The Many Man-Crushes of Chris Matthews (by Eric Alterman for the Nation)

The Liberal Media | posted March 22, 2007 (April 9, 2007 issue)
The Many Man-Crushes of Chris Matthews
Eric Alterman


Chris Matthews is not known as a particularly right-wing television talk-show host nor, by the standards of the profession, a particularly foolish one. NBC considers him to be such an asset, it gave him his own Sunday program, in addition to the nightly cable shoutfest Hardball.

Within MSNBC, Matthews represents the "center" between the right-wing Tucker Carlson and the taken-for-a-liberal Keith Olbermann. It's worth taking a closer look, therefore, at just what passes for classy, centrist and sane in today's Fox-driven cable cosmos.

Like anyone who spends much time on live TV, Chris Matthews tends to say a lot of silly things. (I did too during the two years I was so employed.) But patterns and passions tell a tale, and those exhibited by Matthews are revealing. Like Elvis, Matthews can't help falling in love. And also like the King--who developed a thing for both Richard Nixon and J. Edgar Hoover late in life--the object of Matthews's affection is invariably a tough-talking, self-styled Republican macho-man. And when he gets going on one of these guys, his style of punditry owes more to, say, Tiger Beat or Teen People than the Trilateral Commission.

Going back to 9/11, Matthews found himself blown away not by Bush's political or military response but by his ability to throw a baseball. He compared the man to--I kid you not--Ernest Hemingway. "There are some things you can't fake," he explained breathlessly. "Either you can throw a strike from sixty feet or you can't. Either you can rise to the occasion on the mound at Yankee Stadium with 56,000 people watching or you can't. On Tuesday night, George W. Bush hit the strike zone in the House that Ruth Built.... This is about knowing what to do at the moment you have to do it--and then doing it. It's about that 'grace under pressure' that Hemingway gave as his very definition of courage." .....(more)

The complete piece is at: http://www.thenation.com/doc/20070409/alterman

this piece is sooooo funny

and true

i love Eric!!!

If Tweety can have a crush, then so can I.

I'm just not as fickle as Tweets. Plus, I HATE Republicans

he's read this. Hopefully he'll tone it down.

Do you even need an article

It is SO true. Tweety is constantly foaming at the mouth with desire over the superficial attributes of Repug men. He is SUCH a roundheels about them, honestly. Falling into bed at the slightest provocation.

he's a mimbo.

bush is a sociopath and could give a shit about the 9/11 victims that condi as National Security Adviser couldn't quite come up with a SECURITY PLAN!

That was when the so-called 90% of the country was behind bush? Yeah, I was in the 10% cause I knew that little shit was a smirkin' rathole from the getgo.

Is Tiger Beat still around? I remember teen age girls in Junior High in the 1960s reading Tiger Beat to fawn over photos of the Monkeys or similar teen idols.

And yet, I do.

I must have been 7, and wrote him a letter saying I loved him
and my MOM found it!

So, who was your Monkee? Your Beatle? Mine was John & I'll still always love him.

a few weeks back my fellow teachers and I were flipping through a similar magazine left behind by one of our students. What struck me as really creepy was the in-your-face portrayal of adolescent boys as beefcake, maybe even a few shirtless shots thrown in, pouting for the camera, etc. I mean...if girls were presented that way people would be flipping out.

"Just what so worried Matthews could only be inferred, as he was, like, too shy to say what he really meant. It's possible his concern was sartorial in nature, as the candidates' clothing has proven a Matthews obsession in presidential elections past. In 1999, for instance, he grew obsessed with Al Gore's suit buttons. "What could that possibly be saying to women voters, three buttons?" he asked a guest. "Is there some hidden Freudian deal here or what? I don't know, I mean, Navy guys used to have buttons on their pants." Indeed, Matthews thought the button development so significant, he returned to it five nights in a row."

At least on their blues.

That's a Tweety quote. I'm pretty sure.

Must've been some throw - glad I missed that, or I might have fallen in love myself!

it too - I just thought he sometimes had an over animated spittle fest with Republicans - especially Ann the Man - I thought he was going to go spastic in that last interview, you know, that one where she called Al Gore a fag? Gee, I haven't seen Ann around on CNN lately - ???

*snort!*

Put that slut in a saucy little suit and make him dance.

His pals in Saudi Arabia will LOVE it!

I've always wondered why that matters in a presidential candidate. But Tweety always talks about it

I still remember speculating on which picture of George Tweety kept under his pillow at night.

Who's to say the author's not a DUer? Ya never know.

For when he's schtupping the wife!

His wife is actually a terrific person. Very smart and charming. A cutie, too. And a REAL Dem.

I've seen her host the show before.

I say this because I feel a wee-bit guilty joining in on this crack, but hey--what the fuck 'ya gonna do?

