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What if major computer companies ran the auto industry???

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ddeclue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-08-08 05:31 PM
Original message
What if major computer companies ran the auto industry???
The iCar would cost $100,000 more than MSAuto 2009 (available for $49.99 at BestBuy with a $4000 mail in rebate) but be based on an obscure free car that only certain mechanics have ever heard of called OpenCar-nix that you have to build yourself from free designs and parts available from the internet.

MSAuto 2009 would crash for no particular reason sitting in your driveway but would be easily repaired by turning the car off and back on again or by holding down three particular buttons on the MSRadio.

MSAuto 2009 would require a constant internet connection so that it could validate that you are indeed the proper owner of the vehicle and so that it could continue to automatically install free new improved equipment to handle "recall" problems.


The iCar would have limited cargo and passenger room compared to MSAuto 2009.

It would only come in white, black or silver.

It would be battery powered but the batteries could not be replaced without paying a specialist $8,000 in labor cost and $42,000 in batteries.

You would have to attend special classes at iDriverSchool to know how to drive iCar because the traditional steering wheel interface would be replaced by something dreamed up by outerspace aliens that makes no sense to normal people.

It would come without an iRadio, iCruiseControl, and iAirConditioning but you could purchase these "upgrades" at the iAutoStore.

In contrast MSAuto 2009 would come bundled with "free" MSHome, MSVacation, and MSGroceryStore however you would have no choice but to accept these "free" items which you didn't want to buy in the first place.

The iCar would occasionally crash for no reason whatsoever when driving on certain iRoads but would have to be returned to the iCarStore to be repaired using secret methods.

The iCar could only be driven in California at exorbitant per mile fees on iRoads due to an exclusive contract between Apple and the State of California . Fees would be paid online through iTunes.

The MSAuto 2009 could be driven around the world but would require downloading special language packs in England and Japan so that you could drive on the other side of the road.

Hackers would be able to unlock your iCar to drive it out of California and would sell such hacked iCars on eBay.

Finally a much improved version of iCar would be released a year after all the initial iCar hype called iCar 2.0 that fixes many of the design flaws of iCar 1.0 . If you bought the original iCar, you're just screwed. Of course they forgot to tell you that you were buying iCar 1.0, they just called it the iCar when you bought it.

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OffWithTheirHeads Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-08-08 05:42 PM
Response to Original message
1. You forgot the part about where you would have to call
some guy in Bangladesh who puts you on hold for at least an hour, doesn't speak English and really can't help you every time you needed your car tweeked.
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Atman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-08-08 06:16 PM
Response to Original message
2. What a stupid post.
Hate Apple much? Why don't you just say it.

Absurd, ridiculous to the extreme.


But I'm sure the MS lovers will rejoice. This will be a popular thread.


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ddeclue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-09-08 09:47 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. I'm an equal opportunity someone who works as a
software engineer and spends a lot of time with PC's I certainly know their flaws. As someone who everybody knows is a computer guru, my friends with Apples ask for my help too and I get to see their issues too.

As Sargeant Halka (Warren Oates) said in Stripes: "Lighten Up Francis"...

Doug D.
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doc03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-08-08 07:09 PM
Response to Original message
3. On certain roads it would also pick-up a virus
and you would have to take it to the shop to have it disinfected for a few hundred bucks. Then they would say you need the latest anti-virus program and charge you a few more hundred and you would have to put it in the shop every few weeks to download updates on the thing. While all along the same repair shops are hard at work thinking up new viruses to make your car sick again.
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ThomWV Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-09-08 09:49 AM
Response to Original message
5. What if Larry Flint ran the auto companies? There would be plastic titties on every hood.
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