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It's back: The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2008

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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 10:22 AM
Original message
It's back: The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2008
Edited on Mon Jan-12-09 10:23 AM by faygokid
Guaranteed to offend one and all. A sample:

13. Joe Lieberman

Charges: A fickle, flabbery fiend reviled by both parties, Lieberman somehow finds himself more powerful than ever, failing forward by virtue of the Democrats’ unfalteringly chumpish lack of discipline. After promising that he was “not going to go to…the Republican convention, and spend my time attacking Barack Obama,” Lieberman went to the Republican convention and attacked Barack Obama. But that was just the beginning of his descent into a self-dug hole of betrayal that should have proved inescapable. Lieberman thought it was “a good question” to ask if Obama was a Marxist. He campaigned not just with McCain, but with Palin and down-ticket Republicans, another thing he said he wouldn’t do. But the most loathsome trait Lieberman exhibits is that most loathsome of all: Smearing dissent as treasonous. The kind of suppressive asshole who would accuse you of helping terrorists by beating him at checkers should not be Chairman of the Committee on Homeland Security, and is not someone worth rewarding for his own dissent.

Exhibit A: “In matters of war, we undermine presidential credibility at our nation's peril.” “Sen. Obama doesn't come to this debate with a lot of credibility.”

Sentence: Lieberman awakes to find himself in the body of an impoverished Iraqi living in a small apartment with 12 family members and no electricity. Shocked by this inexplicable turn of events, he stumbles outside and cries to God, looking up just in time for the white phosphorous to hit him in the face. http://www.buffalobeast.com/134/50mostloathsome2008.html



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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 10:42 AM
Response to Original message
1. Being as this got more than 100 recommendations last year, I kick it for your consideration.
20. Joe the Plumber

Charges: The Che Guevara of bald, pissed off white men. In a lot of ways, Samuel Wurzelbacher really does represent the average American—basing economic opinions on unrealistic expectations of personal future success, blaming his failure to meet those expectations on minorities and old people, complaining about deadbeats getting his taxes when he isn’t actually paying his taxes, and advertising his own rudimentary historical and mathematical ignorance by warning of creeping socialism in a country whose highest income tax rate has dropped by half in thirty years. “Joe” indeed symbolizes the true American dream—to become undeservedly rich and famous through a dizzyingly improbable stroke of luck. As American folk heroes go, Wurzelbacher ranks somewhere between Hulk Hogan and Bernie Goetz.

Exhibit A: "Social Security is a joke...social security I've never believed in, don't like it. I hate that it's forced on me."

Sentence: After blowing his fifteen minutes and all his money on coke and Thai hookers, an infirm, elderly Joe finds that social security actually is a joke, and is finally forced to snake toilets for a living.

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marimour Donating Member (696 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 10:53 AM
Response to Original message
2. 45. Nancy Pfotenhauer
Edited on Mon Jan-12-09 11:34 AM by marimour
45. Nancy Pfotenhauer

Charges: A face so hewn can't be found in American politics outside of the Black Hills—or possibly the Speaker's office. The envy of any giraffe prostitute, her Coulterish neck suggests a correlation between head-shoulder distance and affinity for dissembling fascism. Past crimes include acting as head lobbyist for Koch Industries, which faced 97 indictments and four criminal charges to individuals for dumping benzene, until Koch donated $800,000 to Bush and other Republicans in 2000, and all the charges magically disappeared. As advisor and spokes-liar for the McCain campaign, Nancy touted offshore drilling as the desperate, calculated and completely ineffective solution to America's energy woes. She minimized the environmental impact, claiming “We withstood Hurricanes Rita and Katrina and didn’t spill a drop” of oil. There were, in fact, almost 600 spills. Other Pftotenhauer falsifications included pretty much everything else that passed her collagen-bloated lips.

Exhibit A: "But the rest of the state, 'real Virginia,' if you will..." We won’t.

Sentence: Projectile vomits crude oil whenever she attempts to speak.