And Chris was at it again this week, calling Shrub "a tiger" for his pathetic press conference.

Really, does the man have no shame?

During the Codpiece Event, he was practically grabbing at his crotch.

I half expected him to put an imaginary phone to his ear and mouth the words, "George, call me".

It's like Tweety's a kid's barber from 1966.

"Floyd" Matthews, the creepy neighborhood hair-clipper who always managed to position his crotch flush against your hand.

He could barely read off a teleprompter, and Matthews was talking about how great he was.

but this tweety quote is just scary: "A lot of people...like the cut of John McCain's jib."

Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

(what's a jib?)

You know, one of those "manly" expressions

Hey Tweety, cliche much?

How else?

I'll email it to him

That's a sketch I'd stay up to watch.

it's about time someone wrote about this .

and yet NO ONE says a word.

Not one writer (until now), not Tom Tommorow (let's go, Tom!), not SNL, nor Mad TV.

Slackers, all of 'em.

Even Hollywood could be making a movie: "The Strange Man-Loves of Tweety Ivers."

I enjoyed the Gore "fourth-mealer" jokes, but come ON...this man-crush stuff is GOLD!

And there are TAPES. Get moving, The Daily Show. We are TIRED of waiting for the skinny on Tweety to be aired.

You think the Dean Scream was bad? Ha! Have cable news run the clips of Matthews' slobbering over his stable of fave dudes for days on end and see what happens to his outlook.

It would be an interesting experiment on shaping the publics' view of an individual, wouldn't it now?

He'll start gushing over literally nothing. Usually it's a republican. The other day it was over Bush giving a shitty, whiny "speech" in response to Leahy and Schumer's ownage.

Or did I dream that? A TV political commentator telling America that a ManChimp "glimmers" and that he is "sunny"? It's truly bizarre.

Get that flaxen-haired lad some man-lovin'.

All that's between him and being between George and Jeffy is that Catholic upbringing of his. They can make a "journalist" sandwich! Hold the mayo.

Y'all can still attend mass at "Dignity", Tweets.

... hold the mayo!!

hold the lettuce, because "special orders" don't upset us...

It was too vile, even for me.

This I gotta hear!


And when are you coming back to the KOEB?

It figures that you liked it, you hopeless pervert.

Since you've asked about the KOEB...SOON!

I'm still in a huff over Keith's relationship with that high school candy-striper/My Little Pony collector, or whatever it is that hussy does.

Why can't Keith be obsessed with men? Dammit!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

"And if you really, really like Katie, we could adopt her."

I mean, geez - - it sounded like Keith found a playmate. Or a puppy.

When he has an "idea". Glimmer means less than bright to me.

applied at a fabulous drag ball with George as Britney Spears and Tweety as Kevin Federline.

Not that you asked, or anything.

But yes, "a glimmer of consciousness." ALMOST applies to George.

gone further on this topic

i know all this slobbering tweety does over these pukes (appearance related, personality related, etc) drives me INSANE!!

cable so I've rarely seen Tweety, yet the few times I have I seem to recall him saying stuff just like that.

He is definitely a republican shrill and only circulates the latest "talking points" "a true tweety bird".

I do wish he'd appear on cspan more often. The republican callers hate him. teehee!

we have always commented on his "crushes".. he does luv his W in those tight jeans and he about melted when he saw him in the flight suit

or what he perceived to be a lack of one. His comments (on not just one episode of "Hardball," but two,) were nauseating.

I think he's developed yet another man crush.

Julie

Then again, think how much fun THAT would be!



PJF -- still so much cuter than Tweety!

Julie
president for life of the PFEB

You could form your own posse. I'd join!

Chicago's Sopraffina restaurant today. He had the mixed salad and a turkey panini. He was overheard to say "excuse me" after he burped, then he went back to the office."

LOL!
Julie

I a man who says "excuse me" when he burps!

He's shown impeccable manners everywhere else, why not with that, too?


Julie

And immediately sign up with the Log Cabin Republicans.

I'm glad someone else has noticed!

And it's the funniest, too.

He totally p'ed me off during the CA recall, when he FIERCELY said that the Dems BETTER NOT go negative on Ahhnuld. (Among the MYRIAD of times he p'es me off.)

hehehehehe

AHAHAHAHAHA

Spot on article! I give it a 10!

So speaketh the Jawbone of an Ass.

Chin up, stiff upper lip, and all that sort of thing.

No bases for it at all. *runs*

He just got called out

before I quit watching Tweety Drool, "Why don't you and that Gawd Damned Nazified Chimp, Just Get A Freakin' Room Chrissy!"

