The Rude Pundit: They're Losing Their Fucking Minds, Part 1

[meegbear]

So Barack Obama, openly pro-choice, openly pro-gay rights (not totally, but let's take it for now), and openly tossing the Bush administration onto the shitpile and setting it on fire, warming himself from the flames, has been in office nearly four days. And the right has lost its fucking mind. They don't know what to do. It's kind of hysterically pathetic, like watching a man driving a car that's grinding gears and squealing brakes and he turns up the radio so he can't hear the noise. Dude, the car's fucked.

For instance, the Family Research Council's Super-Duper Prayer Team has been called upon to pray so hard, with our eyes and assholes clenched tight, that Obama and Congress magically transform into something else, like they're just frogs that need a princess's soft lips to become princes of the Lord. The Rude Pundit joined the SDPT under a nom de rude and he receives weekly prayerilingus orders from the FRC's National Prayer Director, a title that is a little like "Chief Klingon Speaker." We've been ordered to bend over and give it up for God to stop Obama's policies on abortion: "May God miraculously change our new President's heart to abandon his abortion plans! May He give pro-life Congressmen supernatural will and effective political strategies to withstand and defeat these death-dealing plans!" And if God doesn't change Obama's heart, does that mean we should just chill? That our prayers are annoying the fuck out of him? Since you can make up any shit you like and say that God believes it, the Rude Pundit will answer his questions with a knowing nod.

Demonstrating the churchward drift of what was once called "mainstream conservatism," Kathryn Jean Lopez over at the National Review Online's blog gives a high-five to the desires of the SDPT, when, at the March for Life, she observes, "It’s a beautiful thing to see how many of this crowd — and so many pro-life religious folks I’ve encountered – are praying for Barack Obama. They love their country and want better for it than legal abortion. They know the power of prayer, and if anything could make him reconsider abortion..."

This is how bugfuck they're becoming (let's not even get into what's going on at the other nutzoid conservative blogs). All they have left is to pray to an invisible sky wizard to intercede on their behalf, that some godly hoodoo, some Jesus-y magic, will make it all better for them. And when you realize that most people in the country have told you and your party to shove it up your asses, all you can do is sit on your knees.

(Side note: One of the things the Rude Pundit's been loving about these first few days of the Obama presidency is how the President is saying, "Fuck you" to everyone who talked about how hard it would be to do the things that he's doing, how, if he saw what the Bush people saw, he'd change his mind. Nope. Full speed ahead.)

http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/

[ChairmanAgnostic]

1. I love the smell of bacon in the morning. What? that's brains? yummy.

[tomreedtoon]

2. Cute, but these guys ran the country a week ago.

It's really easy to make fun of the conservatives out there. But they were in this position before, and they managed to get control of the country again. For them, to "pray to an invisible sky wizard" is more than just a religious ritual; it's a way to bind their followers together and get them prepared to take over again.

This is why I said it was stupid to go nuts and celebrate the inauguration. There are still mind control enemies out there, and they won't stop until Obama and everyone here is crushed.

[YOY]

5. Awesome new Avatar TRT.

Love Dr. Girlfriend and Brock.

[tomreedtoon]

12. Thanks. The point is, it's Brock VS. Dr. Girlfriend.

He's holding the knife at HER throat. It's hardly the kind of cute, cheery cartoon character most people go for here. And that's the point.

[Subdivisions]

3. I'm getting really close to making fun of Jesus-y people, rather

than showing tolerance as I previous have done.

[liberalhistorian]

15. Don't paint them all with the same brush, please.

I'm a Christian, albeit a liberal one, and I'm nothing like the RW fundies. And neither are a lot of others I know. Hopefully, the influence of the fundies will be waning and those of us who disagree with them will not have to constantly hear about how we're not "real" Christians or "real" Americans.

[AndyA]

4. Unfortunately, I know how the right feels.

I felt the same way in January 2001, and I didn't even know the worst of it yet.

Probably still don't. It will be a long 8 years for them, and I doubt most will see another Republican President in office for a very long time. Once all the dirt about the Bush Administration comes out, the GOP doesn't stand a chance.

[rvablue]

9. Yeah, we felt the same way, but the difference is what Bush

did ruined both our and their lives. Although they will not concede to that. And he also failed to illegalize abortion; the one thing these wingers really wanted.

And now, even though they will not concede it, what Obama does is geared towards benefitting our lives and THEIR lives. And he will most likely accomplish.

What I'm saying is our trauma was rational. There's is deluded.

[Missy Vixen]

17. Actually, we know their rude little secret, don't we?

Abortion will never be illegal in the United States. The right wing wants to make it as difficult as possible to obtain one. After all, they have to have SOMEONE working in the "service economy" or acting as cannon fodder in their wars, don't they? The wealthy will always be able to obtain a pregnancy termination. The GOP depends on the poor to give up and have the children they so despise.

Why will abortion never be illegal? THE MONEY. The GOP would immediately lose a huge fundraising tool for them, wouldn't they? Gotta' keep those dollars coming in.

The Democrats play the same game in other areas; it's just not as open.

Julie

[alarimer]

14. We were justified in feeling that way, at least in hindsight.

I never wished Bush well. Never. Not one time did I hope he would succeed. Maybe I am as bad as the right-wingers. But I always felt Bush was a bad guy. And I know now that I was right. In fact he succeeded (according to him anyway) far beyond his expectations and my fears. And look where we are now.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

6. Rude One, O! Rude One!!

Marry Me!!!

:loveya:

[badgerpup]

7. WARNING: Don't click the linky "..other nutzoid blogs"

You'll get a spam bomb or something like it...something proliferated faster than I could shut it down...
had to hit 'reset' on my computer to make it stop. :nuke:

:grr:


:kick:

P.S. I :loveya: The Rude Pundit...:applause:

[truedelphi]

8. But they have the Big Black Book to support them on all this

I mean right there in Leviticus it saith: "Thou shalt pray that a change of heart cometh onto the High Priest known as Obama."

It's all documented and the great sky wizard seeketh your repentance!

[NeedleCast]

10. Isn't Prayer basically telling God that his plan is wrong?

I've always wondered about that. Most of these Fundies believe that "Gods plan will be done" and that there's no stopping the will of God. So...doesn't that mean when they pray for something they're telling God "Hey, you're doing it wrong!"

[jmondine]

11. Maybe they think that God is easily distracted and not paying attention

Perhaps God just has ADD. After all, The Bible does have God confessing to emotional insecurity in the form of jealousy. Hey, nobody's perfect.
He just needs some divine psychotherapy and ritalin.

[badgerpup]

16. You've noticed that too?

There seems to be a deep, fundamental (no pun intended) confusion and misunderstanding regarding the phrase "THY will be done."

It either gets translated as "Thy will be done (but only if it concurs with what I think should be happening.
Otherwise I'm gonna claim that what's happening isn't really what God's will and I'll fuss, kick, cry, hold my breath until I turn blue, and otherwise do everything possible to circumvent it until I get MY way and God's will is really done)":eyes:

...or you get the more arrogant, in-your-face, sure-of-themselves folk, who (having washed their brains and so can't do a thing with them), as Nance Greggs:patriot: has so aptly put it, want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity- just come right out and say
"MY will be done. It's the same thing. Of course I speak for God. If I didn't, he'd smite me, right? RIGHT?"

[Zhade]

13. "the power of prayer"... has been scientifically debunked as nonexistent.

Sorry guys, you're deluding yourselves.

And I'm LOVING it.