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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 11:02 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. 8. David Addington
8. David Addington

Charges: In a nation fat with lawyers, it takes something special to be the worst of them all. If a White House legal argument is evil, unconstitutional and makes no actual sense, it’s a safe bet Grand Moff Addington is behind it. An expert in spook law since his early-‘80s stint as counselor to the CIA, Addington first hooked up with Cheney during the Iran-Contra hearings, even then pushing the “Unitary Executive” theory of unfettered presidential power and attempting to shoehorn dictatorship into the constitution. Addington thinks the president is above the law in times of war, which is awful convenient if you declare an endless war on a global battlefield. It’s this flimsy pretext on which the White House has evaded accountability for torture, domestic spying, and secret detention, proving that the best legal tools in DC are a straight face and a huge pair of balls.

Exhibit A: “I frankly don't know what you mean by the Unitary Theory of Government.”

Sentence: Declared an enemy combatant for farting in oval office; waterboarded with a fire hose by John Yoo
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kdpeters Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 11:21 AM
Response to Reply #2
9. That picture of her is hilarious. n/t
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valerief Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 10:57 PM
Response to Reply #9
59. Yeah, but the neck is still too short! nt
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AzDar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 11:09 AM
Response to Original message
4. K & R
:kick:
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WeDidIt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 11:12 AM
Response to Original message
5. They sure as hell got the top ten right!
Excellent list. Excellent reading. Kicked and recommended.
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ovidsen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 11:13 AM
Response to Original message
6. What a great link!
Edited on Mon Jan-12-09 11:17 AM by ovidsen
Almost NOBODY is spared. My favorite? Number 43. Note, it took several attempts for me to get to the link you posted, aygokid. Something about a server that was "busy" or "down for maintenance". Snicker.

43. You

Charges: You think it’s your patriotic duty to spend money you don’t have on crap you don’t need. You think Hillary lost because of sexism, when it’s actually because she’s just a bad liar. You think Iraq is better off now than before we invaded, and don’t understand why they’re so ungrateful. You think Tim Russert was a great journalist. You’re hopping mad about an auto industry bailout that cost a squirt of piss compared to a Wall Street heist of galactic dimensions, due to a housing crash you somehow have blamed on minorities. It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. You deem it hunky dory that we conduct national policy debates via 8-second clips from “The View.” You think God zapped humans into existence a few thousand years ago, although your appendix and wisdom teeth disagree. You like watching vicious assholes insult each other on TV. You support gun rights, because firing one gives you a chubby. You cuddle falsehoods and resent enlightenment. You think the fact that 43% of whites could stomach voting for an incredibly charismatic and eloquent light-skinned black guy who was raised by white people means racism is over. You think progressive taxation is socialism. 1 in 100 of you are in jail, and you think it should be more. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American.

Exhibit A: You’re more upset by Miley Cyrus’s glamour shots than the fact that you are a grown adult who is upset about Miley Cyrus.

Sentence: Invaded and occupied by Canada; all military units busy overseas without enough fuel to get back.


Priceless. Absolutely priceless.

(edited to correct stupid typo)
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SammyWinstonJack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 12:11 PM
Response to Reply #6
14. LOL!
It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. :evilgrin:
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John Q. Citizen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 04:11 PM
Response to Reply #6
31. Exhibit A is to funny.
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varelse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 07:51 PM
Response to Reply #6
48. Who is Miley Cyrus?
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Pacifist Patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 09:52 AM
Response to Reply #48
63. I am embarrassed that I know the answer, but I think that is the girl who plays Hannah Montana.
I have exposure to a number of pre-pubescent girls so hopefully that will mitigate the shame of possessing such knowledge.
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blogslut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 11:14 AM
Response to Original message
7. Oh my.
43. You

Charges: You think it’s your patriotic duty to spend money you don’t have on crap you don’t need. You think Hillary lost because of sexism, when it’s actually because she’s just a bad liar. You think Iraq is better off now than before we invaded, and don’t understand why they’re so ungrateful. You think Tim Russert was a great journalist. You’re hopping mad about an auto industry bailout that cost a squirt of piss compared to a Wall Street heist of galactic dimensions, due to a housing crash you somehow have blamed on minorities. It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. You deem it hunky dory that we conduct national policy debates via 8-second clips from “The View.” You think God zapped humans into existence a few thousand years ago, although your appendix and wisdom teeth disagree. You like watching vicious assholes insult each other on TV. You support gun rights, because firing one gives you a chubby. You cuddle falsehoods and resent enlightenment. You think the fact that 43% of whites could stomach voting for an incredibly charismatic and eloquent light-skinned black guy who was raised by white people means racism is over. You think progressive taxation is socialism. 1 in 100 of you are in jail, and you think it should be more. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American.

