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*"Prayers for Bobby" to be repeated at 11:00 EST tonight*

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checks-n-balances Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 09:19 PM
Original message
*"Prayers for Bobby" to be repeated at 11:00 EST tonight*
I'm watching it now on Lifetime and it's heartbreaking so far.

More info on the movie here at DU and on IMDB (9 out of 10 stars).

Also, an interesting article...
A straight actor's gay education: Scott Bailey on his "Prayers for Bobby" experience
http://www.afterelton.com/blog/brianjuergens/straight-a...
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 09:22 PM
Response to Original message
1. the funeral scene broke my heart
and now the diary reading, it brings back so many feelings I had growing up, I hated myself so much.
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checks-n-balances Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 09:43 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Wow - just watching this movie must be quite an experience
for you. Thank God the self-hatred didn't win out in your life and you're still here. :hug: So tragic that similar versions of this story has been played out in so many other lives.

This is such an important movie.

As one who grew up in the church and also studied theology, I love this movie handles the way the pastor of the MCC church presents a different way of interpreting scripture to the mother.
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 09:47 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. It has been a non stop cryfest
I am lucky in that my parents weren't like his but I was as convinced I was hellbound as Bobby was. I go to an MCC church now so I have a different biblical view most of the time but admittedly every once in a while I wonder if my former pastors were right.
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checks-n-balances Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:09 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. Maybe when your former pastors were talking about hell
they were unwittingly talking about being in a hell on earth? I'm not trying to make a joke. There are so many grace-less literal "interpreters" of the Bible who are erroneous on a myriad of subjects, not just homosexuality.

Anyway, I'm watching it again. I do hope this movie has opened some eyes and helped some families and individuals out there.

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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:12 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. I DVRd it but am likely hitting the sack
Edited on Sat Jan-24-09 10:14 PM by dsc
I just can't watch it again right now. Too much for me. I know what you mean about the Hell on earth part. Honestly there was nothing anyone could say to me that was worse than what I would say to myself. I really tried to be 'good' but the more I tried the harder it was. I can only imagine how horrible Mary feels though.
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Marrah_G Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:13 PM
Response to Reply #1
15. I'm so sorry
You never should have been made to hate yourself.
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:17 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. I went to a wickedly conservative church
where it was bible this, damnation that, etc. Part of me searched out the rules figuring I could just abide by them but it was apparent that I couldn't so it led to me just internalizing all of the bad thoughts.
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 09:24 PM
Response to Original message
2. We are watching it now as well...
I hope they put this on DVD.

This is incredibly sad.
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checks-n-balances Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 09:35 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. After you finish the movie, read this about DVD possibilities
From the message board about this movie:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1073510/board/nest/12806997...
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marmar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 09:44 PM
Response to Original message
5. I turned it off after the overpass scene......it was too depressing.
I'll try again at 11.


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checks-n-balances Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. I think you'll find it worthwhile trying it again
The ending is actually bittersweet because, although a tragedy, it has elements of hope. The one who ended up changing was the mother who so tried to make her son change.

It's a true story.

On meeting the real-life mother:

Weaver visited Mary Griffith, who she portrays in the film, and admits it was a very emotional day.

She adds, "You feel Bobby's presence in their house."

And the actress is impressed with the woman her character has become in real life.

She explains, "They (family) thought that they were doing the right thing - they felt they were saving him and his soul.

"She (Griffith) goes from thinking Bobby's death is God's will to feeling responsible, and finally talking to parents so they won't lose their gay children to this kind of terrible ignorance."