And remember that now-infamous Mission Accomplished moment? True, Matthews did not join his guest G. Gordon Liddy in admiring--still not kidding--the President's pretend penis, but he was no less focused on Bush's fashion statements. "He looks great in a military uniform. He looks great in that cowboy costume he wears when he goes West," he cooed. "We're proud of our President. Americans love having a guy as President, a guy who has a little swagger, who's physical, who's not a complicated guy like Clinton.... Women like a guy who's President. Check it out."

Eric you rock!

Sometimes Tweety sounds almost sane--which is why I watch him. He's done some good smackdowns of Republican talking point reciters and can be fun to watch.

Oh but confront him with a big throbbing piece of tough talking Republican manhood and Tweety swoons like a schoolgirl in love. He can be trashing Bush for weeks on the issues but let the Idiot in Chief come out with his "Bring 'em On" swagger on display and this critic of Bush policy melts becomes the most fawning of admirers.

Sounds to me like Chris Matthews needs counseling.

All this info has been discussed here extensively.

Don

Dr. Dean campaigned with his shirtsleeves rolled up, and Tweety gushed over "his manly forearms."

and "Tweety" or "Chris Matthews."

'..."He's got a great chin, I've noticed."...'

great chin? ah well, different strokes.....

it creeps me out.

He truly is OVERCOME by manliness. Hell, I thought he was going to propose to one of his new panel members last night. He just LOVED his tan and his "healthy glow"...

Courtesy of Media Matters

MATTHEWS: He looks for real. What is it about the commander in chief role, the hat that he does wear, that makes him -- I mean, he seems like -- he didn't fight in a war, but he looks like he does.

Chris - George, Part 1: Bush sometimes "glimmers" with "sunny nobility." On MSNBC's Hardball, during a discussion with Washington Times editorial page editor Tony Blankley of the effects on President Bush and his administration of the investigation into the leak of the name of CIA operative Valerie Plame, Matthews said "sometimes it glimmers with this man, our president, that kind of sunny nobility."


Chris - George, Part 4: Bush "belongs on Mount Rushmore." Recounting his experience at a White House party, Matthews said that he "felt sensitive" during his interactions with the president, adding: "You get your picture taken with him. It's like Santa Claus, and he's always very generous and friendly." He continued: "I felt like I was too towel-snappy with him," explaining that Bush had noted his "red scarf" and remarked that he looked "preppy." During the same show, Matthews stated: "If gamble that he can create a democracy in the middle of the Arab world" is successful, "he belongs on Mount Rushmore."


Chris George, Part 2: "Everybody sort of likes the president, except for the real whack-jobs ..." Insulting the majority of Americans who hold an unfavorable opinion of President Bush, Matthews exclaimed on Hardball: "Everybody sort of likes the president, except for the real whack-jobs, maybe on the left," adding, "I mean, like him personally."
Chris ♥ George, Part 3: Matthews praised Bush speech as "brilliant" even before it was delivered. Before Bush had even delivered his November 30 speech at the U.S. Naval Academy, Matthews used variations of the word "brilliant" twice to describe it, while deriding Democratic critics of the Iraq war as "carpers and complainers."

http://mediamatters.org/items/200602270010

Matthews on Bush and the port deal: "He looks like he's a wise man now ... almost Atticus Finch"

I understand that they're often the last to know.

I hope he horndogs her AT LEAST half as much as he does the menfolk on his show.

snip
He continued: "I felt like I was too towel-snappy with him," explaining that Bush had noted his "red scarf" and remarked that he looked "preppy."

/snip

Dear Diary,

Today I met with our wonderful president and he noticed my red scarf! *Swoon* I hope his comment about me looking preppy was a compiment. Oh, I wish I could have been a preppy with him at Andover, on the cheerleading squad. He is just such a man! I mean the cut of his jib is like totally awesome!

by sad sad news over the past couple of days, about Elizabeth Edwards, about poisoned pets, I go back and read this piece over again, and every time I discover that I still have some chuckles left in me. Thanks Eric, you are a real humanitarian! I think it's going to make Hardball go down a bit easier for a while.

everytime he opened his mouth and that Edwards did very well. So I check out Hardball afterwards and Matthews was gushing over Cheney, saying "Cheney came loaded for bear and found squirrel!". I immediately emailed msnbc and told them I had watched the show for the last time.

I remember the night that Chris Matthews's voice was nearly falsetto as he cried out that "Al Gore is an idiot. The man is an idiot" revealing his screwy, pent-up boy passion for George W. Bush.

Does Eric have any Village People costumes that might launch Tweets to twittering?

I dare you to stoke your imagination with THOSE images.

from the play about Anne as the Mistress to the King, Henry VII, who seduces her with his power. A line from the famous play:

"Power is as exciting as love,"

"and who has more of it than the king?"

Was he any good at clearing brush?