Exhibit A: You’re more upset by Miley Cyrus’s glamour shots than the fact that you are a grown adult who is upset about Miley Cyrus.

Sentence: Invaded and occupied by Canada; all military units busy overseas without enough fuel to get back.
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fishwax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 12:12 PM
Response to Reply #7
15. that's the lowest "you" has been in a while
If you look at previous years, "you" usually makes the top 20 or top 10 :)
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NV Whino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 11:17 AM
Response to Original message
8. Excellent!
No one is spared.
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blogslut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 11:22 AM
Response to Original message
10. I think we broke it
I'll say it again. Oh my.
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bullwinkle428 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 11:29 AM
Response to Original message
11. Avoid this article at all costs if you're easily offended - as for me,
I found it fucking hilarious!!! :rofl:
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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 12:01 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. Me, too. It was a big hit here on DU last year; I hope it gets noticed this year, too.
30. Antonin Scalia

Charges: The bullet-shaped conservative justice should have stuck to his old policy of not allowing anyone to record him, because the more we see of him, the worse he seems. Scalia drew back the curtain on his legendary mind last April on "60 Minutes," revealing the legal acumen of a gibbon with a Magic 8-ball. Asked about the legal atrocity of Bush v. Gore, Nino bravely replied, "Gee, I really don't want to get into, I mean this is—get over it, it's so old by now." This about a 2000 decision, perhaps the least legally defensible in recent history, which has had and will continue to have an incalculable impact on this country and the world. Scalia has sebaceous cysts older than Bush v. Gore. But it was Scalia's asinine, compartmentalized semantic parsing on torture that we hoped would give pause to his lionizers. Arguing that torture isn't "cruel and unusual punishment" because the subject hasn't been convicted of a crime, so he can't be "punished," the so-called Constitutional Originalist puts the framers in the awkward position of saying that it's wrong to beat up a convicted criminal, but it's just dandy to kick the shit out of him before he is even charged.

Exhibit A: “Mere factual innocence is no reason not to carry out a death sentence properly reached.”

Sentence: Broken on the wheel by James Madison.
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bullwinkle428 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 01:41 PM
Response to Reply #13
21. "gibbon with a Magic 8-ball"...
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 11:30 AM
Response to Original message
12. 47. Michelle Bachmann
47. Michelle Bachmann

Charges: Exemplifies the simmering, all-American fascism lurking behind the forced smiles of uptight church ladies throughout “real America.” Echoing Sarah Palin’s alarming hints about “helping” the media do its job, Bachmann’s casual call for a “penetrating” press investigation into “anti-Americanism” in congress was so fucking dumb it made Chris Matthews seem smart. Once it occurred to the Oral Roberts University graduate that calling for witchhunts against Democrats might be a tad extreme for election season, she decided to just pretend she didn’t say it, and then she blamed Chris Matthews. Then she just blamed words. Then she denied it again. Then she won. Way to go, Minnesota’s 6th.

Exhibit A: BACHMANN: Actually, that's not what I said at all. COLMES: Well, I'm just — I'm reading your exact quote. BACHMANN: Actually that's not I said. It's an urban legend that was created. That isn't what I said at all. COLMES: We have — it's on tape.

