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oh shucks, even Obama's poop has to be guarded

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ensho Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 11:24 AM
Original message
oh shucks, even Obama's poop has to be guarded


http://counterpunch.com/ketcham01052009.html


A Rotten Washington Interlude
The Revenge of the Blogger at the National Press Club

-snip-

What I like most about Madsen, especially in the swamp of self-regarding overdressed queen-journos in DC, is that his blog, the Wayne Madsen Report, knows how to make a joke, and in fact it serves as a running commentary on the hilarious weirdness of the US government. Even Bushs Crap is Classified Top Secret, he reports, relating how the Secret Service scoops up George Bushs feces during visits to compromised foreign toilets. White House toilet security, or TOILSEC, does not want foreign intelligence culling the shit for clues to the contents of the presidential stomach. (And if you dont believe it, note that, in an era when the merest medical conditions of top political leaders are state secrets, the Israeli Mossad has conducted sewage pipe ops against Syrian President Hafez Assad, and during Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev's visit to Washington in 1987, the CIA reportedly placed a special trap under a sewage tank to collect the Soviet leaders bodily waste for analysis.)

-snip-
--------------------------


sigh - men will be men
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 11:27 AM
Response to Original message
1. RE: sigh - men will be men
No shit.
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Still Sensible Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 11:27 AM
Response to Original message
2. Shit happens?
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Rosa Luxemburg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 11:27 AM
Response to Original message
3. otherwise they could have found out how many 'pretzels' he'd been eating
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TechBear_Seattle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 11:30 AM
Response to Original message
4. I wasn't aware that coke was detectable in feces
Who knows what other illict substances might be found?
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Poll_Blind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 11:38 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. Maybe not in feces but unless Bush has had a Sphynx, the ass hairs which come off...
...in the wiping process would easily allow for all sorts of drug testing.

PB
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TechBear_Seattle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 12:00 PM
Original message
Got it.
Which would also explain the whole sanitation protocol as well. Very interesting.
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 12:25 PM
Response to Reply #7
16. And any other hair would determine if the little fucker is still eating live rats.
Or, alternatively, feathers, if he is still biting the heads off chickens.
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Poll_Blind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 12:29 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. Cheney turned him onto human blood a while back...
But, god, the image you have in my mind now. Bush extending his lower jaw like a snake to eat a hapless rat like in the TV miniseries "V".

PB
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. Yep - people think he's doing the cocaine chew, but that's just the rat tickling
as it tries to climb back out.
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lonestarnot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 11:30 AM
Response to Original message
5. caca caca
:puke:
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Poll_Blind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 11:36 AM
Response to Original message
6. I don't know about the slam on men at the end but really, poop can reveal quite a bit.
  Again, I don't see the reason to try to portray this as an absurdity. First, analyzing the waste of any organism will tell you alot about that organism. Their diet, medical conditions and possibly even drugs they may be taking.

  Urine, similarly reveals quite a bit about the organism.

  And those silly ass hairs that come off in the wiping? Quite useful as well.

  It pays to know what drugs a world leader is taking and what level of health they are in. Getting stool, urine and hair samples gives an incredible window into the health, social habits, etc. of that world leader.

  Of course, feces is stigmatized and so it's a big ha-ha. That's fine. But it doesn't change how much information one can glean which might otherwise be very difficult to ascertain.

PB
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ensho Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 11:47 AM
Response to Reply #6
8. most women readers knew what I meant
Edited on Mon Jan-05-09 11:47 AM by ensho

in a personal and world politics way
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Quantess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 12:04 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. I don't. I think that comment was a non-sequiter, and unnecessary.
It takes mental gymnastics to tie sex/gender with fecal meddling.
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nevergiveup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 11:50 AM
Response to Reply #6
9. This is more than I needed to know
Why people post this shit baffles me. But then again, I did read it and post a comment :shrug:
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Poll_Blind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 11:55 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. The internets are beguiling that way!
PB
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Posteritatis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 12:15 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. Ah, but it's easier to snark on these sorts of things than confuse ourselves with facts
I admit it's a bit odd seeing people being (A) surprised or (B) outraged over things like this, since having an eye on secrecy/security about such things seems totally reasonable to me.

(And, of course, the slam on men and its rather weak defense were both somewhat idiotic and unrelated to any of this.)
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backscatter712 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 11:55 AM
Response to Original message
11. And they thought the Groom of the Stool was a mere historical oddity.
http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/W/worstjobs/...

Attention all ambitious noblemen! Following the untimely death of Sir Henry Norris, a new groom of the stool is required by Henry VIII. The primary duty of the groom is to see 'the house of easement be sweet and clear' or, more plainly, to clean the royal rear and privy.

It's always interesting to look at your own stool but imagine looking at the king's and laying it in a dish. As for wiping with the hands: there is no toilet paper at the Tudor court just try not to think of the meat-heavy diet of the big man.

This is a challenging position for someone looking for exciting openings, for whom no job is to too big or small. Light relief may be provided by regular enema and laxative administrations. It's a coveted position no one else will be so often alone with His Royal Highness, so although you will be dealing with number twos, you will be number one in the privy chamber. (And, later, the eminent historian David Starkey will write about you in his doctoral thesis.)
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ensho Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 12:00 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. I've read a novel with a character that was the Ruler's stool man


it was wonderfully descriptive including the odor of the passed gas.

don't remember the name of the novel - before 8 yrs. ago. a woman writer. think it was Sci/Fi/
fantasy
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damntexdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 12:06 PM
Response to Original message
14. Well, the GOP is obsessed with crap.
Both full of it, and pushing it as their political stances.
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LynneSin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #14
18. That's because they are all full of shit
:D
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arcadian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-05-09 12:35 PM
Response to Original message
19. Suppose it could determine if somebody has a terminal illness
It's still gross as hell.
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