole]

11. Thank you.

Now that I know it'll take me 37,000 years to make my first billion I can at last devote my attention to something more pragmatic.

[unblock]

6. you know, if i HAD a million dollars for every time i've EARNED a million dollars....

[Career Prole]

12. I hear you.

I'm so tempted to piss away this last 400 bucks and just start over!

[progressoid]

7. I'm right on track to make my first million...

by 2086.

[Career Prole]

24. Even after 8 years of bush?

You hang right in there...things are looking up. I figure 2080, latest.

[bertman]

8. Now, if you were as SMART as Ken Lewis or John Thain, you . . .

[KharmaTrain]

13. A Million Just Doesn't Buy What It Used To...

Congrats...I know many slave monkeys who never got that close in earnings. But then I recall reading a statistic that said each child will cost about $1 million in their first 18 years. That includes hidden expenses like property taxes for schools and basics like food and clothes.

But according to the "rich", having or earning one million means squat. I was told you haven't really made it now until you have $10 million. And my bets are if you get to $10 million, then it's $25 million and so on. Some of the most insecure and goofy people I've encountered have had the most money. Their obsessions remove the humanity out of many of them and was only fueled by the past 30 years of a "greed is good" society.

[Career Prole]

14. "each child will cost about $1 million"

Oh hell...I'm 2 million in the red!

[KharmaTrain]

15. Nice While It Lasted...Eh?

Easy come, easy go they say.

Also I'm told, love is grand...divorce $100 Grand.

The schadenfraude will be seeing a Thune or any of these other robber barons getting their asses sued by angry stockholders and spending much of their ill gotten fortune on lawyers for the rest of their wretched lives.

Cheers...

[Career Prole]

16. Someone gave me a heart!

That's worth a million bucks any day! Thank you, kind stranger!

[Blue Diadem]

18. Happy to K&R this.

Great post Career Prole.

[Career Prole]

21. Thanks, Blue Diadem.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess Ken Lewis gets a paid lunch.

Meanwhile, I'm typing with one hand with a tunafish samwich in the other because in 10 more minutes I'm back on the clock...but they don't pay for this half-hour so they can't have it!

[swishyfeet]

20. Brilliant!

[Career Prole]

22. Thanks, man.

[TBF]

23. Nicely done & the image is cool! n/t

[Career Prole]

25. Thanks, but half the stuff in my photobucket account

I've picked up right here over the years...including that one!

[hfojvt]

26. For what it's worth, I am looking way up at you too.

Although I figure your average to be only $27,027 over the 37 years. My own total is only about $270,000 for the last 23 years. For many of those years I had no benefits like paid holidays, paid vacations, paid sick leave or pension benefits. My total for 37 years would be less than half of yours. So you seem to be doing fairly well. I myself am doing okay.

Also, I am not sure how we know that Lewis "knew exactly what he was getting from Thain."

[Career Prole]

29. You'll be okay. Just hang in there.

I hope you're not resentful of me. The ones to be resentful of are the guys like buddy Ken Lewis. I didn't write the quoted article about Lewis but I think it's a safe assumption that if Lewis is worth 24 million a year (and after all he was named "Banker of the Year" in 2008) then he did his due diligence before buying Merrill-Lynch.

Thain might have been able to pull a fast one on me but then again it'll take me 888 years to make 24 million. I'd say it's safe to say then that Lewis knew what he was buying.

You know, I actually made over $50k last year for the first time in my life...but to pull that off I had to move to a city four hours from where my wife and kids live. I visit them every other weekend. We were all going to live here after the first year but then guys like Lewis shotgunned the economy so here I sit, looking forward to seeing my family this weekend. "Doing fairly well" ain't all it's cracked up to be.

[Jackpine Radical]

27. You know what they say--the first million is the hardest.

That's why I decided to skip it and just begin work on my second million right away.

[Career Prole]

28. Great plan!

The second is the sweetest!

[Bozita]

30. Just wishing I could recommend this post again.

[OwnedByFerrets]

31. One of the BEST posts ever. TY