Sentence: Assigned to conduct her own “expose” on anti-American views, in Taliban-controlled Afghanistan.
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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 12:33 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. 27. Peggy Noonan
27. Peggy Noonan

Charges: A Catholic hysteric who should be submitting poems about her kitty cats to online poetry-contest scams, Noonan’s call for “Patriotic Grace,” which is nothing more than a call for liberals to stop picking on Republicans for being wrong all the time, comes a little late, after actively helping the most despicable, character assassination-driven campaigns of her lifetime. Like her fellow elite conservative columnist David Brooks, Noonan feigned admiration for Sarah Palin until she got caught expressing her true opinion during an MSNBC commercial break, saying "it's over," and that McCain opted for “political bullshit about narratives.” Horrified at having her actual thoughts revealed and not the “graceful” bullshit she feeds her readers, Noonan scrambled to spin the extemporization, but eventually admitted Palin’s selection represented a “vulgarization” of politics, as if that was something new. She loved Bush when America did, and hated him when America did, and pretended she’d felt that way all along. An opinion columnist is supposed to express her opinion, not ours. Noonan is still writing speeches, but her vanity is her only client.

Exhibit A: “Intellectuals start all the trouble in the world.”

Sentence: Chained like Prometheus to a rock, to undergo a cycle of pregnancies and abortions for eternity.
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 12:53 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. 34. Joe Scarborough
34. Joe Scarborough

Charges: An incredulous, squinting brat, who's turned "Morning Joe" into the "My Super Sweet Sixteen" of cable news, Scarborough has a decent shot at being named the world's largest toddler by Guinness. He treats his MSNBC coworkers with less professional courtesy than the dead intern found in his congressional office ("Mika, don't make me backhand you").Between tantrums, Scarborough provided a litany of partisan misinformation and deliberate misquotations this year, claiming that Obama was the most liberal member of the Senate and would raise taxes on everyone, that McCain called for Rumsfeld's resignation, never changed his immigration policies and had no association with hatemongers on the religious right. Joe's immaturity is also apparent in his cartoonishly simplistic take on the American electorate, whom he purports to know intimately, ostensibly by way of his own bigotry.

Exhibit A: “I remember during the Valerie Plame episode. Remember, Bob Novak told us from the beginning, "This wasn't an ideologue that gave me the name. This wasn't Karl – this wasn't a Bush operation." And liberals, ‘Oh, he's lying, da da da da da.’ And then remember earlier this year, Bob Novak -- and, of course, Novak was right.”

Sentence: Mandatory stint in Rageaholics Anonymous, nuts shaved live on "Morning Joe" by Pat Buchanan, pubes glued to face with a mixture of pulverized Cheetos and Jamie Foser's stool.

May I just say ... the "sentence" is PERFECT! :rofl:

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Bobbie Jo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 03:15 PM
Response to Reply #17
26. "has a decent shot at being named the world's largest toddler by Guinness."
:rofl:
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 12:59 PM
Response to Original message
18. 30. Antonin Scalia
30. Antonin Scalia

Charges: The bullet-shaped conservative justice should have stuck to his old policy of not allowing anyone to record him, because the more we see of him, the worse he seems. Scalia drew back the curtain on his legendary mind last April on "60 Minutes," revealing the legal acumen of a gibbon with a Magic 8-ball. Asked about the legal atrocity of Bush v. Gore, Nino bravely replied, "Gee, I really don't want to get into, I mean this is—get over it, it's so old by now." This about a 2000 decision, perhaps the least legally defensible in recent history, which has had and will continue to have an incalculable impact on this country and the world. Scalia has sebaceous cysts older than Bush v. Gore. But it was Scalia's asinine, compartmentalized semantic parsing on torture that we hoped would give pause to his lionizers. Arguing that torture isn't "cruel and unusual punishment" because the subject hasn't been convicted of a crime, so he can't be "punished," the so-called Constitutional Originalist puts the framers in the awkward position of saying that it's wrong to beat up a convicted criminal, but it's just dandy to kick the shit out of him before he is even charged.

Exhibit A: “Mere factual innocence is no reason not to carry out a death sentence properly reached.”

Sentence: Broken on the wheel by James Madison.