More at
http://www.imdb.com/news/ni0649592 /
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blue_onyx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 09:47 PM
Response to Original message
6. It's a very good movie but hard to watch.
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. No kidding
I am a big ole crybaby at films anyhow but this was brutal.
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DIKB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:07 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. Same.
I was runny-nosed-husky-voiced telling my mom to DVR the 11pm showing. I am so glad our family handled my brother's coming out so much better, but my heart breaks for those who have to deal with families that don't accept them, or try to fix them.
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:10 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. I deal with kids whose parents try to fix them
and it breaks my heart to be honest. If they only knew how much we wanted to fix ourselves but just couldn't. In any case, glad your family was sensible.
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blue_onyx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:20 PM
Response to Reply #9
18. I'm not a crybaby when it comes to movies
I actually have an aunt who cries at everything, even the cheesiest of movies, and I usually tease her about it. So if I'm tearing up, then it's really a tearjerker.
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Marrah_G Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:11 PM
Response to Original message
13. I watched the first run- cried my eyes out
I hope more people watch it and learn a few things.
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Bryn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:19 PM
Response to Original message
17. What a powerful movie and powerful message, too
Very touching. Very sad because of "good book" interpretation so gay people suffer from this. Even that lady shrink was cruel to Bobby.
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SharonRB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:25 PM
Response to Original message
19. Just finished watching it.
Parts of it were filmed in Royal Oak, MI, which is five minutes from my house. It was fun picking out places I recognized -- mostly the parade at the end, but a few earlier shots as well.
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blue_onyx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:37 PM
Response to Reply #19
21. Oh really?!? I didn't know parts were filmed here
I'm glad Michigan got to be included in this movie. Another Lifetime movie, America, which was advertised during "Prayers for Bobby" was filmed here too. I look forward to that movie too.
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SharonRB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-25-09 11:09 AM
Response to Reply #21
28. I didn't know that one was filmed here, too
Do you know where?

Someone I know said parts of Prayers for Bobby was filmed at her brother-in-law's house. I know parts were in downtown Royal Oak. I also saw somewhere that parts were at Ferndale High School.
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blue_onyx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-25-09 11:31 AM
Response to Reply #28
29. I think mainly in Detroit
I'm a Rosie O'Donnell fan and visit her website sometimes. This is how I found out it was filmed here. It was filmed around October of last year. If you see the commercial again, watch for the Motor City Casino building in the background of one scene (you'll only see it for a second).

The main actor was discovered in a restaurant in downtown Detroit. Rosie was having lunch, saw him, and asked him audition. I guess he nailed the audition.

It's fun to try and pinpoint places you recognize. I know Kim Cattrall shot part of a movie in Westland/Livonia, the area I'm from, and it will be fun to see that movie. Plus, it brings in money Michigan/Detroit desperately needs. My dream job would be in the entertainment industry but since I want to live here, I kind of have to make some trade offs. But, with the potential of 3 permanent film studios, maybe I'll get to have the job I want and live where I want.
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SharonRB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-25-09 11:54 AM
Response to Reply #29
30. Now that you mention it...
I remember that story about how Rosie discovered him. I like her a lot, too.

It's definitely fun trying to pinpoint places you know. I really want to see Gran Torino, although I know I won't recognize much, if anything.

That bill for tax incentives for the film industry has been great and will only get better. More and more movies will be shot here as time goes on, especially once they get those three studios up and running.

I wish my husband, who's been out of work for six years, would check out one of the training classes they're going to be having for the film industry, but he poo poos it.
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blue_onyx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-25-09 12:56 PM
Response to Reply #30
33. Out of work for six years?
Boy, that's quite a while. I just wonder what types of jobs the studios will have available? I have a college degree so I hope there will be jobs that my marketing degree would be useful toward. I think a lot of the jobs will be camera-people, set construction, etc (not exactly up my alley). I've thought about maybe taking one of the film classes...it would at least be interesting.