The sentence isn't nearly sufficient, imho.
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Blue_In_AK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 01:34 PM
Response to Original message
19. I was becoming a bit concerned going down that list,
asking myself, "But where's SARAH? Sarah HAS to be here." I'm so happy to see that she has earned the Number 1 honor. It couldn't go to a more deserving person. :)
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burythehatchet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 01:35 PM
Response to Original message
20. they had me at #50
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bullwinkle428 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 01:47 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. Getting named #50 on that list is almost a backhanded compliment!
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Sheets of Easter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #22
50. I agree. It seemed obligatory at best. Not that I am complaining.
:)
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alfredo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 02:17 PM
Response to Original message
23. 36. Ron Fournier
36. Ron Fournier

Charges: Since taking the reigns as AP Washington bureau chief in 2006, Fournier's steered the notorious just-the-facts wire service toward an opinionated brand of reporting he's dubbed “accountability journalism.” It sounds good, but when the country's most widely syndicated news outlet pawns its right-leaning opinions off as hard news, everybody gets a little more stupider. Fournier's “Obama walks arrogance line” article from March was the genesis of one such dumbed-down national conversation.

Exhibit A: Told Karl Rove to “Keep up the fight" in a recently revealed e-mail.

Sentence: Falling out with Rove, “accidental” plane crash.


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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 02:42 PM
Response to Reply #23
25. I liked that one, too. "Accidental" plane crash, indeed.
They don't pull any punches at The Beast.
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alfredo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 04:53 PM
Response to Reply #25
38. Love em even though it stings at times.
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Political_Junkie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 02:17 PM
Response to Original message
24. good stuff!
14. Ashley Todd

Charges: As attention-getting devices go, trying to start a race war is a tad disproportionate. It’s a good thing this batty bitch was completely hopeless as a fraudster, or her 11th hour “big black Barack backer battered burgled and branded Barbie” ruse could have done a lot worse than throw Pennsylvania to McCain. It’s not surprising that log cabin bottom feeder Matt Drudge slapped the headline “Shock: McCain volunteer ‘attacked and mutilated’ in Pittsburgh” on his bafflingly popular website in big red letters, as he’s got about a 40% accuracy rating on the stories he “breaks.” We’ve tried feeling sorry for Todd, but the fact that she scratched the “B” backwards, because she was looking in the mirror, is just too damned funny.

Exhibit A: “Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her cloths off, but its better if you do.”

Sentence: The reverse “B” never heals.


:rofl:
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corkhead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 03:31 PM
Response to Original message
27. Their server crashed. Is Matt Millen or Bill Ford on the list?
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mrs_p Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 03:45 PM
Response to Reply #27
28. not that i recall
i just kept reloading and the pages eventually came up...
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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 08:57 PM
Response to Reply #27
54. They should have been. At least they got Plaxico and Kwame.
Plaxico Burress from my beloved Michigan State and Kwame Kilpatrick from my beloved Detroit.

Plaxico is a joke. Kwame is very much more hard core. Bad news.
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Juan_de_la_Dem Donating Member (800 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
29. This list is great...43 had some hits
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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
30. I love this list. thank you.
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GinaMaria Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 04:11 PM
Response to Original message
32. OMG! that is too funny
Delicious down to the last word :-)
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myrna minx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 04:20 PM
Response to Original message
33. Oh, I love their annual lists. K&R n/t
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xxqqqzme Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 04:43 PM
Response to Original message
34. Waaaaa -'service temporarily unavailable'
bummer
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dorkulon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 04:51 PM
Response to Reply #34
36. Some nice person in the comments on boingboing mirrored the site:
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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 09:48 PM
Response to Reply #36
57. And that was you. Thanks!
You've got spunk.

I hate spunk.

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skyounkin Donating Member (722 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 10:45 PM
Response to Reply #36
58. Thanx for the other link
the original was blocked.

Great great list.

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sasquatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 04:46 PM
Response to Original message
35. I love #43
Charges: You think it’s your patriotic duty to spend money you don’t have on crap you don’t need. You think Hillary lost because of sexism, when it’s actually because she’s just a bad liar. You think Iraq is better off now than before we invaded, and don’t understand why they’re so ungrateful. You think Tim Russert was a great journalist. You’re hopping mad about an auto industry bailout that cost a squirt of piss compared to a Wall Street heist of galactic dimensions, due to a housing crash you somehow have blamed on minorities. It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. You deem it hunky dory that we conduct national policy debates via 8-second clips from “The View.” You think God zapped humans into existence a few thousand years ago, although your appendix and wisdom teeth disagree. You like watching vicious assholes insult each other on TV. You support gun rights, because firing one gives you a chubby. You cuddle falsehoods and resent enlightenment. You think the fact that 43% of whites could stomach voting for an incredibly charismatic and eloquent light-skinned black guy who was raised by white people means racism is over. You think progressive taxation is socialism. 1 in 100 of you are in jail, and you think it should be more. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American.

Exhibit A: You’re more upset by Miley Cyrus’s glamour shots than the fact that you are a grown adult who is upset about Miley Cyrus.

Sentence: Invaded and occupied by Canada; all military units busy overseas without enough fuel to get back.
:rofl:
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dorkulon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 04:51 PM
Response to Original message
37. mirrored, for those having trouble seeing it, here:
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marimour Donating Member (696 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 05:10 PM
Response to Original message
39.  lol 22. PUMA's
22. PUMAs

Charges: Redefining feminism as “supporting Hillary Clinton, whether she wants you to or not,” and “defending” that feminism by embodying negative stereotypes of women as irrational and scornful, there was no demographic more painfully dumb than aggrieved Hillary backers plotting to defeat Obama. Drunk on a dream of vengeance for their queen, this strange minority picked up every despicable, paranoid, racist talking point they could from the worst of the right wing, even complimenting Sean Hannity on his “fair and balanced” coverage of Obama. Desperately twisting words in a sad attempt to tar Obama as a sexist and willing to subject themselves and their country to a probable assault on reproductive rights in the name of spite, the PUMAs comported themselves with all the dignity and sense of a false rape accusation.

Exhibit A: It’s hard to choose, but nothing was more ridiculous this year than hearing an obscenely rich Hillary fundraiser named “Lady de Rothschild” describe Obama as “an elitist.”

Sentence: President Palin appoints Mullah Omar to Supreme Court.
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Dukkha Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 05:53 PM
Response to Original message
40. wow no Elisabeth Hasselbeck
I guess the year was so loathsome she wasn't even cutout to be part this band of bat shit crazies. Talk about irrelevant.
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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #40
53. Point well taken.
A deserving choice.
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Pacifist Patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 09:54 AM
Response to Reply #40
64. *snort*
:D
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Eric Condon Donating Member (761 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 06:34 PM
Response to Original message
41. The highlight, for me, is Tila Tequila. "Sentence: AIDS."
nt
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machI Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 07:18 PM
Response to Original message
42. A good read. Nice to see where people stand
Stand at the bottom of the list that is
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ElboRuum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 07:27 PM
Response to Original message
43. OMG!!11!! Server probably got Slashdotted.
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lpbk2713 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 07:32 PM
Response to Original message
44. Pretty good thumbnail of OxyRush.




The father of modern stupidity, Limbaugh spins reflexively, never struggling with issues, because he knows his conclusion must favor Republicans, and his only task is finding a way to get there. In other words, he may or may not actually believe what he’s saying, but it’s beside the point. His job is not to say what he thinks, but to instruct his listeners on what they should think. If the facts don’t agree, he can always change them, as his “ditto heads” are already armed against the contrary evidence with the all-purpose “liberal bias” attack. “Rush is right,” as the slogan goes, and all those nerdy reporters in the “drive by media” are lying, because they secretly love terrorists. It’s this creepily worshipful, breathtakingly infantile abdication of intellect to a blatantly dishonest hypocrite that makes Limbaugh’s audience so goddamn sad. These pathetic, insecure, failures of men look to Rush as the champion of their impotent rage, helping them to externalize responsibility for their own deficiencies, pinning the blame on those darn liberals and their racial and gender equality.

Exhibit A: You have to marvel at the sheer ignominy of someone who coins the term “Obama recession” just two days after the election.









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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 08:26 PM
Response to Reply #44
49. ROFLMAO! How appropriate for LimpBallz 58th birthday,
which is today! Hopefully, his huge cake will sink with the weight of all of those candles, with his face in it.
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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #44
55. Rush has harmed this country far more than almost anyone.
And gotten rich while doing it. We were born the same year. I can't tell you how much I despise that physical coward, and his spawn, like Hannity and Coulter.
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malaise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 07:34 PM
Response to Original message
45. Service temporarily unavailable
Edited on Mon Jan-12-09 07:59 PM by malaise
That sucks.