I'm curious about the locations for the studios (I heard about the Allen Park one). I heard one will be in Detroit. I also heard that 2 studios would be built on previously used properties. There were rumors of Warner Brothers looking at the Ford Wixom plant and the Sliverdome. It should be exciting when the announcements are made. The film studios, plus the Volt battery and A123 Systems announcements, are giving me hope for Michigan's future.
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creeksneakers2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 10:35 PM
Response to Original message
20. Its a great movie
I went through lots of strong emotions watching it. It dramatized what too often occurs in our society because of ignorance and bigotry. Bigotry ends up hurting the bigot himself too in the end. I'm not gay but I'm very saddened to hear about what is is like to grow up gay. I saw things like that before but didn't stop to think about them for long.

I'd heard about those passages in the Bible but never read them. I didn't know how out of context the verses were until I saw this movie. I did read Sodom and Gomorrah and I didn't see anything even about homosexuality. It was about a crowd wanting to have sex with angels. All this Bible stuff is just an example of people twisting what it says to suit their own shortcomings.
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Libertyfirst Donating Member (583 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 11:23 PM
Response to Original message
22. Guess I was the only one disappointed in the movie. It was a very sad story.
It could have been a very powerful movie, but the poor acting, disconnected and hap hazarded story line, the absurd funeral (don't try to tell me that actually took place), the silly scene in the car (all he had to say was he didn't have a condom) and there was never a spark of passion from Bobby. His character had one dimension: gay. And, of course, we know that because of the gay bars. It wouldn't have been "correct" to show gays in any other place. Being gay is one characteristic, not an identity. There nothing else about him as person in the whole movie. His brother's character was better developed than Bobby's.

I know the story is real and it is powerful. The movie not so much.
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ComtesseDeSpair Donating Member (529 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-25-09 01:01 AM
Response to Reply #22
24. What was absurd about the funeral?
When my friend Don died of AIDS in the late 90's, his funeral was almost exactly the same as the one depicted in the film. His conservative Christian family sat up in front and all of us evil queers sat in the back, and we had to listen to a preacher tell us how Don had sinned and had made poor choices in his life. We were FURIOUS. The funeral brought the memories back to me.
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Scooter24 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-25-09 02:17 AM
Response to Reply #22
25. The movie's biggest faults were in its writing and directing
and most critics have came out and said this. Most reviews have praised Weaver and Kelley for their acting in their roles as mother and son.

Also, the real Bobby kept an extensive and very detailed diary that chronicled a lot of these events. It's quite possibly that these events really played out as they were in the movie.

The biggest fault IMHO is in the writing in that it leaves the characters underdeveloped, however the movie's story still kept true to the book and to the real story of Bobby Griffith. It won't win any Oscars, but I think the story was well told in this medium.
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-25-09 06:58 AM
Response to Reply #22
27. unless the author is a liar it did
the book by the same name describes the funeral scene in great detail and it was exactly as filmed.
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checks-n-balances Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-24-09 11:52 PM
Response to Original message
23. Just found out it'll re-air tomorrow (Sunday) night at 8pm EST
I'll try to start a thread on it earlier tomorrow. I'm watching it again because it has really touched me.

Here's the movie's webpage at Lifetime channel:
http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/movies/prayers-bobby
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Raine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-25-09 02:24 AM
Response to Original message
26. It was a very touching film
I cried to see what people have to go thru just to be themselves.
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bluestateguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-25-09 11:56 AM
Response to Original message
31. I have a friend who was disowned by his family for being gay
He was thrown out of the house at 19, knocked around for a few years at odd jobs in NYC, and was very close to homelessness. His parents then said that they would be happy to help him out if he attended "reparative" therapy. He refused, and has since not spoken to them in more than 3 years.

He didn't care about getting married or being in the military. All he asked for was acceptance and love from his family.
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dsc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-25-09 01:41 PM
Response to Reply #31
34. that is so sad
I hope he has found a new family for himself as he deserves it.
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Starry Messenger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-25-09 12:05 PM
Response to Original message
32. I watched it last night.
It's a good movie. It's hard to watch. I just wanted to hug Bobby. That essay by Scott Bailey is really wonderful, too. Thank you for finding that and posting it. It could do with an OP of its own. :)
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