It's working now.
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lpbk2713 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 07:36 PM
Response to Reply #45
47. I got that too. Just keep trying.



That site must be getting a lot of traffic.


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Lasher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 08:44 AM
Response to Reply #47
62. Hmmm, still down.
Looks like their server mighta crashed.
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HughBeaumont Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 07:36 PM
Response to Original message
46. #1 is not even remotely a surprise.
And the first thing brought up is exactly what I thought post-election . . . Obama's victory aside, are we REALLY THAT STUPID?
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tomreedtoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 08:43 PM
Response to Original message
51. You can sum up the whole piece in two sentences.
"All you bastards go to Hell. I want a Scotch."

In other words, this "The Beast" piece is identical to George Bush's last press conference Monday.

I think snark has finally lost all its deprecating charm.
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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 08:48 PM
Response to Reply #51
52. I disagree. I like snark with my Scotch. Cutty Snark?
I love The Beast's year end take, as nasty as it is. Wish Esquire still did their thing, too. Ann Coulter on "The View." Now, that was nasty. This is a Judy Garland/Mickey Rooney movie compared to that harridan.
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TheKentuckian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 09:30 PM
Response to Original message
56. Great stuff
I saddened that Carly the Outsourcer failed to make it. Oh well, maybe the GOP will run her in 12.

:kick:
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seafan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-12-09 11:08 PM
Response to Original message
60. Not to be missed.
THE BEAST: 50 MOST LOATHSOME PEOPLE IN AMERICA, 2008




1. Sarah Palin

Charges: If you want to know why the rest of the world is scared of Americans, consider the fact that after two terms of disastrous rule by a small-minded ignoramus, 46% of us apparently thought the problem was that he wasn’t quite stupid enough. Palin’s unending emissions of baffling, evasive incoherence should have disqualified her for any position that involved a desk, let alone placing her one erratic heartbeat from the presidency. The press strained mightily to feign respect for her, praising a debate performance that involved no debate, calling her a “great speaker” when her only speech was primarily a litany of insults to city-dwellers, echoing bogus sexism charges when a male Palin would have been boiled alive for the Couric interview alone, and lionizing her as she used her baby as a Pro-life stage prop before crowds who cooed when they should have been hurling polonium-tipped javelins. In the end, Palin had the beneficial effect of splitting her party between her admirers and people who can read.

Exhibit A: Waving her embryo-loving credentials, in the form of her Down syndrome baby, at "But ultimately what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy."

Sentence: Hand-to-hand combat with Vladimir Putin and a pack of wolves.




Enjoy the other 49.


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Seldona Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 03:04 AM
Response to Original message
61. Mmmmm, that's good satire. nt
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GreenTea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 10:16 AM
Response to Original message
65. Great read, well written, worth keeping for quick reference when arguments arise with uninformed
Edited on Tue Jan-13-09 10:40 AM by GreenTea
bubble-heads.

Even if one doesn't agree with everyone on the list...And no one will...it makes for even more interesting reading and laughs. Some very funny stuff!

(But where's Coulter, too insignificant I'd guess, or she's perhaps that really only been back on the nut-train in 2009 - all 13 days of it).
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nyc 4 Biden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 11:10 AM
Response to Original message
66. This is great...
"... In the end, Palin had the beneficial effect of splitting her party between her admirers and people who can read."
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Phillycat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 11:28 AM
Response to Original message
67. I agree with their assessment of Keith Olbermann 1000%
37. Keith Olbermann

Charges: The crazy man’s Howard Beale, Olbermann is an infuriating conundrum—a person who adopts mostly correct positions for mostly erroneous reasons. Olbermann has an uncanny ability to find the obtusest angle on any issue, delivering glancing blows to wide open targets. Perhaps this is why Olbermann only argues with various cameras, reserving interviews for Newsweek sycophants whose main role on “Countdown” is to listen to a series of uncomfortably leading yes or no questions and reply to each, “that’s right, Keith.” He’s been wearing out the impact of his “special comments” like a cheap sex doll for the ratings, rapidly diminishing their credibility by applying the same outraged, spluttering, accusatory tone to his uniquely unbearable all-caps missives, whether directed at White House war criminals or Clinton campaign PR hacks. Largely false accusations of anti-Hillary bias in the media found their mark with Keith, who wildly overreacted to relatively minor Clinton slights, while engaging in freakish logical contortions to justify Obama’s apparent deficiencies, despite sad pretenses to objectivity. Somehow, manages to seem dykier than Rachael Maddow.

Exhibit A: “I don’t vote…it's the only thing I can do that suggests even that I don't have a horse in the race."

Sentence: Obama loses in 2012 by one vote.

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LaPera Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 11:53 AM
Response to Reply #67
68. Astonishing to me....
With all the true republican assholes on the list you choose a liberal to jump on...

No doubt Olbermann is self obsessed...still he spoke out on television at a time when no else would dare...

I like the guy and certainly would hate to see KO off the air and some republican asshole in his place...

I'm sure you feel differently....but I'll take an articulate opinionated ego manic liberal than some well behaved republican spewing bullshit each & every day in his place...we certainly don't have many liberals or progressive on television news, we need more not less.
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Phillycat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 02:08 PM
Response to Reply #68
69. Olbermann is no liberal to me.
He showed during the primaries that he is simply an egomaniac who loves the sound of his own voice. If he were a real liberal, he would have refrained from slandering one of the Democratic candidates for president in order to boost his ratings.
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booley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 03:07 PM
Response to Reply #69
71. slander means something was untrue
what did he say about a democratic candidate that was factually untrue?

The KO section is the only one here I have a problem with because it seems to say that he had Anti-Clinton Bias AND a Pro-Clinton Bias at the same time.

KO's apparent self importance aside, how can one be unfairly for and against someone at once?
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Phillycat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #71
72. It does not say or imply he had a pro-Clinton bias.
Just the opposite. Which is correct. The vitriolic, personal hatred he expressed for Hillary Clinton as a person and a candidate turned many people off to him for good. Including me.
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booley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 04:26 PM
Response to Reply #72
73. As I said, slander meant something is untrue
You need to show where KO said something about CLinton that was untrue.

Unflattering is not the same as untrue. Saying stuff you don't like is not the same as untrue.
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Phillycat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 05:05 PM
Response to Reply #73
75. I don't NEED to do anything.
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booley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 11:36 PM
Response to Reply #75
77. if you want any credibility you do
otherwise I can't help but thjink you are doing exactly what you accuse KO of doing, lying about someone to make them look bad.


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Nikki Stone1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 02:36 PM
Response to Original message
70. The single most USEFUL piece of info on this list: annualcreditreport.com
40. Free Credit Report.com guy

Charges: OK, he’s actually French-Canadian, but he invades America’s headspace every day. It’s bad enough that we have to see this albino smurf lip-sync some ad man’s grating jingles of financial woe fifty times a day. It’s bad enough that these ditties, as calculatedly infectious as bio-weapons, bounce around our skulls like a .22 caliber bullet. But the kicker is that this culture parasite and his “band” are hawking a scam. That’s right; freecreditreport.com isn’t free—in fact, it’s 15 bucks a month after the week-long “trial period.”

Exhibit A: There is a website where you can get a free credit report: It’s called annualcreditreport.com, and it was created in compliance with an act of Congress by the three big credit reporting agencies, Equifax, Experian and TransUnion. Then Experian set up freecreditreport.com, and their suicide-encouraging commercials, to cultivate and benefit from public confusion.

Sentence: Powering Ween’s tour bus with a stationary bicycle.
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sniffa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 04:33 PM
Response to Original message
74. Yay! I've been waiting for this to come out.
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Sebastian Doyle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 05:15 PM
Response to Original message
76. Looks like they pretty much hate everybody.
I guess that makes them more "fair and balanced" than FAUX Noize, at least. :shrug:
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agincourt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-13-09 11:47 PM
Response to Original message
78. No Bill O'Reilly, Michael Savage
Glen Beck, and Ann Coulter? Naw I don't think it cuts it as the most loathsome list. Obama at #50? Cute but not an accurate represention of our real hall of shame. Not nearly enough CEOs or televangelists either.
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